Story Title: Recovery

Author Name: BluJeza

Summary: She thought she lost everything, with no hope of recovery. She was drowning, her color being washed away into a blank canvas. Her escape was her cousin, but will it take more than her cousin to help her? She thinks she is beyond healing. But then she meets him.

Pairing(s): Jacob/OC

Warning(s): this chapter is actually really really tame, so cursing... I think, is the only warning.

Disclaimer: I own Jacob. No, really, I do..... Okay! Fine! No, as always, Stephanie Meyer owns Jacob and all his little friends. Twilight is not mine. Just Andrea is.

A/N: Sooo... I'm not sure I'm happy with this chapter. I feel like I've skipped a lot, but then there isn't a lot for Andrea to do when she has no school so.... There is no Angela in this chapter either. Or her friends, or Bella. I was going to put Bella, but I felt like Jake was cooler. If Andy never meets Bella, that would be AWESOME. But she will, of course. Because Bella is like a freakin' plague. Anyways! There are probably typos that I missed in here, but I did do spellcheck... wow, I need a Beta. Hm... I felt like my muse was flat for this chapter, so I'm sorry. Hope you like it anyways, even if I don't. I added a new thing to it - Journal entries! I don't know if I'll do it again though. Maybe... depends on if you guys like it. Tell me what you think!

Journal,

It's March now, actually it's March 4th. It's been two weeks since I came to Forks, and a week since I saw that… that guy when I was running. I can't stop thinking about it, but somehow it's a relief that I'm thinking about him instead of… well instead of what happened. I don't know why I can't get him out of my head though! Yes, he was hot, I admit it! But… but I don't moon over guys. That was I just don't get it. It was intense though. When he looked at me, I actually felt safe! Safe! I haven't felt that way in such a long time and it... god, it was terrifying. He's a complete stranger. I don't know his name even, and hell he could be some pervy pedophile for all I know!

I thought about asking Angela about him, but how would she know? Or… maybe I can get her to go to La Push with me? To show me the sights? Oh god, I've gone off the deep end! Now I'm making excuses to see him?! I don't know him!! This makes no sense! Okay… Back up, we are forgetting everything I just wrote – everything!

So, I start Forks High on Monday. It's Saturday today, just after lunch actually. Aunt Leslie has backed off a bit on me – oh, that's right. I guess you should know just what she backed off on, huh? She's been trying to get me to see a shrink – and, okay, yea I have nothing against shrinks personally…. But I can't see one. I don't want to talk about it, because it just makes it hurt more. I mean, I'm going to remember it for the rest of my godforsaken life, and probably have nightmares and be paranoid too. I don't think I'll ever get better at this point.

It's been…. Wow, it's been about 3 months! It seems like it was – yesterday.

Sorry, I couldn't… god, I'm a mess. I can't eat, can't sleep, and I keep crying and I just want to stop!! This is ridiculous! I just… I miss her so much. Abigail… she is was more than just a best friend. I grew up with her, y'know? She was my sister. My twin. I swear, if I believed in such things, she'd be the other half of my soul – lost in transition. Wow, how corny. I've become really lame.

I need to get my life back, I'm just scared. I still can't look in the mirror. I'm afraid of what I'll see, I mean – c'mon! I bet I'm a skeleton at this point, I'm surprised my hair hasn't fallen off. Then again – I'm perfectly healthy, except for this gross scar on my ribcage.

Yea, it's no longer bruised – thank god. It still is tender though, it's also red and raw still. I know now what people mean when they say a scar is angry. It looks it. Inflamed almost. Ugh… I'm supposed to keep this special cream on – but it sticks to my hands, which is really annoying and…. And I'm going to stop talking about that god awful scar.

Sometimes, I think I have to talk about the less important things. I think I've changed. It used to be that I never worried about appearance, or the things people never really take time to notice but now? It's like that's all that matters because if I focus on that… then I can't focus on the other "stuff".

Maybe I should see a shrink. No, no I can't. Cause then I'd have to relive it, though it's not like I don't every night – or sometimes during the day. I still get these flashes, it's so strange because it feels like I'm there and I lose sight of my surroundings. It's surreal. Aunt Leslie has a point – but… Jesus, I never thought I'd be one of those people who would need to see a shrink. Or… or talk things over to 'get it off my chest'. I still think that's a load of bull though. How does talking make you feel better?

