Chapter Three

Due to the lack of anything exciting for a bit, I should probably tell you about the crazy skills you must have to be a guy:

1) Good aim. You don't want me to get into details.

2) A way to hide that certain embarrassing something so that no one will notice (I found that tucking it in the waistband of my boxers always worked).

3) Confidence in your own sex appeal.

4) Self control.

Needless to say, every mundane experience I took for granted as a girl became a challenge as a boy.

Anyway, back to my story. So I showed up to school on Monday driven insane by fantasies of Hikaru. I entered the class and Hikaru waved at me. I blushed and Kaoru smirked knowingly at me.

But he knew much more than I thought he did.

We always have French first, and it was starting to become my favorite class, mostly because Hikaru made it sound so sexy. We began reading a play, Le Cid.

For the sake of drawing an interesting parallel, I will tell you one of the sub-plots: the princess of Spain is in love with Don Rodrigue, who is a lesser nobleman whom she could never marry. To get him out of her mind, she sets him up with Chimene, who is of his rank. Those two fall in love, and the princess is left hating life.

Why did I tell you about that? Because in retrospect I can see who played each character in our little triangle.

Kaoru made it so that Hikaru and I sat next to each other. For the rest of the day, Hikaru goofed off while I attempted to work. My notes were covered in his little doodles and dress designs, spontaneous insults towards the teacher and Tamaki. It felt like I was a girl again, and it was fun.

We ate lunch together, and even though Kaoru was there, I felt like it was just me and Hikaru. I think Kaoru felt that way too.

Everything was fine and dandy like that for the rest of the week: I pursued Hikaru lightly, and he responded. The Host Club did better than ever before, what with everyone so interested in the "love triangle" we had created.

I should have seen what came next. I should have seen it in the way that Kaoru always made sure that Hikaru and I ended up together. The way he always left at just the right moment, giving me chance after chance to confess my feelings to Hikaru.

I failed every time, and Kaoru grew frustrated with me. By Thursday of my second week as a boy, he no longer even spoke to me. I should have realized it then, but boys in lust seldom notice anything.

Friday, as we planned our Host Club outing for that weekend (although the fable was due in a week and a history paper two weeks after that), Kaoru spoke up:

"We should go to the beach!" he said, much louder than necessary.

Everyone, even Hikaru looked surprised. Kyouya caught himself first and adjusted his glasses.

"Let's do that."

And so it was done. The next day we left for the beach, where we would stay in a nice hotel with the girls.

This trip, right in the middle of my month of torture, would be the best and worst of my life up until that point. I'll tell you about the good part first.

We played in the water with the girls, and I was finally able to wear a swimsuit and everything.

"Look!" the fat girl pulled me towards a giant crab in the shallow water.

"Mmmm…Side dishes…" I said, picking it up.

"You're so brave, Haruhi!" Another girl said loudly.

"I could cook you a side dish with that, Haruhi!" yet another girl said.

Before I knew it, the girls had used their Super Clustering Ability, and swarmed around me. The fat girl spoke first, in a low conspiratorial whisper.

"Haruhi, we've noticed Hikaru looking at you a lot!"

"Moe…" another girl murmured.

"Oh, I—" I didn't know what to say. Suddenly all the girls squealed.

"Haruhi is so cute! He blushes down to his tummy!" they shouted in that magical unison that girls have.

I stuttered ineptly, causing their squealing to increase a couple decibels. Finally, a beach ball sent from the heavens hit me in the face and caused them to scatter.

"Oh sorry, Haruhi!" Hikaru shouted, in a voice that told me he did it on purpose.

Kaoru materialized at my side and held my face in his hands.

"Did it hurt your pretty face?" he asked, his acting skills superb as always.

I swallowed and blushed some more, backing up into Hikaru's bare chest. So smooth!

"Your skin feels so nice, Ha-ru-hi…" Hikaru said low in my ear.

Let me show you the scene as the girls saw it:

Kaoru stood in front of me, holding my face, and Hikaru behind, arms snaking around my waist.

Naturally, of course, they fainted and had to be rescued by Mori and Honey so that they didn't drown in the absurdly shallow water. The crab I had been holding was now making a mad dash for freedom across the sand.

"Come to our room tonight," Hikaru said.

"Ha-ru-hi," Kaoru finished.

