Chapter 4
Santana felt that New Years Day called for omelets. Omelets, for someone who had spent practically no time cooking anything ever, were a rather difficult dish. Omelets with a mild hangover were quite a bit harder, especially when it came to being able to read the fine print in the cook book, but she managed. Luckily Ella was perched on a stool at the counter helping her along in her quest.
"Don't put any peppers in Violet's she hates those," Ella advised wisely as she ate the one Santana had failed at earlier. It had too much salt and was pretty burned, but she ate it anyway.
"Oh," Santana said sorrowfully as she looked at the handful she had just dropped in.
Ella laughed, "Don't worry just give that one to mom."
"Right," She said smiling slightly, "Good save. You sure you don't want me to make you a better one?" she nodded to the brown catastrophe she had made earlier.
"This is fine," the girl replied taking another bite.
There was a pause while Santana picked her next words carefully, "You know when you were testing me? Like challenging me about the cereal and stuff, Brittany always looked kind of worried."
Her mouth was full so Ella nodded instead.
"I, erm, the other me, she doesn't hit you or anything does she?" her voice was almost at a whisper.
Ella shook her head and swallowed, "No, mom just knows when I'm starting a fight. She knows Santana gets pissed with me easily and it makes her real sad so if she sees something about to start she breaks it up. She just doesn't want to see us not get along."
"Are you sure that's it?"
"S'what she tells me every time she drags me away," she said and took another mouthful.
Santana nodded feeling a little bit better, "So…tell me about yourself."
Ella gave her a look, "I was always thought that my Santana didn't really like kids, she just put up with them. Are you different?"
"Nope don't like kids, but like the other me I can tolerate them, besides I don't see you as a kid so much as the only person on the planet who believes me."
She nodded, in a, 'Fair enough' manner, "I make good grades and I cause a lot of trouble, but I never get caught."
"Atta girl."
Ella giggled at that, "I like the outdoors and sports and stuff and mom got me into motocross, but she won't let me take lessons till I'm older. I really like alien and monster movies or anything like that."
Explains why you were able to figure this out on your own, Santana thought.
"Violet and I get along okay, but I dunno I guess…" she paused and looked over her shoulder to see if anyone was nearby, "I am a bit jealous of her cause she gets along with mom way easier than I do. I always have to try hard to understand whatever they're doing."
"Have you ever told Brittany any of this?"
She shook her head wildly, "No way!" she whispered sharply, "It would hurt her feelings. She does all kinds of stuff with me, and she works really hard for us to be friends."
Santana gave the girl a good long look, "You really are too smart for your age."
Ella looked embarrassed and continued to eat her omelet in silence.
Brittany and Violet woke at about the same time to the smell of breakfast and filed in, Violet snatched her plate with a rushed 'Thank you!' and dashed to the television to eat. Ella grabbed her plate and followed demanding that they not have to watch Tom and Jerry. Brittany watched them go and smiled at Santana.
"Do you think you two might be getting along again?"
"I don't see why not," she said handing Brittany her plate.
Santana never tired of seeing Brittany's barely controlled joy, she took her plate and gave her a brief kiss before going to join the kids in watching Rocko's Modern Life.
William McKinley High School had been for many years the starting point for all of Santana's hopes and dreams, as in she hoped to leave and dreamed of never coming back. That crumbled down around her as she stood in front of the doors she swore she would never step inside again. Finally accepting her fate she pushed them open and once more Santana Lopez roamed the halls of McKinley.
She wore a button down blouse, khaki pants, and a jacket that didn't look like it was colored by a two year old. Granted sweatpants and a sweater or a tracksuit would have been more appropriate, but one was frumpy and the other was too Sue. From the way that every student in a Cheerios uniform avoided her gaze she really needed to make more distinctions between herself and that woman. To her surprise her old coach's office already had someone in it by the time she arrived. A man, only slightly taller than her, was waiting with a clipboard, he was slim, tan and well toned, he reminded her a lot of Puck. Judging from the way he was dressed he was the gym coach.
"Gawdamn Lopez every time I see you it breaks my heart, you are just way to pretty to be a dyke," he said with a smile.
