Author's Note: You guys are awesome, thank you so much for your support! Glad you all survived that last chapter. I wanted to quickly thank too, all those that have chosen to favorite/follow the story, as long as everyone seems to be enjoying it I'll keep going. Thanks again to Kairianna864 (Thanks for sticking with me), flmatheus, natsfanfiction, totestoots, and MichaellaD. Alright now to make a chapter that doesn't involve quite so much time in the character's heads… Well, we'll see.
I claim no originality in the theory about Ward that comes up in this chapter. Just my take on that theory.
Disclaimer: I own nothin'.
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Skye watched from the Bus as the team came out of the ruined base. Ward hoisted onto a stretcher between them. He'd fallen unconscious again as Fitz had been evaluating him. Skye couldn't get over the bizarre situation of everyone working together to get Ward to safety.
As they reached the on ramp and carefully navigated the space between the SUV and Lola, she could hear Fitz speaking animatedly to Simmons. The latter looking as if she were doing everything in her power to remain as controlled as possible. Skye knew the idea of saving Ward's life did not sit well with the doctor.
"I'm telling you Simmons, it was terrifying, a lesser man would have run screaming."
"Fitz, I'm sure it wasn't what you thought." Then, spying Skye at the bottom of the spiral staircase. "What in the world are you doing? You should be in your bunk! Where's your I.V.?"
"I don't want more liquids, I'm starving."
"Simmons, you try having Grant Ward call you 'brother' when you know all too well what he did to his biological brother and see if it doesn't give you the willies." Skye smiled a little at Fitz's solemn tone as she watched them place their burden onto one of the lab tables.
"Yes Fitz, alright. Skye that doesn't explain why you're down here. You very well could have fallen down those steps! Fitz would you help Skye back upstairs? She can have broth, maybe some soup but take it easy on anything too heavy alright?" Fitz nodded as he made his way over to Skye, waiting patiently as she watched Simmons move around Ward's prone form.
"Is he…Is he going to be alright?" The words had made it out of her mouth before she could slam her teeth shut to keep them in. Simmons stilled as May and Coulson glanced at Skye, but they immediately looked back to Simmons. The two waiting for her answer as much as Skye did. After a moment and a deep breath Simmons looked up with a tight smile.
"I haven't been able to do any scans but from what I see here, barring complications, he should be just fine." Skye gave a jerking nod before turning to go up the stairs, Fitz shadowing her carefully. May's voice stalled her halfway through her ascent.
"I'll stay here, to prevent any, complications." Skye saw Simmons pause for just a moment before nodding her acceptance.
"You do that. Notify me of any change." Coulson said as he moved back towards the on ramp, activating it to close. He then followed Skye and Fitz upstairs. When they got to the living quarters and Skye was sitting on her bunk she realized the Director was still with them instead of having headed to his office.
"Fitz do you mind getting that soup? I need to have a word with Skye."
"Sure." Fitz answered starting towards the kitchen.
"And a cheeseburger!" Skye called after him.
"No cheeseburger." Coulson scolded shaking his head.
"Coulson! Come on!'
"No cheeseburger," he repeated to Fitz then when Skye continued to look at him pleadingly, "fine you can have a grilled cheese, but I'll make it, let's just start with the soup for now. Deal?"
"Deal!"
Shaking his head Fitz made his way back into the plane. Leaning against the door of her bunk Coulson watched her for a moment before speaking.
"How are you?"
"Exhausted, sore, hungry, relieved to be above ground and wondering who those bastards were that took me."
Also feeling the aftereffects from a lot of unresolved sexual tension…
"How're the arms?" She looked down in surprise, with all the adrenaline and chaos she hadn't even thought about them.
"Alright I guess, still healing. Which reminds me, I lost the gloves Simmons made me. They're either still at the cabin or those jerks got them."
"We'll talk about that once we get back home and you've had some rest."
"What the hell happened?"
"When we get back home." He repeated, calm but firm. This made her nod in agreement out of habit. He had that tone. "Anything else?"
