Chapter 4: It Gets Harder
"Mommy don't leave me! I need you! Please come back!" cried a 7 year old Nikki. "Daddy where are you!"
Nikki ran towards her mother... But her mother kept backing away. Nikki's fingers reached out to touch her... Her mother turned and ran... Faster and faster...
"COME BACK! MOMMY!" Nikki ran after her mother... As she was running she tripped and her mother ran out of sight... Nikki got up and ran in the direction that her mother had run off in... She ran and ran and ran... Until she came upon two dark lumps in her path.
Cautiously, she walked over to them... Horrified she saw her mother and father on the ground... dead.. skulls busted open... blood staining the area around them... eyes looking up at her, looking as though they were shocked... mouths wide open as if they were screaming... Nikki bent over and shook her mother and father. "Mommy, Daddy wake up!" she yelled as loud as she could as she shook her parents. "WAKE UP!" she yelled out again.
Nikki fell onto her mother and fathers cold dead bodies and sobbed her eyes out. "come back... come back... please come back..."
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets
(Nikki's POV)
"Come back come back... please come... I need you... please." I mumbled in my sleep.
Suddenly my body was shaking violently as I felt someone's hands touch my side and shake me. "Nikki get up! Nikki!"
"Wh-wh-what's wrong?" I asked sleepily. I opened my heavy eyes to see Bradin standing over me with a worried expression on his stressed face.
"Nikki are you ok? You were screaming like mad just a second ago... Something like 'come back don't leave me'... and like 'no' really long and loud and then u were crying... Are you ok?" Bradin asked really shakily.
I stared at him a moment and remembered my dream... though it wasn't much of a dream... it was more like a nightmare... "Y-Yea... it was just a nightmare... I'm fine...honestly.." I said with a little reassuring smile.
"Well if you say so..." Bradin said starting to walk away. When he got to my bedroom door, he turned to me and said, "O yeah. Mike called... He told me to tell you to call him as soon as you got up... he sounded really serious about it too... So you might want to hurry up and get to that..." He smiled weakly then left my bedroom.
I hopped out of bed then to the phone. I speed dialed Mike's number... It rang...and rang... until someone finally picked it up.
'Nikki?
Yeah. Hey Mike what's up? Bradin said you called...
Nikki... Nikki... God I just can't this out... I just can't... (Mike starts crying a little bit on the phone)
What's wrong? Mike tell me what's wrong!
I can't say it Nikki I just can't... It's so hard... and it hurts so much...
Tell me and I'll help you ease the pain! Please tell me...
I...I...'
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and...
"Nikki get off the phone! I need to call David! And Bradin needs to call about our flight and stuff..." Derrick yelled from downstairs.
"HOLD ON!" I yelled back.
'Mike I have to go... I'll call you later... Kay. I love you bye'
I hung up the phone with Mike yelling 'wait!' but I hung up the phone anyway... I was worried abut him... He seemed really upset on the phone... but why wouldn't he tell me what was wrong? Hmm... I really don't know... I'm sure it was rude of me to just hang up, but I didn't want to deal with it at the moment. I almost found it kind of selfish and more than rude to try and push all his problems on me after my parents just died... My problems seemed a little bigger than his right now... I did want to help him though, I love him, or at least I think I do...
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running
Hmm. Sometimes I just don't understand why things happen... Like punishments I guess... What did we do to have our parents die? Why does Michael have to feel whatever pain he is feeling? Why? What did we do to deserve this? I don't understand... I really wish I did though... I sighed again then got dressed and made my way downstairs with a heavy heart...
"Good mornin'" Derrick said to me. I grunted or mumbled something like 'what's so good about it?' but we both hardly understood what I said... Derrick gave me a little confused look then went back to eating his pancakes...
"I see you finally decided to get up.." Bradin said with a small chuckle. I nodded glumly but also amazed at how cheerful they could be at a time like this. I sat down next to Derrick and Bradin handed me a plate of pancakes. "You call Michael back?" he asked me.
I nodded again. "We didn't really talk much... He wouldn't really talk to me... Or tell me what was wrong... and he was crying..." Bradin and Derrick looked at each other then back at me.
