(AN
Sorry to keep everybody waiting. I am writing my first novella and I have been busy.
So; here it is! Hope you enjoy.
Disclaimers;
)
THE MARY SUE UNIT
Congratulations! I think... You have just purchased your MARY SUE unit. We are honored you bought one from us because you can get them for free on almost any PJO FF fic. But we ensure to give you maximum annoyance out of our MARY SUE unit.
PRODUCT INFORMATION
Name: Ms. Mary Sue
Age: Usually in the teens, originally 15
Place of Manufacture: The Star Trek fandom, creator is Paula Smith. Originally Young Ensign Mary Sue.
SETTINGS; It is important to know your MARY SUE unit's settings so you will know how to use her properly. Careful, if you don't use the MARY SUE unit properly you could suffer serious harm*.
Charmer
Your MARY SUE unit is extremely charming and beautiful in a cheesy way. If you put her near any of your male units, beware; they will most likely fall madly in love with her no matter what the circumstance.
OOC Machine
Your MARY SUE unit will make most of your other units dysfunctional and they will all start losing their personalities, and their settings and uses will change. Good for screwing up your neighbor's units if they are bothering you.
Vocalist
Your MARY SUE unit has a gorgeous voice! She will put anyone who listens to her in a trance. Good for hypnosis.
Annoying
You can't turn this feature off. Sorry.
*Warning: The OneCharacterCompany Inc. Is not responsible to any damages to personal property, any injuries or bodily harm, or any fatalities your MARY SUE unit may cause.
USES
Your Mary Sue unit has many helpful and not so helpful uses. Here are just a few.
Seductress
Do you just NOT like Annabeth and you want to make her life miserable? Just put your MARY SUE unit next to your PERCY JACKSON unit and watch the miracles happen!
Un-friender
Hate someone on Facebook? Just put your MARY SUE unit near them and you will royally piss them off. They will un friend you immediately.
Character Changer
Wish your PERCY JACKSON unit was more of a flirt? Or just don't like your unit's characters in general? Then put the MARY SUE unit near your units and they will become completely OOC!
Pincushion
Your MARY SUE unit is the perfect unit to take out your frustrations on. Invite people to watch and make popcorn.
INTERACTIONS
Unlike our other units, the interactions between your MARY SUE unit and your other units are nearly universal. But here's a guide anyway.
PERCY JACKSON UNIT
Your Percy Jackson unit will go beserk and fall madly in love with your MARY SUE unit. He will never function properly again.
ANNABETH CHASE UNIT
You got a real good unit if she pisses the ANNABETH CHASE unit off.
NICO DiANGELO UNIT
WARNING! Your NICO DiANGELO unit is extremely susceptible to the MARY SUE unit.
His reactions will be similar to the PERCY JACKSON unit's, except much, much worse.
ALL OTHER UNITS
All your other units will completely despise and boo your MARY SUE unit and will probably destroy it. Not that that's a bad thing.
CLEANING
...
TROUBLESHOOTING
MARY SUE units are the cause of trouble.
If you didn't want trouble, why the heck did you order one, idiot?
FAQ's
Q: All my male units have abandoned their partners and are murdering each other. Does this have anything to do with my MARY SUE unit?
A: Um, hello? Did you even read the manual? Of course!
Q: My MARY SUE unit is driving me crazy, but I don't want to just get rid of it; I want to murder it. Is this legal?
A: Entirely. Be sure to stab it, maim it, pin it against the wall, use as a dartboard...
Q: Can I ship her back to Captain Kirk?
A: Uh, no, Captain Kirk doesn't appreciate that, and Spock is sick of having to throw them into space so that they explode from pressure differences. Don't blame Kirk, it's not his fault, it's Paula Smith's. Besides, the flat rates for starships are WAY overpriced.
WARRANTY
The MARY SUE unit should live happily as long as you feed it and live a long and prosperous life (due to Spock accidentally telling her to do this once, he forever regretted it) but there is no guarantee your other units will live long and prosperous lives.
(AN
Yay, I did it. Okay, I have already done the Annabeth Chase, Thalia Grace, Percy Jackson, and Mary Sue units. I have PMd the author of the Nico DiAngelo for permission but there is no answer. So I'll just make one, it's not like HE has special rights or anything. Sorry this took so long.)