"Uhm…nope." She answered popping the sound at the end with a smile. Coulson stared at her until she rolled her eyes and readjusted her position on the bed, legs folded, elbows propped on her knees. "I'm telling you Coulson, besides being obviously a little dehydrated," she shook the pole carrying its half depleted bag next to her bed, "I'm all good ok?" Receiving more silence accompanied by some raised eyebrows she sighed. "Ok so yeah waking up in The Pit of Despair and having freaking Prince Humperdink show up out of nowhere freaked me out a little." Coulson's eyebrows creeped even farther towards his hairline. "Ok! A lot! It's not going to be an issue though. Moment of weakness."
"Which was that? You bringing the base down? Or the last part where the thought of him dying made you lose control?" Taking a breath to suppress the anger that thickened in her throat she answered as evenly as possible.
"Both. I'm not Fitz. I don't hold any delusions about Ward being brainwashed. Alright? I'm fine with whatever happens to him."
Coulson seemed to consider his answer carefully.
"I've heard some of Fitz's theories. I've given him permission to make some inquiries to see if he can make any of them stick." Skye felt her mouth open and shut several times before she could make the words come up with the action.
"Why?"
"Hubris. Probably." He said with a self-deprecating sort of smile, "But mostly I got to thinking about something like that happening to anyone else on this team. I'd sure as hell do everything I could to find answers. Help them if I could." He moved out of the way as Fitz came in with a lightly steaming bowl of chicken and stars handing it over carefully. She smiled her thanks as he placed his hands on his hips looking pleased with himself. "For better or worse Ward was a member of this team, he saved each of us at least once. I'm not saying that he did any of that without ulterior motives but I'm willing to admit the debt's still there."
"Should be interesting." Fitz said with a quick nod. "I'll probably need your help Skye." With a bite of soup halfway to her mouth she stopped, brows raised in question. "He promised not to lie to you. Though that might be null and void after the shooting thing…" He trailed off considering. "Of course that means that he might choose not to answer at all but it can't hurt to have you there. Maybe this way we can finally get some specific details about his childhood and everything that happened with Garrett."
"If you're up to it." Coulson added, watching her carefully.
"You guys seriously want to do this?"
"Skye if I were willing to wash my hands of Ward I'd have let him bleed to death in his cell." Coulson answered.
"You gave him to Christian." She countered, taking another bite of soup.
"Well, it's what we needed at the time." He hedged with a shrug of his shoulders. "And it didn't seem to be doing any good having him there. Anyway, just think about it and let me know."
"No need, I'm up for it if Fitz is." She provided, slurping down some broth as Fitz gave her a thumbs up and Coulson's mouth twitched into a smile.
She was going into this eyes open. While of course it would be wonderful to have an explanation to what had happened, she wasn't about to get her hopes up.
People did shitty things. Just because you wanted there to be a reason, to explain everything away for them, it didn't make it real.
"I can't wait to get started." Fitz confided to them. His scientist's mind formulating all the tests and questions he wanted to run Ward through.
"What if he refuses?" She asked, stopping his launch into multiple theories. His face scrunched up in derision.
"Skye the man brought me a monkey. Now optimistically it was a gesture of recompense for what happened on the Bus. But! I think it more likely it's his way of trying to get back."
"Back on the team?"
"Yes! I think what we've been seeing since Garrett's failed coup was the effects of the conditioning Ward had been through putting certain, ehm, stresses you might say, on his mind. I'll have to do more research but the long term issues with brainwashing, or mind alteration, are largely unknown because the subjects rarely know they have been. You know. Altered."
"So he wouldn't remember going through Hydra's treatment?" She was concerned and then dismissive of the small quantity of hope that fluttered through her chest.
"Ah! That's just it isn't it?" Fitz said pointing at her in excitement as she gulped down the rest of the broth in her bowl.
"Who says it was Hydra?" Coulson supplied.
"Right! It very well could have been Garrett! Ward admits to never being loyal to Hydra. I've found a very interesting passage which basically says and I quote…" He held his hands out indicating the importance of his next sentence. "Brainwashing is to effect a radical change in the ideas and beliefs of a person, especially by methods based on isolation, sleeplessness, hunger, extreme discomfort, pain, and an alternation of kindness and cruelty." He finished triumphantly, looking back and forth at his avid audience. "If we know Garrett's 'training' habits we can see if there are any commonalities."
