Kaidan paced around his room, readjusting his white button down shirt for the third time, smoothing out his black slacks for the fifth. He was genuinely beginning to fear his risk for heart failure might have drastically gone up in the past few hours.
"You're worrying too much."
Kaidan felt he must have jumped ten feet into the air at the unexpected intrusion. Turning with wide eyes and pink cheeks he spotted the owner of the voice leaning against his door.
"Thane, Jesus—you scared the hell out of me!" He gripped his chest and took a deep breath; his nerves were running him ragged.
"My apologies." Though the slight smile on his face says he wasn't as sorry as he claimed. "There is nothing more for you to do but wait. Which, I gather is the hard part."
The glass looking out into the hall was covered with a long red silk sheet; similar sheets now adorn the hospital bed instead of the white cotton hospital standard ones, which was now repositioned along the wall as to not block the view out the large window. Several eating trays were positioned along the walls holding holos of flower bouquets and actual tea light candles. A small sound system was turned just loud enough to hear a light classical tune; violins and a piano filled the air with calm. Unfortunately unable to sneak in a table and chairs, several dark red pillows lay on the floor on top of yet another red silk sheet; two more flat trays lay on the ground, candles arranged in front of the window. Thane had gone to the market, bought everything with Kaidan's credit chit and set it all up in the time that Kaidan calmed his nerves and got himself ready; he couldn't help his surprise as he got out of the shower to see a shaving kit, a bottle of cologne, and his new cloths folded neatly on the bathroom counter.
"I apologize for the holos. Since Earth was hit by the Reapers real flowers have been harder to come by."
Kaidan's eyes softened, he was truly grateful for the Drell's help; he knew he never would have made this possible by himself. He walked up to the Drell and laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Thane, thank you. If you ever need to cash in a favor, I owe you big." Thane smiled and patted his new friend lightly on the back, careful of his injuries.
"One last thing before I go. I spoke with Dr. Michel. I convinced her to make sure you are undisturbed during your visit."
Kaidan raised a brow at that and crossed his arms over his chest, genuinely interested as to how he made that happen. "Care to share how you managed?"
The Drell chuckled. "It would seem our doctor is still quite taken with a Turian she was once close with. After he resigned from C-Sec, I had the pleasure of working with him, which means that I have his updated contact information."
"Good ol' bribery, huh?"
"It worked, didn't it?" And just like that, he was gone; once again leaving Kaidan to fall victim to his nerves.
He wandered over to the window and tried to appreciate the view of the Citadel from his room, hopeful that preoccupying his mind with something else would slow his racing heart; but the more time he had to think the more he began to wonder if making such a strong assumption about him still having a chance with Shepard was wrong. His brows furrowed and his full lips turned downward in a slight frown as he thought about his current situation. What if she hated him for turning her down on Horizon? Or for questioning her allegiance on Mars? Hell, I practically called her a Husk at one point…
Kaidan was so wrapped in his thoughts that he had barely heard the soft hiss of the door and the light clicking of heels on the tile floor. It wasn't until he heard a sharp intake of breath that he turned around to see Shepard standing in the middle of his room, eyes wider than he'd ever seen them.
"Kaidan… This is incredible! How..?" Her eyes darted from one side of the room to the next.
He couldn't move, couldn't speak, he was frozen to the spot by the sight before him; he couldn't remember ever seeing a more beautiful sight. Shepard's hair was let down now and cascaded down to the small of her back, large neat curls framed her face. Dark eye shadow was dusted across her lids and light pink gloss swiped across her lips. Her lavender lace dress hugged her body perfectly, what little of it was covered by the thin fabric. The off the shoulder sleeve and deep V cut allowed Kaidan's eyes to feast on the expanse of her neck, her collar bone, and the fullness of her breasts. The hem of her dress barely covering her toned thighs; her long legs made longer by a pair of black kitten heels. His desire was quickly becoming animalistic as thoughts of throwing her legs over his shoulders bombarded his mind. He imagined that the look on his face gave him away when he noticed the light blush on her cheeks.
"I had some help." Though his voice was low and husky, he couldn't hide the shy smile that graced his lips at her reaction. He had almost forgotten how happy it made him to make her happy.
