Chapter Four
"I hear you're a first-rate pilot." Poe had just brought the Iron Mountain into the inner stratosphere of Naboo. "If your co-piloting skills are any indication, I think I should worry for my own job safety."
Rey shook her head. "I'm sure I'm not anywhere near your caliber. But on Jakku, you sort of pick up on things. I'm fair enough."
"Well, if you're alright with it, I think I'll let you take over for this leg of the trip. I've got to go have a word with Vee Burrell before we reach D'Qar. I can assist you into hyperspace."
"I can pilot, sure," Rey nodded. Switching controls, Rey took the lead readily, hoping she didn't seem like she was eager to show off. Once they were out of orbit, Rey punched the hyperdrive, and they were off. At this point, Poe had all but taken his hands off the controls as he watched this extraordinary girl take to flight like a fish to water.
He smiled, and unbuckled himself from his seat. Standing, he put his hand firmly on Rey's shoulder. "Not bad, kid." Rey's eyes narrowed as she shot Poe a warning glance. Biting his lip, Poe gave Rey's shoulder another squeeze, and walked away.
In his wake, Rey sat stewing. She didn't know whether to be mad at Poe for calling her "kid" again, or what ever else there was lurking in the recesses of her mind. Whatever the cause, her face felt hot, and she was thankful that he'd left her there to pilot alone. They would be out of hyperspace soon, which she could manage on her own, but landing would be easier with a co-pilot.
She took a few breaths to calm herself, and brought them out of hyperspace. As soon as she'd done this, Poe slid back into his chair, and looked at Rey. "You did well tonight. Lucky we didn't run into any First Order."
"Lucky," Rey repeated, unsure what to say.
Within twenty minutes, they had landed on the tarmac, which was visibly subdued by Resistance standards. The fact that it was well past midnight did not escape Rey's mind. For a moment, she felt a pang of guilt that she'd left Finn. Yes, she'd been on orders from General Organa, and by extension Poe Dameron, but she felt that she should have been by his side.
Still, Rey didn't abandon her post, and helped unload the crates of supplies, and helped the elderly refugees disembark. Once they were safely off the cargo ship, and all the cargo had been secured, Rey approached Poe hopefully.
"Command—Poe," Rey started, wringing her hands. "I've been away for more than I'd like. Do you need anything else? I was kind of hoping—"
"I'll come with you," Poe said. "I haven't seen him yet. He was out cold the last time I tried."
"Oh," she replied, tiredly. "Yeah, of course." So he, she, and BB-8 all made their wordless journey to the med wing.
Finn, of course, was asleep when they both got to his bed. One of the nurses filled them in on his condition.
"He's been ordered to lay on his stomach for a few days longer, while the bacta poultices are changed every few hours. Then we'll allow him on it again, and we can start rehabilitation. He's really very resilient."
Rey looked back at her sleeping friend with a heavy heart. Again, she felt that the pain of another was her own fault. If she hadn't underestimated Kylo Ren in the forest, maybe he wouldn't have knocked her out the way he did, leaving Finn to defend for himself. She sighed, forcing herself to abandon this feeling for the moment, and approached Finn carefully.
Again, she placed a kiss on Finn's forehead and walked away, disregarding Poe.
Just as she thought she might be rid of him, he was trailing her once again.
"You care for him, don't you?" he asked from behind her.
"What sort of question is that?" Rey turned to face Poe. "Of course I care for him."
Poe gave a half smile. He knew she didn't understand his meaning. "He's lucky to have you," he added, guiding her to where he was going.
"It's not—" Rey threw her hands up. "It's not like that. Why does everyone always go there?"
"Everyone, huh?" Poe countered, his devilish grin widening.
"He came back for me. He could have left me to… him, but he came back for me. That kind of loyalty… He's the first friend I've ever had." As the words came out of her mouth, Rey felt her collected exterior begin to falter. Tears welled in her eyes, and she knew that if she blinked, they would fall.
She didn't want to fall to pieces like this in front of Poe Dameron, but each time she had encountered him, there had been something about him that made her feel she could be this open. It both comforted and frustrated her.
Rey crossed her arms, hugging them to herself, and looked up at the low ceiling to distract herself and avoid Poe's eyes. "I might as well have done that to him myself." She shook her head.
"You can't say that," Poe said, his dark brown eyes narrowing. "That's not fair to you or to him."
"But you don't know," Rey said. "No one knows."
"No one needs to. Because you're a good person, it's as clear as day. And I'm not going to let you stew in whatever guilt you've cooked up for yourself, so you're coming with me."
"What?" Rey responded.
Poe grabbed Rey's hand gently, and started pulling her in another direction, walking with purpose. "It's an order, Rey. You're not off duty yet."