I'm good at the not dwelling – or at least I'm getting there. It's gotten easier to ignore things, to feel numb I guess. Numb is good. Numb means no pain, or fear, or…or… well, shit. I'm screwed.

I rolled over onto my back, letting my journal rest on my stomach. With a tired groan, I stretched my hand up in the air and curl my fingers. The cramp in my hand was a annoying without a doubt, but it is what I get for refusing to keep my journal on a laptop. If it is on a laptop, then it is easier to lose. Laptop's crash all the time, and call me paranoid but they are also hacked all the time. An actual leather journal can be hidden under lock and key, then again I never thought I'd have need of one.

Moaning softly under my breath, I let my hand flop down on top of the journal on my stomach and just stared blankly at the ceiling. My thoughts were going haywire still, but I let them as I have been doing lately. Anything to get me out of this monotonous existence. It goes without saying that I am bored, and have been for the past two weeks. I scowled then, stretching the hand not on my journal up above my head. Brown eyes fluttering shut, my scowl shifted into a frown as I thought about the only exciting thing to have happened.

His eyes were stuck in my head. It was annoying.

"Why the hell do I have such fascination with eyes?" I grumbled quietly, disgruntled with myself.

Seriously, I have problems. I just know it. Turning onto my side, I placed the journal onto the bedside table and glanced towards the open door. There was a rule in my Aunt and Uncle's house of a 'Doors Open' when someone is inside. Privacy is like a no go, which seriously blows. I enjoy my privacy like any other person – whose normal.

"Which I'm not…" I mutter with a scowl, sitting up and placing my face in my hands.

Gripping my scalp tightly, I huff angrily and stood, dropping my hands. I crossed the room in a few strides, snapping up my black jacket and two-toned navy shoulder bag. I was going out, even if I didn't own a car. Making my way downstairs, I peeked into the twins room, wondering why it was so quiet, when I realized they are at soccer practice with Aunt Leslie. I paused at the entrance to the living room, noticing Uncle Henry was in and working on what looked like his sermon for tomorrow. I swallowed, indecision warring before with a tightening of my shoulders I spoke up.

"Uncle Henry?" My voice was soft, almost hesitant and I inwardly cursed myself for it. I shouldn't be afraid of my own Uncle, but I couldn't help it. I've ignored him for the past two weeks as is…

He looked up, surprised before a smile stretched over his face. "Andrea, what do you need sweetheart?"

I lowered my eyes, refusing to catch his. "I… ah, well, I'm going out… I thought I should let someone know… since, well… since last time…" I trailed off, glancing up again.

Uncle Henry frowned, "You have your cell phone?"

"Yes, I do." I nodded, smiling slightly.

"Well, be careful. Be back by dinner, it's at seven." He said, giving me a quick smile.

I nodded again and backed away, pivoting on my heel and hurrying to the front door. As soon as I made it outside, I sighed in relief. That time I had gone running and met him which admittedly I haven't been out since… and I have been itching for a run, I had gotten in trouble when I'd gotten back. Aunt Leslie had not been pleased. I paused, considering, before shaking my head fiercely. No. I was not going for a run. I was going to walk… to, to explore.

'What's to explore in Forks…?' My thoughts whispered snidely, and I scowled. True, but nonetheless I needed out because I suddenly felt suffocated. I'd walled myself up for the past week – again – and now was the time to break that habit. Straightening my spine, I made an effort to walk down the sidewalk and towards the road. I had no idea where I was going to go, but I figured I'd know when I got there.

I am officially screwed. In the wise words of Abi… Abigail, 'Darlin, you've got it bad.' And unfortunately, it is so true because at the moment I am standing and staring blankly at the General Store in La Push. How did I even get here? Well, it's this wonderful thing of me getting lost in my thoughts and becoming oblivious to everything which has been happening more and more lately. It's frustrating.

My eyes slid slowly away from the sign of the store, only to glance inside. It was pretty much empty, although it is a Saturday afternoon. Licking my suddenly dry lips, I shift my weight and turn to walk down the sidewalk again.

"Might as well explore it while I'm here…" I mutter under my breath, shoving my hands into my jeans pockets.

I was finding it difficult to place one foot in front of the other, because I really was sort of – just a little – terrified of running into –

"Hey!"