She smiled at him then, holding up two bags he hadn't realized she was holding, one with Apollo's Cafe' printed on the side. "I brought your favorite, hope it doesn't ruin your shirt. Managed to find some beer too, not your Canadian Lager, but its Earth brewed."
"Beats the sandwiches and jello cups I managed to steal from the cafeteria." They both laughed at that, though the look in her eyes said that she appreciated the thought nonetheless. Kaidan walked over to her to take the two bags from her and laid them down near the two trays on the floor. "It's not that I'm not grateful, Shepard, but this is supposed to be my way of making things up to you; all you had to do was show up."
Her eyes softened "I know, but I think that I have a few things to make up to you as well. We've both made mistakes. Besides, after hearing your plight of dealing with bad hospital food, I thought you deserved a treat."
Shepard took a tentative step towards him, gauging to see how close she could get without making him uncomfortable; when he smiled at her she moved closer until they were mere inches apart. Cautiously raising her hand, she cupped his face, gently stroking the bruised flesh with her thumb. Her brows furrowed ever so slightly, eyes were suddenly sad and apologetic; her mouth opened and closed again as though she needed to tell him something but didn't know how. Kaidan leaned into her touch, raising his hand to rest on hers. "Shepard, just say it, whatever it is."
"I hesitated. I saw EVA grab you, heard your cry, and I watched as it nearly killed you. I didn't have your back. I'm sorry." Her voice was low and full with the emotion she tried so hard to hide.
"No, don't do that to yourself. It could've done so much worse to me if you hadn't been there. I'm alive, a little achy, but alive." She simply nodded, acknowledging what he had said but not truly believing him. Kaidan lifted his hand from hers to tuck her hair behind her ear and immediately noticed the large shimmering stud she adorned. He raised his brows and smiled at her. "Jewelry?" a light blush and the roll of her eyes was her only response. Quickly changing the subject she pulled him towards the pile of pillows. "I think you should divert your attention to the steak sandwich and the beer that are both steadily becoming room temperature." Kaidan followed Shepard to their makeshift dining area, taking a seat across from her. Trying to remain a gentleman and resist gawking at the fully exposed legs in front of him was a harder task than he thought it would be. Her already short dress riding up as she sat down on the floor; though it was quickly pushed to the back of his mind as he was handed a hot sandwich and a cold brew.
"Cheers, to fighting the good fight. And to your Spectre nomination; I couldn't think of a more worthy candidate." Kaidan smiled at her as he lightly clinked his bottle to hers and took a swig.
Their meal was fairly uneventful, if there was one way to keep Kaidan quiet and happy, it was with food; aside from the occasional grunt of approval not much interaction took place. Once their sandwiches were demolished and they had downed the last of the beer did the attention finally go back to each other; stomachs full and nerves calmed, both parties were acting more like themselves and less like bumbling kids on prom night. "Shepard, that was amazing. Thank you. The surprise was definitely worth the wait."
"Oh! I almost forgot about that!" Shepard shifted onto her knees and crawled over to where Kaidan had laid the bags down and began to shift through them. Kaidan felt that after what he'd been through that he deserved a bit of luck, and having so many opportunities to admire the body of the woman he loved in so many different positions was definitely his luck turning for the better. Kaidan leaned his head to the side to better view the round backside almost fully exposed before him; he was suddenly happy that Shepard wasn't used to wearing dresses, as it had ridden up further to the point that Kaidan knew that she was wearing purple lace panties that matched her dress. Biting his lip to stifle a groan at being so close yet so very far, he turned his attention away from his growing need and back to what Shepard might be digging for.
"You mean there's more?"
"Aha!" and the rummaging ceased. Shepard presented a large glass bottle with amber colored liquid inside. The label on the bottle read Alberta Springs: Canadian Rye Whiskey. 10 years vintage. "You mentioned that you were a whiskey fan, when I saw it I just had to." Kaidan's eyes were wide with both shock and great appreciation. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her tightly for everything that she was doing for him, but was afraid that he might be overstepping his bounds if he did. "Shepard… I… where did you find this?"
