OFF THE SET!
Episode 2, Part 2
Those of you who want to see Bin Laden dead are encouraged to read on.
To all Islamic readers, the references to Allah in this episode are not used in a bad way. Besides, terrorists claim they're part of His cause, when they're really not.
[Commercial ripped from same source as Episode 1 Part 2. Don't sue me or I'll shoot you bitch.]
Kid: "Mom, there's a package for you."
Mom: "But I didn't order anything! [opens door] What's this? How sweet!"
Data: Eeek Eeek! (translation: Hi there, I'm a monkey!)
Mom: "Gee whilikers, it's a cute little puppy!"
Data: Eeek Eeek Eeek! (translation: I'm not a puppy asshole!)
Announcer: "Everybody loves a puppy! And now you can ship one anywhere, just by logging on to UPetService.com! UPetService.com delivering little bundles of love in a box directly to your door."
Data: Eeek Eeek! (translation: I said I'm not a goddamn puppy!)
[Back to the show!]
Bud: And we're back! Coming up on the show, Zero gets pranked really bad, but first a little hacking madness!
[Geetz and Gatz dragon form are cruising over Afghanistan]
One fine morning in September 2001 Bin Laden tried to bring America down by bringing the Twin Towers in NYC down. Now we're serving up some good-ol'-fashioned American revenge by doing the same to him, only in HIS territory! So, we invited our good friend Domingo back for another hacking spree!
Down there is his last (open) stronghold, where Osama's managed to acquire some nuclear weaponry. Using the latest in satellite GPS technology we were able to sent Geetz and Gatz there for 'recon.' Little do they know what we've got in store for them and our REAL unsuspecting victims below!
What follows is a compiled radio transcript of the events that occurred on and above ground, in Afghanistan and back. All Terrorist voices are translated for convenience.
Geetz: You see the camp down there?
Gatz: Affirmative, bro. Looks like we've got ourselves the last stronghold.
Geetz: Coordinates recorded. Let's go back to base.
Gatz: I'd like to do that but I can't move!
Geetz: What the hell?! Me neither!
Gatz: [frantic] I'm going down! Damnit gimme something to transfer into!
Geetz: [ditto] We can't do that! We're locked in by some unknown force!
Domingo: Altitude 10000 feet and dropping.
Bud: How much longer till they hit?
Domingo: Doesn't look like more than a minute.
Bud: Good. I want this to be a quick and painful death for that bastard Bin Laden.
Terrorist 1: We have American missiles closing in on our location!
Terrorist 2: Damn. They found us! Give orders to evacuate. I'll ready the defenses!
Terrorist 1: Allah protect you.
Geetz: [like a fighter pilot struggling] Gotta...pull...up...
Terrorist 1: The American missiles are too fast! We must evacuate!
Terrorist 2: I gave the order. It'll be at least an hour.
Terrorist 1: DAMMIT! That's too long! Get everyone out now!
Terrorist 2: All right.
Gatz: [like Geetz] Must...break...free...
Domingo: 5000 feet and falling real fast now.
Bud: Almost there...almost there...
Domingo: 4000 feet...
Terrorist 1: Those aren't missiles! They're not even American!
Terrorist 2: They're birds sent from Allah to destroy us all! Run for your lives!
Terrorist 1: Are you mad! What if they're here to give us our divine reward!?
Domingo: 3000 feet, looks like they're trying to break free from their dragon forms!
Bud: They won't do it. I know they won't.
Domingo: 2000 feet...1000 feet...500 feet...
Geetz: Are those nukes?!
Gatz: I don't wanna be a mutant!
Geetz: Wait! I think I found a way out!
Gatz: Hurry and let me out too!
Terrorists 1 & 2: AWWWWWWWW SHIT.
[The first few milliseconds of a big explosion is heard, then radio cuts off to interference. Then...]
Bud: Did they hit?
Domingo: Yep.
Bud: ...YES! WOO HOO!
[Applause heard in background]
[Present day, in Studio]
Bud: Sadly, it turned out Bin Laden was in Pakistan at the time, but fortunately his dreams of nuclear conquest are shattered, and his army and closest friends were wiped out in the explosion. As for Geetz and Gatz, they were able to leave their dragon forms just before impact. 2 hours later, 2 Predator UAVs were reported stolen from Kandahar Airport.
Once again, we'd like to extend our thanks to Domingo, who is in hiding again.
Now, it's time for OFF THE GAME! The portion of the show where we play nasty pranks on Trigger's non-Legends alter egoes and his friends! On this OTG we head to Future City Nevada, home of the Maverick Hunter Headquarters.
[Future City, Nevada]
[Maverick Hunter HQ, Zero's room]
[Zero is in the (detox) shower, door closed, while his armor is on his bed. His saber is on his 'dresser.']