She had to think fast, either this man was wildly inappropriate or she knew him and this was a joking, in good humor, between pals thing. Given the fear in her students eyes it meant she was known for being a hard ass, if that was the case then he would know not to joke with her unless he knew her well… or maybe he was just stupid…
The answer didn't come soon enough so he clarified for her, "Aw loosen up Santana you know I'm joking! Whut did winter break suck out all yer humor?" he chuckled.
His thick Texan accent amused her more than his words and she cracked a smile, "You wish, so what can I do for you?"
Two eyebrows shot up, "Well aren't we polite? Jest came by congratulate you on coming back after that nasty spill and to drop off the names of some of the athletes that applied to join the team before the break. I only need one QB but there's some fine fellas on this list that might make yer squad really pop."
She had no idea how to respond to this, asking what she could do was too polite… so more rudeness? "Fine I'll look at it later," she said offhandedly as she dumped her sports bag by the desk.
He smiled at her and unclipped the list from the clipboard, "See you on the field Lopez," he said and left.
She took a deep breath only to have panic seep in, she had no earthly idea who that was and the rest of her day was going to be like that. She knew no one on the faculty never mind the students! Then she remembered how she went through most of high school without actually knowing anyone's name, she sort of made them up and since she was an imposter in her own life she had to assume the same was true for other Santana.
It was.
No one expected her to be polite, gracious, or to remember their names though she did go to extreme lengths to figure them out. The students were easy, the roll call solved that problem, the faculty required eaves dropping, glancing at their personal memo's and occasionally slipping a peak at their ID. Normally she wouldn't have bothered, but she really wanted to know who Ms. Novak was. It wouldn't work to walk around asking 'Are you the person I'm having an affair with?' and until she knew what everyone else knew about them she didn't want to look shady asking random people where she was. She was almost overcome with the desire to call Ella's school and ask her what the woman looked like, the only thing that stopped her was the firm belief that the child had been through enough.
During practice she met her head cheerleader, she was a tall, slender black girl called Jamie, she had a kind face and was soft on the eyes, she was also the most vicious task master Santana had ever seen. Her sweet demeanor vanished when it was time to lead the squad, Santana now knew the training regimen that had beaten out Sue's; work the kids even harder doing even more dangerous stunts. It was a little scary since she remembered being worked to the point of contemplating suicide, but they were flawless.
After the last practice of the day she returned to her office and was preparing to return home, full of questions, some for Ella some for Puck, when Jamie stopped her.
"Coach Lopez!" the teen called as she ran carrying a huge cardboard box.
She turned and saw the huge item that was now being handed to her, she took it and looked at Jamie waiting for an explanation, "This is…?" she asked waiting for the girl to finish the sentence.
Again that, 'You should know this.' look, "It's the routines the squad came up with over break." When Santana's face continued to be blank she continued, "You told us to each make a video of a cheer routine and to have it ready on the first day back."
"Over Christmas break?"
Jamie looked worried, "Yes… Nationals is in a few months so you have to pick the three you are going to use by the end of this month so we can start practicing."
The weight of the box told her she had a long month ahead of her, "Okay got it, thank you Jamie, good work."
At the praise the earlier oddness was forgotten and she took off down the hall, Santana reached her office and set the box down by the television. She made them bust their asses over Christmas? Wow. She sighed and looked around the room, it hadn't changed much except all the pictures on the wall were of her current squad and her and the desk had pictures of her family. Smiling at it and subconsciously wishing to see them she slid open the box to see what the damage was. It was filled to the brim with tapes DVD's and flash drives. She groaned, this assignment had clearly gone to the reserve squad as well.
While wrapped up in this she didn't notice someone come in the door, but she became aware when a hand brushed her hair from her face.
Santana yelped and spun around to see a woman, maybe an inch shorter than her with long brown hair, glasses and an outfit that reminded her of Rachel Berry gone cabaret. This had to be Ms. Novak, she had to admit though she could see the temptation, the woman was gorgeous and knew it.
"Santana, I'm glad to see you back," she purred.
She had an accent she couldn't quite place, it sounded a bit Slavic, "Thanks." Mentally she kicked herself. What in the hell was that? Thanks? Idiot!
The woman took a step forward that put her well inside Santana's personal bubble, "I missed you, and you didn't call."
"It was Christmas and I was spending it with my family."