"So you don't know what happened?" Bradin asked. I shook my head. Bradin sighed. "Why wouldn't he tell you?" I shrugged. "Well go call him back again... You should hear it from him..."
I finished my pancakes then got up and went back into my bedroom and shut the door behind me. I grabbed the phone then sat down on my bed. I jumped out of my skin as the phone rang unexpectedly. Bradin yelled up the stairs that it was for me. I picked it up.
'H-Hello.
Hey Nikki.
O Mike, Hi.'
There was a really uncomfortable silence between the two of us...
'Bradin said something happened... and that you had to tell me... And that he couldn't do it...'
There was another silence then he hung up. I threw the phone down with disgust. Why wouldn't he tell me? This was beginning to piss me off, but I guess he was also pissed at me for hanging up on him before.
I hopped off my bed then grabbed my jacket and headed to Mike's house. I walked slowly and took the longest path there I could... I wanted to take in everything I could... Of the way to his house and of my home.
But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
As I got to Michael's house there was police cars everywhere along with a few ambulances. Caution tape scattered itself around the borders of the house. I walked up to a police officer.
"What happened?" I asked fear flowing through me like the blood in my veins.
"There was an attack. A man inside the home grabbed a gun and started shooting. He killed one and left another seriously injured. He's in the hospital now... But he should be out in a couple days." He said with a serious tone.
My eyes widened and I felt my stomach drop to my toes. A killing? "D-Do you know who died and who lived? This is my boyfriends house." I said as I had tears fill my eyes.
He flipped open a pad of paper. "A woman was killed... Probably in her late 30s... And then the three men lived... plus another unknown male that was in the house. Your boyfriend, I'm assuming, possibly a brother, the husband and another man inside the residence. One was just sent to jail a little while ago. And the other is in the hospital. The third is now no where to be found, fled the scene. The killer looked to be a younger age. But we're not sure about his whereabouts as of this moment."
I stood there frozen to the spot. A younger man... Mike...Mike killed someone! WHAT?
"Ar-A-Are you sure it was a younger man who killed the woman! I can't possibly see Michael doing something THAT bad." I asked in a state of shock.
"No. His name wasn't Michael I can assure you. But we know a man by the name of Fred and a younger man named... we're pretty sure Phillis, were the killers. But this is all the information we have at the moment." he nodded to me then walked away.
Oh my God! I couldn't believe that this happened... Oh Michael... I had to get a hold of him. But I didn't know where he was... hmm. I power walked back home making sure that I had my eyes and ears open. The killer was still out there... I ran up to the house and threw open the door then slammed it and bolted it shut. Bradin and Derrick were sitting on the couch watching the news...
'37 year old Jill Smith was killed today inside her home. Her one son injured, the other fled the scene and her husband in jail. The killing is guessed to have been planned as 40 year old Fred Smith was sent to jail today for knowing about the planned murder. Smith is in jail being questioned about the whereabouts of the killer.
However. 18 year old Anothony Smith sits in the hospital in stable condition. He is to undergo surgery to remove a bullet that lodged itself in his stomach. No words yet on when this surgery shall take place. Michael Smith is 'missing,' so any information on his whereabouts contact us at the number at the bottom of the screen.
As for the whereabouts of the killer... Police are still investigating...
For continuing coverage on this story... This is John Phillis. Channel 6 Action News.'
I felt the tears creep down my cheeks onto my lips. I tasted my warm salty tears on my lips. I sniffled and Bradin and Derrick turned and looked at me. Bradin got up and walked over to me and embraced me in a comforting hug. He kissed the top of my head.
"C-Can w-we g-g-go see hi-him?" I asked shakily.
"Yeah." Bradin said. He went and grabbed the keys to the car and a coat then headed out the door. We got into the car... And Bradin drove to the hospital... It was silent in the car the whole way. We pulled up to the hospital and parked... then silently walked inside.
It was crazy in there. People popping in and out of doors.. People on tables... People in operating rooms...Moaning... Crying...Waiting... Death... It was a place I never wanted to come back to... or be in ever...
