Dorian wasn't sure how long they sat there on the floor together. The tears had finally stopped and he felt drained and exhausted. And foolish too. Although when he caught sight of Elden's expression he had to admit that he felt a little better. There was no judgement or disapproval there, only affection and acceptance and Dorian could only look away, overwhelmed, when Elden reached out to run a hand through his hair and kiss his cheek. Maker, how was this man always doing this to him? He wiped furiously at his face, no doubt smudging the kohl further.
They had shifted to a more comfortable position, still wrapped in each other's' arms. They couldn't stay like that forever, though, and now that Dorian had some semblance of composure back he knew he should step away. He needed distance between the two of them for his own peace of mind, even though he never wanted to part from Elden again. Whether it was blood magic or something else, he could still pose a threat to the Inquisitor and while there was even a slim chance Dorian might hurt him, he couldn't risk it.
"That's enough of that," Dorian said, extracting himself despite the disappointed noise it drew from Elden. Maker, he didn't have any sense of self preservation, did he? Dorian stood, brushing off his robes and attempting to straighten his appearance. A hopeless task. He looked down questioningly at Elden who had yet to move.
"Could I get a hand?" Elden asked sheepishly.
"You must be joking," Dorian said, appalled. "You're that injured and yet you still got up and came all the way over here?" He helped Elden up as gently as he could despite his disapproving words and supported his arm as they made their way back to the bed.
"Other things seemed more important at the time," was all Elden offered and Dorian scoffed.
"If you've ripped the injury open I refuse to visit you again." The whole way Dorian tried to inconspicuously keep his left hand behind his back, clasped in a tight fist, as if that could prevent events from repeating themselves.
"It's fine," Elden protested, sinking into the bed with a grunt. As Dorian pulled away, Elden caught his hand. "I know you're going to leave because you don't trust yourself, but promise me you'll come back tomorrow."
Dorian was silent a long moment, studying his face. There was no refusing Elden, however, so finally he nodded.
Elden gave his hand one last squeeze before he finally let it go. "We're okay. We'll get through this."
It was frustrating. He should be the one comforting Elden, especially now. "You really are a fool," Dorian sighed.
Elden had no right to give him such a radiant smile in return.
Cassandra and Leliana were waiting for him outside the sickroom. Cassandra fixed him with a glare as she stormed past into the room, slamming the door behind her. No doubt she was off to share her displeasure with Elden's leniency. Good, perhaps she'll be able to knock some sense into the good Inquisitor, get him to show a little concern for his own safety. Unfortunately that left Dorian alone with the spymaster.
"Do us both a favor and at least pretend we had a modicum of privacy in there," Dorian said, deciding it was best to talk first instead of waiting under her intense gaze. He always did prefer shoving his foot in his mouth to silence. "I'm aware there isn't much of my dignity left, but it would be nice to think I could keep at least a few shreds intact."
"If pretending gives you comfort, by all means," she said with a slight smile.
"I imagine you're also against all this?" Dorian continued, "It does seem rather foolhardy to let me in the same room with him after everything."
"Actually I was all for it," Leliana said. "If you're intention really was to kill the Inquisitor, that would have been the perfect opportunity."
"Indeed?" Dorian said, surprised. "Risky. Is that it, then? You don't suspect I might be biding my time? Waiting for another unexpected moment?"
"Oh of course, I never said I was convinced. This is my job after all." Dorian knew better than to believe she was taking this situation lightly, but she certainly seemed calm enough.
"Was this all even worth it then? If you didn't learn anything?"
"Elden needed to see you," she said more seriously, her slight smile vanishing. "And right now that was more important."
"Really, you shouldn't encourage him," Dorian sighed, rubbing at his forehead.
"I'm not," she said simply. "It's my job to provide him with information, not to sway his decisions."
"I see."
"Don't get me wrong. I may be the Inquisitor's spymaster, but I am also his friend. His well being is my priority. I do hope you aren't lying to him. For your sake, moreso than his. The truth is, many of us trusted you and we need to know if that was misplaced. And I'd rather be the one interrogating you than force Elden into that that role. Now if you'll excuse me, I should probably make sure the Seeker isn't being too hard on him." She paused a moment and, before following Cassandra, added with a mischievous slight smile, "you should really get some rest, you look terrible."