She chuckled at that, "We both know that is a silly excuse."
After one deliberate step backwards she replied, "It's not an excuse. Look I did some thinking over the holidays and I think we should end this," she waved her finger back and forth between them to emphasize her point.
She took another step forward and Santana found herself backed into a wall, "What is this game you are playing with me? I am not familiar with it."
"It's not a game I really want this to stop. I need to focus on my family," she replied with all the confidence a person backed against a wall can have.
"That didn't seem to bother you when we fucked in your daughters' bedroom," Ms. Novak said casually still moving closer.
We WHAT? "You were in my house?" she asked forgetting that she was supposed to know this.
"So this is where you pretend to be the innocent virgin girl who is to be ravaged? I think I pull it off better than you, but no harm in mixing things up."
"Yes this is a game, it's called I Don't Know Who You Are Or Anything About Us."
She rolled her eyes and got close enough to hook her fingers on Santana's pants pulling her closer, "Sounds boring," she said planting a kiss on her neck.
Shuddering Santana spun out of her grasp and placed the desk between herself and her pursuer, "What is your name?"
"Selena Novak and you are to be my prey this evening," she said breathily.
"How long have we been seeing each other?"
She paused, "Two years I suppose. Santana I must say I am not really in the mood for this game after having gone so long without you."
"This isn't a game!" she snapped, feeling more anger at the other Santana than at the woman in front of her, "I am serious Selena this is over! Like right now!"
That seemed to have gotten through, and to her credit she seemed to be truly crestfallen, "Really? Because you came to me with your tales of a wife that frustrates you and children you didn't ask for! I am everything your Brittany is not and you want to just break it off with me suddenly like this?"
Something about this woman saying Brittany's name made her lip curl, "Something like that."
Now she was starting to look furious, "You can't do this Santana, I won't let you treat me like I am not worth your time!"
"I know that's why you've got to go. It's not fair to anyone."
"And you think she'll ever show you what I have? Give you the pleasure I have?"
"Don't remember your pleasure, I know that I love her and I have loved her so much for so long I don't know why I ever tried to stop," she was a little stunned by her own words, how they had come from the part of her heart she had been sure she had squashed.
Selena looked at her in a way that sent a tingle down her spine, it was a dangerous glower, "I see," she said laboriously and marched out of the room.
Santana took a deep calming breath and flopped into her chair, the more she heard about the other her the more she hated her. She was clearly selfish and twisted, but if logic followed they were really the same person. When she thought of it in those terms she could see how it could happen, her need to make rash decisions in anger or jealousy ruined relationships and lives. Back home in Boston she had done despicable things with married men who had children, this was that quality showing itself here. Other Santana, however, didn't seem to understand how being the one with the family changed the game entirely and, by the time she realized it, had gone too far. Selena seemed to have fallen into the same slot Puck had occupied long ago except unlike him she had become rather attached to her or so it seemed. Not that it mattered any more, she had done what other Santana had failed to do. The feeling of accomplishment melted when she saw the box again, then an idea struck her. The box!
She jumped out of her chair pulled the flaps back and dug in, she pulled out every DVD with or without a case or label and stacked them up. One of them could be the very thing that could send her back! Excited she put the first on in the player and waited, there was a slide that named the participants as Mark, Eric, Greg and Katie. It was a cheer routine and a weak one at that, she tried the next one, same story though this routine was much more elaborate. She watched one after the next combining combing through them to find her escape and actually watching them in case there was no exit. At about ten at night she found she was only halfway through the stack and had about thirty more to go. Exhausted she labeled the ones she had seen, marked the ones she liked packed them up and took the box and herself home.
By the time she arrived home the house was silent and dark. She turned on the kitchen light to see a note on the fridge that said:
Meatloaf in the microwave, no worries auntie Q made it.
-El
Santana smiled and moved to the microwave to heat it up, she dialed in two minutes and waited. She heard more than saw Brittany come out of the hallway and come to the counter.
"How was your day?" she asked quietly.
"Pretty good," she mumbled through a yawn, nodding towards the box she continued, "Have alotta videos to review."
"You were really late."
"Sorry I got caught up with all this." She motioned towards the box again, "I'll make it a point to call next time."
