Yoooo. So I've gotten this request from a few different people and let me tell you, this might be the hardest chapter I've ever had to write, like, EVER !XD and it certainly doesn't help that my computer had crashed at least like five times in the last HOUR and deleted my really really good first draft :( . So anyway I really really hope you enjoy this chapter! As always, if you have anything you want to see, please request it because I'm uncreative and can't' think of ideas on my own :))) Anyway I'm SO SO SOOOOO sorry this chapter took so freaking long. I have no excuse, other than that I suck XD. Anyway, hope you enjoy! Please review, they make me happy ;D

WARNING: CONTAINS SUICIDE AND CUTTING

Disclaimer: If I owned Umbrella Academy I would've made season one at least ten episodes longer and season two would be out already

This is based on the Netflix adaptation of the series, not on the comic books

Double Disclaimer: I don't own the cover

Summary: Ben Dies :(

Stick around if you like fluff and angst!

Five has already disappeared (obviously) everyone is 14

"I am SICK of this!" Ben furiously threw his mask to the ground, not even caring about the consequences Reginald would give him for getting blood on the otherwise spotless bathroom tiles. "I HATE IT!" He slammed the door shut loudly, slamming his back into it before slowly sinking to the ground, leaving a trail of blood in his wake. "Is there no end to all of THIS" He stuck his arms out in front of him, watching in disgust as dark red beads of blood streamed down his biceps and off his fingertips, landing with a splat on his shoes. He was disgusted by what he saw; he was disgusted by what he was. He was a monster, a freak, and a poor excuse for a hero. Ben knew he was fighting for the right thing, and he knew that people he had slaughtered were terrible guys but was it essential? That cruel a punishment for just a simple crime?

Ben sat in silence, his mind running wild. Every kill he had ever made flashed before his eye, all of the tears and bloodshed he had caused. Ben knew he had killed more people than the rest of his siblings combined, everyone knew it, though they never spoke about it. They all knew Ben was touchy on the subject, though Reginald was a different story. Ben dug his fingernails into his hand at the thought of his adoptive father, scrunching his face up into a look of disgust and horror. He hated that older man even more than he hated himself, and that was saying something.

Reginald made an effort to remind Ben how many people he had slaughtered over the years, even going as for as to congratulate him for doing so. "Remember to be ruthless, Number Six!" He would always yell. "No one likes a softie!" Ever since Five had disappeared, Ben had become Reginald's new favorite chew toy. Honestly, the fourteen-year-old didn't know how in the world Five had dealt with their adoptive father's abuse for all those years. In a way, he was happy that Five had escaped the horrors of the Umbrella Academy, a feat the others had yet to accomplish.

'Why don't you go and join Five in paradise?'

The thought jumped into Ben's head before he could stop it, causing his eyes to widen in surprise. He had never been the suicidal type, that was always Klaus's deal. Then again, things had changed. "But Five isn't dead," he whispered to himself, "he's just missing."

'Are you sure about that?' Ben's subconscious hissed. This was it. His deepest, darkest desires were all bubbling to the surface, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"Yes?" He replied shakily, more of a question than an answer. Ben's hands trembled as he held them up to his face. They were covered in a thick layer of precious, dark blood, which was now cascading down Ben's arms like a lush, red waterfall. No matter how many times he came home drenched from head to toe in blood, he never got used to it or hated himself less for it. When Ben was younger, he used to reassure himself that someday all of the killings would get easier. After about a year or two, it became evident that it never would.

'Only one way to find out.' Ben's eyes unconsciously slid over to the sink, where a crisp, sharp razor lay waiting. Suddenly, all Ben could think about was how nice and relieving the cold, hard metal would feel on his rough, calloused, and bloodied skin. Immediately Ben shook his head. Why was he thinking these things?! Cutting himself? That was ridiculous! All of those men and women he had murdered deserved it. They had been bad people, made bad decisions. Ben was a good guy, one of the heros...right? Ben's eyes slid over to his exposed wrist. He was already covered in so much blood...a little more wouldn't hurt, right?

As soon as the blade tore through his wrist, Ben felt better than he had in a long time. "This is what I did to all those people," he muttered, slicing his arm once again. His brow furrowed. "Maybe I do deserve this."

A cut for each person Ben had murdered, a slice for every cry of mercy he had chosen to ignore, a wound for every ounce of pain he had inflicted on all of those people. He just kept cutting and cutting and cutting until his wrists were practically raw and oozing blood. Ben held his arms up to his face, observing the enormous amount of blood pooling out of them with mild curiosity. "That's...that's a lot..." He stated drunkenly, blinking his eyes rapidly to keep his vision in focus.

