Title: Not Done Hurting

Author: Half-Human

Summary: Addison leaves, Meredith leaves, what is Derek going to do? What happens to our beloved Vajayjay Queen? Guest starring: characters from Law & Order: SVU. NOT A CROSS OVER. Just some guest starring...you don't need to know anything about SVU. ;p
ADDEK

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all its wonderful characters belong to the genius Shonda Rhimes and everyone who's helped put this drama together. Law and Order: SVU and all its characters also aren't mine…unfortunately. What I'd give to have the criminal justice system at my disposal…hmm. ;)

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, they really are what keep me writing, lol-->i'm pretty lazy ;p I was planning on posting this later on, but someone posted a story of a similar nature, so I couldn't help myself. …;p Slight warning toward the end. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!

-8-8-

That night in his trailer, Derek couldn't sleep. He tried to catch up on his paper work, but found that he couldn't concentrate. He had taken a hot shower, had some tea, and even tried to count sheep. Nothing. His mind was numb from thinking about the day's events…and about Addison. How had he managed to lose so much? He had left his wife, fell in love with Meredith, returned to his old love, then lost her, then lost Meredith. He continued to think of his two relationships, wondering how they went so wrong and which one was the genuine one, the one that he was meant to have but screwed up. Hours passed as he pondered the various implications of his situation. He thought he'd never get some sleep, and he was actually correct. The moment his eyes were closing and he was losing consciousness he heard Meredith's words ring in his ears, "Don't deny yourself Derek, you still care for her…"

Derek jolted up from his bed. Meredith was right, it was Addison that he loved, that he needed. It was her laughter that he missed in the morning, her scent he loved to bask in under the covers, and her attitude he loved to deal with. He groaned as he realized that in less than a week his trailer had lost its faint scent of Addison's perfume and had returned to the smell of aftershave and dingy socks. He quickly unplugged his cell phone from its charger and looked up a familiar number. It rang three times.

"Hello, Weiss, hey this is Derek, I know its early over there but I have a problem."

"Hey Derek, no worries, I'm already up and off to work." Derek forgot about the time difference and the fact that he hadn't slept at all throughout the night. He heard the morning hustle and bustle of the streets of Brooklyn in the background. "What's up man?"

"I'm sure you heard about Addison-"

"Yeah. I'm sorry about everything Derek, but I know everything will work out. If you need to talk, I'm here. I know you wanted this divorce, so you will be fine…it is kind of weird though. I love Addison like a sister and she is-"

"Weiss, I…" Derek didn't know how to begin, "Weiss, I regret what I did. I don't know what I did. I…It was a mistake." Derek heard Weiss sigh over the phone. There was a long pause before he spoke.

"Man Derek…are you sure? From what I heard, and forgive me but I did speak with Addison, you were really…sure about the separation."

"Weiss, I know, but I was angry, we had an argument, it all came out. I haven't even turned in the divorce papers yet. They're signed, but I feel like ripping them apart. I wasn't thinking, and I thought that I could fix-"

"Alright, alright. How about you just call her Derek? Just speak with her. Maybe, somehow, I don't know, with a very persuasive speech or something, she'll listen to you. …I don't know man…"

"No Weiss, I can't. I just can't. I don't have it in me. And…goodness, she was also responsible Weiss! I tried-" Derek felt himself growing angry and frustrated. He hated how whenever dealing with Addison he felt so many emotions. He took a deep breath and continued, "Weiss, I just need a favor. That's all."

"What is it Derek?" Weiss sighed. Derek could almost hear Weiss' thoughts of "you are unbelievable Derek!" but chose to dismiss it.

"I want you to look after Addison, just check up on her now and then."

"Derek, I always do that. I told you, she is like a sister, I love Addison. In fact she is staying with us this weekend. We are going to-"

"I know, I know. I mean, can you…keep me updated? Tell me how she's doing?"

"Derek, I'm not going to be your little spy. Just man up and call her. Seriously."

"I don't want to hurt her." Derek finally let out, voicing his concern. Weiss sighed once again, and responded.

"Fine Derek, but you have to call me …and don't you think this is some secret of ours. Savy and I share everything. I'm doing this because you're my friend Derek, but I want to let you know that I rather see you try to fight for her, than let her go and watch her on the sidelines." Derek ignored his last comment, he just felt so grateful that Weiss agreed to keep in touch with him.

