One tiny, index finger was held in Rafael's left hand, the other in Sonny's right; Elisa still hadn't quite acquired the skill which long distances required, but they were more than happy to tread the winding path towards it at her side.
Rafael had kept a firm eye on her sneakered feet as their family continued to navigate the halls of the precinct, taking great care in ensuring that she never tripped over a stray shoelace, never slipped across the freshly polished tile flooring, that he absolutely would never let go.
Sonny, on the other hand, portrayed far more – albeit, woefully misplaced – confidence in their daughter's current physical abilities than him, it seemed.
His husband was perfectly content with relaxing his grip on the little girl's finger, letting his own hand fall further and further slack until Elisa inevitably groped for the missing link once more, reassuring her with a soft chuckle and whisper of, "I'm right here baby, don't worry. Me and daddy won't let you fall."
At one point, he had even suggested to Rafael that they try swinging her, to rely completely and confidently on a nine-month old's grasp and trust, unequivocally, that she wouldn't simply let go the moment they both lifted her from the safety of the ground.
However, after a glare from Rafael that Sonny had described on more than one occasion as, "the type of look you should save for cross-examinations and not your husband, Rafi", that idea had quickly become abolished.
And so they were left with a pink overall-ed and toddling Elisa between them, glancing around in wonder from her two-foot height at every new nook and cranny that they passed along their way.
"You've done such a good job walking today, angel," Sonny said; Rafael didn't miss the flicker of unabashed pride which circulated throughout the sentiment. "Just a couple more steps and then daddy'll carry you and your little legs'll get a break."
He folded himself almost in half then, laying a small brush of fingertips across Elisa's tummy, sending her into a fit of giggles.
The sound seemed to bounce from wall to beige wall, an un-orchestrated symphony of shrill notes which eventually settled within the open squad room doors.
"Is there…is there a baby out there?"
Rafael had never heard Rollins' voice so thoroughly thick with confusion.
He looked over to Sonny, who was looking down at their daughter, bottom lip in between two teeth as he braced himself against laughter. "Shh, Elisa! You were supposed to be a surprise!" he stage-whispered.
Laughter erupted from Rafael's chest, burst from behind his breastbone and from in between his ribs.
Sonny was beaming at him as their family finally stepped under the fluorescent lighting of the squad room.
It was early, seven-thirty in the morning to be exact; an hour in which they both knew only the most dedicated and sleep-deprived detectives would be found, hunched over their desks with the day's second cup of coffee at their side.
Namely, Benson, Rollins, Dodds, and Fin.
It was clear from their positioning – Rollins, sat at her desk, Benson hunched over the open laptop in front of the other woman, Dodds and Fin sprawled out in front of them at Sonny's currently unoccupied desk – that they'd been discussing a case.
But now, Rollins was wide-eyed, Dodds appeared unsurprised at best, Fin was grinning mischievously, and Benson was making her way towards them, all previous discussion of witness statements and a late disclosure succinctly interrupted.
"What are you two – you three doing here?" she exclaimed, brown eyes darting accusingly between Rafael and Sonny before settling on Elisa. "It's supposed to be your last day off with this gorgeous girl!"
She sounded, Rafael thought, eerily like his mother had the night before, when he'd spoken to her on the phone in between putting Elisa down for a nap and preparing dinner: 'Don't tell me you're going back to work on Tuesday! You and Sonny need to spend more time with my granddaughter, she's been home barely a month! And how do you even know she's going to like the nanny you picked out, I'll bet she cries the minute you leave – '.
Luckily, Olivia Benson at least smiled, unlike his mother.
Sonny chuckled and hoisted Elisa up by her waist until she was resting comfortably on his hip. Rafael wound an arm around his narrow back, pulling the two closer into his side as they stood, a family, united before the entire squad.
"Yeah, well, we wanted to stop by, introduce Elisa to the rest of her new family," Sonny said, gesturing towards the gathered detectives.
"We visited Sonny's parents last night and we're meeting my mother for dinner later," Rafael explained.
"Yeah, and this was supposed to be a surprise until Elisa had to go and ruin it with her cute, little laugh."
Sonny rubbed Elisa's nose with his own, then, a familiar comfort for the little girl; he had taken it upon himself to teach their daughter the importance of an unannounced and affectionate Eskimo kiss almost a week prior.
Not that Elisa needed any assistance when it came to aimless displays of unbridled affection.
She had already begun to respond in kind with Eskimo kisses of her own, the first instance being only the morning after Sonny had given her an inaugural one before bed.
They had all been at the kitchen table, Sonny drinking coffee, Rafael attempting to do the same while simultaneously spooning oatmeal into Elisa's waiting mouth.
He had set the bowl down and quickly reached for a sip from the steaming mug beside him when he'd heard, in between gulps, "Uh, Rafi. I think our daughter wants to give you something."
When Rafael had turned back around, confusion etched into the thin lines above his brow, he was met with the sight of Elisa leaning over the front of her purple high chair, chin and nose jutted forward expectantly.
Her green eyes had been wide and waiting as Sonny said, quietly, "I think she wants to give you a kiss."
