"Then finish this Shepard, and find me." Those were the last words she spoke to me. The last time I heard her voice. Her Australian accent coming out thicker due to an unusual display of emotion. Miranda was never one to let her feelings show, but as the hologram flickered in front of me, I could see the pain etched on her face.

"I wish I was there, with you." She had said, letting on to the reason for her pain. "I know, me too." even as I spoke those words, I knew they weren't completely true. What was about to happen, what I knew was going to happen… I couldn't bare the thought of her being in the middle of it as well. No, I was glad she was somewhere safe, some Alliance science lab. Far from Earth. Far from what was about to happen.

My chest tightened as I looked upon her face for what I thought was the last time. I wanted to say everything in that final moment. I wanted to pour my heart out to her. Tell her exactly how I had felt ever since I woke up on her operating table and saw her. Tell her I love her and that if I don't make it back, that she knows she meant everything to me.

But no. I stood there, staring at her, wasting my last minute with her. As the hologram flickered out without another word, I felt as though I was punched in the gut. Now, I'll never have the chance to tell her. She'll never know. I can only hope I showed her how I felt. The soldier by the hologram controls turned to me, "Is there anyone else?" I continued to stare at where Miranda's projection use to be, "No," I said sadly, "There's no one else."

I turned from him, hardening myself back into the Commander I am. As I walked out onto the broken and deserted streets of London, my omni-tool pinged. "Shepard, it's time." Anderson said as soon as I accepted the comm. I squeezed my eyes tight, trying to prepare myself. "I'll be right there." I disconnected the comm. and made my way to him.

"Miranda?" Shepard asked as she put the datapad down on the end table. Miranda hummed a questioning response, not looking up from hers. "What happened after the last time we spoke? I mean on Earth. I remember heading for Admiral Anderson to prepare for the final assault after our holocall but then nothing." Miranda looked up at that, turning off the datapad. "You remember the last time we spoke?" She asked, her brows furrowing in confusion. Shepard rubbed at the back of her neck nervously, "yeah, it just came to mind." Miranda seemed even more confused at that confession, but decided to put it aside until later.

"I… I don't entirely know. No one does. Only you and Admiral Anderson ever made it to the beam and then before anyone even knew you made it, the Reapers were falling along with the Geth, AI's, VI's and the mass relays."

Shepard sighed, remembering EDI but not what she did that ended her... Life. For some reason though, she felt like it was a hard choice, a selfish choice. She looked to Miranda, who was watching her in that 'sciency' look she got when she was studying something. Shepard shifted uncomfortably in the bed.

So uncomfortable with the rooms atmosphere that she ignored the pain in her back and neck. The look on Miranda's face was all too familiar, and unsettling, but she couldn't place why.

"What?" Shepard asked, her voice cracking with nerves. Miranda blinked, finally registering Shepards nervousness. "I'm sorry," she apologized immediately, "I forgot you hated that."

"Is it because of the whole 'dying and being rebuilt thing'? You must of did that a lot because it makes my skin crawl." Shepard shivered, feeling exactly that. Miranda whispered another 'sorry' under her breath, her face masked with regret. She got up before Shepard could say anything else and started reviewing charts on a nearby terminal.

"Whatcha doing?" Shepard questioned, leaning to peak over Miranda's shoulder at the terminal. She ignored the question to ask with her own, "What were you doing that triggered your memory?"

Shepard looked at the datapad she had been using. "I was reading Admiral Anderson's autobiography." She waved it at Miranda to hide the guilt she felt whenever she spoke of him. Miranda saw it, but knew better than to say anything. She sighed in exasperation, "it's going to take time, but it's good to see progress." She sat on the bed, looking at Shepard, who was pointedly not meeting Miranda's gaze.

She placed her hand on Shepards and gave a reassuring squeeze.

Miranda could always see the guilt Shepard felt and the weight it carried. She saw it when she first told her about Navigator Pressly's fate and the rest of the SR1 crew. She saw it when she emerged from Thane's hospital room. She saw it when they said goodbye. "I'm sure whatever happened on the Citadel wasn't your fault, Jen." Shepard opened her mouth to debate, but closed it after some thought and nodded.

She smiled at her, "thanks, Miranda." She smiled back, squeezing her hand once more. "Get some rest, I'm meeting Jacob soon about remaining Cerberus cells."

She leaned in, giving Shepard a light kiss, only to have two heavy arms wrap around her neck in an unrelenting bear hug. She grunted in surprise, but hugged back with a lighter touch. "Thanks, Miranda." Shepard repeated, releasing her from her grip. "Of course, Shepard." Miranda smiled, making her way to the door.

"Anderson?" Shepard tentatively asked, scared of the answer she may receive or worse, won't. Silence. It dragged on through the Citadel. "Anderson?" She tried again, her voice cracking with emotion. She could feel the pressure build behind her eyes as tears threatened to break the silence. She didn't want to look, couldn't. She knew the answer but denied herself the proof. The Illusive Man laid dead in front of her, and she could feel the anger well inside her.

It was useless, what was done is done. She looked down to her stomach, numb to the pain she should feel with the amount of blood seeping through her armor. Minutes passed until Admiral Hackett's voice answered over the comm. "Commander? Commander, the Conduit's not working. It's got to be something on your end. Commander, are you there?" It took sometime for his voice to register. Shepard tried to pull herself up, only to fall back next to Anderson. She began to crawl to the control panel in her last attempt. "I don't… I don't see where to…" She tried to talk to Hackett, to answer and help, but everything was fading. She didn't know what to do.

She noticed the stars first, peaceful. Almost as if a war wasn't going on. When she rolled over, she felt it then. The sharp stabbing in her abdomen. It was still bleeding, but she was able to stand and take in her surroundings.

The second thing she noticed was the childlike projection staring at her. It told her the Reapers are the solution, to bring order to chaos. It told her she had to make a choice, destroy all synthetics or to become a synthetic, control the Reapers. She couldn't decide. She'd cease to exist if she controls the Reapers, but EDI, the Geth, they'd die if she destroyed them. It was an impossible choice, and her answer was selfish. She wanted to return to Miranda, she needed to. It wasn't a guarantee, but it was a chance she was willing to take. And she took it.

She woke up breathless and covered in sweat. The hospital room was dark except for the moonlight and city lights shining through the window. She rubbed the sweat and sleep from her eyes, trying to catch her breath. "That couldn't have been real, right?" She told herself softly. But it felt real, it felt familiar.

She rolled over gently to stare out the window. "It's not real." She told herself again, even though she knew it was.