See Zero's saber on the little dresser? That's gonna be the source of the prank.
[A janitor Reploid enters Zero's room.]
We hacked into the lock and let the janitor in with our special 'Trick Saber,' which is actually a dil...um...trick saber, i guess! Now, watch what he does with the saber there.
[The janitor replaces the Zero Sabre with the Trick Sabre, hides the original in his bucket, under the mop, and is about to exit when...]
Z: [coming out of the shower wearing a towel] HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!
Janitor: Sorry, ma'am, I was just...
Z: MA'AM?! DID YOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A MA'AM?!
Janitor: Um...no sir! I was just cleaning and...
Z: YOU GET OVER HERE AND SAY THAT IN MY FACE ASSHOLE!
Janitor: AAAGH! RUN! [bolts out the door, carrying the bucket and mop over his shoulder]
Z: AND STAY OUT YOU SICK FAG! [slams the door shut] Jeez, some people...
Bud: Let's fast forward to training! Remember, Zero doesn't suspect a thing!
[Training Holodeck, MHHQ]
[a fully dressed Zero enters with X. Zero is holding the trick saber in his hand.]
Z: [to control panel] Sigma X6 version please.
X: So you gonna try to beat him again, huh? Good luck...*ass*.
Z: What the hell did you say?!
X: Nothing! ^_^ [exits the holodeck]
Z: [behind X's back] Stupid fag.
WARNING!!!
[Holo Sigma appears. Zero gets ready]
Z: All right, Sigma, get ready to EAT LASER! GO SABRE!
[Zero switches on his 'sabre' but instead of a laser coming out, it just vibrates.]
Z: [relaxed] Aaaaahhhh...that feels sooooo goooood...
[Zero doesn't notice Holo Sigma charging up his laser.]
Z: Yeah baby...harder...harder... WAIT A MINUTE! THIS ISN'T MY SABER!
[Zero is blown to pieces by Holo Sigma's laser.]
[Back in the Studio]
Bud: Remember when they said that Zero was gonna be put away for a century for repairs? Now we know why! That sabre was actually a repainted Vibro-Magic Dildo!
That's all for tonight folks! Now go to hell!
[END OF EPISODE 2]
This show was brought to you by Third World Bank. Keeping your weapons safe, no matter the cost.
Episode 2, Part 2
Those of you who want to see Bin Laden dead are encouraged to read on.
To all Islamic readers, the references to Allah in this episode are not used in a bad way. Besides, terrorists claim they're part of His cause, when they're really not.
[Commercial ripped from same source as Episode 1 Part 2. Don't sue me or I'll shoot you bitch.]
Kid: "Mom, there's a package for you."
Mom: "But I didn't order anything! [opens door] What's this? How sweet!"
Data: Eeek Eeek! (translation: Hi there, I'm a monkey!)
Mom: "Gee whilikers, it's a cute little puppy!"
Data: Eeek Eeek Eeek! (translation: I'm not a puppy asshole!)
Announcer: "Everybody loves a puppy! And now you can ship one anywhere, just by logging on to UPetService.com! UPetService.com delivering little bundles of love in a box directly to your door."
Data: Eeek Eeek! (translation: I said I'm not a goddamn puppy!)
[Back to the show!]
Bud: And we're back! Coming up on the show, Zero gets pranked really bad, but first a little hacking madness!
[Geetz and Gatz dragon form are cruising over Afghanistan]
One fine morning in September 2001 Bin Laden tried to bring America down by bringing the Twin Towers in NYC down. Now we're serving up some good-ol'-fashioned American revenge by doing the same to him, only in HIS territory! So, we invited our good friend Domingo back for another hacking spree!
Down there is his last (open) stronghold, where Osama's managed to acquire some nuclear weaponry. Using the latest in satellite GPS technology we were able to sent Geetz and Gatz there for 'recon.' Little do they know what we've got in store for them and our REAL unsuspecting victims below!
What follows is a compiled radio transcript of the events that occurred on and above ground, in Afghanistan and back. All Terrorist voices are translated for convenience.
Geetz: You see the camp down there?
Gatz: Affirmative, bro. Looks like we've got ourselves the last stronghold.
Geetz: Coordinates recorded. Let's go back to base.
Gatz: I'd like to do that but I can't move!
Geetz: What the hell?! Me neither!
Gatz: [frantic] I'm going down! Damnit gimme something to transfer into!
Geetz: [ditto] We can't do that! We're locked in by some unknown force!
Domingo: Altitude 10000 feet and dropping.
Bud: How much longer till they hit?
Domingo: Doesn't look like more than a minute.