Shepard poured the whiskey into small plastic cups. "I saw that it was available on Terra Nova and had Cortez procure it for me." She handed him a cup, feeling proud of herself for making the find, she knew he would enjoy it, but didn't think it would mean that much to him. She watched his face as he took his first sip, eyes the color of the liquid in his small plastic cup closed and he hummed his approval; his face had a look of bliss and it had made her happy to know she had been the cause.
As Shepard took a tentative sip of her own whiskey an idea struck her. She laid her cup on the floor and rose off of the pillow pile, beckoning Kaidan to do the same. Though confused, he rose from his spot and watched as she began to throw the pillows onto the bed and threw the rumpled sheet in a corner. Shepard unlocked the wheels of the hospital bed and rolled it into the center of the room; raising the bed into a lounging position so that they could lay back and enjoy the view of the Citadel more comfortably. Shepard grabbed her drink and laid herself on one side of the bed and patted for Kaidan to settle in next to her. The space beside her was definitely not enough, he wasn't a small guy, the bed had barely been comfortable enough for him to sprawl out on by himself; but he gulped his whiskey, laid down his cup, and did his best to settle in without falling off the edge.
"Umm, Shepard, I don't think this is working. Here let's try this…" Kaidan motioned for Shepard to move up while he settled himself in the center of the small bed, leaning forward he wrapped his arms around Shepard's slender waist and pulled her back against his chest, his legs on either side of her. Kaidan reveled at the feel of holding her again, not realizing how badly he had wanted to until just then. He could smell the floral scent of her hair, the vanilla scented perfume sprayed on her neck, feel the contrast of strong muscles and soft skin; he was falling in love with her all over again. Shepard tilted her head back to rest against him and closed her eyes, a sigh of content escaping her full lips.
"You know, Kaidan, you have an amazing view of the Presidium from here. I don't want to hear about how bad you have it now that I've seen it for myself." Shepard could feel his chest rumble as he chuckled in response. "I guess it's not all bad. Hey, do you think Apollo's delivers? Then I'd be set up pretty nicely, huh?" Shepard turned her head to look up at him, smiling brightly. "I hope not! I'll never get you back on the Normandy!"
Kaidan smiled back at her, although his face was a more serious now; that man had a way of thinking too much and it never led him anywhere but down. "After everything… Horizon… Mars… are you sure you still want me on the Normandy?" Shepard turned her body fully to face him, cupping his face in her hands. "Kaidan, we've both made mistakes. I don't blame you for acting the way you did. I disappeared for two years and then I show up in a Cerberus uniform. I would have been angry too if it was you. I forgave you when you sent me that message, are you going to forgive yourself?"
Shepard stared at him intently, but her fellow soldier didn't reply; instead he leaned into her and closed the slight distance between them. Kaidan's kiss was chaste, all of his doubts and insecurities making him cautious. "Umm… was that okay?" His honey colored eyes danced with all of the emotions he was feeling; doubt, love, fear, lust and it made Shepard's stomach twist deliciously as heat began to pool between her legs.
Shepard turned to face him fully, straddling his frame before pulling his face back to hers roughly; a silent demand for more contact with the other soldier. Earnest hands began tearing open shirts with no regard for buttons and hiking up skirts to roughly grab the flesh beneath; both desperate to remove the barriers between them, wanting only the scorching heat of skin on skin. Shepard was sure that she'd have black and blue handprints on her ass tomorrow by the way he was handling her and found that the thought only fueled her desire for him.
Cloths were tossed half hazardly onto the pristine white floor; lace was torn and zippers broken, lips never once detaching from skin. Soon their own song drowned out the sonata still playing softly and they danced long after the candles has gone out leaving a thin line of smoke in their wake. As the holo bouquets flickered with the last of their life, the two lovers panted in a tangled heap of limbs and silk; hearts hammering against their hardened chests.
Half lidded eyes gazed languidly into amber ones. "Kaidan, I love you." A petite, but calloused, hand moved to pet the hair of the man laying his head atop her breast. He rose then to look down into the eyes that showed the truth in her words, bright and honest. "I love you too, Shepard. I always have." Placing a chaste kiss on her forehead he lay his head back down, a goofy grin on his handsome face.
"Ya know, Shepard, whiskey is great, but I'd take this surprise any day."
"Better than whiskey, huh?"
"Way better."