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Chapter 4.

Violet sat in the kitchen with Sirius happily eating a cookie while he read to her from one of the must books from the library that seemed to be keeping her attention until she looked up as if hearing something making his pause and look at the door, before he could think to grab her she slipped out of his hold and ran out the door into the hall with him fallowing behind, as he reached the door way he was just in time to miss her running down the hall around Kingsley and Mad-eye and into Tonks' legs making the pink haired women smile and lift her up with her free arm while the other helped Remus carry Harry's school trunk with the empty owl cage balanced on top.

Violet looked over Tonks' shoulder at Remus her eyes piercing again as she clung vast to Tonks as they set the trunk down at the foot of the stairs before Remus turned away waving his wand so the trunk and cage went up to the room Harry and Ron would be staying in before going into the kitchen not missing either the smile Tonks gave him or the cold stair from Violet, Harry fallowed behind everyone but paused to look at Violet his eyebrows knitting together as he looked between her and Tonks.

"Um not to be rude but is she...er...yours?"

Tonks turned her attention back to Harry and smiled brightly.

"Yes she is, not by blood of corse but I love her all the same. Can you say hello to Harry?"

Violet studied the dark haired wizard for a moment before she smiled and offered her small hand to him.

"I Violet!"

"I'm"

Tonks corrected but it didn't faze Violet who giggled as Harry shook her hand introducing himself.

"Your room is upstairs to the left by the way Harry, I've got to go, Violet will you go up with Harry to find the twins and Ginny?"

Violet looked at the door to the kitchen knowing Remus was beyond it among the others and shook her head clinging vast to her again making her sigh and watch Harry go upstairs before re-entering the kitchen and taking her place across from Remus, she tried not to smile or blush each time she'd catch him stealing a glance at her but failed more than once however as the others talked her attention was mostly on Violet who was making an attempt to change her blonde hair pink coming close many times before she gave up, when Remus got to his feet to give his own report her attention was pulled away from the girl in her lap with whom that did not sit well with as she growled her eyes brimming with tears before she hid her face in the shoulder of Tonks' shirt clinging tightly to her making her blink a bit surprised by the sudden attachment.

"What's wrong Violet?"

She whispered to Violet hoping not to disturb the others but she got no response making her sigh and just rub her back humming softly as she moved her knees to rock Violet until the meeting was finished and she was asleep, Tonks got to her feet holding Violet sighing as her arms gave a sharp pain in protest.

"I can take her to your room if you'd like."

She looked up making an attempt not to blush at the deep velvet voice but guessed she failed as Remus smiled slightly gesturing to Violet who seemed to be out cold.

"You've been holding her all night your arms must hurt."

Tonks gave a small relived smile but it faded as she glanced at Violet.

"If she'll detach from me, I'm not saying she won't wake up and lash out though.."

He chuckled and nodded.

"But if you want it's worth a try."

Tonks carefully detached Violet from herself and handed her over to Remus holding her breath until she seen Violet stayed asleep and actually curled into Remus with a small yawn, she smiled and led him up the stairs to the room she was sharing with Violet and stepped out of the way as he laid her on the bed before watching as Tonks removed the girl's shoes and tucked her in before smiling at him as they walked out of the room softly closing the door behind them.

"Thanks for the help, she'd be sleeping on the couch if I'd of had to carry her because my arms would not have made it."

Remus smiled at her hearing the joking tone in her voice.

"It's no trouble like I said, you'd been holding her all night almost so your arms were bound to be soar."

She nodded rubbing the outside of her forearm looking at the floor as she blushed like she wanted to say something but couldn't bring herself to, he knew the feeling because he felt the question he was yearning to ask her stuck somewhere between his chest and his throat, she opened her mouth and began to say something at the same time he did making them both chuckle and blush.

"You go ahead."

He felt his chest tighten as she looked at him waiting for him to speak her eyes shimmering in the dull glow of the old lamp over her head.

"Would you l-like to go for a drink some time? I understand if you wouldn't want to with Violet and all not to mention-"

He was cut off by a bell like giggle from her and as she looked at him with her hand over her mouth her eyes glimmering with laughter making his eyebrows knit together in fear she was laughing at his innovation until she removed her hand and a soft warm smile was placed on her coral lips making his heart skip a beat then kick into over drive in his throat.

"I would like that very much Remus, my parents are taking Violet this weekend because I have work but I can make time to meet up."

His heart felt like it was ready to burst as he smiled like a fool, she smiled wider and stood on her tip toe placing a soft kiss to his cheek making him freeze shell shocked looking at her confused.

"Payment for helping me with Violet, I'm not exactly sure why she doesn't seem to like you she said herself she doesn't care about your condition so I don't see it."

