Author's Note: I wanted to thank all my reviewers, first of all. It's a great motivation to keep writing when I know people are enjoying the story. And specifically, JJC asked for some clarification on the situation with Nathan and Haley. It will become more clear in future chapters and I don't wan to give too much of it away, but a big part of their problem is a lack of communication and that they assume they know each other well enough to know what the other's thinking when they really don't have an idea. And yes, there's definitely an issue of pride on both sides, as well as confusion. In a way, it's like a massive fight of sorts where neither wants to be the first to back down, even though they aren't entirely sure why they're fighting anymore. I hope that clarifies things a little.
Chapter Four.
After Nathan had left and she'd double checked to make sure James was actually asleep, Haley had retired to the bedroom she'd once shared with Nathan. It hadn't really changed much since he'd left, and she hadn't washed his pillow covers. Even though she knew it would seem lame to anyone who found out, smelling Nathan on the pillows comforted her while she was trying to get to sleep.
They'd been together so long that she found it difficult to exist on her own. She'd taken it for granted for quite a while that Nathan would always be next to her in bed, that they'd share breakfast every morning as they exchanged newspaper sections.
It was too early for her to go to bed, so instead she turned her attention to updating the scrapbook she'd been keeping for James. She'd recently had pictures developed from a visit to her sister, Taylor's house that she had to add.
Taking a moment to flip through the pages before getting to work, Haley paused on the fourth page, smiling as she saw one of her favorite montages. James was only two and a half months old at the time, and Nathan and Haley had decided to take him camping before college started. The trip had been perfect, especially given that they didn't have a lot of money to toss around for a vacation back then.
Haley ran her fingers over the pictures as she remembered, smiling a little. Her favorite of the photos was a small series of Nathan holding James against his chest as he lied in a hammock, eventually falling asleep like that.
At the time, she'd been incredibly upset with Nathan. They were still new parents back then, so all she could think about was what would've happened if Nathan had dropped James while he was asleep. It hadn't mattered to her back then that he hadn't. In her mind, it was all the same.
"Hales, look, he's perfectly okay. For God's sake, he's asleep. I don't think his life flashed before his eyes or anything."
Haley glared at Nathan, glancing down at James for a second. What Nathan was saying was true- their son looked peaceful in his sleep, but that didn't change what she'd witnessed. It didn't change the fact that Nathan had slipped up and it could've cost James his life. "Do you know how dangerous that was? He was just laying on your chest, Nathan! You weren't even holding him! He could've fallen, and then- God, Nathan, his life is too short to even flash before his eyes at this point. It would just be a flicker."
Nathan sighed, running his hand through his hair in frustration. "Hales, you know I wouldn't dream of hurting him. But he's okay. I won't fall asleep like that again, I promise. He's okay, Hales…"
He moved in to hug her, but Haley pulled away quickly, angrily wiping at a tear starting to fall from the corner of her eye. "What if something had happened though, Nathan? He's so little, and while a two foot fall wouldn't be a big deal for us, he's not even two feet tall."
Nathan moved quicker this time, pulling her into his arms before she had a chance to duck away, running his fingers through her hair in a comforting gesture. "He's alright, Hales. You're a great mother, alright? And James- James is okay. He's healthy and he's a happy little baby, and he's alright."
Haley was tense at first, but Nathan's embrace proved too much for her. She whimpered, burying her face against his chest and letting herself cry. "I'm just so scared, Nathan. He's so small, and I'm scared we're going to mess up, that I'm going to."
"I know, Hales. So am I. But we're bound to make mistakes- we just have to try to make them as minor as possible, you know?"
She sighed, flipping the pages in the scrapbook to the first blank page, shaking her head. There were a lot of things she'd take back now if she could. Unfortunately, life didn't allow rewinds or do-overs.
She slipped the new pictures out of their envelope, flipping through them slowly. The trip to Taylor's had been the last real family outing they'd had. It was only four days before she kicked Nathan out.
She'd thought at the time that she was doing a good job faking happiness, but looking at these pictures it was pretty clear that hadn't been the case. Her smile was tense, and she looked stiff in the picture where Nathan had his arm around her shoulder.
She stared at it for a minute, trying to remember when Nathan's embrace had gone from comforting to unbearable. She couldn't. It had been one of those things that happened gradually, a little at a time. And one morning, she'd woken up realizing there was no use in pretending anymore.
----
Brooke could honestly say she wasn't surprised when Paolo got up to use the bathroom and never returned. He was always telling her she had to face her fears and live up to her past, and while she usually agreed, this really wasn't such a case. Now that it was just her sitting there with Peyton and Lucas, she really felt like a third wheel.