Rafael had leaned forward, without hesitation, had moved until his nose had almost met the tip of Elisa's; had waited, chest tight, for her impending response.
And she had placed a hand on his cheek, still-fresh, baby-soft skin meeting his weekend stubble.
And she had brushed her tiny nose back and forth across his own, and Sonny had been audibly sniffling from the opposite end of the table, but Rafael hadn't looked at him, hadn't even gone back to his coffee, because he'd been too lost in his daughter's heart and green eyes to care.
So, when Elisa now grabbed Sonny's face, returned his kiss just as soon as he'd pulled away, and Rollins let out a quick and hushed "Aww!", Rafael could only nod his head in agreement at the sentiment, still undeniably affected by Elisa's little displays.
And, truth be told, a little affected by his husband, as well.
Because Sonny looked so happy, so obviously proud of their little family as they stood in front of their colleagues and friends, taking the hand that Rafael had glued to his waist and bringing it to his lips, kissing his wedding band.
It still managed to tug at the farthest edges of Rafael's heart, how eager Sonny was to show him off, to touch him, even now, after their love had long been solidified by vows and a set of engraved rings.
Sonny kept their fingers interlaced as he brought Rafael's hand back down, blue eyes trained firmly on his features.
"Barba, would you find a way to justifiably murder me if I told you just how disgustingly adorable y'all look right now?"
Rollins was smirking, but her eyes and the soft set of her lips spoke to the true feelings she was harboring at seeing her best friend attain the family he'd always so desperately wanted.
A sharp side-eye shut the cackling duo of Dodds and Fin down.
Rafael hummed, "I'll allow it, detective, but only because we are in the presence of my daughter. I can't have her seeing my true colors quite yet."
Sonny frowned in his, 'that-joke-wasn't-funny-at-all-Rafi' way, but any retaliation he was expecting from the other man was cut short by Liv's enthusiastic proclamation of, "Okay, well, go ahead and get us acquainted with the newest member of the team!"
Dodds and Fin quickly repositioned themselves at another, nearby desk, allowing Sonny to reclaim the seat at his, Elisa perched in his lap, while Rafael pulled a chair around to relax at his family's side.
"Alright, well, everybody: this is Elisa Rosalie Barba-Carisi. She's about to be ten-months old, and she's me and Rafi's little girl!"
Thank God for their friends and the fact that they were past the point of – visibly – reacting to his nickname.
And, well, there was no way in hell that Rafael could be mad at Sonny for using the expression, not right now.
Because Sonny was positively glowing as he kissed Elisa's hair and said, "Elisa, is this your new family."
He started at the far left, pointing first to Liv: "That's Auntie Liv. She's got a little boy, named Noah, who's a few years older than you. And then, of course, she's married to Uncle Ed. He's not here right now, 'cause he's a police officer somewhere else, so you'll have to meet him later."
Next, was Rollins: "And this is Auntie Amanda. She's got a little girl, just like you! Her name is Jessie, and she's super excited to meet you and play with you. She's already told me that you guys are gonna be best friends."
After, he gestured to Dodds: "Next is Uncle Mike. He's married to Auntie Alice. Auntie Alice is actually pregnant right now, so pretty soon they'll have a baby just like you, Elisa!"
And finally, there was Fin: "And last, but certainly not least, is your Uncle Fin. He's like, the coolest guy you're ever gonna meet, Elisa. Well, besides me and your daddy, of course."
Fin chuckled, gaze filled with mirth as he said, "We'll have to set her up with Ken and Alejandro's little boy. Get another little Special Victims romance going."
"Absolutely not. You are not setting our daughter up before she's even been potty trained, detective," Rafael scoffed.
"Awe, c'mon, Barba! It'll be like you and Carisi: they meet, then flirt for a stupid amount of time, fall madly in love," Rollins added quickly, southern charm dripping from her tongue like honey.
"Alright, alright, alright," Sonny laughed. His thumb was rubbing uneven circles across each individual ridge of Rafael's knuckles; maybe his death grip on Sonny's knee hadn't gone quite unnoticed.
"Jeez, you guys are gonna give Rafi an aneurysm or something."
He turned his attention back to Elisa, back to the little girl who was impatiently fiddling with the buttons on his shirt.
"The point being, Elisa, that these people, right here? They're gonna love you and protect you, just the same way that me and daddy already do."
Sonny pecked at her nose, brought a hand up to brush back a stray, brown wisp that had fallen from the confines of the clip holding her bangs in place.
Rafael loved them both so much.
"We will, Carisi," Liv said softly. "She's one of our own now."
"Yeah," Dodds readily agreed, echoing his lieutenant's sentiment. "We'll have to set up a play date once my Rebecca is born since they'll be so close in age."
Sonny nodded eagerly and Rafael readily concurred: "Seems reasonable, as you seem like the only one so far not intent on corrupting her."
The room burst into laughter, laughter that seemed to fill every minute crack in the floor, every chip of paint in the off-white walls.