Dorian huffed in indignation, but couldn't really think of a proper witty remark. He was grateful at least that Elden had her watching out for him, even if it was terrifying for himself. Once Dorian was alone, he made his way out into the great hall where he couldn't help but notice that there were a number of templars stationed about. Of course if he asked he'd be informed that they were definitely not there to keep an eye on him and surely it was just coincidence.
He was tempted to go off course, see if they would allow him to head to the tavern or somewhere else, see how far he could push the boundaries. As tempting as it was to go get completely plastered, somehow he didn't really feel like testing things right now. All he wanted was to be alone. He thought of his quarters, cold and empty, now with broken furniture and blood (Elden's blood) and water splashed across the floor, and he didn't want to face that. Perhaps the library then? It wasn't like he was going to be doing much sleeping anyway so he might as well find a distraction. Luckily no thuggish guards stood in his way as he headed there.
Dorian started out by practically ransacking the library, searching for anything that might distract him. He couldn't bring himself to actually research blood magic. He was technically fairly knowledgeable already; one didn't live long in Tevinter without knowing what tactics one's enemies might use against them. Still, he felt ill even considering it. Right now he just wanted his mind to stop and finding something to absorb himself in was his first course of action. He was so busy pulling down books and tossing them aside, his mind racing around in circles, that he almost didn't notice when Sera poked her head around the corner.
"I told you," she said.
"I beg your pardon?"
"I told you not to bust out into demons. Is that what's happening?"
Glancing over his shoulder, he could see that she looked upset, angry and perhaps even frightened and Dorian swallowed the sharp reply he reflexively had ready. Instead he sighed. "I don't know what's happening, Sera."
"Pissballs," she snapped, "figure it out then! How could you do that to Elden of all people and not know why?"
"That's enough, Sera," Vivienne said and Dorian finally turned to see her walking up the stairs.
Sera muttered something too quiet to hear and Dorian didn't say anything as she vanished around the corner again. There wasn't really anything to say to that, was there? Vivienne drop into his usual seat in the alcove and watched him for an uncomfortable moment. Annoyed, Dorian began sorting through books on his table, only half paying attention to what he was doing.
"Tell me, my dear," Vivienne finally began, "what sort of aches and pains have you been experiencing since the incident?"
"The incident," Dorian echoed. He didn't bother to turn and face her and instead went back to looking over the shelves for interesting books. "Is everyone refusing to call it what it actually was?"
"Take a seat and don't be difficult."
"Why not when I'm so frightfully good at it?" Dorian replied, but he at least turned to face her, arms crossed defensively.
"Indulge me for the time being and answer the question."
"I don't know, I was generally sore, I suppose. I had a headache?" he offered. "And yes, yes, I know, a headache can be an indication of blood magic. And it was worse before- well, you know, before everything happened when we returned. But you do remember that I fell down a mountain in an avalanche?"
"I suppose it could have been nothing more than a concussion. Do you still have this headache?"
"No."
"Do you know when it went away?"
"A lot has been going on, if you didn't notice," Dorian said in indignation, "I wasn't really paying attention."
"Could it have been immediately after?"
"I- guess," Dorian said, hating himself for the thrill of hope he felt. Blood magic meant it wasn't his fault, but Elden deserved better than for Dorian to cast about wildly for anything else to blame his actions on. Of course, to pile more confusion onto all of this, his unwillingness to consider blood magic could also be a failsafe put in place by the blood magic. How exactly were they supposed to work this out? "So what exactly is to be done?"
"I'm afraid not much. Even if we did manage to discover something, finding evidence of blood magic on a Tevinter wouldn't exactly be a revelation. You could have been the caster or someone could have used it on you years ago. All we can really do for now is monitor you and watch for any unusual behavior."
"Lovely." Dorian's gut twisted unpleasantly at the insinuation that he might use blood magic after what his father had tried to do to him. Not that that mattered. It was only his word, after all, which, after stabbing the Inquisitor, wasn't exactly worth much.
"Well," Vivienne said, standing. "Whether it's blood magic or not is irrelevant for the time being until we can find out what truly happened during your kidnapping. Until then, do watch yourself. I'd hate to be the one to break the news to the Inquisitor should anything happen to you."
On the one hand, it was rather admirable that everyone was rallying around Elden this way. The Inquisitor had definitely earned their respect and friendship. But Dorian was reminded once again how much of an outsider he was here. He turned back to the shelves again and hoped no one else came by to interrupt him.