Lucas had done his best to keep her involved in the conversation, though, but she wasn't really sure if that was a good thing. She couldn't exactly politely excuse herself in the middle of a conversation. They'd started reminiscing about high school, though, which definitely made her uncomfortable.
"Even now, some of the best parties I ever went to were in high school," Lucas told the girls, taking a sip of the beer he'd ordered as he glanced around. "Peyton, do you remember that graduation party- I think it was Fergie's- where Junk brought that weird girl from Duke?"
Brooke sighed, glancing down at the table's surface. She hadn't been to that party, of course. Fergie was a friend of Lucas', and she'd already become a nobody to him by that point. She toned out that part of the conversation until something perked her ears.
"Hey, Brooke, do you remember that party our junior year?" Peyton was asking, "It was Haley's first party, and I got into that crazy fight with Nikki-"
"Yeah, I remember," Brooke murmured, taking a deep breath. "Because it was my fault Nikki was there, remember? I wasn't invited because Haley thought my presence would make Lucas uncomfortable."
Silence. After a minute, Lucas cleared his throat and said softly, "Um, yeah, that whole situation was… messy."
Brooke let out a dry laugh, unable to hold it in. "Messy?" She glanced over at Peyton and then looked back to Lucas, biting her lip. "Guys… we're adults. High school… basically sucked. Why don't we put it behind us?"
Peyton agreed quickly, consulting her watch. "Shoot. Guys, I have to get going. I have a meeting with the funeral home early tomorrow and I still have some stuff to take care of before bed, so…" She trailed off with a shrug, standing up and tossing some money on the table. "So, uh, see you guys later."
Brooke arched an eyebrow but didn't say anything, surprised that Peyton and Lucas weren't acting all coupley. Shaking off the thought, she gave Peyton a small wave before turning her attention to Lucas. She definitely didn't want to sit here having a one on one conversation with him. "I should probably go, too…"
Lucas nodded, taking out his wallet and putting some money on the table. "Here, I'll walk you home. I'm headed in that general direction, anyway. I told Nathan I'd go visit him tonight."
Brooke froze, forcing herself to nod as she took out some money to cover her own portion of the food.
"Don't worry about it," Lucas said quickly, gesturing to the cash he'd thrown down already. "I put down more than enough. Plus, I think being the owner's son gives me the privilege of saying it's on the house, anyway."
Brooke nodded, giving him a hesitant smile and pushing out her chair to get up, resigning herself to walking home with him.
----
Upon returning home, Peyton kicked off her shoes and collapsed backwards onto the couch, unable to believe what a rollercoaster her day had been. On a whim, she decided to check the home answering machine to see if the funeral home director or life insurance companies had called, but instead she was greeted to a much more familiar and friendly voice.
"Hey, Peyton, it's me… Jake, if you didn't get that. Uh, I know you're back in Tree Hill, and when I tried your cell phone it was giving me some weird message, so I figured I'd try this number. If it isn't yours now and- oh, God, if I'm leaving a long rambling message on someone else's answering machine, I'm really sorry. See, there's this girl I've known since high school and I'm trying to get in touch with her to let her know I'm thinking about coming up to Tree Hill with my daughter for a visit, but she doesn't really like surprises so I wanted to let her know first, and… yeah, I'm rambling again. So, uh, to Peyton or whoever gets this message, have a good night!"
Peyton laughed as the answering machine beeped, stretching out so she could grab the phone without having to get up. She dialed Jake's number quickly, having memorized it due to all the years she'd been in Savannah, flipping onto her stomach as she waited for someone to answer.
"Hello."
Peyton smiled as she heard Jenny's voice on the other end. "Hey, Jenny, can I talk to your father, please?"
"May I ask who I'm speaking to?" came the polite response, and Peyton had never failed to be amazed by the quiet eight-year-old's manners.
"It's Peyton, Jenny."
"Oh, Peyton!" Jenny's voice sounded almost gleeful, and it definitely made Peyton's smile widen. "Yeah, hold on! I'll go get Daddy right now." Peyton heard the phone drop and little footsteps running off into the distance, and then silence.
A minute later, the phone was picked up again. "Hey, Peyton," came the laidback voice of Jake Jagielski, who'd quickly become Peyton's closest friend down in Savannah.
"Hey, Jake. I got your message. And yeah, I think it's a great idea for you guys to come up. I thought you were busy, though?" Peyton sat up a little, trying to remember what Jake had told her when he had said he couldn't make her father's funeral.