"Santana why is there lipstick on your neck?"
Her blood froze, "Huh?" her brain could only laugh hysterically at this major oversight. Other Santana kept this shit hidden for two years, five minutes with her in the hot seat and the jig was up… on the other hand this was Brittany, "Oh this?" she made a point to rub it off while indicating it, "Some of the girls were putting lipstick on their hands to make those little hand face puppets, you know the poor woman's make-out toy, and one of them thought it would be funny to tag my neck with hand lips."
Brittany smiled, "Oh, I bet you made them regret that."
"Boy did I," her brain was now doing a hysterical 'Phew dodged that bullet' laugh.
"Do you want me to help you watch all these videos?" she asked looking in the box.
"Sure, but not tonight I've had enough cheerleading for one day."
She laughed, "That's the first time I've ever heard you say that."
The microwave beeped and she took her meal and ate it while having a pleasant chat with Brittany, though she was completely interested in her wife's explanation of her day Santana's mind was weighing calling Puck now or first thing in the morning. He was the father of four and he worked all day so he would probably be dead asleep and Quinn would murder her for calling that late, but she needed to talk to him badly. In the end she decided to wait, partially because Quinn had picked up her slack and made dinner for her family, but mostly because Brittany had moved to her lap and was making it impossible to even remember what a phone was.
The next morning the whole first four minutes of her phone call to the Puckerman household went something like this:
-Noah! Telephone!
-Mom, look I'm Batman!
-That's nice Caleb. Aaron get off the table! NOAH TELEPHONE!
-I HEARD YOU TWICE THE FIRST TIME QUINN GIMMIE A SEC!
-I HAVE FOUR KIDS TO DRESS FOR SCHOOL I DON'T HAVE A SEC!
-Hey dad! I'm Batman!
-I said I'm getting the phone stop yelling about it!
-That wasn't me that was Caleb you cannot possibly confuse us!
-Haw-Haw Caleb sounds like a girl!
-Mom!
-Joseph leave Caleb alone! Caleb your voice is very manly and you need to get your school clothes on.
-But I'm Batman.
-Mom the phone is off the hook.
-I know Joseph it's for your father.
-Daaaad! Phooooone!
-JESUS! I KNOW ALREADY!
Etc…
"Hello?" came Puck's voice finally.
"Puck it's me, sorry to bug you, but this can't wait."
"No prob, but next time just call my cell."
"I couldn't find that number in my phone."
"Right, memory still an issue then. I was drunk and changed it to 'Knuck if you Puck' so check under the K's. Santana, for real, take the day off and see a doctor."
"No need Puck, I'm fine now, I still need a couple of holes filled in that's all. It's coming back to me," she lied. Ella made her believe her own story, this wasn't her life and since Puck couldn't grasp that it was better just to fake it.
"That's good to hear, so what do you need help with."
"Who in the hell is Selena Novak?"
"A person you need not mess with," he hissed at her in a low voice that hinted there were prying ears nearby.
"I know that now. What do you know about her?"
"She is the school guidance counselor and she's from overseas, that's all I know."
Guidance counselor? What was with this school and picking the most grossly inappropriate people to guide it's youth? "What do you know about us?"
"You don't talk about it, but it's pretty obvious to me that you are playing with fire."
"Not anymore, that's over and done with. Now how in the hell did I hurt my leg?"
"You were challenged to do a new routine you created that a few said couldn't be done, you did it, but it cost you a hairline fracture straight up and down your tibia. You played it off well enough and the move went off without a hitch when Jamie did it, it was even the reason you got the invitation to Nationals. In order to keep the move viable you told everyone you were pushed by someone down a flight of stairs. You torture your squad enough for anyone to believe that though I'm not sure why you didn't just say you fell."
"Why did I confess to you?" she snorted.
"Confess? Who do you think helped you walk out of the gym after your craptastic landing?"
"One more thing do you know who the football coach is?"
"Eric Lad, no worries there, he's a cool guy, we've had a few beers."
"Got it, okay I think I have a handle on what I should know thanks."
"Anytime."
She hung up the phone and watched Brittany load Ella and Violet into the car, she still had a yearning for her penthouse, but looking at the three of them dulled that desire a great deal. The thought bothered her so she doused it and got ready to go to work.
