Sweet. Ice cream. Twenty-four bizarre but sinfully delicious sounding flavors made fresh on the premises. And Kurt was really hoping that he could sample a few - if not all.
He felt like a traitor when he finally held a cup of it in his hands and tasted it. His taste buds exploded, and he closed his eyes, allowing the cold, creamy, sugary goodness to melt on his tongue. There was an ice cream shop under the Brooklyn Bridge that he and Blaine had discovered and decided was their new favorite place in the city - the milkshakes were divine - , but with each spoonful, he realized that LA was turning him.
The challenge required the designers to pick a flavor supplied by the little ice cream shop by the beach and create a design based on it. Kurt approached his designers who had taken over a bench by the walk. As they sat sketching, he figured it was his time to step in and see how he could help guide them.
With a cup of nearly devoured chocolate, marshmallow, and bacon ice cream in one hand, Ruby was sketching furiously, and Kurt didn't want to interrupt her creative process, so he moved on to Sam who seemed a little less sure of himself.
"Hey," Kurt began, and Sam looked up. "What have you got so far?"
"I really want to play with the colors, so I was thinking about this short, flowy dress with this detail here," Sam tapped his pencil on the page, pointing out a spot where the fabric seemed to be draped, "and a few here to imitate the toppings." His shoulders slumped as he looked at Kurt. Kurt didn't understand why the kid seemed so unsure of himself. His construction could use some work, but he had good ideas.
"I think you have something good here, Sam. It has a lot of potential," Kurt said, studying the color palette, browns for the chocolate, whites and creams for the vanilla, and shades of pink for the fresh strawberry sauce that was drizzled on top of Sam's sundae of choice.
"Thanks. I just need to get to Mood and sorta feel it out, ya know?"
Kurt nodded. "Yeah. Just try to stay focused." Sam nodded in reply, adjusted his glasses, and then went back to sketching.
Kurt moved down the line to where Marco was seated, spooning the last bit of salted fudge ice cream with caramel into his mouth.
"Oh, Kurt," he began, "how do you feel about this?" He pointed to the collar of the shirt in his sketch.
"Is that -?" Kurt squinted, trying to make out what he thought might be a hood.
"It's a hood."
Of course, Kurt thought. "Can I make a suggestion?"
"Sure," Marco said.
"Don't. I mean, the rest of your sketch is intriguing, but adding a hood is just too much. It doesn't look right to me," Kurt said, figuring that honesty would give him the best chance of winning.
"Alright. I'll make some changes," Marco responded. "Thank you."
"Did you need any help, Viola?" Kurt asked. She always seemed like she was in another world, but while she sat designing, she looked on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She was the designer he hadn't expected to get, and he still wasn't sure how to handle her.
"I'm making a three-piece suit to represent the three parts of the rainbow sherbet," she explained. "That's my favorite. And I know it's ambitious, but I got the idea and now I can't get it out of my head."
Kurt swallowed hard. "That's fine. Just do yourself a favor and don't over complicate it. You only have a day to complete this challenge, and losing you in the beginning would suck," he said bluntly.
"I promise, I'll do my best," Viola said, placing her hand over her heart. "I don't want to let you down."
Kurt stepped back, took a deep breath, and finally approached Ruby who seemed to be making final tweaks to her sketch. He made his way over to her and sat down beside her on the bench. She looked up with a grin and moved a piece of hair from out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.
"So, I came up with this." She held up the sketch, and Kurt's eyes grew wide.
"Wow, um, i-it's," he stuttered. "Breathtaking." It was just a sketch, but Kurt was seriously blown away by Ruby. Beginning with the collar of the jacket, Kurt's eyes scanned the sketch, shifting rapidly from one detail to the next, the colors and design directing the eye in the most aesthetically pleasing way. If it hadn't been designed for a woman, Kurt would wear it in a heartbeat, not that that had stopped him in the past with fashion choices.
"Oh god I'm so glad you think so. I was so worried."
"Don't be. Ever. Always go with your gut. I have no criticism for your work. I completely trust you with the execution on this one," he said.
She was too humble for her own good, he thought. Kurt didn't believe that he had to look out for Ruby, but he hoped that by the end of the competition, and she would make it to the end, she would recognize the extent of her talent and gain the confidence she deserved to have.
-s-
It was strange being on the other side of the wall. Kurt saw more of Isaac and Amanda than any of the designers. And not being in the workroom was difficult for him because Kurt needed to be hands-on. His fingers moved on their own accord, drumming against his leg. He wondered if this was how it felt to be the boss. He was, the boss that is, but he couldn't imagine getting so big that he no longer had any part in executing his own designs. That just wasn't him.
Tim Gunn entered the lounge. "Are you guys ready to visit the workroom?"
"You have no idea," Kurt said, rising from the couch.
Amanda laughed. "He's been twitching like a fiend. Just let him touch fabric already."
Kurt narrowed his eyes at her. Isaac sighed - or yawned...Kurt couldn't tell. But it became apparent that Isaac wanted nothing to do with Amanda either.
Accompanied by Tim Gunn for moral support and general guidance, Kurt made his way around the room to meet with his mentees.
