Authors Note: You guys are simply amazing. This is my first story and the number of alerts I have is simply stunning. You all make me smile so much.
Sorry for the wait – I was on holiday.
Hope you all enjoy this chapter.
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Chapter 3
E POV
"What's wrong?" Jessica irritated me just by opening her mouth. Normally that wouldn't be a problem but right now words were coming out of it and I couldn't get my dick to function so I could fill it.
She was getting frustrated; whinging that her knees were hurting and she kept asking what was wrong with me.
Like I fucking knew.
"Jess stop." I pushed lightly against her arms.
She looked up at me all exasperated and squinty, looking all confused. It wasn't attractive. Bella was gorgeous when she was confused. The way the corners of her eyes would crinkle and how her lips parted ever so slightly. Gorgeous.
Fuck.
I grabbed at my hair.
Bella's just a girl. Just tits and ass and skin and bones.
Just like Jessica.
So why did it only take a kiss for Bella to get me hard but Jessica is rubbing and licking and doing all kinds of shit down there and I can't get it up.
That just doesn't happen to me.
I must just be tired or stressed. Maybe I'm drunk?
Jessica sighed again. She was doing my head in.
"Is this about Bella?"
Yes, I think it is. Shit.
"What?" I growled.
"She looked kinda crushed when she opened to door to me. Poor girl. Did you break her heart? Stupid little girl. You know she stole Mike attentions from me, she's not even pretty." She cooed as she tried to reach into my jeans.
"Get off." I growled again. She looked a little pissed off.
Good.
She doesn't get to talk about Bella like that.
Bella's nice, Jessica is a whore.
A whore who was not going to offer her services to me tonight, I assumed as she picked up her coat and slammed my door on her way out.
I flopped back onto the bed and mentally smacked myself.
Bella wasn't meant to see Jessica. I'd called Jessica this afternoon; as soon as I knew I would be spending the evening Bella I knew I'd have to relieve the tension and there was no way I was doing it myself again. I'd practically sprained my wrist the amount of times I'd been jacking off to the thought of Bella this week.
Spending hours with her everyday. Looking at her. Brushing against her.
It was torture.
I wasn't going to deny it. I was attracted to Bella. I was more attracted to her than I had ever been to anyone else, ever before.
I wanted her physically but I couldn't have her because she was my friend and I couldn't offer her anything but that. There was no way she'd want just the physical side of a relationship because, well, she's Bella. Good, sweet, innocent Bella.
Same boyfriend for two years, never been drunk, never smoked, never taken drugs, never had sex.
I'm not really sure why I know all this but Alice does like to share.
Bella's everything I'm not.
She's good, I'm bad,
She's loving, I'm cold-hearted.
She's an angel, I'm Satan.
I shouldn't have let her kiss me but I wanted, I needed to feel her lips against mine. I needed to be disappointed by the kiss, to feel nothing but I felt everything. Every pore tightened, every nerve vibrated and every movement of her lips on mine drove me wild with a desire for more.
I had to feel it again.
The tightening. The vibration. The desire.
I'd never felt it before.
Now I craved it.
The door to my room slammed open and Emmett came pounding through.
That door was going to break if it got slammed much more.
"What did you do?"
"You're going to have to be a little more specific than that Emmett."
"Bella." He growled. His eyes were tight.
"We went through our Biology and ate a couple of cakes, we listened to some music and then she left." I left out the kiss, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the threatening stance that Emmett held.
"When she came downstairs she looked upset. I doubt anything happened between your bedroom and the living room that made her almost cry so what did you do?"
"Did you consider that maybe she tripped? She's clumsy as hell."
"Edward-"
I could tell that he wasn't going to leave it alone so I cut him off.
"I really don't know Emmett. Maybe it has something to do with that dick Jacob."
Just the mention of the guy that had broke up with Bella set Emmett off on a different tangent. He was still seething that Jake had the audacity to give her a crappy reason like 'they were growing apart.' I didn't quite believe Bella when she said that but I wasn't going to push the issue.