"Thank you Weiss, thanks so much. It's just that I need time, and I want to give her time too. I don't know, maybe if I know she is doing fine, with time I'll be ok…I don't know..."

"Ok. Well I'm just about to head into the subway; the car is in the shop. I'm going to have to let you go."

"Ok, take care Weiss, and thanks again. I'll be calling soon."

"Fine, talk to you later then." Derek heard the clicking sound of the phone and was overcome by a sense of relief.

-8-8-

The following weeks after that night Derek called Weiss periodically. Every two or three days he'd phone his buddy over in NYC and ask him what was going on. "She's doing fine Derek," Weiss told him one evening. "Savy and her went out shopping yesterday and I swear, they cleaned out this boutique on 7th avenue!" Derek had to laugh. It was so Addison.

"That's great Weiss, I hope she is doing fine. I just want her to-"

"Well…" Weiss interrupted.

"Well what?" Derek asked, slightly concerned.

"Well, although she goes out a lot, she sometimes seems distracted and distanced. I don't know, its still early, but even Savy has noticed it. Of course I don't know all the details about their girl-talk," he chuckled slightly, "but I think that she is still having a hard time adjusting. That's normal though."

"Yeah…I know," Derek said solemnly, as if Weiss was addressing him. "If it gets worse, tell me, ok?"

"Sure, but honestly, what good will it do? Derek, you need to stop doing this. You either want to mend your relationship or you want to end it. Choose, this 'keeping an eye on Addison' is pretty detrimental, you know what I mean? You can't do this to yourself. Besides, I am starting to feel like a spy. What you're doing is creepy and fairly pathetic." Weiss didn't get a response from Derek. "-Sorry. I didn't mean that, its just that-"

"Its ok Weiss, I get it. Fine. I'll stop the incessant calls, but promise me you'll call me if anything gets weird, because…because I still love Addison," Derek was shocked he actually said it, "and I-"

"Ok Derek. Fine. I have to go. Savy and I, well we have something planned for tonight." Derek smiled. He loved the relationship his friends had. He loved that they were able to work things out between them. He loved them and he envied them. Why couldn't he have what they had?

-8-8-

Weeks passed before Derek called Weiss again, and his conversation was more about what was occurring in with Weiss and Savannah than what was happening with Addison. He never stopped thinking of her though. She was always in his head, in the back somewhere, always popping up whenever he'd see a redhead, or a very-pregnant woman, or a nice pair of stilettos… Weiss had simply said that Addison had grown more distant, but that she seemed to be managing. "She ran into Mark," Weiss told him during that conversation. Derek immediately made a fist and grimaced. "Savy told me that Mark tried to woo her and ordered like a truck-load of flowers. Her office looks like a damn floral shop." Derek was steaming. He clenched his cell phone in his hand, and hoped that it wouldn't break on him. Why hadn't he pummeled that son of a bitch when he had the chance? Why did he simply walk away when he caught him with his wife? "Derek?" Weiss asked, as he heard nothing from his friend.

"Yes?" Derek managed to say, anger and jealousy surging through him.

"Don't worry. Addison didn't fall for him. She told him she wasn't ready. Savy said that Addison wants nothing with him but friendship. I just hope he gets that message, the bastard seems persistent." Derek rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried to calm down. He took a deep breadth. "Well Derek, I have to go. I have work to do."

"Thanks Weiss. Take care and say hello to Savy for me."

"No problem."

-8-8-

A couple more weeks passed and Derek hadn't heard from Weiss. Derek was starting to accept what had happened and tried to move on. He continued on with his daily routines, and many of them included working with Meredith. Surprisingly, he had gotten over her. She was right all along. It was Addison that he truly loved, and Addison that he never stopped loving.

-8-8-

It was a menacing gray outside and it was pouring. The rain was falling and hitting as hard as hail. "It hasn't rained like this in a while," Derek commented, as he got ready for his afternoon shift.

"Yeah, they said it is going to get really bad, flash floods and everything" Bailey responded, as they both looked out the nearest window. Lighting struck. They heard thunder. "Prepare for accidents, you know its rush-hour, and those streets don't look too tire-friendly." Derek nodded, and as if on cue, Christiana Yang ran up to Bailey and Derek, panting.

"Accident. Car crash. Five hit, two seriously injured. One of them may need immediate surgery."

