(A/n) The song used as inspiration for this chapter is: Jumper - Bedlight for Blue Eyes (yes the cover) :)

I climb out of my grate about two minutes before the tea service arrives. I rush to my closet and place my jewelry back into their display cases, and my shoes in their proper place on the shelves. My other attire I place in the daily basket to be taking off for cleaning when the maid comes in. I rush to find the gown that I am was to wear last night, which had been set out before the party for my sleep. I should have come by last night so I wouldn't be in such a rush this morning, but live and learn. I clamber into my bed quickly with thirty seconds or so to spare.

The bed is freezing from my absence in it last night. Amber will be asleep until at least noon today since we no longer take breakfast together as a family. She is allowed that privilege. I do not envy her, I just hate having to constantly prove myself.

I hear the lock in the door click softly. Father had Cedric make a key sometime after having the door enchanted. Father said it was tedious to have him come down every morning to let me out of my room. He was already staying almost every night with me as it was. So it was a private joke for us when the key was made.

Adriana comes into the room quietly. I hear her place the tray on the table in front of the fireplace. She starts a fire in the grate that I had come through no less than 5 minutes ago. She draws the curtains, and gathers my basket from my wardrobe and lets herself out. Allowing me to feign sleep in peace.

She is gone to leave me to my morning. Until Baileywick comes in to tell me my schedule for the day. What I have to get done today, and what face I have to play today. I sigh and roll out of the bed. I walk over to my table and sit and pour myself some tea. I don't put anything in my tea anymore. The stronger it is, the better I feel. I pulled my legs up into the seat. I wrapped my fingers around the cup and placed it next to my face. I was watching the sky, it looked like it was going to snow that day, but with this cold that we have right now. It's not surprising that we would get it. It is definitely colder today than it was yesterday.

I prefer to spend my mornings alone, but it seems a rare event that I get to do this. These mornings where I get to lazily spend my time gathering my thoughts, and preparing for the charades that I am to endure today. Honestly it gets harder to do this every day, but it's my job to make sure that they don't see that. Amber and James haven't been the same with me in years. Not after I went a little crazy, and not after the fact that our country didn't have a queen anymore. They love me, as I love them, but we can no longer be confidants. Father has slowly but surely seen to that. His grief has gotten the better of him and has driven a wedge in the family.

I thought of Clover, and how I missed him. He was gone, his death racked my insides making me dread even the simplest tasks. Rabbits don't live as long as humans everyone pointed out when I was devastated by his death. The weather isn't good for the soul. I need sunshine, but Summer is still a ways off, and I'm left to myself otherwise. Other than Cedric of course. I can't run to him all the time when I need comforting. I should learn to stand on my own. When I am forced to marry I won't be able to take him with me. I am going to have to come to terms with what has happened to me at some point in time. Sadly I just haven't been ready.

I felt a few tears slip down my cheeks, and I hear the door open. Thankfully I am facing the other way when Baileywick enters. I have the twenty seconds I need to compose myself and respond to his schedule for me for the day.

I am to go to the throne room to meet Father, and greet him for the day. I am to read the proposal contracts from the different suitors. I am to pick one before the week is out. I am go to dance lesson, and spend the remainder of my day in solitude studying, and preparing my acceptance letter to the suitor I choose.

I kept my face composed despite the screaming going on inside my body. My body was left in form. Shoulders back and down, ankles crossed, and hands folded in my lap like a lily. I was finally after all this time a near perfect princess. He leaves my room and my day maids attend to my outward appearance. They place me in an off white gown, not so white that is resembles a wedding dress, but a more cream color. The lace my corset to an almost unbearable point, but it's not my comfort that matters at this point. I never wear jewelry if I can help it, but it really isn't my choice. The only thing I am very stern about is that I do no wear the amulet. I refuse to put it back on my neck, so it just sits in the case. After losing Clover I just can't. I can't do it anymore. I don't care about the power it has, I can't do that again. They stick me in a Ruby necklace, one that just feels too much like the amulet. I can feel myself wanting to get emotional, but I swallow it down just like everything else.

They are gone soon after, and I'm able to stand in my wardrobe a moment more and give myself a moment to free a few tears wipe them away and pull to solid form before going to see Father. I regain my posture and leave to see his Majesty.