Alright, I really need to say "I'm sorry" for a good... 500 times. Seriously. I am so sorry you guys. I meant--really, truly meant!--to get an update out before last Thursday, because I had relatives come then, and I just knew I wouldn't get anything done with them here. So I started working hard on this chapter, and then... just stopped. And then my relatives came, and sure enough, no time to work on it. So seriously, I am utterly sorry. I promise to try as hard as I can to get another chapter out as soon as possible. And I also apologize for this chapter's short length... I tried and tried to lengthen it, and it just wouldn't lengthen! Oh well, right? Anyway, please enjoy!

Chapter 4: Distress

I wanted to run away. I wanted to run away as fast as I could. To turn right around and exit through the other door in the room. And then run and run until I was back in Bevelle, safe in my house.

And at the same time, I never wanted the moment to end. I never wanted to have Tidus leave my sight. I wanted to stand there, fully in-shock, staring at Tidus, who also appeared fully in-shock. I never wanted the moment to end.

Baralai is the one who caused it to end.

"So you just bumming around then?" Baralai said. I think he noticed the apparent tension between Tidus and I, but he said nothing on it. He kept it casual.

Tidus slowly looked away from me (and I'm not going to lie, I felt a mixture of happiness and dread at the same time, the two emotions filling up inside of me) and over to Baralai.

"Yeah," he said, very slowly. "I have nothing better to do." His eyes came back to me.

I swallowed, and knew that even though I didn't want to leave, I had to. The situation wasn't about to become any less awkward. And so, I quickly ducked past him, and darted out of the room, hoping my departure didn't make the entire thing even more awkward than it already was.

And now I'm at my desk, writing out more names on the forms, my eyes darting uneasily at the doorway, as if expecting Tidus to appear. Baralai is still gone, maybe still with Tidus. It shocked me, actually, how chummy Baralai seemed to be with Tidus. From the way he was talking about Tidus just moments before our run in, I would have assumed Baralai either didn't know Tidus very well or didn't like him very much.

I see a flicker in the doorway then, and I feel my heart begin to pound. It isn't Tidus, though, but instead Baralai.

He walks in and sits at his desk, letting out a low sigh as he picks up a sheet of paper lying in front of his computer.

I want to ask him where Tidus is, but I refrain, and instead continue to write out names. I only have fifty or so to go.

Baralai and I work in silence for some time, and I am no longer on the edge that I was on earlier. Instead, a small smile has curled itself onto my face, and I know I am slipping into a dreamy state once again. The crumpled up sheet of paper in my pocket is uncomfortable against my leg as I sit, and reminds me that I should really not go into my dreamy state.

It's hard not to, though. I feel myself close my eyes as I let out a slow sigh. Tidus. I had just seen him, just been so close to him. It was ridiculous of me to think about it—to obsess over it!—and it didn't take me long to open my eyes quickly. Tidus undoubtedly thought I was creepy. He had to. He recognized me. That much I knew. I could see it in his eyes.

It started out with confusion. And then, I saw his face slowly relax with recognition. He knew it was me.

I lick my lips and look up, and find myself jump slightly. Baralai was sitting at his desk, his eyes on me. He was staring at me in thought—I could see that much in his brown eyes.

He notices that I'm looking at him, and leans back in his chair, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"So…" he says slowly, "that was… kinda strange between Tidus and you."

I don't know what to say. I swallow, and shrug, and pretend to turn back to my work.

"You're not star-struck like the rest of Zanarkand's population, are you?" Baralai asks me, and I notice a playful smile on his lips. His smile relieves me. Perhaps he thinks I just find Tidus attractive. Which, I do, I add to myself. Too bad there's more to it than attraction. But maybe it wouldn't be bad to play off of it…

Baralai continues before I can think any more. "I just remembered that Tidus played for the U of Bevelle. Do you remember him?"

My eyes dart up to Baralai, and I shrug. "Maybe?" I say, not meaning to make the word sound like a question.

"He wasn't a star for them or anything at first," Baralai explains. "He was disappointing, actually, considering who his dad is."

I have to hold my tongue—disappointing? Not a word I would use to explain Tidus.

Baralai continues. "But I guess he had a breakout sophomore season or something? The Abes see something in him, anyway. Although I'm not sure what."

