Author's Note: I 3 my readers! Thank you SO much for asking me to continue (to be frank with you… I probably would've continued anyway… I just adore Hatter!) Now that he's sworn off lying I think I might change the title… suggestions welcome!

Hatter

A Tale of Two Traps

It was lucky that I found leaves large enough to cover the boat. They'd probably find it anyway, but at least it'd keep them occupied. I climbed the slope, wondering if hiding the boat hadn't lost us more time that we could afford.

"I don't know who that weirdo is, leading the posse, but he's got one hell of a nose for blood." I panted when I reached the Alice, so out of shape. She wasn't even sweating as she observed the forest before us. "This is the place to find it." From somewhere in the trees came an affirmative roar.

"What was that?"

"There're things in these woods that defy imagination." Well, it would defy her imagination. I lead on, already aware of what the plan was, whether she agreed with it or not. "Come on, we haven't much time." She didn't follow, she seemed stunned.

"Look, we can't shake the posse we can't fight them either there's only one thing left to try." Whether Alice liked it or not we wouldn't get through this day without having a friendly run-in with one of these imagination-defying creatures.

"What's that?"

"Lead 'em into a trap."

*****

"Keep your breathing shallow." Of course I assumed she would do as I asked, seeing as I knew what I was doing. Apparently, she didn't trust my judgment because seconds after I heard the brute Alice freaked out, clinging to my arm.

"Did you hear that?"

"Yep. You should find a tree that you can climb."

"What? Why?"

"That trap we talked about? This is it, I'm the bait. Go." I left her then, planning on her ability to follow my instructions and not question my plan.

"Wait what is it tell me!" This Alice was starting to sound mighty like the legendary Alice. Her curiosity would be the death of us both. I knew she could care less what happened to me, which was why her clutching my arm was such a shock. I gazed down confusedly at my arm, attached to the shoulder that had been shot for her.

"It's a Jabberwock"

"What?"

"Alice. Less of the questions, just get going." Any sensible person would've been halfway up a tree by now. It's a good thing I'm not exactly sensible, but Alice should know better.

"You're going to lead this thing back to the posse?" And she was back, begging to be Jabberwock food.

"Yes! After he gets a good look at me! Just, please, go!"

"That's your plan?" She acted as if it wasn't a good one. It was a perfectly acceptable way of setting a trap, of course, preferably I wouldn't have been the Jabberwock's first target, but I could manage, Alice couldn't.

"If you don't-" I never finished that sentence, but there was no need to. Alice knew what would happen... but for some reason she stayed. Carefully we turned around, realizing at the same moment that the noise wasn't coming from in front of us.

"Run." We shot off, the trap would still work if we could run far enough. We… I couldn't hear anything behind me but the distant howl of the Jabberwock. Right, the oyster really needed to pay more attention… "Not that way! Alice!" Then I chased the Jabberwock who was chasing Alice. I didn't know what I'd do when I caught up to the beast but something had to be done about Alice. In front of me the Jabberwock stopped, flapping its horrendous wings and making the most wretched noise. For a brief moment I thought he had caught up to Alice, then I noticed the beast's misfortune- stuck between two tall tree trunks that were holding it back with all their weight. I went around the brute glad that Alice wasn't Jabberwock chow.

"Hey!" I said casually to Alice as I slid next to her. The Jabberwock was so close I could smell the rotten flesh that decorated it's teeth. There was no way I could rescue Alice when it was this close and before I realized what it had done my right hand made contact with the beast's freakishly large eye.

"Come on! Are you ok?" I picked Alice up and pulled her forward, she ran without falter but I could tell she was trembling.

"Yeah."

"Good." I said, taking her clammy hand in mine.

"Come on!" I urged her to go faster when the sound of the Jabberwock's escape reached me. But going any faster was useless. The ground sunk away from us bringing us both to a less than graceful landing. I turned my head carefully, looking in dismay at the long, sharp spires that shared the forest floor with us.

"Ow…You ok?" Alice looked like she had landed closer to the spikes, but she sounded better than I felt.

"Just about" I climbed onto my side trying to get a better look at her. What did she mean by "just about" anyway? I stopped when I heard the Jabberwock closing in.

"Stay still." I doubted she would've moved anyway. The round head was casting a shadow over the pit now, it's strong breath reached all around us. It bit down on a spike and I closed my eyes, the creature's teeth were a few feet away from Alice. With a yelp it released the wooden spear and left us.

"Vermin!" An old shrill voice sounded just about our heads, I turned my head the other way to see a brightly clad man with a very interesting beard. "Saboteurs! Anarchists! I was this close to catching him" He held up two hands, then re-gauged the distance a bit, apparently he wasn't as close as he had originally thought. "This close. Degenerate bag heads!"

Author's Note: Up next- The Camp Fire scene. Don't be afraid my friends… this will contain a LOT less fluff than I could potentially give it with a LOT more wacky Hatter-ness and a heavy dose of Hatter-absolutelyadorableness. : )