"Oh My God!" wailed Naruto, as he woke up in his bed. "I've become a shrimp!"

Truth be told, he died and got transported into the past by Kyuubi.

"I'm a twerp! I'm twelve again! This sucks way too much!"

After moping around for three minutes, he stood up with a renewed resolve, "Alright! I'm gonna punch the world!"

Judging from the purple and green striped, banana-shaped sleeping cap he tore off in repulsed anger, at least some things had changed from the original past. His refridgenerator opened up to reveal nothing but empty beer cans and carrots. He couldn't fathom any possible reason for this, so he decided to ignore everything and go see someone at the Academy.

On the road outside, he noticed even more weird things. The only shopping stalls anywhere in sight were selling kitchen utilities and items. Those stalls filled up both the roadsides as far as he could see in the distance.

"Kyuubi, are you there?" asked Naruto in his head.

"What is it, you miserable mongrel?"

"Why are things so different from how they were?"

"Why don't you ask someone who has lived here?"

"Why are you answering my questions with questions?"

"What did you think I'd answer with, meatbag?"

He passed all the kitchen utensil stores and made his way to the Academy. Instead of finding the building he wanted to locate, he stood in front of the impressive entrance to the Gastrojutsu Academy. It looked like a huge pyramid high in the air, connected to the ground by dozens of rotating circular stairways drilling into the earth like corckscrews. Higher up he could see tiny people standing on the stairs, waiting for the rotation to bring them up to the building or down to the ground.

"I think this can't get much weirder anymore," Naruto thought towards Kyuubi. He received only incessant snipping and whining as his answers.

He stood on an upwards-spiralling stairway and let it take him towards the pyramid.

"I've been here before..." said Kyuubi in a low, growling voice.

"Really? What is this place?"

"It was one of the last stops before ending up in your world, and getting sealed in a worthless meatbag."

"What the? Err, you mean you've been to other worlds before?"

"Of course! I am the Kyuubi no Kitsune, I've been everywhere."

"...Right. So how did you get out of this place?"

"Time travelling disturbs the relation between consciousness and time, turning around what once were the master and his horse."

"What the Hell are you on about?"

Kyuubi growled something unintelligible, and then said, "It's not worth it trying to explain anything that complicated to you."

"What? Just tell me why it's like this!"

"I wasn't always a demon... I was once called John Titor, and I was a time traveller from a very different world."

"Excuse me?"

"Every time you travel through time, it shows you how fickle and cruel a master it is. The longer you travel, the more everything corrupts. First small things change, but it piles up as you travel back and forth. First one in a hundred things has changed, when you travel from there three from a hundred things have changed, and from that starting point another trip changes two out of a hundred things..."

"Okay, I'll just pretend you didn't say anything."

"Shut up, you miserable meatbag! I'm telling this for your benefit!"

"You wouldn't know benefit if it was painted blue and hung from your overgrown nose!"

"That's it, little bitch! You're so dead! I'm going to jump worlds until I end up somewhere where I can get out and torture you until the end of existence!"

"Suuure. Now shut up, we're almost in the Academy."

Just when the stairway pulled Naruto up into the pyramid, he felt disoriented. Like he was someone else than just moments earlier.

A penguin dropped from the ceiling, making a wet smacking sound on the floor just in front of him.

"Nanja kono hetakuso wakewakannee ahoyarou?"

"Just as I thought, there's something sinister going on in this realm..."

"E? Ore nande eigoni shaberugoto ga dekinneettebayo?"

"Close your filthy mouth. I can't understand a word from your incessant mongering."

"Nanja! Uruse, bokekitsune. Ore kairuzo!"

Naruto jumped down outside the pyramid, and just as he made it outside the building, a sinister blimping sensation took place in his brains. The penguin jumped after them and opened its beak, emitting a screaming siren sound that echoed all over Konoha. Naruto and the penguin were in a freefall far over the rooftops.

"Stupid penguin!" Naruto shouted over the noise, as he covered his ears.

"The Hell?" he asked. "I can speak English now?"

"Souja. Mitenotoori, kono yo wa tairagatta bokehanashikotoba no suteba. Subete wa gomi ja!"

"Kyuubi? Er, have you taken your medicine today?"

"Kono Kyuubi no Kitsune wo bakanisurutsumori desuka? Washi wa omaenoyouna chiisana ningen itsudemo yorokobu ni kuu..."

"The Hell? Talk in English, you stupid furball!"

"Washi wa betsuni nihongo wo hanasuki ga neen ja, dakedo... Dou mitemo nihongo ja."

And that was when things started to really go downhill.