Remus looked at his feet for a moment before looking back at her.

"She's jealous."

Tonks looked bewildered and gave a halfhearted laugh running her hand through her hair as it turned brown after her fingers.

"Why would she be jealous?"

Remus thought carefully about what he was about to say his eyes glancing at the door before back at her.

"Because your the only one she's been with constantly since you adopted her so she's used to having all of mommy's attention but she sees how we get on and all she knows is I'm taking your attention away from her, she's most likely afraid you'll either start forgetting her or abandon her in favor of me."

Tonks' heart caught in her throat at the thought of how the sweet four year old asleep on the other side of the door was scared she'd be abandoned or forgotten that easily, she looked at the floor and a solitary tear rolled down her cheek.

"I'll have a talk with her in the morning, how she could think I'd just forget her like that is unthinkable I love her so much I don't want to hurt her."

Remus softly put a hand on her shoulder.

"She knows that but the thought of you leaving her scares her like it would any little child."

Tonks nodded giving him a small smile before watching as he went back down the hall but before he was out of arms reach she grabbed his hand flushing so badly her ears went red as he looked back at her.

"Wait...you haven't told me a date or a place to meet you."

Remus felt his cheeks grow warm as he looked at her.

"H-how about Saturday when ever you can leave work at the three broomsticks?"

A smile pulled at the corner of her mouth as she held his hand for a moment feeling the page warn skin before letting it go.

"I can leave as early as 11 on Saturday, I'll meet you there."

He nodded and before he could talk himself out of it he ducked down and placed a swift yet soft kiss to her cheek before going down the hall to his own room softly closing the door behind him, she no more than heard the door shut and she jumped up and down a few times muffling a quite squeal before collecting herself and going into the room and curling up on the bed with Violet unaware that down the hall in Remus' room he was sitting on the edge of the bed running his hand through his hair as he waited for his heart to slow but each time he thought of her, her smile, it would pick up again, he knew he wasn't going to be sleeping until late that night as he laid in the dark looking at the blackness above him making an attempt to sleep but each time he closed his eyes he seen her smile, her eyes, heard her laugh and his heart yearned to feel her in his arms but he couldn't help but feel the crushing thought that she'd never be his, how could she when he was a monster that everyone, even the people close to him, feared slightly even if they didn't show it.

In the morning Tonks was woken by Violet sitting on her back and bouncing.

"Time to wake up! Molly yelled for you!"

She groaned looking at the girl on her back before rubbing her eye sleepily with a yawn.

"Okay okay, I'm up."

She sat up carefully so Violet tumbled backwards on the bed giggling before getting off the bed and going to the door opening it as Tonks got out of bed nodding for her to go ahead down stairs which she did without hesitation and after a moment her giggles trailed up the stairs as did Sirius' laughs, she got out of bed and fixed her hair in the mirror before going into the hall smiling as she seen Remus leaving his room.

"Morning Lupin."

Remus looked up as he heard the angelic voice and his heart was thrown into over drive again but he managed a smile hoping the restless night didn't show.

"Good morning Nymphadora."

She growled her hair flaming red as she stomped her foot like a child having a temper tantrum.

"DON'T CALL ME NYMPHADORA!"

He chuckled shaking his head.

"I still can't see why you hate your first name, it's beautiful and unique and let's face it well fitting."

She rolled her eyes but that didn't stop him from seeing her cheeks and ears turn red with a blush as she walked behind him down stairs on the narrow stair case, they were about half way down and half way through an argument about her name when she gasped missing a step and falling into him, reacting at once he wrapped his arms around her waist pressing his back against the wall and holding her against his chest.

She blushed wildly looking into his eyes as he watched her's in amazement as they turned from grey to a soft blue as they tried to catch their breath from the shock.

"A-are you okay?"

He finally broke the silence but kept his eyes on her's as she nodded.

"Y-yeah I think so, I'm clumsy as hell sorry."

He shook his head and carefully set her on her feet on the stair in front of him but he didn't miss how she kept ahold of his hand as she made her way down watching her feet, they made it to the kitchen door and she let go of his hand after a minute with a small smile before she went into the kitchen and was attacked at once by Violet who was running from the large black dog that had been chasing her around the table despite Molly's objections and to the amusement of Ginny and the others, she lifted Violet onto her hip and looked at Sirius her free hand on her hip.

"Sirius sit!"

At once the dog skidded to a halt and sat on his back legs and his ears flat to his head with a whine.

"It's not fair to chase her around like that and you know that,"

She looked at Violet who had tested her head on her shoulder.

"But you little lady I need to talk to after breakfast."