"Yeah, well, those plans fell through and the paper decided to go in a different direction, anyway, so I don't have to oversee anything," Jake explained before covering the mouthpiece and saying something Peyton couldn't understand, obviously to Jenny.
Peyton nodded, even though Jake couldn't see her. It was a strange habit, probably since at one point she would've had a webcam in front of her when talking on the phone. "Alright… yeah, I'd love to see you. I'd love for you to be at the service, but I understand if you can't, with Jenny and all."
"Yeah… Jenny's going to bed now, so we can leave bright and early tomorrow morning… aren't you, Jenny?" Peyton could barely hear a 'yeah!' in the background. "So, anyway, Peyt, how's your return been so far?"
Peyton laughed, wondering if Jake even realized what a loaded question that was, and drew her knees up to her chest, settling in for a long chat with him, which had become tradition over the past few years. "Oh, Jake, you'll never believe it…"
----
The walk from Karen's Café to the residential area of Tree Hill was much longer than Lucas remembered it being, or maybe it just felt that way. Being unable to keep a conversation going with Brooke certainly didn't help.
They hadn't spoken in over five years, and Lucas was all too aware that was his fault. He'd had a lot of time to reflect on it, after all, and to say he was ashamed of how he'd treated her as a teenager was putting it very mildly. "So…" he started, just as she started talking as well.
"So how are you and Peyton doing? You guys seemed pretty happy tonight," Brooke pointed out, glancing at Lucas out of the corner of her eye before looking away.
"Me and Peyton?" Lucas repeated in confusion, scratching the nape of his neck as he tried to figure out what she meant. "Peyton and I aren't together, not really. I mean we're friends, but we ended a while ago. Years ago, actually."
Brooke looked at him doubtfully, shaking her head a little. "You and Peyton don't end," she pointed out after a minute, rolling her eyes. "If anyone knows that, it's me. You have this weird cyclical thing going on. You'll probably be dating again by the end of the week."
Lucas was shocked by how casually Brooke spoke of his relationship with Peyton. He'd never felt like she'd fully accepted it, but maybe he was wrong. Brooke always had been a better person than he gave her credit for, in every possible way. "Nah, I don't think so," he said finally, considering what she'd said. He'd always love Peyton, but he didn't think it was really romantic anymore. And even if he did have feelings for her, she was surely over him. "What about you and Paolo?"
Brooke laughed, bringing her hand to her mouth. "Paolo and I… definitely aren't together. He's my assistant and he's an amazing friend, but we aren't dating."
"Oh. My mom said you'd mentioned a boyfriend," Lucas said without thinking about it, wincing after the words were out of his mouth.
Brooke stopped walking, glancing up at him and cocking her head to the side, shooting him a small smile. "You talk to your mom about me?" she asked, genuinely surprised. "Well, wonders never cease, I guess."
Lucas shrugged, glancing over at her as they walked on. "Yeah… I guess not." He paused, averting his gaze and looking down the road, adding stoically, his voice quiet, "Just because we fell out of touch doesn't mean I stopped wanting you to be happy, Brooke."
Brooke paused, clearing her throat, but Lucas could tell she was a little shaken by his words. "I never wanted you to be miserable, either," Brooke admitted after a minute.
"And God knows you had plenty of reason to," Lucas muttered.
----
"Mommy?"
Haley jumped a little as she heard James' voice. He'd been waking up a lot during the night lately, and nothing she tried to do seemed to help. She finished brushing her teeth quickly, washing the toothpaste out of her mouth and turning to look at James as she wiped her mouth. "Yeah, baby?"
"Can I come cuddle with you? I had a bad dream and now I can't get back to sleep." James stuck out his bottom lip in a dramatic pout, turning his face up to look at Haley.
Haley sighed, crouching down to give James a kiss on the top of his head. "Yeah… yeah, of course you can. Go jump into my bed and I'll be there in a couple minutes, okay?"
James nodded and ran out of the bathroom, leaving Haley to stare at her reflection in the mirror. She'd been feeling crappy all day, which she'd written off to the stress of having Nathan over and finding out James had been causing problems in school. But now that the dinner was over and she didn't feel even mildly better, she was starting to wonder if it was something else, something that would cause a much bigger problem than a bug.
Taking a deep breath, she rummaged through her vanity drawer for the pregnancy test she'd bought a few months ago but hadn't had to use, and set it out on top of the vanity so she'd remember to take it in the morning.
Like she could really forget.