When she was younger, Santana had always assumed teachers lived the most boring lives on the planet. That they came to a dilapidated building and repeated the same words over and over year after year to people who didn't give a crap. That was partially true, but the reality was that it was anything but boring. Someone was always doing something they weren't supposed to, there was an endless mountain of paper work that seemed to be breeding in her office, never mind the essays she'd had Cheerios write on the ways centrifugal force should and should not be used in a routine. In the midst of all this work she wondered how she'd even had time to carry on an affair, the day to day was exhausting.
During lunch she was about to pass out on the table in the teacher's lounge when Eric jolted her out of it by flopping down next to her and bumping the table, "Hey little lady, have I gotta gift for you!"
Her bleary eyes swiveled to him and tried to focus, "Izzit a bed?"
"Why ya got something in mind?" he said suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.
Is he Puck's cousin? Santana didn't have the energy to tell him on how many levels that wasn't going to happen, "What's the gift?"
"Booya!" he exclaimed dropping a DVD case on her desk, the cover of which was a portrait of Sue Sylvester signed by the very same.
"Why on earth would I even want this near me?" she asked sobered up by the image.
"It's her routine for Nationals, my nephew goes to Frankston High and his girlfriend is on the squad, Sylvester is selling signed copies of her 'winning routine' that she plans to beat you with," he said proudly.
Santana picked it up and almost laughed, this was so obviously one of her ploys it was almost sad, "I'll be sure to look at it." She tossed it to the side and prepared to sleep right on the table when another visual splash to the face joined them. Selena Novak.
Good. I need this now. Perfect, she thought acidly.
"Hello Eric," Selena purred.
He childishly waved at her, "Hi."
"Santana, how are you today?" she asked turning her grey eyes onto the now wide awake Latina.
"Fine. Never better really. Got a lot to do so gotta go," she rattled and stood to leave.
Selena stood with her, "There is no rush, there is something I would like to speak with you about."
She was acutely aware that Eric was listening to every word, "I don't have an open slot for a while. Tell you what, Jamie knows my schedule better than I do, talk to her and we can set something up." With that she dashed out of the door, resolved to make herself invisible until the end of lunch.
When classes started again Santana had just taken a half hour nap in the janitor's closet and felt quite refreshed, maybe it was the nap, maybe it was because she successfully dodged another bullet, maybe it was because she now smelled like Pine-Sol. Whatever the reason the second half of the day was a breeze.
She managed to conclude practice on time and got straight to work on grading the essays, in a fit of joy she discovered it was actually Jamie who did most of the work she merely looked over them and decided if anyone's ideas were usable. They finished at about six and Santana packed her things and went home feeling like for the first time she had made it through a day without fumbling. This feeling was still with her as she pulled into her driveway and saw a car she didn't recognize, she wondered who it could be with a little bit of trepidation; what if she was supposed to know this person and had no idea who they were?
Before she could go in and find out for herself the front door opened and there stood Selena; the world felt like it had spun from under her feet.
The guidance councilor sauntered to her and handed her the DVD with Sue on the cover, "You forgot this, and I see now how you kept us secret for so long, she is very dense."
Santana took it with unfeeling fingers her eyes darting to the door, "What did you do?"
The other woman ignored her, got in her car and drove away. Santana dashed inside to find Brittany staring motionless out of the window over the sink.
Carefully she approached trying to figure out what to say, asking about their interaction would sound guilty; should she just act like everything was fine? Clearly it wasn't.
She touched Brittany's shoulder and the other woman jumped, "Santana! You're home," she panted still getting over the shock.
"You okay?" she asked carefully.
"I was just trying to see if the flamingo next door would move if maybe it thought I was an inanimate object. I mean they clearly move at some point."
Santana's eyes flicked to the window where she could see a plastic flamingo in their neighbors front yard, her eyes went back to Brittany, "That's why you were standing here? Did you even know Selena was in the house?"
"Oh yeah! She just left, she had something for you!"
"I got it. Britt did she say anything about… anything?"
A contemplative look went over her face, "She apparently wanted me to know what good friends you are. I'm glad you have someone that makes you feel so good at work."
Relief washed over her, this was Brittany after all, Selena had probably made obvious illusions about their relationship that Brittany, being the trusting person that she was, only took in a platonic capacity.