Violet looked up at her catching a glance of Remus as he slipped in before looking back at Tonks and her face became scared and tears welled in her eyes before she began to struggle to get down.

"DOWN!"

Tonks jumped at the sudden outburst but set her on her feet looking confused.

"Violet what's-"

She didn't get the chance to finish speaking as Violet ran from the room, she looked around confused about what happened before Remus' words from last night rang in her head and she cursed rather loudly running from the room to find Violet, she looked all over the bottom level of the house then began looking over the second floor her heart hammering wildly as she panicked opening the door to the library hoping to find the girl there but to no avail.

She shut the door and tried the last place she dared to go and that was the attic with BuckBeak but as she opened the door it was clear she wasn't there so she turned back around and left going back to the kitchen more than a bit surprised to find Violet curled up in none other than Remus' lap sniffling as he soothed her rubbing her back, her heart both lifted and sank at the same time seeing it as she went to the open chair beside them reaching out to brush a strand of hair from Violet's face only to have her whine and turn away.

"Violet listen, mommy wanted to talk to you about how you've been acting towards Remus, you have been my main focus from the time I adopted you but honey just because I'm spending time with Remus doesn't mean I'm forgetting you, I could never forget you nor would I ever abandon you."

Violet sniffled and looked at her with wet blue eyes.

"Promise?"

Tonks smiled softly drawing an X over her heart.

"Cross my heart baby girl, how could I ever leave such a sweet girl like you?"

Violet looked up at Remus then down her small fingers messing with a loose string on his jumper.

"I sorry."

Tonks smiled looking at Remus who smiled and smoothed the child's hair.

"It's okay, you know if I had someone as pretty as your mom I'd be jealous of someone new coming in and being close to her."

Violet giggled whipping her eyes before moving into Tonks' lap hugging her neck, Tonks held the girl close kissing her head though she was blushing just as bad as Remus as he realized what he'd said out loud in front of not only Sirius but also most of the Weasleys and Harry, Sirius was first to speak up as Tonks left the room with Violet to change her clothes.

"So you and Nymphie have been spending time together?"

Remus looked at the wooden table refusing to meet his friend's stair.

"We've just been talking, we are going out for a drink Saturday but just as friends it's not a d-date or anything."

Sirius shook his head looking at his friend and crossing his arms.

"I don't think she'll see it that way mostly now after Violet has some what excepted you, Nymphie hasn't done very well at hiding that she likes you but you seem so blind to it."

"Even if she does, there's everything and everyone against us, I'm 13 years older than her, I haven't got hardly a knut to my name not mention I turn into a monster every month...if I were to enter a relationship with her the entire wizarding world would shun her and I couldn't stand to see that happen to someone like her."

Remus was expecting his friend to agree with him but was taken aback when Sirius laughed until he looked at him.

"Don't you see Remus, society has already outcast her there's a reason she's wanted to be an auror her whole life, because everyone that knew she was a metamorphmagus called her a freak and told her she'd never get anywhere so she wanted to prove them all wrong and you know what after 5 years she's done it taken everyone that said she'd never go anywhere and made them liars. She can handle being with you because she doesn't care about any of those things you said."

Remus felt his heart ache as he listened to Sirius but he knew he still couldn't drag the 22 year old through the hell that came with being involved with werewolves.

"Sirius I just can not do it! She doesn't deserve it! She'd be better off as far away as possible!"

He was waiting for Sirius to say something but instead his friend was watching horror struck over his shoulder making him turn around to find Tonks who looked more than a bit hurt at clearly catching the wrong bit of the conversation her eyes wet with tears as her pink hair faded quickly to first brown then blue before she turned on her heel and out of the room brushing past Harry with a meek hello as she did so, Remus cursed himself under his breath pinching the bridge of his nose only looking up when Sirius kicked him under the table as Harry sat down, he whinced looking at Sirius who gestured to the door Tonks had just left from and so taking the hint he got up from his seat and fallowed the hall way pausing at each floor to listen but it wasn't until he reached a trap door that lead to the roof.

He took a deep breath before pushing the door open and climbing onto the dawn bathed roof where he found Tonks sitting against the rod iron fencing her knees to her chest, her arms on her knees covering her mouth as she starred down the rotted black shingles in front of her, he wasn't sure what to do or what to say but his heart wasn't going to let him just turn around and leave her there hurt and crying, he opened his mouth to say something but she beat him to it.

"Is that true? You want me as far away as possible?"

She didn't look up at him but he knew she realized he was there and sighed going to her side sitting beside her.

"Yes but not for the reason you think Nymohadora."

She glared at him but said nothing as he continued.