"Oh Fitz." Simmons' voice came from behind Coulson, sounding tired. "You can't diagnose a man off a definition you found at a website." Skye tried to suppress her smile at the look of betrayed irritation on Fitz's face.
"I told you that in confidence! And anyway, like I said, it's merely the most comprehensive layman's terms I could find." He defended, making his way past Coulson and Simmons, muttering something about checking on Judas.
"Ward's stable, and not at all dead." Simmons informed them, falsely chipper. "How was the soup then? Everything feeling alright? How're the arms? Doing ok?" Skye nodded emphatically at her, and Coulson, who seeing the look rolled his eyes a little and taking the bowl turned towards the kitchen.
"Grilled cheese, right." He said. Simmons spun around from her new place at Skye's wrist, taking her vitals. Sticking her head out of the bunk she called to Coulson's retreating back.
"Sir? What grilled cheese? That's not for Skye is it?"
"That's classified." Came floating back. Making Skye bite her lip to stop from laughing. At Simmons' look she shrugged.
"I can't say anything. Director's orders." The sounds of the other woman's ranting flowed over her comfortingly as she was checked and rechecked. Finally satisfied with her friend's health, Simmons reattached the I.V. to which Skye wisely said nothing. Things may have been tense lately but she knew Jemma wanted the best for her. Even if they didn't always agree on what that might be.
After Simmons had left, Coulson came back to drop off the world's greatest grilled cheese sandwich, which she wolfed down in all the sanctuary a closed bunk door could offer. Happily full she dropped off. Not even waking when the Bus went wheels up a few minutes later.
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She woke up sometime after dark, aching everywhere. Carefully removing the needle from her arm, she clambered unsteadily to her feet. Creeping from her bunk she heard rhythmic breathing coming from behind the sliding doors around her. FitzSimmons were resting at least. Skye highly doubted that the same could be said of May and Coulson.
Padding soundlessly down the hallway she made her way to the spiral staircase. Holding on carefully to the railing she eased her way down the steps. The lights were on low in the lab. Pressing the button to the sliding doors she made her way to the sleeping form. Looking up to where the camera was she waved, inherently knowing that someone would be keeping an eye on the man in front of her.
Taking a few aching steps closer she got her first good look. His hair had been shorn short against his scalp. Simmons must have wanted to make sure she found all the abrasions and lacerations. Gauze and medical tape stuck to what bristling hair was left, standing out starkly from the black of the pillowcase under his head.
She could easily see where many other smaller wounds had been treated on his face even in the low light. How the man remained so good looking when he was constantly smashing up his face she didn't know. They'd cut his thermal off him and she saw broad expansions of buttery skin mottled here and there with varying shades of healing bruises.
There was a temporary brace on one wrist and thick bandages wrapping the opposite hand's knuckles. She frowned, trailing her fingers lightly over the bandage.
What was that from?
Looking farther down the blanket covered body she saw large uncovered feet sticking out with twin spans of gauze wrapped around each ankle. They'd removed both sets of restraints and there was no obvious security at hand.
Show of good faith…
She was considering the ramifications of agreeing to help Fitz as her hand that was still placed on the bandages covering the mystery wound, slowly slid onto the bare skin of his fingers. She felt them twitch once before he was surging towards her.
Her left came up just in time to catch the braced hand that was headed for her throat. Her other hand instinctually grabbing onto the bandaged appendage to halt any possible attack on that side. Their gazes locked, glancing towards the camera she shook her head slightly, hoping whoever had been watching hadn't already sprang into action.
Looking back at Ward she could see his eyes straining to come into focus in the low light. She let him take his time, remembering the stabbing pain that had shot through her own head when they'd reached the surface. With his sudden movements the bedding covering him had slipped down to pool about his waist.
After another breath Skye realized just how close he was, face only a few inches away, chest heaving with confusion.
She could tell the moment he recognized her. His eyes widened in the half-light, the pain in both her hands stopping as he relaxed his hold. He didn't let go though and his breathing only evened out a little.
"Where am I?" He demanded, voice rough from disuse and dust.
"The Lab." She replied with raised eyebrows, ignoring the fact that she left her hands in his. One set still at a level with her throat, frozen mid-block. The other set resting on the table next to his hip. Both sets clasped together, his hands and hers. "Look around." She added a little sarcastically even though she found herself unwilling to look away. His eyes stayed trained on hers as if he didn't hear her.