"Got it, well, I'll get started on dinner okay?"
Brittany nodded and gave the window a fleeting glance as she moved to the living room to straighten it up. When she did Ella slipped into the kitchen, crouched low, and pulled on the hem of her pants. Santana ducked down to where she was.
"Why was that woman here?" Ella asked looking worried.
"I don't know I told her not to bother me anymore, but she came here to tell Brittany about… what happened," she decided not to elaborate on that point.
"Will she come back?"
"I hope not, though honestly I have no idea. I think she might be crazy which is something I really wish someone had told me before I met her."
Ella looked at her suddenly with a sad expression, "Are you still looking for a way to get home?"
"Yes. I have to, this isn't where I belong."
The small girl nodded and handed her something, Santana took it and saw that it was a sky blue bracelet made of beads that spelled her name, "Violet and I made it for you, we were gonna save it until your birthday, but that's is far away and I want you, this version of you, to have it."
There was no amount of rationalization or denial that could cover the fact that she was moved by the gesture. Ella scrambled back around the corner to break up their secret powwow. Santana stood and slipped the bracelet on her wrist, she pulled open cook books to find something she could make all while reminding herself for the millionth time not to get too attached to this place.
Before she knew it a month had passed, then two, then four and she had fallen into a routine that she couldn't help but enjoy. School was manageable ever since Selena had backed off and Jamie made coaching stupid easy, her need to please made it to where Santana never really needed to do anything. Coming home to Brittany was still her favorite part of every day, but she refused to admit that even now. On the weekends she would jog and talk with Puck and occasionally afterwards they would go out drinking with Brittany and Quinn while her mother or Brittany's parents watched the kids. It was a simple life, one she had tried to avoid at all costs, but now that she was living it she found it was nowhere near as bad as she had always feared.
Ella became almost like a partner in crime and would covertly discuss ways to possibly reverse her situation. Everything from recreating the circumstances behind the night she arrived to a crazy plot involving a microwave, barbells and the bathtub. Santana gave each idea, except the more dangerous sounding ones, plenty of thought and even tried a few, but nothing worked. She had even watched every single video in the box Jamie had given her over again and found nothing. Although both she and Ella searched for a solution as time went on they both became less and less enthusiastic about sending her back and after about two months they stopped entirely. Santana reasoned to herself that she was probably just plain stuck here and it was time to just settle in and prepare for Nationals.
She also got to know Violet better, the older girl was, as Puck had said, like Brittany in looks and exuberance, but different in every other way. Violet had an active imagination and for someone like that Brittany was a dream mom, the two of them could go on wild adventures without leaving their seats. Santana learned that she was viciously smart, probably a child prodigy, when it came to math and science, but rarely exhibited it in school, however from time to time she would spout out equations and calculations that were mind blowing. Ella told her that Violet didn't want to skip grades or end up in an advanced class because she liked her friends in her current grade. Santana found the girl to be immensely fun to talk to and always full of facts that, unlike the random wildly incorrect ones Brittany would say, were completely true and far above her grade level.
Santana dedicated her family time to getting Brittany and Ella on the same page, she felt she owed the girl at least that. Even though Brittany's random nature threw her off most of the time she made a point of just going with the flow like Violet would. Ella, in time, learned how to follow Santana's lead and eventually she could be involved a conversation her mother was having without having to feel like a foreigner with no training in the native tongue.
The resentment she had felt in being dropped in this life faded and soon she couldn't help but be completely focused on her work and her family.
On one particular Friday morning as she was making a breakfast of steak and eggs, her phone rang she answered it to hear Puck, and his entire family in the background.
"I SAID DROP THE DAMN IRON! Hello? Santana?"
"I'm here," she laughed.
"Yo Quinn and I are banishing the kids to my mom's tonight, wanna throw your bunch in and make it a double date."
"Where are you going?"
"To see that movie that just came out, Slayers, it looks wicked awesome."
The name sent a chill down her spine, "What's it called?"
"Slayers. You want in?"
"By any chance is Miles Rowan involved with this film?"
"Who your secret billionaire lover?" he snorted, "I don't know, but given the level of the effects on this thing I wouldn't be surprised."