Bradin walked up a desk and asked where Anthony was. She told us where the room was and we headed to his room. When we got there, Anthony was asleep with all kinds of tubes and wires stuck all over him... beep...beep...beep...
My heart skipped a beat when I saw Michael sitting there in the room with Anthony.
"I'll be in the waiting room when you're done." Bradin said softly as he left the room.
As sure as I knew I was alone... I started crying. "O Michael..." I sobbed.
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
Until the end, until this pool of blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of...
Michael reached his arms out to let me hug him. I didn't know what to say to him... nothing could be said to him. "Don't you know there are tons of people looking around for you?"
Michael nodded, "I just told a nurse to call in and tell them that I'm here... I doubt she did though, she was really stupid."
I couldn't stay in the room any longer with them, it was too painful, so I said my goodbyes and left. As I was walking down the hall I peered into every room.. All the sick people... the hurt people... the dead people... it pained me more than anything... I brushed away the tears. I found Bradin in the waiting rubbing his temples, then propping his head on his hands.
I touched his shoulder and he jumped then turned and got up and we walked to the door. We got in the car then drove home... Again... there was silence the whole way.
When we got home, Derrick was asleep on the couch with the news on... No news yet on the killer of Michael's Mom... I sighed... Why? Why did this all happen... It didn't need to happen... Why does Michael deserve not to have a Mom anymore and have a Dad who betrayed them both? He doesn't deserve it anymore than we deserve to have our Mom and Dad killed in an accident.
It just didn't make sense. Life didn't make sense... Then again... Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I sighed. I walked over to the phone and dialed the hospital... I wanted to talk to Michael... If he was awake. He picked up the phone.
'H-Hello?
Hey Mike, it's Nikki
Hey'
There was an uncomfortable silence as I felt the tears ball up in my throat.
'So what did you want? I'm kinda tired...
... I hope you feel better... I really do... Bye.'
I hung up the phone and started to cry. I really just couldn't talk to him anymore... I had so many emotions going on inside me I wanted to die... I hated it. Every little bit of it. I just wanted to go lie in my bedroom... sink into the floor and exist no more... Life was so unfair... but then again... No one every said that life was fair... And that's how it has to be... Unfair, cruel, and painful...
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
Until the end, until this pool of blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of...
I had to get out of this place... Had to restart my life... Get it going on the right track before I did something really drastic... Like suicide... Or anything really drastic for that matter... Hmm... O well... I slowly walked out of the house... With no idea or destination to where I was going... I was just walking... and walking... I walked for hours and hours just going and going... lost in my own little world... Once the sky started to turn a golden color... I turned around and started to head home.
When I got home the sky was almost all black. I opened the door quietly and slipped in. Bradin and Derrick were sitting on the couch watching TV... They probably didn't even know that I had left 4 hours ago... O well... I tip toed up the stairs and silently slipped into the safety of my bedroom and shut the door. I walked over to my bed and laid down. I starred blankly up at the ceiling... Thinking everything over that had happened in the past week...
After about probably and hour or so... I slipped into a coma like sleep... I slept all through the night and all of the morning and most of the afternoon the next day... Bradin and Derrick had a panic attack when I wouldn't wake up... They thought I had died or something... But we got over that. I chuckled to myself as I saw the look on Bradin's face as I woke up and got startled by their presence.
I ordered Bradin and Derrick out of my bedroom then got up and got dressed... For what I have no idea... I mean hey, it was like 4 in the afternoon. There wasn't much else I could do... I sleepily walked downstairs and went to the cabinet to grab something to eat. I grabbed a bowl and cereal and placed it on the table then went to get the milk. I grabbed that then sat down.
"Cereal? At this time in the day?" Bradin asked.
I just nodded and went onto what I was doing without making a single noise at all. I just ate silently and once I finished I cleaned up then went back up to my room. I grabbed a black jacket and black pants out of my closet. I put them on then went over and put on some black eyeliner and mascara. I walked downstairs and went straight out the door.
I walked over to the park and sat down on a bench deep in the woods. All by myself so no one could find me. I wanted to be alone. With just me. I stared at the ground. And kept staring for what seemed like an eternity...