Emmett finally emerged from his rant and looked at me.
"I know you're trying to be Bella's friend now Edward." He smiled at me. "It's really good. You need to want other people close to you."
If only he knew how close I wanted her.
His smile turned threatening.
"But I remember what you said – you said if you're her friend, you'll want more and I swear to God if you hurt her I won't hesitate to break your legs Edward. She's like my little sister. She will not be one of your playthings." Emmett hissed at me.
"I think I can control myself around her." I smirked at him but I didn't know if I was telling the truth or whether that was the biggest lie I'd ever told.
Emmett grinned at me again, grabbing a cake off my desk and spun around to leave.
"Don't slam the door!" I yelled as the door resounded against the frame.
Emmett, being the hilarious soul that he is, grabbed the door handle and repeatedly swung it open and closed.
Slam.
Slam.
Slam.
Laugh.
"Thanks Em."
I woke up on Friday morning at full mast.
Fantastic.
I'd barely slept as Bella had occupied every thought.
Her hair. Her smell. Her red, full, pouty lips.
I had to get over this obsession. A girl had never suffocated my thoughts like she had done over the last few days.
After breaking my promise to myself that I would not self service in my twenty minute shower I quickly dressed and went downstairs for breakfast.
Alice had already left to dress up Bella.
Bella. My dick jumped at the mere thought of her. I mentally chastised it, she's just a girl.
Emmett was already showered and ready to leave for school by the time I'd finished my cereal, I shook my car keys at him; I was too tired to drive. He grinned at me and yanked them out of my hand.
Em spent the car journey trying unsuccessfully to rap along to Nelly as I tried to grab a few moments sleep. That was unsuccessful too.
He pulled into the parking lot too fast for my liking but he only snorted at my disapproving glare.
He was out of the car and with our friends before I'd even undone my seatbelt. I glanced up at them all, my eyes automatically finding Bella. Her skirt was even shorter today.
My dick jumped again.
I needed to get over Bella Swan. I needed to prove to myself that she's just a girl; a girl just like every other girl in this school. I needed to prove to myself that the tightening, the vibration, the desire was a figment of my imagination.
It was in that very second as my eyes began tracing lines up and down her bare, pale legs that I began creating a plan that would allow me to kiss her again and therefore prove to myself that she wasn't special, that any other girl could make me feel as good as she did. Hopefully if I did that my dick would start working properly again.
I pulled myself out of the car, slamming the door pretty hard. Bella's face shot up so her eyes met mine and the rejection that shone in them made me feel even shittier.
I mentally began creating a second plan that would repair the damage last night had done to my friendship with Bella.
B POV
I was feeling embarrassed and pretty damn undesirable as I dragged myself towards the cafeteria. I'd only seen Edward once today; in the parking lot, but the bell rang before I got to apologise for throwing myself at him.
I'd spent all night thinking about it. I needed his touch. I craved it.
But he didn't want me. He'd pushed me away. I was too damn repulsive for him to even treat me like one of his whores. He probably wouldn't even want to be my friend anymore but I had to be his friend.
And to be his friend I would have to apologise for last night.
Edward wasn't sitting at our table when I walked in and so I was left sitting by myself for a while which became a situation Mike used to his advantage. He came over and asked me to sit with him and his friends. Mike told me that he'd seen Edward walking in the opposite direction earlier and that it didn't seem like he'd be coming to the cafeteria today.
I wasn't surprised.
I tried to argue with Mike as he picked up my tray but he ignored me and took it to his table. His friends were pretty nice, they weren't as funny as Emmett or as hyper as Alice or as beautiful as Edward but they were nice.
Well except Edward's groupies.
They didn't like that I'd been sitting with him every day this week.
Jessica sent me a particularly nasty look as Mike pulled me down next to him but I bit my tongue and tightened my fists, fighting every urge to punch her and call her a whore.
But the truth is if she's a whore then I am too.
She lets Edward use her to get his kicks and here I was hoping I could have the same set-up.
