Title: Parterre Chapter Four a: "The Loss"
Author: Psycha (psycha underscore fairy at yahoo dot co dot uk)
Series: TNG
Rating: T
Codes: C, T
Summary: After Deanna's experiences in The Loss there are some apologies to make and Beverly's avoidance policy is effectively blocked.

Chapter Four a "The Loss"

Feeling slightly nervous, doctor Crusher arranged several medical instruments on a sterile platter. The events of the last days played in her head as she toyed absently with her tricorder. The Enterprise had been caught by an unknown force, and was slowly pulled towards a lethal anomaly. The ship's counselor, Deanna Troi had suffered some kind of brain damage and although it was clear, now that they had escaped from the two-dimensional beings that had somehow trapped them, that Deanna's brain has "just" been overloaded, she still worried a little about her friend.

With a sigh she rearranged the instruments, keeping herself busy until her patient and friend would arrive. It was difficult to forget about Deanna's outburst against her and although she had told her friend that all was forgiven, she hadn't really forgiven herself yet. Troi had been right, if she hadn't stayed in Sickbay treating the skinned elbows crewmembers had sustained, she might have responded in time to Deanna's call of distress to prevent the loss of the Betazoid's empathic skills.

Why had she dismissed the counselor's injury as a simple headache? Even after Deanna told her she'd passed out. What kind of doctor, what kind of friend was she? A part of her, the same part that had been the reason she had avoided Deanna altogether the last weeks, knew that she didn't want to see Troi in any kind of pain. It would've destroyed all her self control. Leaning on her arms, her hands on the biobed, Beverly breathed in deeply, trying to ignore the image of Deanna's face that swam before her eyes.

"Beverly?"

Startled she spun around, the voice unmistakable. "Deanna! Uh, here, sit down." She forced a smile to cover up her unease and stepped aside. Her eyes lingered on the burgundy uniform that clung to Troi's figure as she passed and sat down on the bed. "How're you feeling?"

Black eyes looked up at her with a hint of weariness in them. The coal black curls that framed Troi's beautiful face hung limp and beaten and Beverly winced at how vulnerable her friend looked. "I'm feeling fine, just tired."

"I need to run a few tests, after that I recommend you get some sleep." Deanna smiled softly, preoccupying her even as she reached for the diagnostic tool.

"Beverly, about what I said--"

"Shush, I told you, we're fine." With some effort she kept her eyes on the display screen in her hand.

"No, I shouldn't have said those things, I didn't mean them." A soft, warm hand covered her own, obstructing her view of the display. Reluctantly she glanced up at Troi's face, trying desperately to hide the feelings rising inside her. "I wasn't angry at you, you were there for me. You did everything you could." A blush rose on her cheeks and black eyes averted from her own. "I guess I was just mad at myself, for handling things so poorly."

Beverly snorted. "Poorly? I don't think I could've done half the job you did if our situations had been reversed." They both winced at the unintentional reference to their fight. "Data told us how you solved the puzzle. Without your insight, empathic or not, we would never have escaped in time."

"Data would've figured it out, or the captain."

"Bullshit." Startled Deanna looked up into her eyes and without thinking or even realizing it, Beverly reached out to touch her. The skin was warm under her fingers as they trailed along Troi's jaw. "You saved the day Dea and just because you think you're dispensable, doesn't mean we do so as well. I most certainly don't." The smile that brightened Deanna's face warmed her heart.

"Thank you." Troi whispered softly.

Beverly felt herself lean in closer and closer, her eyes fixated on the expressive black ones, but when she felt warm breath caress her lips she jumped backwards. "Right, I'll run the tests now." She couldn't bring herself to look at her patient, absolutely sure she would see shock and disgust on the empath's flawless face.

She moved the diagnostic tool around Troi's head in half circles, repeating the read-outs on the screen silently in her head, all the time aware of the dark eyes burning holes into her temple. "Okay, well, it looks like your brain is still repairing itself, for lack of better words, but there's no major damage. You might experience some dizzy spells and minor headaches for a few days, but with plenty of rest you'll be as good as new."

"Beverly?"

"I'd prefer to keep you in Sickbay for the night, but you probably wouldn't be comfortable here." She continued, intentionally ignoring Deanna's soft plea. "I'll have the computer monitor you though, just in case."

"Beverly, look at me."

She did, but only briefly, the understanding and caring in the black eyes too much to handle. "I can get you a light sedative if you want, but you should really try to get some sleep as soon as possible." With her back now turned to Troi, she could sense the woman getting up behind her and held her breath until Deanna passed her and reached the door of the private cabin.

"Beverly?" The slight hesitation made her look up and the uncertainty she saw, so unlike Deanna, kept her from looking away again. "Would you mind…" the pause was excruciating, Crusher could feel herself stare, unable even to blink. "I could use some company, a friendly face if you will. Would you stay with me? Just for a while?"

"I…" How could she deny her friend this? All the times Deanna has stayed with her when she needed a shoulder, or just a comforting presence, ran through her head. "Of course." She smiled uneasily, but dared resting her hand against the back of Deanna's arm as they walked out into the main area of Sickbay in a gesture of comfort. "I just need to finish up a couple of reports and make sure the evening shift can do their jobs. Why don't I meet you in your quarters in, say, half an hour?"

Her stomach did a back flop when Deanna smiled at her, and then, to her utter shock, stood on her toes and kissed her lightly on the cheek, right in the middle of Sickbay. Feeling a blush rise to her cheeks she quickly glanced around to see if anyone had seen the gesture. When she saw that no one was around, she involuntarily brought her hand to where Deanna's soft lips had met her skin, her eyes lingering on the doors through which her friend had disappeared.

Tbc in part two…