"What are you doing here?" Setting her jaw she glared at him.
"I came looking for some aspirin or pain killers, you're not the only one who got wounded you know." In a heartbeat he'd released her. She took a steadying breath discreetly through her nose only to breathe in his heavy scent of spice and male, that made her only feel more off balance.
"Skye?"
"I'm fine." She answered taking half a step back, which only offered her a better view of his body. Broad shoulders tapering down into the rivulets of pecs and abs. Skin glowing slightly from the dim overhead lights. "Most of this is from something that happened before, I think all the fractures are almost healed." She rambled gesturing to the faded splotches of yellow from forearms down. "I'm just achy like after a really long training session with May. Nothing to worry about." She swallowed to stop the flow of words that came out of her mouth. Finding the less of two evils she kept strict eye contact with him. He looked mildly confused before a ghost of a smile tugged at his mouth.
"I'm glad. I was also going to ask, why is it that I'm naked?"
Skye about choked on her own tongue. Her eyes felt like they were trying to escape the confines of her head. Inescapably her gaze fell to where the blankets bunched just underneath his dipping navel.
This would all be a nonissue if she hadn't recently been pressed up the length of that body. If she hadn't kissed those smirking lips and knew the way they moved against hers, like he'd been suffocating his entire life and she was oxygen.
Why? Why!? Would they leave him naked? Was this a test? Why did this feel like a test? I in no way want those blankets to move any lower.
As she sternly watched the covers in question, merely in the hopes that they stayed put... She realized she was still gawking at him. Then because it was the first thing that popped into her head she replied.
"Well because it's easier for all of us to take advantage of you if you're naked Ward. Duh." His lips thinned as he tried to repress the smile and his eyebrows lifted in question.
"All of you huh? That surprises me about Simmons."
"Thin line and all that," she said with a slight flapping of her hands, "I was most surprised about Fitz."
"Fitz? Not Coulson?"
"Oh no Coulson's so obvious with that fabulous car and all that sass." They grinned stupidly at each other for a moment.
"Simmons was patching me up huh?" He concluded, seeming to finally put all the pieces together. Giving her that grin he did with his head tilted forward, where half the smile came from his eyes before she even got down to his mouth.
"That she was. Even refrained from sticking you with anything poisonous, debilitating, or you know, fatal."
"Decent of her." He replied, the smile somewhat dissipating from his mouth.
"Well, it might have had something to do with May standing over her shoulder the whole time, with orders not to let you die."
Why was she telling him all this? Why was she still down here? She'd come for pain relief (even though she kept some medication in her bunk which was totally beside the point) and now she didn't feel too bad due to the adrenaline, again, coursing its way through her veins.
She felt the inexplicable need to give him a heads up about Fitz's plan. She knew if it were her she wouldn't want to be blindsided in front of everyone. Especially when she considered Ward's standing with the team.
"What's up Skye?" He asked. She was hesitant to answer.
There was this sudden comradery they'd just gotten back. That she understood now she'd missed. They had worked well together before the day S.H.I.E.L.D. fell. In the dark, with no one here, and him in such a…vulnerable…position. She felt an evening of the playing field. A lack of barriers that she knew would disappear as soon as the lights came up, or someone disturbed this truce bubble they had going on.
"Fitz has a theory he wants to examine." She could tell he was instantly uneasy.
"And this theory has to do with me." It wasn't a question.
"It has to do with brainwashing and-"
"Damn it Skye!" She froze at his tone and was about to yell back when he began trying to make his way off the table. Unthinking, she reached out and grasped his shoulders.
Was he suicidal?!
She was between his legs in the next moment, blocking his movements to stand, fingers sinking into the muscles in his shoulders. He was pressed against her from abdomen to chest. Each angry draw of breath fusing them a little bit closer. His hands moved to her sides and she thought for a moment he was going to push her away, or pull her even closer, until he stilled. Staring down at her.
"Is it really such a crazy idea?" She asked, voice huskier than it should have been. She refused to be the first one to back down. She swallowed harder than normal when his hands gripped a little at her sides.