I wanted to be disgusted with myself but all I could think was it would be worth it to feel his lips against my own, to feel his hands on my skin.
"So Bella, are you excited about tonight?" Mike asked.
"Tonight?"
"My party." Oh. I forgot about that.
He looked kind of hurt.
"Oh yeah, totally."
I sent him a smile and pulled out my sandwich. Mike's arm came across my shoulders, pulling me close to him as he whispered into my ear.
"Good, I was hoping we could hang out."
I fought the urge to shiver and just smiled at him.
No answer, no deal.
Edward didn't turn up to Biology.
Mr Banner wanted to see the progress on our project but as far as I knew it was sitting on Edward's desk in his room. Mr B was not happy.
I was mad and even more embarrassed now. I was mad because not only had he subjected me to sitting with Mike at lunch, I had been yelled at by a teacher because he was avoiding me like a child rather than acting like a mature adult and talking to me about yesterday and I was embarrassed because he couldn't even handle being near me because I repulsed him that much after yesterday, I don't know how I read the signals so wrong. I thought he wanted me to kiss him. I'm such an idiot.
I sat perturbed through the entire of Biology but tried to calm myself before French. It didn't work too well. Alice and Emmett managed to distracted me from my Edward based frustrations by creating a plan for tonight.
"Jasper and I are going to try to fulfil our jobs as protectors of Bellarina tonight." Emmett declared to Alice as I sat down.
"Bellarina? And how are you going to do that Em?" I asked. "Follow me at all times?"
"Yep." He nodded. "We're taking it in shifts."
"We'll see how long that lasts." Alice laughed.
"You and Jasper will get drunk-" I began.
"No I won't, I'm the designated driver." Emmett grinned. "Mom and Dad are letting me have my baby back early for good behaviour."
"Okay then, Jasper will get drunk and you will get Rosified."
"What the hell is Rosified?"
"You will get distracted by Rosalie and leave poor Bella to fend for herself." Alice laughed.
"Poor Bella?" I huffed. "I'm not that incapable of looking after myself."
"That's not what I heard. You couldn't even tell Mike no at lunch today."
"What are you talking about Emmett? How did you know that?"
"I passed Edward on his way out of school. He told me."
"Oh."
Edward wasn't even in the cafeteria at lunch, how did he know I was sitting with Mike?
I'll force him to notice me, to talk to me and I'll ask him tonight when I apologise to him for last night.
Alice pulled me into her car as soon as school let out, declaring she'd need all the time she could get making us 'delectable' for the party.
Whatever.
She pulled a dozen bags of clothes out the trunk of the car and dragged them into my house. Surely she didn't need that many clothes for one night?
She rifled through the bags for nearly two hours before deciding on a bright green dress for herself and another dress for me. It was gorgeous. It was tan underneath and the entire dress was covered in intricate black lace. It dipped low in the back, had slightly capped sleeves and had a thick black satin belt wrapping around the waist of the dress before meeting in a bow at the back.
I adored it.
There was no way Edward would be able to ignore me in this. He would have to talk to me.
Alice sat me in front of the mirror and sent me an evil look in the reflective glass.
"You're going to tell me what happened between you and Jake – the truth this time, then you're going to tell me about this friendship you and Edward seemed to have plucked from nowhere and then you're going to explain to me what Jasper means by the 'Confederate Surrenders of the American Civil War."
She grabbed a hairbrush and began her torture both verbally and physically.
"So, Jacob?" She asked as she started brushing.
"You want the truth?" I asked rhetorically. "Ow Alice!" I complained as she caught a knot with the brush.
"Sorry."
She gestured for me to continue.
"We realised we were just friends." I should have told her about Nessie and how Jake fell in love with someone else but I was embarrassed. My self esteem had taken a real battering over the last week, first Jake and then Edward pushing me away yesterday.
"What do you mean?"
"There was no passion, no intimacy so now there's no relationship." I shrugged.