Elisa was giggling too, eyes floating back and forth between her two, smiling dads as Sonny's chest reverberated against her body.
Once the room had fallen silent, save for the perpetual electric buzz of the light fixtures hanging above them, Sonny leapt from his chair and preceded to deposit Elisa into Rafael's unsuspecting arms.
"Oh, hey, you guys wanna see some pictures of Elisa?"
It wasn't a question, Rafael knew; Sonny was already pulling his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, unlocking it and navigating the electronic until he located the album he's dedicated entirely to Elisa's escapades.
"I got the most adorable pictures of her at the park! We actually got her to go on a swing!"
Sonny shoved his phone under a startled Amanda's nose, Dodds and Fin gathering at her shoulders for a look.
"Oh, wait, I got one from last Sunday, too. Rafi put her in the most gorgeous, little, white dress for church. Like, I'm not even being biased when I say, for a fact, that she was clearly the cutest kid in the entire place."
Rafael shook his head, took each of Elisa's hands into his grasp before brushing his lips against her plump cheek.
He loved Sonny so much, oversharing ways and all.
Suddenly, Liv was occupying the space beside him, lips quirked up at the corners in the tell-tale beginnings of a smile.
"She's beautiful, Rafael," she stated simply.
He nodded, looked down at the treasure in his lap.
The unexpected, wonderful, miracle whose head was laid over the curve of his stomach, fingers tracing purposefully along the individual patterns of his tie.
He knew she loved the colors, the intermixing shades of blue, the intricate lines and curves that met at random, various points to form the paisley design; he had worn it for her, after all.
"Isn't she?" he breathed.
Benson smiled, fully now. "She looks so much like you, it's hard to believe she's not biologically yours. The green eyes, the dark hair. She even has freckles on her nose."
Rafael knew this much was true, of course; he'd brushed that brown hair and styled it just that morning, watched those green eyes open sleepily from the confines of her crib, kissed that smattering of freckles as he'd pulled her from her cocoon of blankets and into his chest.
He recognized another, more evident truth, too.
"Her heart, though. It's all Sonny."
"You should give yourself some credit," Benson stated firmly. "You honestly believe, that with how much you love this little one, you won't have any influence over her at all?"
Rafael shrugged, busying himself with the ends of Elisa's hair.
"I guess I'm hoping more than anything that she'll turn out like him," he answered, eyes flickering over to Sonny, babbling now having returned excitedly to the vivid account of Elisa's first time at the park.
"You know, good. I want her to be good like him."
"She will be. And she'll be good like you, too."
Liv laid a hand on his shoulder, gave it a reassuring squeeze. She looked down at Elisa then, whose eyes were still planted firmly on Rafael's colorful attire.
"It's intense, you know? How much you love them even though that biological component isn't there. How you know, from the second you hold them in your arms, that you'll do anything and everything for them. That you'll protect them, and fight all of their battles for them, and make sure that the world's a little less scary than it was before they came into it."
Olivia brought an index finger down to tickle at the top of Elisa's hand.
She didn't tense away from the touch.
"It's not even a decision you make. You just know."
Latching on to Olivia's finger, Elisa's hand finally left the fabric of Rafael's shirt.
It was the fastest he'd ever seen her warm up to someone, himself and Sonny included.
Olivia Benson, Elisa whisperer.
"You know, you and Sonny make a great team," she pointed out in his continued silence.
"My life wouldn't be what it is without him."
If he was going to say something, it would at least be that.
Because Olivia knew, probably better than anyone, the unquestionable truth that was his statement.
He knew he wouldn't have happiness without Sonny, wouldn't have the kind of all-consuming joy that he had found within Sonny Carisi's laugh and strong, yet delicate embrace.
He knew he wouldn't have love without Sonny, wouldn't have the kind of all-consuming tenderness that he had found in Sonny Carisi's whispers of "I love you" when they laid together, limbs tangled, Sonny's sweaty forehead pressed to his own after they made love.
He wouldn't have a family without Sonny, wouldn't have the kind of all-consuming belief instilled in him that he had found contained in the depths of Sonny Carisi's blue, blue eyes.
"I know, Rafael. I do hope you realize, though, that he never would've let you miss out on this."
Before he had a chance to register the significance of Liv's words, however, Sonny was ambling towards him.
"Shit, Rafi, we gotta go! We're supposed to meet the nanny, remember? Get Elisa and her all acquainted before tomorrow?"
He squeezed Olivia's hand as he stood, cradling Elisa against him with the opposite arm; it was a silent 'thank you', but he knew it would be enough.
As they headed for the exit, Sonny bid Elisa's 'goodbyes' for her: "Bye Auntie Liv, bye Auntie Amanda! Bye Uncle Mike, bye Uncle Fin! I'll see you soon!"
Rafael waved his parting next, a discreet and concise nod thrown at the knowing twinkle in Olivia's eyes.
Sonny grabbed his hand as their family took their leave.
He caught one last murmur from Fin as they stepped back into the dimly lit hallway: "Man, Barba and Carisi, married, and with a kid together. Who ever woulda thought?"
Certainly not Rafael.