"I am not looking to excuse my actions by pegging them on some bullshit excuse." His voice was deep and he kept clenching and unclenching his capable fingers in the fabric of her shirt. Alternating the skin of her back to the warmth of his body, against the chill in the lab when the material bunched together in his fists, making her suppress a shudder.
"How can you say that? Didn't Agent 33 save you in San Juan?" His hands flexed out like she'd used her power on him. Which, shockingly, she realized hadn't happened. Yet.
Go me!
In response she broke the contact with him as well, curling her fingers in over the warmth he left on her palms.
"Her name's Kara. And yes after you shot me, she got me back on my feet. She's exactly why I would never try to blame the things I've done on that particular reason. I saw firsthand what Whitehall did to her. She had nothing left, no sense of self. Hydra didn't do that to me. No matter how much we might wish for that easy of an explanation."
We.
She quickly compartmentalized the way him talking about this other woman made her feel and instead focused on the task at hand.
"So a part of you wants it to be true." He was silent and she used this as a way to discover something. "No more lies right?" His eyes flashed through the semi-dark and he nodded.
"Of course, if it were possible, I'd like to know, it'd make things… easier. But it's not." At her flabbergasted look he continued quickly. "And say we do Fitz's little tests and it turns out to be true what good does that do?"
"You can't be serious."
"I am!" He snapped rising suddenly to his feet, and promptly half collapsed forward a step into her, bedding falling in waves to the floor.
She caught him around the middle as his arms braced themselves on her shoulders.
"You. Liar." She gasped indignant. "You totally still have your pants on!" He laughed in a pained lightheaded way that pulled at the corners of her mouth. His body was like corded iron under her suddenly clumsy hands.
"I'm flattered by how disappointed you sound. Told you I was funnier now."
"Oh shut it Grant." He stilled on their trek of getting his rangy frame turned around to get back onto the table.
"That's the first time I've heard that in a while."
"Me telling you to shut your face? I can understand why it would make you nostalgic."
"No." He said with a grunt as he lifted himself to get sat back down on his makeshift bed. He was swaying only a little. "My first name." She watched him with calculation as she slowly bent down to gather his blankets, groaning when she straightened.
"You know..." She began lightly, pulling the blankets over him in a gesture she recognized as so completely polar opposite then what she'd have ever imagined possible to be doing for him. Since when was she the cheerleader for this plan? "The reason Fitz wants to do this, why Coulson approved it, why I agreed to help. That's the good it does." She couldn't continue farther. Couldn't say that it might make things better between all of them. That they'd welcome him back. What if he didn't want to come back? Didn't say it might heal things between the two of them. What if it didn't?
What if he doesn't want an us anymore?...Kara...
He watched her as he lay back carefully on his pillow, his fingers running over his shorn hair. She crossed her arms over her stomach and stared back, waiting.
"I'll think about it." He said finally, his gaze so intent she felt unable to look away for a few moments longer than was acceptable. Nodding to him and checking the stupid fit to his stupid blankets once more, she turned and made her way back to the spiral staircase. "Night Skye."
"Night Grant."
When she made it to the hallway at the top of the stairs she found a figure waiting there silently. Without a word the two made it farther into the upper deck before May turned back, deeming it a safe place to talk.
"You did good in there." Skye felt her mouth drop open a little in shock. She'd been prepping herself for a serious ass chewing. She was so surprised all she could do was nod dumbly. Prompting her S.O. to continue. "I'm not any more convinced with Fitz's ideas than Ward is." Skye decided her best bet was to be quiet and nod a lot. Which is what she did. The whole May and Ward thing was dangerous…and disturbing. "But if Coulson and Fitz are set on this course then it won't hurt to handle things carefully until the truth comes out, one way or another."
With a curt nod the single deadliest person Skye knew made her way back to the cockpit.
Woman doesn't sleep.
Curling into her bed Skye lay awake for a while before drifting into dreams of low lights on glowing skin and hands that clenched along her restless body.
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Alright there it is. Reviews always welcome. And I just wanted to make sure to put it out there that the idea of Ward being brainwashed by Garrett is not a new theory and I definitely do not claim it as an original idea from me. This is just my take on it.
Hope this slow burn isn't too slow for y'all. ^.~
Looking at having another chapter next week sometime.