Baralai is making me angry, and I begin to hope it doesn't show in my face. Shut-up, shut-up, shut-up runs through my head, and I can feel my right nostril raise just slightly in disgust.

"But hey, the fans love him. Probably for his looks."

I lick my lips, and I cross my arms. "Tidus interests me, actually," I say, hoping I'm not glaring despite the fact that I dreadfully want to do so. "I think he's very talented. I can't understand what he's still doing playing with the Wasps."

At that moment, Baralai and I both suddenly hear a stiff "huh" from the hallway. I feel my heart drop, and both Baralai and I quickly look at the open doorway, where Tidus is standing there, his arms crossed, his eyes on me.

Before either Baralai or I can say anything, Tidus says, "Sorry, but I don't need you standing up for me." His words catch me off guard, especially the harshness of his tone. He looks away from me then, and cocks his head to the right, his eyes now on Baralai.

"Anyway Barry, Wakka told me to ask you if you had the scouting reports."

"What do you need those for?" Baralai asks, not fazed the least that Tidus caught him talking about him. Before Tidus can answer though, Baralai already has the papers out.

"Checking out your competition?" Baralai asks, handing Tidus the papers.

"Dude, what's your deal?" Tidus just says, shaking his head. He casts a quick look at me, and I think I see him roll his eyes. With that, he walks out, shutting the door behind him.

"Could he get any fuller of himself?" Baralai asks, shaking his head.

"He's not full of himself," I say.

"You're pretty defensive of him," Baralai shoots back at me.

"You don't know him!" I say quickly—too quickly.

Baralai shakes his head and turns around in his chair to face his computer.

"And you supposedly don't either," he says. "Although with the way you and Tidus act around each other… you sure he's not an ex-boyfriend or something?"

"No," I say, and I don't bother to hide the defeat in my voice.

"So what then?" he asks, his face suddenly looking to have some concern. He must have noticed the disappointment in my tone.

"Apparently he just doesn't like me," I just say, turning back to my work.

"And yet you're still gonna defend him?"

I don't know how to answer that. My heart slowly begins to pound. I had been so focused on the fact that Tidus had heard what I had said and had heard what Baralai had said that I had forgotten his words to me. They were harsh. Mean. Not even slightly nice. I try to think of his words on a more positive note. Maybe he is just embarrassed that a girl is standing up for him?

"Well, what about you, Baralai," I say, attempting to sound confident. "Really, what's your problem with Tidus? Was it something personal?"

"No, of course not," Baralai says. "I'm just telling it to you the way it is. Wakka's sold on him, but that's just 'cause Wakka's a huge fan of his dad. I don't know, I read a lot of coach's reports and stuff. The kid's not impressing."

"Why not?" I ask, no longer worrying about my emotions showing. I can hear it in my own voice—it hurts to think that Tidus isn't doing well. Even if he was just a jerk to me (and I couldn't be certain—I didn't want to think about what Tidus thought…) I still wanted him to do well.

"Got me," Baralai says with a shrug. He looks at me then, his stare rather hard. "But I think I seem to know him better than you do."

"You do," I say quickly, knowing—and not caring—that I'm going back and forth. I sigh and turn back to the last of my work, but I do not doubt that I keep feeling Baralai's eyes on me every now and then.

Finally, I finish. "I'm done," I announce, aware that it is the first thing I have said to Baralai in over twenty minutes.

"Good for you," he says, and I feel myself frown at the sound of his voice. He sounds bored with me, but as if he is purposely trying to sound that way. He is facing his computer, his mouth curved into a scowl, his eyebrows furrowed, his fingers of left hand drumming loudly on his desk.

"What would you like me to do next?" I ask with a smile, forcing my voice to sound a little more uplifted. I can't create tension between my supervisor and myself, after all.

Baralai's face slowly softens, and he turns to me and says, "That's probably good for today. Feel free to go do whatever you want."

"Here?" I ask, knowing I sound stupid.

He lets out a silent laugh and says, "Wherever."

"Alright," I say, standing. "See you tomorrow?"

"Yep," comes his quick answer. "See you tomorrow."