She just nodded silently, her eyes searching my face for more details but I wouldn't give them to her.
"Emmett said you and Edward seem to be getting along, he even invited you back to the house to work on Bio yesterday?" She half-asked, half-stated.
I nodded.
"Don't move Bella." She warned. "I might burn you." She laughed waving the hair curler around. "So…" She prompted.
"He's trying to be my friend."
At least I still hope he wants to try to be.
"Yay." She practically squealed. "You'll be a good friend for Edward, maybe you'll even be able to get him talking about Chicago, Mom and Dad won't tell Emmett or me anything and when we ask Edward he goes mental and puts up this massive wall around him." Her face was serious, her perfect skin marred with two large wrinkles in her forehead and her voice was sad. "He needs to talk about it sooner or later Bella or it's going to consume him."
Alice's eyes were full of tears; she looked at herself in the mirror in front of us before letting out a frustrated sigh. She turned her head to the ceiling and silently willed herself not to cry.
"I really love him." She whispered like she was telling a secret. "He never lets me say it, only Esme is allowed to say it, I think it's because she looks so much like his mom used to look but he never says it back, he's really broken Bella, don't expect too much."
"Emmett's already told me, don't worry Alice I'm a big girl now, I can handle Edward."
"Can you? Emmett, Jasper, Rose and I are used to it when he turns hot and cold, you're not. When he feels like he's getting to close he shuts off, pushes away, it's what he does." She looked my reflection in the eye. "You have to remember that Bella, he's not trying to hurt you, he's protecting himself."
I tried to smile at her reassuringly as I reached for her hand.
She grabbed my hand, squeezed it a couple of times and then went back to my hair.
"So are you going to tell me what Jazz is talking about?"
I tried to answer her but her words were echoing around in my head.
When he feels like he's getting to close he shuts off, pushes away, it's what he does.
My mind drifted to last night and a light flicker of hope ignited in my stomach, maybe Edward did want me but because we're friends that made me different from every other girl he's kissed so he felt like he had to push away, he had to stop the kiss.
Or maybe he just found me repulsive.
Two hours later my hair was perfectly styled. Alice had slightly curled the ends of my hair and given it more volume than I thought possible. She'd also done my makeup. She put mascara and eyeliner on me to make my eyes 'pop' and I had to admit I looked pretty damn good.
I don't think I'd ever been so girlified in my life.
A car horn went off and Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door.
"We're going to have so much fun tonight Bella; you can find someone to replace Jacob." She grinned.
Emmett and Rosalie were sitting in the front of his hulk of a car and Jazz and Edward were in the back.
Alice bounced into Jasper's arms and he pulled her onto his lap and did the seatbelt around them both. He was always thinking about her.
Edward got out of the car, opening the door and gestured for me to get in, all without looking at me. I pushed my heeled foot off the floor and attempted to get into the car but I lost my balance. Edward's hand was against the small of my back, before I'd even began to fall, helping me into the car. I slid into the middle seat and Edward was closely behind me.
"Thanks." I said quietly.
He just nodded tersely without looking at me.
The car journey was filled with Emmett's attempts to rap and Alice bouncing, literally, along to the latest Rihanna tune which caused Jasper to grimace and then moan which led to whining as Edward reached around me and smacked his head twice.
"Once for me. Once for Emmett." He'd justified.
"Yeah, don't be taking advantage of my virginal sister." Emmett grunted even though he was fully aware of Alice's less than virginal qualities and no one was going to argue with him. He was in control of a vehicle.
Emmett pulled into Mike's road a few minutes later and Edward was out of the car instantly.
I jumped out of the car and Emmett came up to me, offering me his arm. Rosalie, who was on his other arm, laughed before Emmett told us that it was his shift at 'protecting Bella from the dicks of Forks'. I wrapped my arm around his and we walked into the house that had music blaring but no one was dancing. No one was drunk enough to embarrass themselves yet.
Rosalie instantly turned to Emmett and pouted.
"I want to dance. Pleassssse baby."