"Sure, Britt and I haven't been to see a movie in" Years… "a while."
"Cool, movie starts at six so you are going to have to book it after practice."
"Can do."
"Alright see you th- I SAID PUT IT DOWN NOT CHASE YOUR BROTHER WITH IT!"
"Who was that?" Brittany asked as she came into the kitchen after Santana hung up.
"Puck, he invited us to see a movie with him and Quinn."
"Slayers? I hope it's Slayers!"
Was she the only one who thought this movie was a ball of suck? "That's the one."
"Can we go?" she asked softly.
"I already agreed, I'll be cutting it close with practice though."
She gave a happy squeak, "I'm so excited, it's going to be amazing."
Santana frowned, "Must be a different movie in this world."
"What?"
She shook her head, "Nothing."
Brittany stood there a while longer watching her cook before she spoke again, "Santana?"
That was the tone she took when she knew she was about to say something she would probably not like, "Yeah Britt?"
"I was wondering if maybe you had thought some more about another baby?"
The crisp sizzling of cooking meat was the only sound that could be heard for a long moment, "I hadn't really, but I mean… I think it would be kind of nice."
Brittany rewarded her with one of her smiles that made Santana's heart feel warm, "Really?"
"We would have to do a little work with the budget, but yeah I'm okay with it."
She found herself wrapped in a hug almost instantly and had to do some crafty juggling to keep the food from ending up on the floor.
Santana went through her day a little dazed, her brain was trying to grasp that she had agreed to be a parent. Being thrown into this situation was one thing, but she had just deliberately accepted the role of parent in a female/female relationship and had no intention of taking it back. It was beginning to sink in that at the bottom of all the excuses and explanations was a woman who loved another woman, she couldn't logically shove this on other Santana, this was her. Her love and lust for Brittany, her love of their children and her desire to have more. It was all her, the person who lived in Boston with a man she didn't care for in a house that was as empty as her heart, that person had been given something wonderful and she couldn't pretend she didn't want every bit of it anymore. It was too late to try and talk herself out of getting too attached, it had happened long ago. She glanced at the bracelet on her wrist and at her name that was spelled out on the block shaped beads, she was madly in love with this life.
Her introspection went unnoticed though she did make sure to shout the occasional insult to keep up appearances. Thanks to Jamie they finished practice right on time and Santana couldn't help but feel smug about how amazing the routine was. She also saw Jamie perform the move that had wrecked her leg, it was maneuver where they stacked themselves eighteen feet in the air then the Cheerio at the top jumps into a forward tumble spinning seven times before landing, on one foot, in the front center. Pure insanity. Why in the hell had she tried it? Pride no doubt.
She said goodbye to everyone and dashed to her office for her bag, she opened her door and saw the last person she ever wanted to see sitting on her desk.
"Selena. What are you doing in my office?" Santana asked warily.
The other woman shrugged casually, "I came to congratulate you on a sterling performance, I saw your practice."
What is she going to try and blackmail me by threatening to leak my routine? Weak. "You just did now it's time for you to go."
"Santana I have given you space, plenty of space. That was what this was about right?"
"Wha… No it was about me being through with you!"
"We both know that is not going to happen."
"Are you an idiot? I am telling you it is!"
Selena looked at her with an expressionless stare, "Fine then," she stood and walked within arm's reach of Santana who was ready to ward off any advances, but the one that happened.
Santana's look of shock as the needle was plunged in her neck melted away as did the feeling in her limbs. Selena watched her fall to the floor, her face still emotionless, "The hard way then."
Floating, she was floating on clouds made of soft. This was wonderful. Every worry, every care was gone, they were lost in the soft clouds. She could see others here with her, Puck and Quinn actually the whole Glee club; the last place she had been happy before being thrown in a whole different reality. Even Rachel Berry was there, and her mouth wasn't running, that was nice. Then she saw Brittany and this nice floaty place got even nicer. She was drawn to her like a magnet, Santana wrapped her arms around her and kissed her, in front of everyone, for the first time in her life not caring who saw, if it mean accepting the lesbian label then so be it. Label away because she loved this woman too much to let go. Brittany kissed her back and boldly ripped her shirt open, Santana supposed she should have been embarrassed, but she knew her body was nothing to be ashamed of, though the floaty feeling was leaving and she was feeling far more grounded. Then she was aware of the ground, no more floaty clouds of soft, they vanished. As did the Glee club, but Brittany stayed. Though the ground was present and her eyes seemed to be taking only actual real data now her brain was still fuzzy, so there were a few important connections that were made late. The main one was how odd it was that she was looking at Brittany across the room and making out with her laid out on her desk at the same time, another was how off the kiss was from the Brittany that was nearest her. This Brittany wasn't doing anything for her really. Then it struck her that one of them wasn't Brittany, then her memory of what had just happened slapped her in the face.
