The Super Star Wars presents:

The Tenth annual Popstar's Strongest Man contest!

"Welcome everyone, to the World's toughest man contest! Today we have many contestants here for a nonexistent reward of 10 gold Coins! Our first round: Kirby vs. Bandana Dee!" A cliché sports announcer said to everyone at the Megaton Punch stadium. The audience was in hysterics due to all the buff, strong men standing around flexing their muscles as all the swooning women and men will tell you. Meanwhile, Parasol was trying to warn Kirby about how horrible an idea this is.

"This is a horrible idea!" Parasol yelled for the fifty third time straight since being told of this development by Kirby. The pink orb was currently wearing a headband and waving to everyone as he entered the coliseum for the contest. Kirby then faced his stone platform and started to focus his chi.

"Right now we have our seventh round in the preliminary competition: Kirby," Kirby stood at his side and blew kisses to all the members of the audience. The women and men all swooned, much to Parasol's confusion. "And Bandana Dee!" Bandana then stepped out, waving wildly at the audience as people threw roses, candy, and sheep stomachs at the cute lil'… thing. Kirby and Bandana watched their platforms, power meters and target reticles moving about until both competitors slammed into the earth.

"And the winner is… Kirby!" Everyone cheered as Kirby stood in front of a big, but not very big crater while Bandana tearfully ran from his "Even Glass Joe could do better," rut in the ground. A man wearing a cloak and mask watched Kirby alongside Parasol.

"Oh Yessssssss…." The man in the mask said with an unnervingly high level of eagerness. "That boy hasssssss lotsssssss of potential." Parasol looked at this man curiously.

"Excuse me sir but, what is wrong with you?" Before the old man could respond, a blue orb with a face that can only be described as "Herpy Derpy" popped out of Parasol's sun umbrella and offered his analysis.

"Parasol, you should be ashamed of yourself! It's obvious this poor old woman is currently suffering from Heat Stroke!" Gooey said urgently.

"What?!" Granny said in outrage.

"Come on Edna, I'll take you home now." Gooey then extended his tongue only for it to be slapped by Grandma.

"How dare you missssssstake me for sssssssome elderly old woman! Lisssssssten to me you pint sssssssized pile of Dark Matter: I am the great Nightmare! And although I am not back to full power yet I ssssssshall- Er, I mean I'm not old!" The-Old-Woman-Who-Is-Totally-Not-Nightmare-What-Ga ve-You-That-Idea hissed in her threatening-but-not-really English dub voice. Parasol looked completely baffled but Gooey looked nervous and a tad guilty.

"Next Round: Kirby vs. Knuckle Joe!" The announcer shouted, finally lifting the tension off the little group as Knuckle Joe ran into the arena and did a few practice punches.

"Hey Joe!" Kirby called out to him from afar, "How's life!?" Joe glanced back and replied.

"Pretty average, I'm still unlocking the key to ultimate power. Hey, Good luck out there!"

"You too!"

The two then focused their chi, targeted their rocks and when their bodies were ready, they slammed their fists into the stones. Again Kirby was the victor while Joe cursed himself and all the Amazonian gods with whom he allied with. Said Amazonian Gods decided that perhaps they should extend their coffee break for another half hour.

Mr. The-Old-Woman-Who-Is-Totally-Not-Nightmare-What-Ga ve-You-That-Idea looked at the arena again. "Yesssssss…" He whispered as not to be disturbed by any other yodels. "It isssssss nearly high noon… Excellent. When it isssssss high noon, I ssssssshall reveal myssssssself and when the light reflectsssssss off my brilliant chin, it ssssssshall catch Kirby in the eyesssssss allowing me to run over and punt him into the sssssssunssssssset! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…"

"Final Match: Kirby vs Iron Mam!" Everyone cheered despite the fact that said tournament seemed to only last three rounds. This time a being made almost entirely of iron with two orbs for hands entered the arena. Kirby extended a hand in greeting.

"Sir, let me just say that I feel honored to be participating with you to-" Suddenly Mam picked up Kirby and threw him clear of the arena. Despite this, her voice was loud enough to be heard quite clearly from his current position.

"ARE YOU BLIND? I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW I AM A 69 YET STILL BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WITH TWELVE KIDS!" She then turned to a group of similar yet young beings. "SAY HI KIDS!" "hello." "THEIR DADDIES RAN OUT ON THEM, BOTH OF THEM! AND WHEN I FIND THEM I'LL RIP OFF THEIR *******, TIE THEM TOGETHER, FRY THEM, AND SERVE THEM AT THE BRONX STADIUM FOR $5.99!" After that announcement, Giovanni, seated in the "Evil Fathers and Sons" section of the stadium, decided at that moment to notice the really neat corncob holders built into his chair and hope his don powers would activate at some point. Meanwhile, Bowser, the only one who wasn't shaking in fear orbuying earplugs simply looked at his lap and smirked.

"The joke's on her." He thought boastfully. At last, those ex-girlfriend pregnancy scares finally paid off!

Kirby reentered the stadium and stared down the graceful lady, all sense of play gone, looking very much like the North American covers of his video games. He started focusing his chi.

Nightmare looked at the sun in the sky. Only fifty seconds until High Noon! What luck! Unfortunately Nightmare's, and everyone in the stadium's, luck ran desert dry as Kirby turned yellow, grew blond hair and tore into the sky.

"I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO!" And so Iron Mam copied Kirby's transformation and flew after him. Everyone in the stadium was confused except for Meta Knight who, despite him being thousands of miles away in his aircraft hangar, put a hand to his mask and sighed in annoyance.

In the stratosphere, Kirby stopped rising, turned toward the planet, pulled back his arm and started descending. Mam caught up and did the same. Light was now intensely radiating from them as they fell.

"Falcon…"

"MAM…"

"Kirby, no!" Parasol shouted, tears running down his, and Gooey's faces while Ms. The-Old-Woman-Who-Is-Totally-Not-Nightmare-What-Ga ve-You-That-Idea watched, dumbstruck.

"PAWNCH!"

The arena was silent as Mam and Kirby's crack traveled cleanly through Pop Star. More silence… then Pop Star broke in half.

"You… dumba**e*" Parasol sputtered while floating in space.