They walked away from me and I fell face down in the sand, willing my hard on to go away before the girls came to.

"Oh it looks like Haruhi has been invited to a threesome!" Renge's voice came out from behind me, followed by her slightly maniacal cackle.

"Oh please," said Kyouya, "Haruhi would never participate in such lascivious activities."

I nodded dumbly, a thin beard of sand coating my face.

Little did any of us know that I would in fact participate in a three some that very night.

Now that I've whetted your appetites, I feel I owe it to you to skip ahead a little. We had the same amazing crab dinner that we had when I was a girl, but this time I knew better than to stuff myself.

Ok just kidding I didn't and I made myself sick again. But whatever it's not like it's any of your business.

After having rid myself of all the crab I had eaten (and brushed my teeth like there was no tomorrow) I walked down the hall to my room, when a hand appeared out of no where and yanked me into the room on my left. I shut my eyes, not daring to hope.

"Why're you so scared, Ha-ru-hi?" Hikaru said, a laugh hiding at the back of his voice.

I opened my eyes. I had ended up in the twins' room after all, but…

"Where's Kaoru?" I asked. Hikaru shrugged.

"You're not actually thinking of a threesome, are you?" Hikaru asked.

Unsure of what answer he wanted, I shook my head. He smirked at me. We sat down on the edge of their double bed.

"Hikaru…" I began, and then stopped. Here we were, alone in a dark bedroom, and I still couldn't bring myself to say it.

"Haruhi, I think I love you," Hikaru said, ignoring my hesitation.

I looked at him, awestruck. He was staring at the floor, head in his hands.

"I didn't think I was gay…" he said sadly.

"So?" I said, gaining more confidence.

He turned to stare at me.

Now I feel I should warn you all that what follows is rather personal and, to a certain degree, graphic.

Before I could tell him that I loved him too his lips were on mine. It was the same crushing intensity and heat that I had felt on the Ferris wheel. He pushed me back on the bed.

He began unbuttoning my pajamas, without breaking the kiss, while I buried my hands in his hair. We broke apart briefly so I could pull his t-shirt over his head, but were back together in and instant.

My hands slid around his body, until he grabbed one and pulled it downwards. I gasped into the kiss.

Before we knew it we were only in our boxers, pajama pants on the floor, our bodies side by side and touching as much as possible. He was so warm…

I don't think I can tell you everything we did without getting embarrassed, but we were both satisfied at the end, and I had learned what a boy tasted like.

We lay next to each other for a while, our heads pressed together. Slightly sweaty from our frenzy.

I learned something new about boys: after they cum, they become incredibly emotional.

I learned this from the horrible terror that gripped me as I stared into his eyes:

This wasn't real.

He wouldn't remember this.

He was gay and would never feel this way about the real me.

"What's the matter?" he asked softly, his arm running up and down my back.

I closed my eyes.

"Hikaru, I love you," I said. He let out a low laugh and poked me in the ribs.

"Then why are you so sad, dummy?"

I rolled over onto my back and stared at the dark ceiling. I wondered what time it was. I wondered if I should go brush my teeth again.

"Hikaru, would you feel this way if I was a girl?" I asked, still staring up at the ceiling.

He rolled onto his back as well and grabbed my hand.

"I don't know. But it doesn't matter, does it?"

"No."

When I said that I vowed to myself that I would never wish things back to normal, not if I could stay with Hikaru like this.

For a moment, with that decided, everything was perfect.

Except.

Except for that one thing that I should have foreseen:

Kaoru came into the room and saw us lying on our backs, wearing only boxers.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru said. Kaoru looked back and forth between us. We sat up.

"Room for one more?" he asked timidly. Hikaru looked at me.

"I think so, Kaoru," he said.

I let go of his hand and stood up, suddenly the angriest I've ever felt.

"What makes you think it works that way?" I asked Kaoru, who seemed to be growing shorter by the second, "What makes you think I can possibly love you both the same? Do you think you're really equal to me? You're different people. How can someone love two different people at the same time?"

My anger spent, I stormed out of the room. Kaoru was crying, but Hikaru looked impassive.

I ran down the hall blindly, hearing their soft voices fade away.

All I could think was: It's over, it's over, I've ruined it and I'll never be with Hikaru.

Little did I know how wrong I was.

It wasn't my angry outburst that would ruin it with Hikaru.

It was what I did next.