She jerked away from the person on top of of her, it was Selena who was currently wearing a wicked smile and at the door was Brittany, the real one, looking hurt and horrified. She looked down at herself and as she feared her shirt was ripped open. She looked back at her wife in the hopes of transmitting her innocence somehow but Brittany turned and ran away looking absolutely stricken.
Santana scrambled out from under her captor, jumped off the desk on wobbly legs and fell to the ground, she could hear Selena laughing at her from above, "Well maybe she gets the picture now. Took her long enough, I called her here to come and get you half an hour ago."
Anger spurred Santana to stand and slam Selena down onto the desk, forearm pressed into the shorter woman's throat, "Don't you ever come near me or my family again or I SWEAR I will fucking murder you! I am not even slightly kidding when I say what I will do to you will make your mother cry!"
The old vengeful, violent Santana had emerged and Selena could see in her eyes she meant it, she nodded as best she could and was immediately released.
Santana turned to try and run after Brittany, but the world was still spinning, the floor was zig zagging all over the place and the walls were doing the wave. She stumbled to the parking lot, then to her car and locked herself inside, as much as she wanted to chase Brittany she knew she couldn't drive like this. She glanced at the car's clock, it was ten; great on top of it all she had stood Brittany up at the movies, this was looking worse every second. She knew she had to get home, but the world was swimming. Maybe if I just rest for a moment, she thought before she tilted her head back and closed her eyes; she fell sound asleep immediately, it was the worst sleep she ever had.
After what seemed like years of the worst nap ever, she jerked awake and looked at the clock. Midnight. Shocked she looked around and saw her car was the only one left in the parking lot.
"Fuck!" she snapped and took off.
Never had she missed her Ferrari more than when she was trying to race home along the empty streets of Lima in a Honda. A good fifteen minutes later she peeled into the driveway, leapt out of the car and was about to burst in the door when it opened on its own and Puck came out.
She ignored him and tried to get inside but he blocked her, "Santana..."
"Don't Santana me Puckerman! Move!"
"She doesn't want to see you right now," he said softly.
"I know because she's got the wrong idea."
"I warned you about Selena-"
She spun on him angrily, "You warned me not to fool with her you never warned me that she was a psychotic bitch who would drug and molest me!"
"What?"
She showed him the needle mark on her neck, "That chick is batshit crazy! I didn't do anything, I have got to tell her that!"
"Look Quinn is in there with her right now, regardless of what happened she's really hurt. I get what you are saying, but now just isn't the time."
"I thought we were cool Puck!"
"We are!" he said clearly torn between doing what he had been told and helping a friend, "But Brittany doesn't want to see you now and if I let you in not only will you get nowhere but BOTH of those chicks will be pissed at me. I know it sucks! I know, but you gotta trust me on this, give her time to cool off and I swear I will get her to sit down and talk to you."
Santana ruffled her hair in frustration, Puck tried to hold her, but she shoved him away from her backing towards her car, "This is why I live by myself in Boston with a man I never see!" she yelled not caring who heard, "This is why I told her to fuck off at prom! Because this shit hurts too much! This is exactly what I built my life to avoid! I don't want this!" Now she was sobbing and she hated herself for it.
She yanked her car door threw herself inside and drove recklessly away, Puck watched her hoping she didn't do anything foolish before he could get Brittany calm again.
A/N: Just so you know I work three jobs on weekends with precious little time in between and instead of sleeping I have been getting this ready for consumption . Really hope you enjoyed it cause man am I tired. Thanks a ton for the reviews I read each and every one! Keep em coming cause I should warn you I have been known to get lazy -.-