"Here we go," Bailey said, putting down her coffee.

-8-8-

Derek followed Bailey, amazed at how that small woman could walk so fast. When they reached all of the injured, Derek quickly assessed the situation. Three of them had minor injuries, which luckily included the little girl among the group. He turned to a woman on one of the stretchers. Her head was in a brace and she had several interns checking her. The other person on a stretcher, apparently the one of the drivers, had extensive head injuries. Derek figured he was the one that needed the surgery.

Bailey started barking orders, and Burke was called in to examine the woman on the stretcher. The room was crowded and the floor was dripping wet. Everyone was talking at the same time, and the young girl suddenly began crying when she witnessed the woman on the stretcher begin to convulse. The sudden thunder only added to the tension in the crowded room. Derek was still trying to examine his new patient, when he heard an someone call him.

"Dr. Shepherd…Dr. Shepherd." Derek was not in the mood to be interrupted, the young intern was insistent. "Dr. Shepherd, Excuse me-"

"What!" he yelled irritated. The young intern swallowed hard and then answered,

"You have an urgent call."

"It can wait, can't you see we have an emergency?"

"But Dr. Shepherd, it's the police." Derek didn't know how to respond, he simply called O'Malley and Yang, the closest interns and told them to cover him. Derek, not sure what to expect, ran as quickly as possible to main desk.

"Hello," he said, breathing heavily on the phone receiver.

"Is this Derek Shepherd?" a woman asked on the other line.

"Yes, this is he."

"My name is Detective Benson, NYPD. I work for the Special Victims Unit. This isn't an easy call to make…I regret to inform you that Addison Montgomery Shepherd has been-"

-Click-

The call dropped and was followed by an immediate shut down of all the lights. Derek suddenly found himself surrounded by darkness. He could see nothing, but he felt as if the room was spinning. He suddenly heard dozens of footsteps, people shouting, and the elevated screams of crying child- but it was all muted in a way, everything sounded like some twisted slow-motion soundtrack from the Twilight Zone. He heard murmurs, thumps, and cries, and his mind was spinning, replaying the words he had just heard, "Special Victims Unit. Addison Montgomery Shepherd. Special Victims Unit…" Lightening flashed, allowing a momentary sickly-blue color to wash in through the nearest window. 'What the hell is going on?' Derek thought frantically.

-8-8-

Derek found that he couldn't move; he was frozen. He felt like something had literally punctured him, and he couldn't move for fear of making his injury worse.

"Dr. Shepherd!" he heard a familiar voice call. It was Meredith. She ran to him and pulled him by the arm. "Hurry up," she urged as Derek slowly pulled himself from his strange trance.

"What happened?" he asked, finally in the gist of the situation. His vision had slowly adjusted to the dark.

"Guess!" she offered. Derek looked irritated, confused, and didn't respond, "The storm killed the power, but for some reason, the emergency power hasn't kicked in yet…the chief is really going…going crazy." She said, not knowing what other word to use. They were jogging to where Derek's latest patient was but then Derek stopped.

"Come on, Dr. Yang and Dr. O'Malley need your orders," Meredith said.

"No," Derek said shaking his head, clearly perplexed and worried. He turned and started to leave, but Bailey noticed the interaction between the two. Meredith was shocked.

"Dr. Shepherd, where the hell do you think you are going?" Bailey spat, raising her voice above everyone else's. She was clearly pissed, and she had dark splotches of blood on her chest.

"I have to go," was all Derek could muster.

"Boy, if you do not get your ass over to that patient, you're gonna get it. I'm telling you right now." Derek slowly shook his head, and felt the sensation of nausea build within him.

"Miranda…" he spoke slowly and walked up to her. He rarely called her by her first name, and Bailey eyed him suspiciously. "I have an emergency, I have to go."

"Child, look around! What the hell is wrong with you? What's your emergency?" Derek looked at Bailey and felt tears begin to collect in his eyes. He blinked furiously and ran his hand over his face. Miranda seemed to soften up a little. "Its Addison, Miranda…" he gulped, finding it hard to speak.

"Addison's been raped."

-8-8-

Please R/R. Tell me what you think. Don't kill me though! ;p PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.

-8-8-

ADDEK-ADDICT ALL THE WAY! The Vajayjay Queen Rules. ;p …I really really hope Derek comes to his senses next season…

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