I froze, spinning around with wide eyes to spot the familiar form of the boy, no man, from the week before. I swallowed thickly, my chest suddenly feeling way to tight to be normal as he made his way towards me. There were two other boys with him, both Native American and both giants, and they were both staring at me. Shivering under their gaze, I jerked my eyes back to the guy I'd run into as he stopped in front of me.

He looked eager, and had an easygoing grin on his lips with his white teeth shining. 'How are his teeth so white? And jesus, are these guys on steroids or something? Or do they come giant-sized in La Push?' I wondered silently.

"Hey… I'm sorry about last week. I didn't mean to scare you, are you okay?" He questioned his voice dropping into a low and soothing tone. He sounded… concerned and I felt my heart ache. I shivered, not liking this feeling at all even as I felt the panic start to rise and the fear curl in my lower abdomen.

"Um…" I shifted my gaze away, hesitant. "N-no, it's alright. I… I'm okay."

I stuttered. I never stuttered before, but this man made me nervous and scared and safe and…. I breathed through my nose, trying to calm my rapid heartbeat even as I glanced up again to catch his jade eyes. My words weren't the only thing to stutter then.

"Great! My name's Jacob Black, you can call me Jake." He grinned, his hands shoved into his denim shorts and that's when I noticed he was only wearing cutoffs and a white tank that clearly left little to imagination. I swallowed, my mouth feeling dry.

Unwillingly, my eyes lingered on his pecs for a moment before I nervously jerked them away. I felt the heat in my cheeks and the back of my neck when I looked up and saw his mischievous, knowing eyes rest on me. His cheeky grin grew and he winked, which is when I grew completely mortified and stepped back.

His eyes widened and he spoke quickly, his words tumbling out in a rush. "Hey! Wait… Ah, what's your name?"

I hesitated, but before I could say anything a large hand landed on his shoulder followed by the sight of one of his two friends standing beside him and grinning at me. 'What is it with the grinning? Is everyone so damned perky?!' I goggled. I was lost for words, seriously.

"Whose this Jakey?" The boy asked, wiggling his eyebrows and winking at me. I blushed and glanced away.

"I'm no one! No one, ah… I gotta go." I stuttered out in a hurry, quickly dodging around the two and walking as fast as I could. I had to sidestep their other friend, who looked intimidating while standing there with a look of growing annoyance. Before I could get far though, I felt a hand close over my upper arm – the heat of the hand was scorching and in the split second that it jerked me back I froze. It was an instant reaction, and as I heard Jacob's friend gruffly snap out a 'Wait' my reaction changed.

I tried to twist out of his grasp, my entire body shaking from the fear creeping up. My free hand rose and I lashed out with it, but he caught it and as I looked up I saw his shocked expression. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and his expression softened for a fraction of a second before I tried jerking away from him again – the fear far too large to ignore.

"Hey, calm down! I'm not going to hurt you!" He snapped out, but that just made it worse and I felt the incoming flashback come over me like a sonic boom.

"Paul! Paul, let her go!" I heard a voice growl out, but the growl was so real, sounding more doglike than human. The hand let me go abruptly and I was vaguely aware of Jacob coming closer. I scrambled backwards over the pavement, my eyes wide and my breathing labored. Tears ran down my cheeks as I whimpered at the haunting in front of me – it was not Jacob.

"No, no, no… please… please… stop…" I sobbed out and stumbled in my panic to get away. I grabbed at the pavement, knowing I was probably cutting my hands up even as I crab walked back as far as I could until I hit the side of the General Store building. "Please… no…go away."

He didn't touch me, but I could feel him crouch down in front of me. The heat radiating off of his body was easily felt, even as I cringed away from it. I heard him curse quietly, and was slightly aware of how he turned slightly away to snap something out to his friends. As soon as he did, I flinched backward as another choked sob escaped me. I clapped my hands over my mouth, squeezing my eyes shut as tightly as they would go.

Why was this haunting me?! The feelings that had grabbed at me, kept me in their hold. I could feel how fast my heart beat, like a wild hummingbird and how my shaking grew stronger. The hands I held over my mouth to try and quell the sounds of my sobbing were shaking so hard that I could barely keep them held there. Bowing my head, so that the strands of my dark hair fell over me I stiffened when I felt a warm hand on my arm. Someone was talking to me, trying to bring me out of my agony.

