The drive back to the Twelfth was oddly quiet but the conversation in Kate Beckett's head revolved around her fiancé's hurtful, "you said no more secrets. You said you would tell me everything. Why didn't you tell me?"

She glanced over to Richard Castle in the passenger seat – he was looking at the passing billboards.

She couldn't stand the silence any longer, "I'm sorry. Are you angry?"

Her words brought Castle from his sojourn and he looked at her, "For what?"

Beckett glanced at him briefly before returning to the traffic in front of her, "the modelling …"

He didn't answer her, his gaze had returned to the advertising. Finally, he said quietly, "One of those could have been you. You could have been world famous."

"I chose to do something more worthwhile with my life. "

"Only because it became your coping mechanism," Castle looked at her.

Beckett felt an angry rise and she glanced at him. The tone of his voice and body language wasn't one of challenge as it may have been a couple of years ago, but a purely matter-of-fact statement.

Her eyes returned to the traffic and slowed for a stop sign. She had to concede that he was right, "I decided that I wanted the Harley and my parents had made it abundantly clear that if I wanted it, then I had to pay for it."

"I think Mother would have drawn the line at that too."

"Really? I've always got the impression that you became a master guilt manipulator and Martha never got to the point where she could deny you anything," from the corner of her eye, Kate saw Castle shrug.

"She's put up a good fight on occasion. There was this time –" he started.

"Anyhow," interrupted Becket. "I was shopping with friends on 5th Avenue one Saturday and got spotted. I was 17 and knew that modelling paid considerably more than a proper job and I really wanted that bike. The short story is that the agency put me on their books. My first job was in Jersey."

"Were you dressed as a showgirl for a casino ad?" there was hope in Castle's voice.

Beckett laughed, "no." Their eyes contacted briefly, "I'm sorry to tell you Castle, but even advertisers for the most mundane and unmentionable items want pretty people to photograph."

"Pretty people - why, Detective Beckett, is that a hint of ego I'm hearing?" he teased.

Beckett scrunched up her nose with the memory, "if you must know the assignment was for a fertilizer manufacturer. The place stank to high Heaven."

"I can't see Matilda King outside of Manhattan, let alone at a fertilizer factory."

"Matilda – no; no, that wasn't where I met her." Beckett continued, "There was some small assignments, and being the age I was, I loved the attention, hair, make-up, clothes. Some of the personalities left a lot to be desired though."

"Money?" asked Castle

Beckett nodded, "Even as a "nobody", I was earning considerably more than my friends who were waitressing. I did feel guilty, but I also wanted something more expensive than them. And, on the rare occasions I was allowed to keep an item of clothing or make-up – I shared." Kate laughed.

"So where does Matilda King fit into this story?"

"I got a panicky call – a shoot needed a replacement as the booked girl had been partying the night before and was a mess. I was the only one they could contact before 9 am." Kate looked sideways at her fiancé, "Who knows the girl may have been out with you," she said grinning.

"I would never," he began indignantly. Then stopped, did a year calculation mentally, and said, "Yeah, I may have."

"Matilda was overseeing and was also the principal stylist; I didn't know it was for Modern Fashion. I got there as quickly as possible, which was unusual, so I was already in hair and make-up when she arrived. When she saw me, she went absolutely ballistic at her PA –"

"So, she rode them hard, even then?

"Everything just stopped while she shouted and screamed. I thought she was going to come over and rip my false eyelashes off. Or have a heart attack. I had never seen anyone be that angry before; I was terrified!"

Castle decided to make a mental note to record Paula the next time she was in full flow so he could show it to Kate for a comparison. "What was the problem?"

"Not only did she not know about the replacement, she hadn't cleared me. That's it, but it was enough," Kate shrugged. "So, the commotion brought in Marco who just waited for Matilda to take a breath and said that as I was already made-up why doesn't he just take some test shots and winked at me – "

"The photographer? He winked at you? Did you -"

"Let's just say that the final few weeks before returning to school were fun."

"Cradle-snatcher!" Castle laughed.

"It wasn't just like that," replied Beckett indignantly. "There were galleries and jazz. Marco showed me the avant-garde. He didn't treat me like a schoolgirl."

"The Beckett Onion – I hope to be peeling those layers for many years to come," Castle leaned over and kissed his fiancée on the cheek making her blush.

"Obviously, Matilda liked what she saw and I did the shoot," Kate continued. "I was days away from returning to school, when she contacted me and offered the spread. I knew what the opportunity meant, but by then, I'd spent enough time with Marco in that world to see the dark side – women starving themselves to be girls, drugs to keep them going, being treated like a commodity, the jealousies and sheer fear; I couldn't live like that, so I said no. Besides I'd already achieved the my goal of getting the Harley."

Beckett stopped in line at a red light. She said softly, "I was never the ugly-ducking, Castle. I was always treated different, better. I managed to move between cliques in high school without belonging to any. I was always asked out when many of my friends longed just to be noticed. Until then, I never wondered why; I just accepted it but the time I spent in that circle showed me that it was exciting and alluring but deceptive and shallow." She looked at her fiancé and admitted, "I found the offer intoxicating, can't deny that. For a brief moment, I figured I could take a break from school to see where this would go – see Paris, Milan, London – for a couple of years and then return, with a financial nest egg. Maybe even pay for college rather than relying on mom and dad."

Castle held her gaze, just letting her talk. He had found her behaviour curious at the magazine and he welcomed this chance to find out why. That she was being so open with him now was a constant reminder to him of how far their relationship had progressed and continued to progress.

The car behind them beeped angrily – the lights had changed and Beckett refocused on the road. She drove in silence for a couple of blocks and then pulled into the curb and turned off the engine.

"Nest egg?" prompted Castle.

Kate turned to face him, took a breath and snorted, "Yes, "my financial nest egg". I thought it would be a way of showing mom and dad independence – it was a fun fantasy for all of a couple of minutes." She smiled at him sadly. "Anyway, when everything changed, I couldn't have continued with it."

"Did you tell them about the shoot?" asked Castle.

"Of course! Castle, I was 17, I told mom and dad almost everything. They were cool with the whole adventure; naturally they were worried about reputation of that world. But they gave me the freedom and trust to find out for myself. You know, I think mom and Martha would have got on really well comparing notes about us." Beckett smiled as Castle took her hand. "One of the women in mom's office read Modern Fashion religiously and showed it to her saying that she thought it looked like me." Beckett shrugged. She could see that her fiancé looked at her expectantly, "yes! Marco gave me a copy of the contact sheets."

"Good – you need to show them to me as soon as possible!" Castle studied her before saying, "It was really weird seeing you nervous around Matilda. Did you expect her to remember you?"

"No. She sees models come and go all the time, they're meat puppets to her; would never have thought that she would have remembered me."

"I'd say the very fact that you chose not to pursue the life made you stand out in a way you obviously didn't imagine," came the response.

"At the time, Castle, I remember her as being not too impressed of my decision and until I saw the issue, I did wonder if she would use the photo. It occurred to me that she ran it in the hope that I would see it – how I looked - change my mind and contact her."

Castle beamed at her and leaned in to kiss, "You're always the cover girl in our photos," he whispered lasciviously.