Ben's vision traveled from his wrist to his feet, which were now almost completely submerged in metallic, red liquid. "Huh." Ben's words were slurred, and his ability to walk was failing him fast. The young teenager's legs crumpled out from under him, sending him sprawling to the floor. "I'm gonna die, aren't I," He whispered to himself, though he knew it was more of a statement than a question. He could've called for his family to come and save him, but he decided against it. Ben supposed he had always had these suicidal feeling bottled up inside of him; he would just continuously chose to ignore it. Now that he had finally gotten it done and over with, he was at peace with himself. Plus, Ben assumed too much blood had been lost anyway. Though Reginald could work miracles if he wanted to, Ben decided he would prefer his siblings find him dead than watch him die right in front of their eyes.

Ben could feel his body shutting down. He knew it was over before it happened. Memories Ben had long forgotten bubbled their way to the surface, flashing before him like slides on a projector. "I love you guys," Ben whispered, knowing exactly who those four particular words were meant for. They were for his siblings, the only people who ever cared about him, protected him, and the only ones who had ever made the Umbrella Academy feel like home. As his vision darkened, a relaxed smile found its way to his face. "I'm coming Five."

Ben, you ok in there, buddy? You've been in there for a while." Klaus casually opened the door. "You-HOLY SHIT!" Klaus jumped back from the puddle of blood pooling around his feet. Panicked beyond belief, Klaus scanned every inch of the bathroom, eyes widening to the size of dinner plates when he found what he was looking for. "DIEGO COME QUICK!"

Diego sprinted to the direction of his brother's voice, hair tousled and shirt off. "WHAT! What is-" Diego stopped dead in his tracks, the concern on his face morphing into a look of horror. "Is that..."

Klaus gestured wildly at the unmoving body of their brother, his tear-filled eyes staring at Diego with dismay. "Diego, who's this?" He asked shakily, hands trembling.

Diego managed to tear his eyes away from the awful sight to look at his brother in confusion. "Klaus, what are you talking about?" He whispered, barely managing to keep his voice steady.

"I mean, who is that in our bathroom!" He shrieked, jumping behind Diego for protection. "And why does it look just like Ben?!" Klaus grabbed Diego's shoulder and spun him around until they were eye to eye. "Diego," he whispered, "who is that?"

"Klaus, turn around." Diego murmured, gently turning Klaus's head towards the gruesome scene. "That's not an intruder, Klaus." Diego's voice broke violently, and a single tear fell from his eye and trailed down his cheek. "That's Ben." Diego choked, grabbing a fistful of Klaus's shirt as if to keep himself steady. "That's our brother. "

There was a beat of silence before an explosion of emotion. "NO!" Klaus ripped his shirt from his brother's grasp, sending Diego tumbling to the ground in a mess of limbs and tears. "That is NOT Ben!" He scrambled back to the doorway like a frightened animal, panting heavily. "NOT OUR BEN." He insisted, voice starting to tremble. Klaus looked over to Diego for some form of reassurance, any reassurance. Klaus cast his gaze toward him, but instead of finding his cool and confident brother, all he saw was a sobbing, horrified beyond words, heartbroken teenager who was so distraught that he couldn't even hold himself upright, and that was when it hit him. Ben was dead, and he was never coming back.

Upon this realization, Klaus's brain shut down. Nothing mattered at that moment, nothing except the fact that his brother was dead, his sweet, innocent brother who had never wanted to do anything but good. It wasn't fair, hell, nothing that had ever happened to Ben was fair! He had said it himself, he had HATED the horrors, hated them more than almost anything in the world. Klaus slowly crawled his way over to the foot of the bathtub where Ben lay, broken, bloodied, and bruised. The troubled teen covered his mouth in horror with one hand while furiously raking his hand through his hair with the other, slicking his curls back with dark blood. "Ben..." He whispered, voice cracking violently as he pulled his dead brother into his lap. Klaus gripped Ben's blood-soaked uniform, slowly rocking back and forth on his knees. "Ben," Klaus started again, more tears running down his face. "I'm sorry," He choked, pulling Ben's head into his chest, cradling him as one would a baby. "I'm so so sorry...I love you."

Allison burst into the bathroom with Luther right on her heels. "Guys what's with all the scream-" She stopped dead in her tracks, almost sending Luther barreling into her. Allison's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates at the sight of her two brothers, one sobbing hysterically and one gingerly cradling Ben, sitting in the middle of a bathroom practically overflowing with blood.

"What...what happened here?" Luther asked quietly, delicately making his way over to Klaus.

Klaus whipped his head around violently to glare at Luther, his eyes shining with tears, fury, and unimaginable loss. "What do you THINK happened asshole!" Klaus blinked fiercely, sending another waterfall of tears down his face.

Luther raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I thought we agreed we weren't going to say asshole anymore," he said quietly, "I thought we all agreed that word was reserved for Five and Five only."

