A/N: Just a reminder that lines in italics are thoughts and italics with quotes are memories; this applies to current memories as well as dreams.

Chapter 4: Two Steps Forward

"Hayner! Hey, Hayner! Wait up a second."

Hayner turned at the sound of his best friend's voice across the sandlot and waited for the blue-eyed blonde to catch up. "Hey Roxas. What's up?"

"Hey, me and some others were going to go to the club tonight, you wanna come? There's this guy that works there I'm sure you'd like."

Hayner sighed. "Not again, Rox, I told you I'm not interested in dating anyone."

"That's what you always say."

"Yeah, and I'm going to keep saying it until you get it." Hayner replied, crossing his arms.

"Come on Hayner, at least give me a good reason why not; I'm sure if you'd just give one of these guys a try, you'd really like one of them."

At Hayner's silence, Roxas sat on a nearby bench and regarded his friend with suspicion. "You aren't dating someone and are too embarrassed to tell me who, are you?"

Rolling his eyes. "No, Rox, I'm not dating anyone."

"Damn, Hayner, then what's the problem? I'd swear if I didn't know any better that you were already in love with someone." Roxas said with a smirk, joking. When Hayner didn't automatically deny the statement, the smirk left the blonde's face and he sat up a little straighter. "Oh my gods, who?"

"It doesn't matter." Hayner replied, looking uncomfortable.

"Oh come on! I'm your best friend, Hayner; the least you can do is tell me! Maybe there's something I could do to help get the guy's attention." When Hayner still wouldn't answer, Roxas huffed in frustration. "Jeeze, the way you're acting it's someone really terrible like Seifer."

Joking again, and expecting an exclamation of denial, Roxas' eyes grew huge as he took in the way Hayner wouldn't look at him and the way his lips were compressed as if to keep whatever he had to say locked behind them.

"Hayner, tell me you aren't serious." Silence. "We are talking about Seifer fucking Almasy! He's made our lives hell since the third grade! He beats on you at least once a week and don't get me started on the insults!"

"I know, Rox, but I—"

"You're going out with me tonight if I have to drag you. I do not fucking care if you want to or not. You're going to come with me, I'm going to introduce you to Max and you are going to get over this stupid infatuation."

"It's not infatuation."

"Of course it is!" Roxas said, standing. "It can't possibly be anything else and the sooner you realize that, the better. Now, I will pick you up at 6 and we'll head on over…"

Finally having enough of Roxas refusing to listen, Hayner spun around and yelled. "It's not infatuation! I've been in love with Seifer for four fucking years! I can barely remember a time when I wasn't in love with him and I'll probably still be in love with him when I die. You think I don't know that he won't ever feel the same way? That he'd probably beat me bloody if he ever found out? Yes! I know that! I can't help but know that but it doesn't fucking matter. I've tried getting over it, I've thought about telling him just so he would beat me senseless and maybe I'd be able to move on. It doesn't matter! I'm still in love with the insensitive bastard and that's never going to change!"

Venting finally finished, Hayner stood, breathing hard, while Roxas stared at him in shock. After a minute, Roxas' eyes shifted off of his friend's face and he made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. Whipping his head around to see what had caught Roxas' attention, Hayner stared in shock and growing horror at what he saw. Standing at the entrance to the sandlot, eyes wide, was Seifer…and he'd obviously heard everything.

Waking with a start, Hayner sat up quickly and then promptly buried his head in his hands, shaking. It's been how long and I still can't get over it? Gods I'm pathetic.

"Hayner? Are you okay?"

Pulling his hands away from his face, Hayner straightened up a little and attempted to look normal as a face appeared from around the door. "I heard a noise…I thought you might've had a nightmare again."

Hayner swallowed before nodding a little. "It's fine…I'm fine." A look of disbelief prompted him to offer more reassurances. "Really, Rikku, I'm fine. It might not be the most pleasant way to wake up but I'm fairly used to that by now."

Still looking unconvinced, Rikku put her hands on her hips and huffed. "I know you don't want to talk about it, Hayner, but there are some of us that might understand. You could try…it might actually help."

Hesitating, the older teen looked to the side and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I know you're trying to help…"

"But you aren't going to talk about it no matter how I push so I'll back off for now. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that there's breakfast downstairs, courtesy of Tifa."

"I'll be down in a minute."

Nodding, the blonde female trounced herself down the stairs, giving Hayner some privacy. With a sigh and a stretch, Hayner crawled out of the cot he'd been laying on and began rummaging for something to wear. It had been three months since his unexpected rescue from the island he'd been stranded on and life was returning, albeit slowly, to normal. Or at least to what would probably pass for normal in Hayner's case.

