Chapter 4
December 23rd, 2022
"Brittany," Santana whines. "Just tell me where we're going!" The irritated brunette crosses her tanned arms over her chest.
The two women are driving in California enjoying the summer like weather, a stark contrast to all the snow back in New York. Santana preferred the winter, but Brittany wished they could live here. They could move here, if they wanted, but Brittany had her studio and Santana couldn't just leave her students at school. The whimsical blonde had put the top down on the convertible they'd rented for their Christmas vacation, wanting to feel the wind in her hair.
"I'm 'fraid I can't tell you that. Top secret intelligence," Brittany says, adjusting the aviator glasses on her nose.
"Come on. Just a little, teeny tiny hint," Santana pleads, looking at her wife with puppy dog eyes. She really had to pee, but she didn't want to bother Brittany. She knows that the blonde gets worried when they have to find a gas station to use the restroom at.
"It'll ruin the surprise," Brittany says, laughing. Defeated, Santana changes the topic.
"You look cute in those glasses. It looks like you're going to solve a murder or something," Santana comments, putting a hand on her wife's shoulder. Brittany smiles.
"Open up the glove box," she says to Santana. The Latina looks confused when she sees a blindfold neatly folded in the compartment. "Put it on."
"You're not going to leave me somewhere, are you?" Santana says, and Brittany shakes her head.
"Just put on the damn blindfold and look cute," Brittany orders. Santana has no choice but to tie the blue blindfold around her eyes. To make sure she wasn't cheating, Brittany waves a hand over Santana's face. Her wife doesn't move, so Brittany smiles.
They drive for a while longer, Santana trying to guess where they were headed. Santana hears the car stop and frowns. It's not a chocolate store, because she would've smelled that.
"Okay Tana. I'm going to open the door and lead you inside," Brittany says, and Santana just nods. Being blindfolded and seven months pregnant with twins was not a good combination. Brittany leads Santana into a building, holding her hand and telling her to watch out for doors and corners. "Sit down."
"Brittany, can you please tell me what's going-" Santana gasps when Brittany takes her blindfold off. "We're going to see The Ellen Show?" Santana can hardly contain her excitement, bouncing up and down on the wooden bench.
"Now, aren't you glad I didn't ruin the surprise?" Brittany says, a devilish grin on her face. Santana hugs her.
"Thank you thank you thank you! Ay, this is so exciting!" Santana squeals. Brittany is happy that Santana liked her present. She had saved up for a while to get them tickets to see Santana's favorite comedian.
Santana says she's going to pee her pants if they don't find a bathroom soon, so Brittany hurries them over to the nearest restroom. She's perplexed when her wife goes over to the largest stall, peeking in cautiously before opening the door to go inside. As she's peeing, Brittany calls over to her.
"Sannie, why did you look in the stall before you went in?"
"Oh, because sometimes Ellen does this thing where she hides in the bathroom," Santana begins and then flushes the toilet. She emerges, walking over to wash her hands. "And scares the living shit out of people. It's pretty funny, actually. Okay, I'm done now. Vamanos, mamacita!" Santana finishes, marching out of the bathroom with Brittany in suit. Brittany laughs.
"You use Spanish a lot when you're excited," Brittany observes. "It's cute." Santana smiles and takes the blonde's hand, squeezing it tightly.
When they enter the studio, Santana is crestfallen because she sees that there are many people already there. Brittany sees her frown when Santana notices her ideal seating choice has been taken.
"Over here, Santana," Brittany says, pointing to an aisle seat. Santana nods vehemently, knowing that they'll be able to dance with Ellen when she comes on stage. Also knowing this, Brittany lets Santana sit on the aisle seat, going in first before taking her wife's hand and guiding her to the seat. Santana smiles and puts a hand on her stomach before settling into her seat.
"I swear, every month it gets harder to sit down," Santana groans, but then looks at her wife. "Thanks honey, this is super cool. I promise, you don't have to get me anymore Christmas presents until we're like fifty," Santana says, holding Brittany's hand.
"Can I make you a sock puppet?" Brittany asks innocently, puppy dog eyes out. Santana rolls her eyes, getting an elbow nudge from the childlike blonde.
"Kidding, kidding. Of course, baby. Whatever you want," Santana smiles, then kisses Brittany's hand.
"Hon, the music's starting. What does that mean?" Brittany asks, and Santana turns her attention to the door opening to their left.
"Ellen's is going to come on now. We have to get up and dance!" Santana says, watching the quirky show host dance awkwardly down the aisle. Brittany and Santana clap when Ellen reaches the stage, sitting down in her chair. She does a funny monologue about what to do when you forget to get someone a Christmas present. Judging by Santana's expression, she thought it was pretty hilarious.