"I don't want to push you away because I don't care for you, I am pushing you away to keep you safe, I'm a monster you deserve so much better than me, someone younger that can give you what you want out of life."

She snorted looking away.

"You're a monster? From the time I started going to Hogwarts, even before, everyone called me a freak because of what I can do they hated me because I was different, sure there were a few people who welcomed me as a friend but even they thought I was a freak and in the end most of them betrayed me, I've learned the hard way that young and whole men can not always be trusted a few have walked into my life then turned and walked back out when I refused to change for them, but...the one that never asked me to change broke me the worst because he left me alone here in London to go work with dragons, I wouldn't have minded it but he...he decided a long distance relationship wasn't going to work and that he had met someone in Romania..."

She trailed off whipping her eyes on her arm and taking a shaky breath.

"You're not a monster Remus, monsters are not just creatures you know, a monster can live inside anyone a true monster is someone who leads a girl on so she falls hopelessly in love then tells her to change everything that makes her special so she's like everyone else or a clone of someone else, monsters are the men that take advantage of a young girls heart and use her to his needs."

Remus felt himself cringe upon hearing what she was saying and his heart pained for her, here sat a 22 year old girl who had been through so much trouble already enough to the point she had learned a lesson most women wouldn't learn until their third marriage to an aggressive person, he opened his mouth to speak but she beat him to it.

"Listen Remus, as childish as I may sound I want you to know that just because your a werewolf doesn't make YOU a monster who you are is what your heart choses, please keep that in mind before you call yourself a monster."

She got to her feet and walked back to the trap door and after glancing back at him she disappeared down leaving him with what she had said as the sun broke over the roofs spilling golden light over everything, he let what she said sink in as he looked at the sun washed shingles.

He had thought he had it worse than anyone going through life from the time he was just a boy being shunned by everyone because he had been bitten by a werewolf then losing his mother at age 10 but things got better for a time when he met James and Sirius but then it all went down hill again during the war, he certainly had a short end of the stick but she had been unfairly given another short piece she had the same amount of, if not more, potential as any other witch but instead people made her an outcast and now he was just making that worse and it made his stomach turn sickly.

He got to his feet and returned back inside the house his mind still reeling as he walked the dark and narrow servants halls, once he reach the kitchen door he could hear the girls laughing and closer by Sirius was talking with Harry he wanted nothing more than to turn around and walk away but instead he entered the kitchen and took his place at the table thankful no one paid him much mind as he looked around, Tonks was making Ginny, Hermione and Violet laugh by shifting her nose into animal noses and Ginny nearly spewed milk everywhere when she did a duck bill and began impersonating Snape before Violet, who was in Hermione's lap, glanced at him then away turning her nose up before blinking as she was lifted into Tonks' arms and placed on her hip.

"I'll be back later girls, right now I need to go or I'll be late for work."

At this Sirius looked up and waved to her as she disappeared through the door Remus watching the door swing shut behind her, once in the front hall Tonks helped Violet with her rain boots and coat before pulling her own boots and robe on opening the door for the girl who ran out laughing as she jumped in the left over rain puddles.

"Hey now, don't get to set and muddy your going to Grandma and Grandpas' for the weekend what will they think if I show up with a mud monster instead of a little girl?"

Violet laughed but took her hand and walked beside her splashing through the occasional puddle now and again making Tonks laugh as they reached her parents' home, she lifted Violet onto her hip did a quick drying spell on her before opening the door whipping the mud off her boots on the mat before walking in looking around at the dark house.

"Mum? Daddy?"

She went to the kitchen setting Violet down as she looked around, the table held an untouched breakfast but the paper was opened enough that the entire front page was readable, she glanced back at Violet who was poking about the dinning room before she looked at the paper and clenched her jaw at the headline that read 'Ministry To Decide Precautions Related To Disappearances That Are Believed To Be The Work Of Azkaban Escapee And Mass Murderer Sirius Black.' she turned the paper over going to Violet who was now in the living room standing by the writing desk looking at the paper on top of a stack.

"What did you find baby?"

Violet glanced up at her then back to the paper so upon looking Tonks found what looked to be a half finished shopping list for potion ingredients, she jerked upright hearing a floor bored creek above them her wand in hand as she held Violet close to her back wand tip trained on the foot of the stairs as the footsteps came closer and closer, Violet let out a yelp as all at once every light bulb around them shattered as a jet of white hit Tonks in the shoulder, swearing under her breath at the pain in her shoulder Tonks grabbed Violet and quickly hid her in the coat closet by the door standing in front of it wand trained at the top of the stairs though she may as well have been fighting blind as who ever, or whatever, was at the top blended in with the shadows.