Good to his word, Cloud had taken him back to Twilight Town where the group of resistance fighters he belonged to were currently working. Upon arrival, Hayner was quickly but carefully handed over to their resident healer, Aerith, who spent some time evaluating his mental and physical health. She declared that he wasn't as bad off as he could have been, physically, but that he was going to need time and a great deal of therapy to take care of his mental instability. It was fairly quickly found out that he was originally from Twilight Town and that it might be possible to find someone he knew that could provide the support he needed in order to recover fully.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case as everyone Hayner was familiar with had disappeared in the initial attack and there was no one left that he felt comfortable with. At this point, there wasn't anyone he felt comfortable with at all anymore. Prolonged time alone had left Hayner painfully wary of any and every one he met and while he could tolerate being in the same room with people, he shied away from any type of physical contact unless absolutely necessary. Even then it was difficult for the teen to put up with.

After spending a few weeks roaming the familiar streets of his home, the strain could be seen on his face and in the way he moved; it was just too difficult to remain somewhere that no longer had the people he most needed to find. As the group of resistance members were very nearly done with their work, Cloud had volunteered to take Hayner and the materials they had acquired back to their permanent base of operations in Hollow Bastion.

Hollow Bastion was a rather large, heavily fortified city that served as the central hub for the resistance forces on Gaia. Most anything could be found here if you knew where to look and, if you didn't, someone knew where to send you. The crowds of people had at first terrified Hayner but, after a while, they became almost a source of comfort. Hayner was nothing more than another face in the crowd, yet another refugee fleeing the war in search of safety. The obscurity offered its own blessing.

Hayner was registered on the list of 'recently relocated' and a place was found for him. Resisting all attempts at an apartment within the city center, Hayner instead chose a place in need of serious repair on the outskirts, near a sheltered lake. Reno had some choice words for the place such as 'derelict' and 'house shaped carcass' but Hayner just ignored him and told him to come back in a few days. Those few days were all he'd actually needed to start making the place habitable and while Reno just stared in shock at the progress he'd made, Hayner just shrugged and said he was used to keeping busy.

Finding a job had been surprisingly easy, considering Hayner's desire for personal space. Keeping his repair skills in mind, Cloud brought him by the service dock for the airships that were constantly in and out on patrols or supply runs. Upon introduction to Cid, the man that oversaw the repairs as well as ran a smaller nearby shop, and after a small demonstration that he did indeed know what he was doing, Hayner was hired and began working right that day. This led him back to where he currently was, in a small room above Cid's shop that served as a small sleep space should it be too late to safely make the trip home.

Fishing a clean shirt and pants out of a pile Hayner kept here for just this need, he quickly dressed himself and descended the stairs towards the smell of food. Rounding the corner into what served as an impromptu kitchen and break area Hayner found Rikku and Cid already seated at the only table eating while Tifa, owner of a local bar and restaurant, was serving up another plate for him. Cid eyed him over a cup of coffee, cigarette dangling from his left hand, as he sat down. "Late night?"

"Yeah. I practically rebuilt that engine; I honestly didn't expect it to cause me so much trouble." Hayner grimaced. "I don't even know if it'll work and if it doesn't, I don't know what else to try."

"It'll work." Rikku piped up. "Everything you try your hand on works."

"Thanks for the confidence." He said with a slight smile.

"We'll test the engine after breakfast. We have another ship due in today so I want to try and clear the smaller jobs out of the way before then." Cid put in around a mouthful of food.

Digging into the plate Tifa placed in front of him, Hayner had a few bites before he responded. "Supply ship?"

"Actually," Tifa interjected "while this particular ship and crew normally do ferry materials for us, this time they're also bringing some extra passengers."

"Refugees?"

"Kind of. They aren't recent and have been traveling a while on some kind of quest."

Cid snorted into his coffee. "Quest? How archaic can you get?"

Arms crossed, Tifa leaned back on the counter she'd set the food on. "Call it what you will." She shrugged. "Regardless of what their reasons are, they chartered passage and will be arriving aboard the ship."

"Best we get started then." Draining the last of his coffee and stubbing out his cigarette, Cid stood and stretched. "Rikku, go open the shop; Hayner, I'll come help you with that engine as soon as I grab a few things from stores."

Shoveling the last of his breakfast in his mouth as the other two departed, Hayner stood and moved his dishes to the sink. "Thanks Tifa."