Marco's look was really coming along. He ended up choosing to do a casual blazer over a skinny pant, and Kurt had very few criticisms. When he moved on to Ruby, his eyes lit up. Seeing her design come to life like it had actually gave him chills, and he walked away with a broad grin still plastered on his face. Next was Viola, and Kurt was pleasantly surprised when he saw how much she had completed in so little time. On top of that, he actually really liked her design. She just needed to focus on finishing and cleaning up the hemlines. Sam was the final designer in his lineup, and Kurt approached the half-clad dress form on which he was working.
"It's very ready-to-wear, I think," Kurt said, his hand at his chin as he continued to examine the look.
"Thank you," Sam said. "It's kinda what I was going for. Something that you might actually see someone wearing on the beach while they ate ice cream."
"I like it. It's simple, but it's chic."
"And it has pockets!" he said with a knowing nod.
"Well, in that case." Kurt laughed. "You better get to work. You have the least complete out of the team, so just try to finish up. From this point on, just go with your gut," Kurt said, realizing it was the second time that day he had used that phrase. He needed a better catchphrase if he aspired to be like the next Tim Gunn, he thought. He'd have to work on that.
As Kurt walked away from his designers and exited the workroom with the other mentors, he felt his chest swell with pride.
-s-
Once again, the Project Runway judges managed to completely baffle Kurt and make him question if maybe he was the one who was missing something. He really hadn't seen any issue with Sam's look, but there he stood in the bottom three at risk for elimination.
And with a resounding, "out", Kurt officially lost his first mentee.
With the elimination over, Kurt stood in his hotel room, arms wrapped around himself, staring out the window in attempt to clear his head. Old habits die hard, he thought. Knowing that he had already lost a designer was a hit to his ego. He had believed in all of them, but perhaps his judgment was flawed. He had to keep reminding himself that this was Project Runway, after all. Sometimes the judges' decisions seemed completely illogical.
The hotel room suddenly felt too small, and he couldn't stay inside any longer. The slight breeze through the window wasn't enough, and he needed fresh air. When he felt this way at home, he would take a stroll around the block or walk down to the bakery on the corner to calm his nerves. It was still early enough, and the sun hadn't set yet. So he stepped out.
How he found himself at the water again, he had no idea. He had been keen to hop buses around town, but after about an hour, he was in Santa Monica, taking in the view of the Pacific Ocean, the palm trees swaying in the warm breeze. The sun was just about to dip over the horizon and sink, bringing on night.
At that moment, the words of a song he was quite fond of came to mind. Kurt Hummel couldn't stay cooped up, "looking out of the window, staying out of the sun..." This was freedom.
As he watched the sunset, Kurt pulled his phone out of his pocket, wanting nothing but to hear Blaine's voice. He needed to vent, but right now he felt serene and knew that Blaine would only soothe him further.
He began to walk toward the water as the phone rang through, absentmindedly making his way to the pier. Then Blaine picked up.
"Kurt," he said upon answering, and Kurt could hear a smile in his voice.
"Hey there," Kurt said quietly.
"How did the first real challenge go? It was today, right?"
"Yeah. It was okay, but -"
"But what? Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, but one of my mentees already got eliminated."
"I'm so sorry, babe. That isn't - you know you had no control over it," Blaine said.
"Yes and no. Just because I had no direct control over the situation and the decision doesn't mean I don't feel responsible. I really believed he had a good design. I didn't give him any suggestions, just told him to go with his gut, and, well..."
"It happens, Kurt. It's only the beginning, and I know you're amazing. You've got this. I believe in you."
Kurt chuckled. "You're biased," he joked. "I think there would be a problem if my husband didn't believe in me."
"C'mon, Kurt. Don't be like that," Blaine said.
"I'm sorry. I know. I am awesome at what I do. I guess it was just a bit of bad luck early in the game. Just doesn't help morale any, but I've picked myself back up from worse."
There was a brief moment of silence and then a sigh on Blaine's end.
"Don't overthink it too much," Blaine said.
"I try not to. Talking to you really does make everything better," Kurt said.
"I'm proud of you, Kurt. Remember that it's just a competition. It doesn't make or break who you are."
"Thank you, Blaine." Kurt gripped the cool metal of the railing with his free hand and leaned forward.
"Where are you by the way? There's a lot of noise in the background."
"I'm on the pier in Santa Monica. It's lovely out here. The ocean is just so...peaceful. I would say romantic, but it just feels lonely without you here by my side," Kurt said.
"I think it's so crazy that you're on the opposite end of the continent. I always wondered if the Pacific Ocean was any more magnificent than the Atlantic," Blaine said.
"It might just have to do with the unfamiliarity of it, but there's definitely something magical about how the sunset reflects off the water," Kurt said, his eyes watching the waves roll in and then retreat. He could hear the gentle roar of the water beneath the pier as it slapped against the sturdy columns holding up the walkway.
"I can imagine," Blaine said softly.
"I wish you didn't have to. Believe me, I could go on and on about missing you and wishing you were here like the cliche of a homesick man separated from the love of his life, but that won't change the situation. And at least the situation is a good one and very temporary."
"I know I already said it, but I'm so proud of you, Kurt."
Kurt took a deep breath, closing his eyes and breathing in the salty sea breeze, and then exhaled.
"Me too. And I've never been happier than I am knowing that you'll always be there to welcome me home."