"Luther..." Allison started, tears of her own beginning to stream down her face as she put the whole scene together. Luther waved her off and turned back to Klaus, who now looked even more furious than before.

"Don't you even DARE say Five's name around me," Klaus growled, hugging Ben's body tighter. "You don't DESERVE IT!" The teen shot up from his kneeling position, sending Ben's limp body tumbling to the ground.

"Hey! Don't drop-"

"SHUT UP LUTHER!" Klaus wailed, the pain in his voice clear as day. "JUST SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH FOR ONCE AND STOP PRETENDING! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT US, YOU NEVER HAVE AND YOU NEVER WILL." Klaus shoved an accusing finger in Luther's face. "ALL YOU'VE EVER WANTED IS TO IMPRESS DEAR OLD DAD. YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING TO GET HIS ATTENTION OR APPROVAL, ANYTHING. YOU NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD FAMILY; YOU NEVER HAD," Klaus gestured angrily around the room at his remaining siblings, "WHAT WE HAD, OKAY?! WE WOULD LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER, PROTECT EACH OTHER, LOVE EACH OTHER! AND CLEARLY, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE! YOU KILLED BEN YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD, AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHY? BECAUSE YOU SIDED WITH THE PHYSCO SCIENTIST, WHO KIDNAPPED, ABUSED, AND TORTURED US!" Klaus stared into Luther's horrified eyes. Finally, he understood what had happened. "If you hadn't been there," Klaus whimpered, "cheering that sad excuse for a father on, then maybe Ben wouldn't have committed suicide. Maybe he would've been able to take the pain. But no." Klaus choked, lowering his voice to nothing but a whisper. "It's your fault." Klaus shot a furious look at his now weeping brother, feeling a pang of regret before shrugging it away. Ben. Was. DEAD. And NOTHING else mattered at that moment.

Nothing.

As soon as Klaus shut the door to his room, he immediately went straight to his dresser drawer, cursing all the way. "Where is it where is it! Shit shit shit shit SHIT!" Klaus frantically searched his underwear drawer, a smile devoid of emotion spreading across his face as he felt the familiar feel of a plastic bag in his fingertips. "Thank god." He whispered, releasing a deep breath he didn't know he'd been holding. The teenage boy lifted the bag to his nose, a lazy smile appearing on his face as he did so. "Drugs, what would I do without you," Klaus muttered. In that one plastic baggie, there were enough drugs to keep Klaus 'out of it' for at least a year. But now? Klaus planned to take them all at once.

"I'm coming Ben," he whispered, sobbing ever so quietly. "There's no point anymore. Luther and Allison don't care about anything but each other. Diego's become almost as bad as them since the disappearance, Five is GONE, and you..." Klaus's breath hitched in his throat. He let out a small whimper before continuing, "and you're dead." Klaus's voice broke as he collapsed into tears. "I'm sorry!" He yelled, thrusting his head up at the sky. "I'm so so so so so sorry, Ben!" The boy dug his head into the carpet, letting the shag stifle his sobs. "I love you," he whispered.

"Don't be sorry." Klaus's tear-stained face shot up from the carpet, his mouth making a big 'O' of surprise. Ben smiled at Klaus. Of course, he was looking a little more transparent than usual but other than that Ben seemed good as new. "If anything, I should be sorry." Ben gazed sadly at the cuts on his arms, which Klaus hadn't noticed in the initial shock of seeing his brother again. "I did this to myself, not any of you. It was a rash decision, and I know it was stupid but please, Klaus, you've got to understand that it wasn't worth it. At all." Ben glanced pointedly at the open bag of drugs on his brother's bed. "Don't do anything stupid."

"BEN!" Klaus sputtered, a humongous smile emerging onto Klaus's face. He wiped his tears with the back of his hand, trying to make sense of what he was seeing.

Ben smiled warmly. "You know it!" There was a brief pause before Ben spoke up again. "And for what it's worth, Klaus, I love you too."

I remeber the Umbrella Academy saying they blamed Luther for Ben's death, so I just incorporated a little bit of that in there with Klaus's screaming XD. Plus, I jsut hate him in general so like ya know. Haters gonna hate XD. If I'm being honest with myself, I think this might be one of the worst chapter's I've ever written XDXD, just because I can't truly capture the pain someone feels from a seeing a loved one die into mere words, but I tried my best and people wanted it and you gotta give them what they want, right? XD Anyway, I'm sorry for being a horrible person and keeping you guys waiting for so long. I truly am a monster XD. Anyway, please please please PLEASE leave a review (preferably nice :)) and tell me if you have any requests you would like to see! I have a LOT of them! Anyway, thanks guys and gals! Peace outttttttt! LOVE YA! HAPPY SUMMER