"Anytime." She said with a smile. "Oh, and Hayner?" He turned as he got to the door. "You don't have to be such a stranger; stop by and see us soon. Yuffie is nagging and Cloud has some downtime coming up."

Nodding, Hayner left the room and made his way towards the repair shop; it was time to start another long day.

Seifer Almasy was tired. Over a year of searching, two since he'd been ripped from his home, and he was still no closer to finding the sole reason for his journey. Moving from place to place, seeing the destruction and grief left in the wake of war, had only strengthened his resolve to find the sandy-haired teen rather than diminished it. He had vowed to find Hayner regardless of the cost and he meant it. Before he could begin to brood in earnest, however, a knock on the door to his cabin interrupted his thoughts.

Fujin, one of his best friends and a fellow member of what was once the Twilight Disciplinary Committee, entered followed by her boyfriend and the other member of the committee, Raijin. "CLOSE."

Seifer nodded and stood. "How long?"

"15 MINUTES."

"I'll meet you on the bridge in a minute."

Fujin nodded and both left Seifer to gather his things. It had been a stroke of luck booking passage on this airship; the Strahl normally didn't do passengers but as she hadn't had a full hold of materials, the captain had agreed to take them on. They were currently headed for a city called Hollow Bastion, said to be the hub for the entirety of the resistance. It was also the biggest information network available and if there was to be any serious hope of finding Hayner, it would be there. Exiting his cabin with his duffel, Seifer made his way to the bridge in order to watch their approach and decent into the city.

The captain, Balthier, nodded to him as he came to stand behind and to the left of the captain's chair. "We're on final approach and should be landing shortly. You can see the service platform and docks just over there." He motioned to the right with his chin.

Seifer nodded and shifted his weight to move with the sudden lowering of the Strahl as she made her way into dock.

"So what brings you to Hollow Bastion, anyway?" Vaan, Balthier's co-pilot asked suddenly. Balthier gave him a look for asking and he blushed before hurriedly continuing on. "Not that it's any of my business, I was just wondering."

Seifer was silent for a moment before shrugging. "I'm looking for someone; his name is Hayner. He's been missing…a long time."

At the mention of the name, Vaan looked as though he was thinking hard about something but as he opened his mouth to say something, the Strahl landed with a soft bump. "And there we are; Hollow Bastion as promised." Balthier said with a smile. "We have supplies to unload and then a service crew will be onboard to check us over. The place you're going to be looking for is right near here; ask anyone and they'll be able to point you to it."

Seifer nodded his thanks and, shouldering his bag, made his way off the ship followed by his two constant companions.

Vaan watched them leave with the same expression of 'I'm trying to remember something and failing' that he'd had before landing. "And what is bothering you?" Balthier asked, standing.

"I don't know…something about the name they said sounds familiar but I just can't place it." Vaan sighed. "I know it's going to drive me crazy until I figure it out."

With a smirk, Balthier reached down and yanked the younger man up and into his arms. "How about I take your mind off of it, hmm? After all, that's what the leading man is for, is it not?"

Seifer was off the ship and about halfway across the ship yard before he realized he was missing something. Checking his pockets, he let out a small curse and stopped. "I left my beanie onboard; I'm going to go back for it really quick."

"STAY?"

"No, you go on ahead and I'll catch up."

"I'll take your bag; no sense in hauling it back, ya know?"

"Thanks, Rai, I won't be long." Handing his bag off to his friend, Seifer turned around and jogged back onto the Strahl.

Completely focused on the task at hand, Hayner didn't notice Rikku until she bent over behind his left ear and blew on it. Jumping with surprise, he grabbed his ear and leveled a glare at the laughing girl behind him. "I tried getting your attention the normal way but it wasn't working." She said, grinning.

"Perhaps you could try harder next time."

Rikku just laughed again and started back the way she came. Cid says the airship is here and he wants you to head on over to start on it."

"I'll be right there." Gathering a small toolkit and a handheld diagnostics device, Hayner left the shop and began to walk the short distance to the airfield.

After some searching, Seifer had finally found his missing beanie under the bed and was now hurrying to catch up with Fuu and Rai. Lost in thought, he barely noticed the door from a nearby repair shop open to let someone through. He walked along for another six steps before a gasp of surprise and the sound of something dropping made his stop and turn around. There, pale and staring with wide eyes, tools dropped from suddenly numb fingers, was Hayner.

A/N: Yay! This is the point I had originally wanted to get to in the last chapter but I think it was better this way. Lol I am an evil, evil person for leaving it here but it will be worth it. :3