The warm hand didn't squeeze, or move, it just sat there gently and the voice was soft and soothing. My shaking slowed as the pale green eyes left my memory, and I slowly became more aware of the growing flare-up around me. Jacob's friends were fending off the people around the General Store, who were trying to figure out what was going on. Jacob himself was… I opened my eyes slowly, glancing up from under my dark hair to meet with jade eyes. Jacob himself was trying to soothe me, his eyes looking so worried and pained as if what was happening to me was hurting him just as much.

I was confused. This man barely knew me, didn't know me, and here he was trying to help me. I shivered slightly; my shaking having all but stopped, and raised my head. Slowly, while biting my lower lip I lowered my hands from my face, still not letting my eyes drop from his. I was a little mortified, because who wouldn't be when they had a flashback in front of a couple of hot guys?

His hand left my arm and I stiffened, suddenly feeling extremely vulnerable. Before I could even think about, before my mind even caught up to my body, I found myself snapping my hands out towards him in a blind panic. A quick, and sharp "No!" snapped out of my mouth as my hands latched onto him. He froze, his eyes widening slightly before he seemed to soften. His smile lit up my dark surroundings and I found myself relaxing in wonder and awe. I felt comfortable with him, even as he drew me into his warm arms.

I didn't even have the presence of mind to be embarrassed about how he basically had no shirt, and that I was pressing my clammy cheek up against his chest, only a thin tank in between me and his warm skin – right over his heart. I listened to the gently thrum of his heartbeat as he lifted me up and spoke to his friends. I didn't care and allowed myself to be soothed into a light doze, the flashback having taken quite a bit of energy out of me.

It wasn't like me, to trust a stranger like this, because for all I know he could be kidnapping me. I stiffened at that thought, but then relaxed just as quickly as if it were against my entire being to even think about Jacob Black that way. What was wrong with me?

I came back to myself when we stopped moving, his voice was quiet as he spoke in my ear.

"Hey… are you okay now?"

Startled, I looked up and paused. He was… really close. Swallowing thickly, I nodded and then glanced around. We were in a living room, and it was just him and I. He had sat down on the couch and I was, here I blushed, in his lap. Slowly, I crawled off of him and curled up on the other end before looking back at Jacob. I barely caught the look of disappointment before it disappeared and in it's place came concern.

"Thanks…" I said quietly, now embarrassed beyond belief at what had happened. I can't believe I freaked out like that. It was all a noisy, painful blur really but I knew I freaked.

He grinned, "Sure, sure."

I smiled slightly at that reply even as I found myself caught with his eyes. His face changed then, to one of concern and annoyance.

"I'm sorry about Paul… " He said, and seeing my confused expression he hurried on. "He was the one who grabbed you." He grimaced at that, obviously remembered what had happened. I blushed, looking away. "Paul's a bit… " Here he trailed off and didn't finish. I finished for him.

"Temperamental?" I echoed quietly, and he grinned.

"Yea, that works." He said.

I hesitated, then spoke up. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to freak out on you guys… "

"Hey, hey, it's not problem." Jake said, giving a half shrug. I noticed he had shifted sideways, so his entire body was facing me. I smiled again.

"My name is Andrea Lane."

His entire form lit up, his grin almost blinding in intensity even as he shifted slightly forward. His dark jade eyes captivated me, and I found my breath catching in my throat.

"Andrea…" I almost didn't catch it, it was so quiet. He breathed my name out as if it was a blessing, and I shivered from the sound of my name passing through his lips. Damn me, if I wasn't drawn to this guy. Abigail would freak.

I glanced away, then back with a small smile. "I guess you want to know why it happened huh?" I questioned quietly, somehow wanting to tell him.

He frowned, "You don't have to."

I shifted closer, hesitantly, until I was sitting right next to him. He watched my movements carefully, as if afraid I'd hurt myself or get scared and bolt. Once I settled next to him, I tilted my head back on the couch to catch his eyes again, so close to his scorching heat that I sighed softly and relaxed. With a lazy, content smile I spoke up.

"I want to Jacob Black."

I know, I know. Andrea warmed up to Jake REALLY fast - but c'mon think about it. He imprinted on her, and I imagine the imprintee feels it too in someway. She feels unusually comfortable around him, and don't worry it probably will raise some red flags for her, but at the moment she trusts him. He helped her when he didn't know her, didn't try anything, and she is a little confused still from the flashback. She'll most likely freak out after she tells him things - not sure how much she will tell him. She isn't THAT trusting.

Review! Criticism! I don't think I got Jake right in this chapter....

xoxo
Jeza