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
I saw my life flash through my eyes... All the smiles on my families faces burned into me. I felt tears sting my eyes... Every happy moment of my life went through me... Then just as soon as it came to me... It had left the grasp of my fingers and it was gone forever... Then... the horror came.
Every dark and gloomy moment of my life flashed before me in slow motion so I felt all the pain again... But this time slower... I felt like my heart was being stabbed with a thousand knives as the pain for the death of my parents came back to me... I forced back the tears as best I could... Then finally, it was so overwhelming my body started shaking and I broke down.
As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms
Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun
I sat there for probably 3 hours... just crying... Having pain envelope me... Pain run through me like the blood in my veins... I sat and sat and cried and cried until I could hardly breath and I had cried every last drop of water out of my body... I whipped my beat red eyes on my sleeve to dab away the tears... My eyes burned... But I shook it off. I looked up and saw tiny beams of light breaking through the clusters of trees all around me... I immediately sprung up and dashed out of the woods before they got any closer to me... I ran all the way out of the woods... Not stopping at all, no looking back or anything... I just kept running and running...
I had no idea where I was running to... But I kept going...I stopped for a second when I was about 3 miles or so away from the woods to catch my breath. I felt my heart thud fast and hard against my chest... It hurt so bad. I choked for air. As I gasped for air I froze... Someone was following me... I looked over my shoulder slightly and saw someone running after me... I panicked and dashed.
I heard foot steps gradually get louder and louder as I ran. Then all of a sudden they froze and I heard gun fire. I ran faster than I ever had before in my life. Guns going off back and forth... Red and blue lights everywhere I looked. First gun fire was really close behind me, but the more I ran, the softer the sound got. I stopped and turned around to see what was going on. I saw a group of police men surround a man on the ground. There was a great battle. A police officer fell to the ground after a big shriek of pain, another fell (probably knocked unconscious) the man on the ground ran away and fled the scene. Some ran after him, others ran to their cars. Luckily they ran in the opposite direction of me... I sighed with relief.
Then as fast as I could I ran home. I threw open the door, slammed it shut then locked it. I leaned up against the door panting. Bradin gave me a weird look, then kept walking like everything was normal. I slid down the door and continued to pant as my heart raced fast inside my chest. Then shakily, I got off the floor after about 15 minutes.
I walked up to my bedroom to throw on some pjs... I flipped on the TV and started getting changed. The news was on...
'The suspects of the murder of 37 year old Jill Smith were spotted earlier this evening near the woods near this quiet suburban town. A local resident spotted the alleged killer and called police. The police immediately arrived at the scene where the alleged murder was running out of the woods following someone who look to be a little girl in her teens, possibly his next victim.'
I froze.
'Gun shots were exchanged between the police officers and the criminal. One cop was killed, others severely wounded. The man took off after shooting and killing one officer, while the other person with him fled the scene completely before anything even happened. Police followed the man into the woods, but lost him shortly after the chase began. The woods are now being searched throughly along with the town to find the killer. Here are two sketches of the man who supposedly murdered Jill Smith. (Sketch drawings of the man and a drawing of Nikki were placed on the screen) The second one is the girl that either was the next victim or had a part in the killing. Any information about the whereabouts of these two would be much appreciated to. To reach us call 1-800-ACTIONNEWS toll free. I'm John Phillis for Channel 6 Action News. Monica back to you...'
I froze dead at the sketch of me on the TV. THEY THOUGHT I WAS A KILLER! I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time... But of course no one would believe me. I didn't know what to do... I threw myself onto my bed. I heard loud footsteps run up the stairs. Then a loud knock on my door. "NIKKI! OPEN UP!" I heard Bradin yell. I told him to come in glumly.
I looked up at Bradin with watery eyes. He came over and sat next to me and wrapped his arms around me.
I just broke down in his arms... "Bradin... They think I killed her. Bu-but I didn't. I didn't kill anyone. I was just around the woods! I was at wrong place at the wrong time! yyou have to believe me Bradin! What do I do!"
"It's alright Nikki calm down... We'll just tell the police what happened. It'll be ok... It has to."