Emmett looked at me and then at Rose, he did this several more times.
"I'm supposed to be looking after Bella."
"You can later babes."
He sighed and grabbed her hand.
"You have officially been Rosified." I grinned before I laughed and walked into the kitchen to get a drink.
The kitchen was empty except for Edward who was rifling through a bucket of melting ice, he straightened up when he found the bottle of beer he was looking for and opened it.
He turned around and almost jumped when he saw me. We were on opposite ends of the kitchen, me sitting on top of a counter, him leaning against a worktop. His eyes drifted up and down my body, his grip on his bottle tightening slightly, his eyes came to rest on my face and he was just staring at me, waiting for me to say something.
"Are we going to talk about yesterday?" I asked quietly, my thumb flicking over the tab on the can of Pepsi I was holding.
"I-" Edward was interrupted by Mike stumbling into the kitchen with Jessica.
"Bellaaaaaa you came." Mike grinned at me, letting go of Jessica and moving to stand in front of me.
"It's not even nine Mike."
"I'm not drunk." His hand moved to my leg and his thumb began to move across the skin.
"Okayyyyy." I picked Mike's hand up by the wrist and moved it away from me to the marble I was sitting on. "You are really drunk."
I looked around the room for Edward to try to get some back up dealing with boozy but he wasn't here but Jessica was, glaring at me.
"Can I get some help?"
She rolled her eyes before coming over to Mike, pulling on his arm and whispering to him 'if he needed some help getting to bed.'
Whore.
"No, I want to stay here with Bellaaaa." He slurred as his hand tried to make its way towards my bare leg again.
Jessica sighed aggravated. "Trying to stop me from getting any dick Bella?" She then stormed out the kitchen.
Thanks for your help Jessica and what the hell are you talking about?
I spent the next twenty minutes trying to convince Mike that he was in fact drunk and would not be getting any action from me and trying to alert the intoxicated that I needed Emmett or Jasper but Mike would not let me leave and Em and Jazz did not come to my rescue.
Shitty knights in shining armour.
The clock struck nine when I finally managed to get Mike to stop attempting to molest me in the kitchen with a promise of a dance.
I looked around the main living room to see Emmett making out with Rose and Jasper looking intoxicated as well as distracted by Alice.
Shitty knights in shining armour.
I managed to lose Mike in the crowd and I considered walking home and hiding until the others were ready to leave. I looked down at my feet to see the high heels and decided that I was not going to walk home so I shot up the stairs and tried to find a room to hide in.
Most of the rooms were locked but there was one at the very end of the hallway that was unlocked so I rushed inside and rested my forehead against the wooden door.
Mike's voiced echoed along the hall and I quickly flicked the lock on the door.
I heard door after door rattle before Mike jiggled the handle of the door I was behind.
He sighed and gave up.
It wasn't that he was a sex pest or anything, he was just drunk.
I let out a relieved breath and ran my hands though my slightly curled hair.
"You looked pretty comfortable with him today and now you're hiding from him?"
I spun around the dark room to find myself just metres away from Edward who was seated on a chair holding a beer bottle to his lips.
E POV
"Mike?" She asked confused.
"Yep." I sneered the word.
"I'm never comfortable with Mike."
"You looked comfortable at lunch today when you let him wrap his arm around you and whisper in your ear and in the kitchen earlier with his hands on your legs." I was being cold with her; I had been cold with her all night because I didn't like seeing her with Mike. If I couldn't have Bella I sure as hell didn't want him to have her and I slightly pissed off that she'd been encouraging him, it was only yesterday that she kissed me.
"You saw us at lunch?" She asked irritably like I'd been spying on her or something.
"I came to speak to you. I thought we could talk about yesterday." I justified.
"So you saw Mike on me, who by the way doesn't know his boundaries, and left school?"
She didn't want Mike's affections. Good. I took another swig of beer and touched the droplets of condensation on the bottleneck.
"Yep." I didn't have a reasonable explanation for why I left school today, I just had to. I got up, leaving my empty beer bottle on the floor, ready to leave the room, which appeared to be Mike's bedroom.
