It's Not Like You

Kurama closed the door to the back room and came into the kitchen. With a sigh, he sat at the table. He pulled out a cracker and pressed it to his lips, but he did not eat it, simply sat staring into nothingness.

"Did she finally fall asleep?" Hiei asked, putting the plate of ham in the fridge.

"Yea, just all of the sudden. She'd pushed her body to its max, I guess."

"Well, it's not like she can feel anything. Everything necessary to tell her brain she's tired has been severed."

"Yes." He blinked and looked over at the demon. "Just do us all a favor."

"What?"

"Don't touch her any more."

Hiei slammed the refrigerator door shut, only to have it swing back open. He pushed it closed.

"I mean it, Hiei. You heard her; she means it."

"I'm staying with her, damn it! I'll set her on a rampage if I want!"

The fox stood, smashing the cracker against the table.

Their eyes met.

"It's the only emotion she has, Kurama. I—" He stopped himself.

Kurama's gaze softened a little. "You what?"

His eyes glanced off. "She screamed when I hit her. Her entire body fell apart. Kurama, she felt when I hurt her. Even if that's the only way to make her feel something, I have to try. We have to try, don't we?"

"My dearest friend, what on earth has gotten into you?"

He looked to the fox's smiling lips.

"You've changed so much since we first met. Humans have a good effect on you." He chuckled warmly, sitting back down.

"Shut up. It just doesn't feel right."

"What doesn't?"

"Letting her live without feeling. You saw her file; she used to be human."

"She still is human."

"She's a shell. You heard her; everything that made her human is gone—besides her short life. The only time she's human is when she's threatened. That's not good enough."

Kurama took another cracker from the box and ate it.

"Say something!"

"You want to see her smile, don't you?"

Hiei faltered, feet spreading to steady himself.

"I have witnessed the softening of the hardest of hearts by a simple smile."

"You've witnessed nothing, fox."

"Ever since Koenma gave us this case, you've been—"

"Eager to return home! But seeing her like this is wrong, Kurama. Being secretive about your emotions is one thing, but this—this is different."

"You don't have to hide around me, Hiei."

"I'm not hiding! She'll die, Kurama, if we don't do something."

He closed his green eyes. "Like what, Hiei?"

The demon threw his hands into the air. "I don't know. Something. Anything."

"That's the way to start."

"If I can just get her to the point of feeling pain, Yuusuke and Kuwabara can take care of the human stuff. And you can teach her what they leave out."

"Hiei, our mission was—is—to save her and hold her until the prophecy is fulfilled. Not to start a revelation." He looked up at his friend. "Why do you care so much about what happens to her? It's not like you."

"We haven't saved her at all if we don't help her now."

"You didn't answer my question."

With a great sigh, Hiei sat, rested his elbows on the table, and put his face in his hands. "I don't know why I care, Kurama. Really I don't. But the moment I saw her picture, something strange and new welled up inside me. This feeling out ranked every other ambition in my twisted heart. It faded when I was told I might be returning to Makai for a while, but when I saw her in that dark cell for the first time, it came right back."

"Love at first sight, perhaps?"

"Don't be an idiot." He blindly pulled a handful of crackers out and through them childishly at Kurama.

Then he stood, as if remembering something of dire importance.

The fox brushed a cracker from his chest. "Something the matter?"

"She left a mess in the bathroom that she said she'd clean later."

"Then it will probably be done. Relax."

"Maybe we should clean it for her. Seeing as how she's been a slave for so long."

"That would be nice. But I must be getting back."

Hiei brought his eyes back to the fox as he stood. "What?"

"I've wasted more time than I intended to here. I promised Mother that I'd grocery shop this evening. Please forgive my sudden escape." He bowed a little and then let himself out of the apartment room.

The demon did not bother to care, though. He walked briskly to a shoddy-looking pantry and opened the broken door. From the shelf, he pulled out a dust pan, and then a broom off the wall. Hiei walked briskly to the open bathroom and began sweeping up the hair.

Then he stopped.

"All for that girl?" He rubbed his nose absently.

That smile.

He finished sweeping the mess and dumped it in the waste bin, straightening.

His eyes narrowed. "For the sake of a human with no feelings. She probably wouldn't have even cared. Why do I? For a smile I've never really seen?"

The empty dust pan hit the floor with a loud clatter.

"Why?"

How many times could he ask himself that and not receive an answer? Forever, if he really wanted to. Hiei was looking for an answer, though. How long would it take him to tire of being given none?

Darkfire leaned in the doorway. "Why does it matter? At least you feel."

Hiei spun around.

"At least you can feel something anymore."

"Do you want to feel again?"

"I don't care."

Of course that would be her answer. "I think you do."

"How can you be so certain?"

"Your eyes."

"What about them?"

"They tell me so." He let the broom rest against the sink. "They yearn for it."

She stepped back when he reached for her. "I haven't forgotten. You shouldn't either. Touch me again, I'll kill you."

Emotion.

Eh, so Kurama was a little sarcastic, perhaps even cynical. But it served my purpose.