Bud: Good. I want this to be a quick and painful death for that bastard Bin Laden.
Terrorist 1: We have American missiles closing in on our location!
Terrorist 2: Damn. They found us! Give orders to evacuate. I'll ready the defenses!
Terrorist 1: Allah protect you.
Geetz: [like a fighter pilot struggling] Gotta...pull...up...
Terrorist 1: The American missiles are too fast! We must evacuate!
Terrorist 2: I gave the order. It'll be at least an hour.
Terrorist 1: DAMMIT! That's too long! Get everyone out now!
Terrorist 2: All right.
Gatz: [like Geetz] Must...break...free...
Domingo: 5000 feet and falling real fast now.
Bud: Almost there...almost there...
Domingo: 4000 feet...
Terrorist 1: Those aren't missiles! They're not even American!
Terrorist 2: They're birds sent from Allah to destroy us all! Run for your lives!
Terrorist 1: Are you mad! What if they're here to give us our divine reward!?
Domingo: 3000 feet, looks like they're trying to break free from their dragon forms!
Bud: They won't do it. I know they won't.
Domingo: 2000 feet...1000 feet...500 feet...
Geetz: Are those nukes?!
Gatz: I don't wanna be a mutant!
Geetz: Wait! I think I found a way out!
Gatz: Hurry and let me out too!
Terrorists 1 & 2: AWWWWWWWW SHIT.
[The first few milliseconds of a big explosion is heard, then radio cuts off to interference. Then...]
Bud: Did they hit?
Domingo: Yep.
Bud: ...YES! WOO HOO!
[Applause heard in background]
[Present day, in Studio]
Bud: Sadly, it turned out Bin Laden was in Pakistan at the time, but fortunately his dreams of nuclear conquest are shattered, and his army and closest friends were wiped out in the explosion. As for Geetz and Gatz, they were able to leave their dragon forms just before impact. 2 hours later, 2 Predator UAVs were reported stolen from Kandahar Airport.
Once again, we'd like to extend our thanks to Domingo, who is in hiding again.
Now, it's time for OFF THE GAME! The portion of the show where we play nasty pranks on Trigger's non-Legends alter egoes and his friends! On this OTG we head to Future City Nevada, home of the Maverick Hunter Headquarters.
[Future City, Nevada]
[Maverick Hunter HQ, Zero's room]
[Zero is in the (detox) shower, door closed, while his armor is on his bed. His saber is on his 'dresser.']
See Zero's saber on the little dresser? That's gonna be the source of the prank.
[A janitor Reploid enters Zero's room.]
We hacked into the lock and let the janitor in with our special 'Trick Saber,' which is actually a dil...um...trick saber, i guess! Now, watch what he does with the saber there.
[The janitor replaces the Zero Sabre with the Trick Sabre, hides the original in his bucket, under the mop, and is about to exit when...]
Z: [coming out of the shower wearing a towel] HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!
Janitor: Sorry, ma'am, I was just...
Z: MA'AM?! DID YOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A MA'AM?!
Janitor: Um...no sir! I was just cleaning and...
Z: YOU GET OVER HERE AND SAY THAT IN MY FACE ASSHOLE!
Janitor: AAAGH! RUN! [bolts out the door, carrying the bucket and mop over his shoulder]
Z: AND STAY OUT YOU SICK FAG! [slams the door shut] Jeez, some people...
Bud: Let's fast forward to training! Remember, Zero doesn't suspect a thing!
[Training Holodeck, MHHQ]
[a fully dressed Zero enters with X. Zero is holding the trick saber in his hand.]
Z: [to control panel] Sigma X6 version please.
X: So you gonna try to beat him again, huh? Good luck...*ass*.
Z: What the hell did you say?!
X: Nothing! ^_^ [exits the holodeck]
Z: [behind X's back] Stupid fag.
WARNING!!!
[Holo Sigma appears. Zero gets ready]
Z: All right, Sigma, get ready to EAT LASER! GO SABRE!
[Zero switches on his 'sabre' but instead of a laser coming out, it just vibrates.]
Z: [relaxed] Aaaaahhhh...that feels sooooo goooood...
[Zero doesn't notice Holo Sigma charging up his laser.]
Z: Yeah baby...harder...harder... WAIT A MINUTE! THIS ISN'T MY SABER!
[Zero is blown to pieces by Holo Sigma's laser.]
[Back in the Studio]
Bud: Remember when they said that Zero was gonna be put away for a century for repairs? Now we know why! That sabre was actually a repainted Vibro-Magic Dildo!
That's all for tonight folks! Now go to hell!
[END OF EPISODE 2]
This show was brought to you by Third World Bank. Keeping your weapons safe, no matter the cost.