"And the hand grabbing…" Rey muttered under her breath. Poe chose to ignore it, and walked her down a long tunnel to a far hangar. "Where are we going?"
Poe stopped Rey just as they were about to enter the hangar, and turned her so they were a breath's width apart. BB-8 skittered ahead, into the hangar. "You and Finn are just about the bravest people I know, and I'm not going to sit by and let you feel guilty for the actions of the First Order. You don't seem to have a very high opinion of yourself." Rey opened her mouth to protest, but Poe continued. "At least you think no one here does. But if you just give them a chance, I think you'll find that that's not true."
"Them?" Rey asked, trying to distract herself from their proximity.
"There're a few of my pilots from the squadron who were going to celebrate our victory. The last day or so has been a bit disjointed, but… before we move planet, we wanted to revel a bit in it."
"Oh," Rey said, heart sinking. There would be people. She thought she'd just about had her fill of new people for a whole lifetime.
Taking her short response as acquiescence, Poe pulled Rey into the hangar, where there were at least fifteen pilots all congregating around makeshift chairs. The growing sound of their raucous banter made Rey want to double back, but something about the way Poe held her hand made her stay. She promised herself silently that if it turned south, she would retreat for the hangar with the cots.
One by one, the pilots all turned and stopped talking, waiting for Poe to say something. Their drinks were frozen in their hands. Poe put his hand on Rey's shoulder, and spoke to the bunch.
"Guys, this is Rey, who I'm sure you all know helped us with Starkiller. She and I just finished our supply run to Naboo. Thought I'd bring her along…"
Poe let go of Rey, and headed towards the cluster of pilots. He slapped one on the back, and grabbed the bottle from his hands. "Glasses?" The pilot pointed, and Poe grabbed two, pouring an unidentified liquid into them.
Rey thought she would die from the silence. Just when she was ready to leave, one of the pilots grabbed the glass from Poe and brought it to Rey, extending his hand. Rey took it. He was heavier set than Poe, with brown hair and kind eyes. He shook her hand and replaced his with the glass. "Snap Wexley, good to finally meet you."
"And you," Rey said.
"We all appreciate what you did on Starkiller."
Rey nodded her acknowledgement.
"Yeah, what did you do exactly?" a pilot spoke up behind Snap. A female, built about the same as Rey, sat at the cluster of makeshift chairs and recliners. She sat on a large spare tire, sipping from her glass.
"At ease, Pava." Poe came back to Rey, putting an arm around her shoulder, walking her over to where the female pilot was seated, and tapped her foot with his to tell her to move over. As she complied, the girl huffed, and made room for Rey.
"You'll have to forgive Jess, she's a bit of a ballbuster."
"I do try, but most of you make it so easy it's hard to resist," Jess replied. The rest laughed, and suddenly the awkward introduction period seemed to be over.
"So, as I was saying before, I had no idea he was there in the first place. So there I was, damn him this, the hell with him that… All the while he's right behind me, just nodding his head."
That drew a snigger from a fair few of the pilots. Rey considered the liquid in her glass. Not knowing what it was, she brought it to her nose and sniffed. It had a spicy aroma about it, and putting it to her lips, Rey found that its taste was equally powerful. It burned her mouth and throat as it went down, but Rey hid it well, clearing her throat lightly, listening to the story.
Poe watched Rey, seated across from her. He grinned to himself as he observed Rey trying the Vaschean rye for what he assumed was the first time. He made a note to himself to watch her consumption, and to ensure she didn't drink too much.
Much of the night progressed this way. Rey listened politely, laughing when appropriate. She would look over at Poe intermittently, catching him looking at her. Only, he never averted his eyes, which unsettled Rey, causing her stomach to hitch. After her second glass of rye, she began to settle in a little more, even offering comments. The rye made her head a little fuzzy, but otherwise she just felt at ease.
Unsurprisingly, the conversation turned to the events that transpired leading up do, and during the battle at Starkiller. Each pilot took their own turn recounting what they took away from the battle. Much of it was the same. Rey knew where the conversation was headed. She finished off her second glass, preparing herself for it.
The conversation halted a moment, and the boldest of them all spoke up. Again, it was Jessika Pava who pushed the subject.
"How was it… down there?" she asked, this time with no hostility, only curiosity.
Rey took a deep breath, looking at all the expectant faces. She let it out, looking to the bottom of her empty glass.
"Guys, she doesn't have to tell us—" Poe began, holding up a hand.
"No…" Rey started, hesitating a bit. "No, I suppose everyone ought to know. If only to put an end to speculation."
"So," Jessika leaned in, "was it Kylo Ren who… killed General Solo?"