As I approached the door she placed a hand against my chest and pushed slightly.
"We need to talk about this." She said quietly, her voice barely notable over the harsh beats of the music below.
"Talk about what?"
"Yesterday night." She looked embarrassed, her cheeks taking on a shade of pink. "I kissed you."
"I kissed you back." Her eyes shot to mine, that wasn't the response she expected, she thought I wasn't attracted to her.
"But then you stopped and you screwed Jessica Stanley." Her voice was bitter when she spoke about Stanley just like mine was when I mentioned Newton. "Why?"
"Why did I stop kissing you? You're my friend so I don't want to hurt you and just so you know I didn't fuck Jessica Stanley."
She looked slightly appeased by this.
"Why do you think you'd hurt me." Her hand was still resting on my chest.
I don't know why but I needed to touch her so I reached for her hand and played with her fingers.
Just looking at her fingers made my dick twitch never mind looking at her long legs in that sexy dress; that evoked a semi-boner. Shit. I was quickly considering the possibility that maybe I wouldn't not be able to prove to myself that the tightening, the vibration and the desire was a mere figment of my imagination, I was considering the likely possibility that I was more attracted to Bella Swan than I was to ten Laurens and Jessicas.
I had to know before we could continue this conversation because if the tightening, the vibration, the desire was real, then I would want it every day in the foreseeable future because I had been craving it every minute since our kiss.
"Edward?" Bella asked. She wanted me to answer her question.
"I need to kiss you before I answer that." She looked confused and her lips partly slightly and that's all I needed. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. She stumbled back slightly but there was a wall just a step behind her. I started the kiss slowly, calmly and I could feel the buzz under my skin, growing, pulsing. The kiss became more powerful, more passionate and the buzz increased until all I could feel was Bella and my desire for her.
I pulled away and she was looking at me with wide eyes.
I ran my fingers through my hair.
She made my body feel things with a simple kiss that no other girl has ever done even rounding all four bases.
I couldn't imagine never kissing her again, never feeling the buzz of her skin on mine. My body groaned at the thought of going back to girls like Jessica or Lauren when I had Bella standing right in front of me, but Bella was my friend and I could not hurt her.
"Edward, why do you think you'd hurt me." She asked again.
"I can't do love, I do physical, I do physical really, really well, but I can't do love." I looked her in the eye and continued. "If that's something you'd be looking for, you'd get hurt because I'll never be able to give you that."
I stood quietly and just looked at her.
She was fucking beautiful but despite my desire for her, despite the fact that I admired her and found her personality wonderful and fascinating, I couldn't be her boyfriend or anything that requires attachment or emotion because that could lead to love.
I don't do love.
I can't do love.
This was all I could offer her. Friendship that could be physical.
I mentally cringed as I realised what I was offering her, "friends with benefits" and that made me cringe because I respected her more than giving her a label only a step above booty call.
"I'm your friend. I'll always be your friend but I think we have to acknowledge that physically we want each other but it's your decision if we act on it."
She stood quietly for a few moments, considering everything I had said.
Maybe she was looking for a way to tell me that she needed a relationship and that she needed emotion and she just couldn't find the words.
I wanted to make the situation easier for her so I reached again for the door.
"Wait." Her hand shot out to cover mine. "I'm attracted to you and you're attracted to me."
I nodded.
"Okay then." She exhaled sharply before pressing her lips against mine.
I couldn't control myself then, the buzz controlled me.
One hand fisted itself in her chocolate hair and the other reached for the soft skin of her leg, just under the lace of her dress.
Her lips increased in pace and I couldn't contain my moan as her hand drifted under my shirt and her fingers began drifting over the skin of my stomach.
Tightening.
Vibrations.
Complete and utter desire.
Reviews are better than moaning Edwards.
Also do you guys want descriptions of B/Es sexual encounters or should I just gloss over them. I've pretty much decided but opinions are appreciated.