"We have a new segment today, and it's probably going to be one of my favorites," Ellen begins, and Brittany turns her attention back to the comedian. "It's called, Meet the Audience." Ellen says, then turns to a man wearing a Santa Clause costume with the spotlight. He waves the light over the crowd, and one of the crew guys dims the lights down low. The light goes over Santana and Brittany, the camera following the light. To Santana's delight, the spotlight goes back to Brittany, and they can see her confused face on the TV screens onstage. Realization creeps over the blonde's face as she realizes what happened.
"Brittany! Go up there!" Santana says, pushing her wife out into the aisle. Before Brittany can say anything, Ellen calls her down, letting her sit on one of her red couches.
"So hello there," Ellen says, and the crowd laughs. For some reason, Brittany's stomach is tied up in knots, and she doesn't know what to say.
"Hi. I'm Brittany... S. Lopez-Pierce," she quickly, giving Ellen a nervous wave. Santana frowns from the audience when she sees her wife incredibly nervous.
Ellen smiles at the blonde, knowing she's nervous. "So Brittany, where ya from?" the comedian asks, big blue eyes staring right a Brittany.
"New York," she responds timidly, playing with her hands. Santana is in her seat, shaking her head.
"Gosh, your freaking out here," Ellen laughs, and Brittany nods, smiling. Then suddenly, the dancer gets an idea.
"Um, Ellen, can I bring someone down here with me?"
Ellen pauses before answering. "I don't see why not. The more the merrier. That's what Momma tells me when she knits me sweaters every Christmas."
"Okay, I'll be right back," Brittany says, almost leaping up the steps to Santana.
"I'll keep it warm for you," Ellen says, making a funny face at the crowd.
"Britt, what are you doing?" Santana hisses, and the camera zooms in on the couple.
"Come on! Don't you want to meet Ellen?" Brittany says, and not waiting for an answer, begins to lead her wife down the stairs.
"Britt, no! I'm all big and pregnant!" Santana protests, but she bends to Brittany's iron will. Ellen smiles when she sees Santana and Brittany, and a man comes over with a second sofa chair. Santana sits in it, thanking the crewman, the audience clapping.
"Gosh, he lifted that pretty easily. Are you sure this isn't made out of Styrofoam?" Santana jokes, and she gets a laugh from the audience.
"We're kind of on a budget," Ellen says, and Santana smiles. "So, who are you?" she asks, and the audience laughs at her bluntness.
"Hi, I'm Santana, Lopez-Pierce. Brittany's my wife," Santana says, taking Brittany's hand and showing Ellen and the audience their matching wedding rings. Ellen smiles.
"That's fantastic! And how long ya'll been married?" Ellen drawls, and Brittany begins to count on her fingers.
"A year," the blonde says, and everyone claps.
"That's great! But that's a really short time to get her knocked up, don't you think?" Ellen jokes, gesturing to Santana, and the both of them smile.
"So how did you two meet?"
"We actually met in high school. We're best friends, and we started dating senior year," Brittany says, visibly relaxed now that Santana is with her. The whole crowd 'awwwwwwws', thinking that's adorable and Ellen smiles.
"So what do you two do?" Ellen asks, and Brittany opens her mouth to speak.
"Well, sometimes we go to Starbucks: I get a hot chocolate because I don't like coffee. Or other times we go and feed the ducks-" Brittany begins, and Santana leans over and whispers something in the blonde's ear, which makes her go, "Oh! Okay, sorry. I have my own dance studio, and Santana is a high school Spanish teacher." Brittany is blushing now, but Santana smiles at her.
"Ole! A question for each of you," Ellen begins, and Brittany nods. "So what are you favorite movies?"
Santana immediately blushes, and Brittany laughs. "My favorite movie is Gone With The Wind. Come'on Sannie, tell her yours," Brittany pokes the Latina in the ribcage.
"I'd rather not," Santana says shaking her head.
"Her favorite movie is Finding Nemo because you're her idol!" Brittany says, and Santana shrugs. "And plus, our friends used to call us Ellen and Portia in high school."
Ellen laughs, resting a hand on her knee. "Well isn't that adorable! So who's Ellen in this relationship?" the audience laughs.
"Me," says Santana, raising her hand. "And Brittany would be Portia, because she's blonde."
"Good answer. We'll be back after the break, one more time a big hand for Brittany and Santana!" Ellen finishes, and the cameras go off for a commercial break. "Hey, do you guys wanna dance?"
"Sure!" Brittany says, and she and Ellen start dancing. Everyone whoops when Brittany dances, because she's visibly better than Ellen's awkward dancing. Ellen dances Santana and Brittany back to their seats, thanking them once again.
"Britts, best Christmas ever," Santana says, kissing her wife on the cheek.