Rey nodded. "He didn't look like he expected it. I think he thought he could get through to him."
"And you," Jessika continued. "You fought him."
"I did."
"Is he… could he be…"
"Dead?" Rey raised her eyebrows. "Maybe. Not the way I left him, but unless he got off the planet, he must be. I don't know."
"How did you fight him?" Jessika asked. "I mean, he's on the dark side. Snoke's puppet. I guess what we're all wondering is how you, a scavenger from Jakku could—"
"Easy, Jess," Poe warned.
"No, I want to know. How did you beat him?"
Rey reached for the bottle of rye, pouring herself another few fingers of the stuff. After a few sips, she she sighed, preparing herself. She looked at Poe. She would much rather it just be him to whom she was speaking. "The longer I was there, the more I felt something growing inside me. I could see into his mind, like he does. I could persuade people to do what I told them." Her gaze sharpened on Jessika, her tone edging on defensive. "And yes, even on Jakku, a lowly scavenger such as me could learn to wield a weapon well enough. I don't understand what happened, nor do I know how I was able to get out of it alive, but I did."
Rey placed her fingertips over her lips, wishing she hadn't said all that. Rey stood, handing her glass to Jessika, with the remainder of the contents sloshing around.
"I'm sorry, I've had too much," she ran her hands over her hair, which felt like it had loosened a bit. She smoothed the small fly-aways. "I'd better get some rest." Rey walked away slowly, not bothering to look back as Snap back-handedly swatted Jessika's arm.
"Did you have to?" He asked her.
"What?" Rey heard her voice in the distance. "I'm apparently the only one man enough to ask."
Rey chastised herself. So desperate to earn the favor of the squadron, she'd given them more than they needed to know. More than she wanted them to know. She felt that all she was, was no more than a vague curiosity. Upon standing, Rey began to feel more of the effects of the rye, her face running hot. As she walked away, down the empty, concrete hallway, Rey began to pull her already-loose hair out of their knots.
As the last of the knots was taken out, she heard footsteps growing behind her. Scrunching her face in mild annoyance, she stopped walking, not bothering to look back at who she knew was Poe. Before long, she felt his hand at her elbow, coaxing her to face him. When she did, she saw the remorse in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry she pressed you like that. She's like that. She just… idolizes Luke, and I think she's jealous of you."
"Jealous?" Rey felt like her eyelids were far too heavy. "What has she got to be jealous about?"
Poe desperately wanted to tell her that Jessika took too much pride in being the prettiest pilot amongst a sea of male, testosterone-driven pilots, and anyone as beautiful as Rey was bound to drum up those type of feelings. But he held back.
"She just doesn't like competition."
"And here I was, thinking the competition was the First Order," Rey said, swaying slightly, running her hands through her loose hair, smiling drunkenly. She closed her eyes. She felt like she could fall asleep on her feet. Suddenly her eyes were jolted open when Poe steadied her with his hands on either side of her arms.
"I let you drink far too much," he said. "I'm sorry. I just wanted them to be more accepting of you. I thought if they just sat down with you they'd be a little more at ease."
"I just don't know where I fit," Rey said, opening her eyes, and looking up at Poe. "No one can tell me. I suppose there's one person who can." She shook her head. "And I don't want to go." She chuckled to herself.
Poe didn't know what to say. He knew the burden that was about to be placed on Rey's shoulders was a lot to handle. Even a scrapper like her was bound to falter.
"No one's forcing you to…"
"Oh," she said, nodding slowly. "But who else? Who else will be the one to convince Luke to come back? I never asked for any of this." The weight of everything came crashing down on Rey, and her eyes filled with tears. Too inebriated to quell her emotions, she let the tears fall. For a moment she wept silently before Poe found himself pulling her to him in an embrace.
In any other situation, Rey would have objected to hugging a virtual stranger. But before her was a man whose calm demeanor set her at ease. Without question, Rey melted into Poe's embrace, holding onto his flight suit for support.
"I do know a little bit about what it was like to be held by the First Order," Poe said softly. "So, even as an experienced commander in the Resistance, they still broke me. And I can't imagine what it must be like for you, who's been thrust into this so quickly."
"It's too much," she said, calming a bit.
Poe pulled back, and looked at Rey. Without question, he brushed away her tears with his thumbs. "I owe you and Finn for so much. My life. The success of the mission. So, if it ever gets to be too much, I can carry a bit too."
Rey blinked at Poe, searching his eyes, her senses dulled, but still aware of the tightness in her chest. "I think you already are."
AN: Thank you for the kind reviews, guys! Yes, this is definitely a slow burn story. I really hope I haven't gone overboard with the schmaltz. I really do appreciate you taking the time to review. It definitely inspires me to keep working.