-

Tidus. Tidus, Tidus, Tidus. I'm walking down the sidewalk, heading to my hotel, my eyes dreamily looking ahead of me as I walk. Tidus. Just hours ago, I saw Tidus. I spoke to Tidus! I… I stop—literally. Tidus.

It was my worst nightmare come true. Tidus did recognize me (and, okay, so I smile a little bit when thinking about this. He knows who I am!) and Tidus also had the pleasure (or, not so much pleasure…) of hearing me stand up for him.

I came here to see Tidus. I came here because the feelings I have for him are so overwhelming that I truly had no idea what else to do.

I sigh. I don't want him to think I'm a creep, a total obsessive freak, but maybe that is what I am. It's…hard.

"I wish I knew why I feel this way," I find myself mumbling as I reach the door to the massive hotel.

I open the door and walk in, my mind everywhere. I had a lot of planning to do, really. How was I going to get myself out of the mess I was in? The funny thing was is the fact that I wasn't even in a mess. So I had a little awkward meeting with Tidus. And so Tidus wasn't exactly as friendly as he was the previous time I had seen him. The world hadn't ended. Life was still going on, I was still living. I had all summer with Tidus. I was sure of that now. All summer to make him understand that I just want to be friends. I bite my tongue. Okay, so I'd love to be more than friends, but for now, the goal had to be just friends. Just friends.

I repeat "just friends" over and over in my mind as I walk up the stairs. The staircase is marvelous, actually, and has a landing with a chair and a couch, overlooking the lobby. Plants are all around, making the staircase appear both glamorous and slightly tropic. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it. In fact, I feel my eyes glance at the vacant chair. Perhaps, I think to myself, I'll come back to sit on that chair and read. Later. Once I manage to gather my thoughts.

-

The hardest part about being in my shoes is that sometimes, I think there was a mistake. Or maybe Cupid actually played a joke on me, or something. I was standing there, doing my cruddy job, and all of a sudden, there was Tidus. And then BANG! Cupid decided to hit me with his arrow. Who knows, Cupid's probably still around, laughing at my misfortune.

Because I am misfortunate. I drum my fingers on my desk and look at my laptop. I have my e-mail up, and my curser is flashing, as in begging me to type something. But I'm not sure what to say. I want to tell my friends all about what happened today. They wanted to know, after all, how my internship was going. I know I can't tell them about Tidus—they couldn't possibly understand. But that's all I want to talk about. I want to explain to them how amazing it felt, no matter how awkward it was. I want to tell them the wonderful feeling of my eyes meeting his, his eyes which seemed so much brighter and bluer than the last time I had seen them. I want to describe how his hair is just a little shaggier than before. I want to tell them how nice he looked in the plaid shorts he was wearing. I want to tell them that he can wear a polo shirt better than anyone I have ever seen before.

I want to tell them how my heart floated up when my brain realized it was him standing in front of me. I want to tell them that I haven't felt this happy since that hug. That hug that caused me to completely lose it.

Instead, I decide to focus on Baralai. I tell them all about Baralai—how he's younger than what I was expecting, and how I'm not entirely sure how to take him. He was nice and helpful at first, but now? I bite my lip as I type. Well, he seems negative. I decide to leave it at that. I add that I'm having fun, and with that, I write my name, and hit the send button, leaving Tidus out completely.

I don't feel satisfied, though. My stomach churns. I think about Tidus. Baralai has to be wrong about Tidus. And surely Tidus was just shocked to see me and didn't know how to act? I sigh, and decide that the next few days will certainly be more interesting than I was originally thinking.

In the meantime, I know I have to get my mind off of everything. I pull out a book I had just bought and decide to take a trip to that comfortable looking seating area on the staircase.

I walk out of my room, shutting the door behind me, feeling better, actually. I walk swiftly toward the staircase, almost in awe of how good I feel. I think it's finally beginning to hit me—I'm in Zanarkand. Tidus is in Zanarkand. And even though I'm not sure what to think of him, the feeling of knowing that I will hopefully see him soon is—for now, anyway—very pleasing.

I turn to go down the stairs, when I stop. My stomach flips upside down, and the happy, breezy feeling I was just feeling instantly goes away.

Sitting on the very chair that I had been eying just hours ago is none other than Tidus.