Here we go, the latest chapter, never meant to be like this, but as I wrote it, it wrote itself like this. Still pretty angsty as Yondu finds out about the other life of the brain dead Peter.

Chapter 4

Yondu Udonta had never had a routine. He was the Captain of a bunch of Space Bastard's, living from one job to another and trying to enjoy moments in between. In all his years, he had never envisioned being a father.

One of the advantages of picking Peter up when he was eight was that the boy had a sense of who he was and Yondu had something to work with, if he were younger, or God forbid a baby, he would have been screwed. Yet now courtesy of the teen that was oblivious to all of this, he had stepped into the role,

His tentative routines, which normally begun with coffee and missions were replaced,by caring for the boy almost round the clock, beginning when he woke up and injected the nutrients into his arms to keep him alive, after which he passed him to Kraglin and Alezduran to give him a massage to prevent his bones from becoming too stiff.

Yondu had noticed he was easier to negotiate after this, and Alezduran apart from his other talents, growing up in a brothel also knew tricks that most of the Ravagers had never heard of. Yondu had initially observed the Xandarians working in silence, as Kraglin recalled the time this seemed to be his main job so many years earlier and remembered how Peter was in clear pain, he never complained once.

Eventually however the men got talking telling Peter on what he was missing out on, and that several of the Ravagers needed blaster repairs, so he needed to get his act together and wake up, they cheerfully, forced or otherwise informed

Alezduran in one of the tentative moments, had suggested to Kraglin, who had mentioned it to Yondu about taking the boy to a Healer, apparently the hybrid knew a few who could help. Something that the Captain had shot down with a dark look. He knew it would be fruitless, and was still wondering if Peter's father was still out there, and could still be after the teenager...and perhaps laughing his ass off at his own son's demise.

Even with being carried by Yondu, who took him on his daily walkabouts, so he would hear the chatter of the crew as everyone noticed, even though they weren't stupid to point it out, that Peter was shrinking.

It was as if the height was being drained from him, as according to Kraglin he begun to resemble the eight-year-old he once was. Yondu had noticed this, along with that his bald head was beginning to regrow itself, and he had gained a small head of stubbly fuzz which only contributed to making him look younger.

As the days moved closer and still nothing from the boy, even though he still slept, was washed and cared for by Yondu, he knew his time was almost up, and still nothing, which was the one thing that kept him up at night, and he held the teenager close to him, willing him to wake up, but still nothing from Peter, nothing to indicate life behind those green eyes as he checked his pupils almost daily.

In the end, with a ship to run he begun passing him to Kraglin, to get him involved in the mess hall. Kraglin didn't have it within himself to let Yondu know that most of them made themselves scarce at the sight of Peter. Their sadness giving way to embarrassment, which they wouldn't admit. In the end, Alezduran, Kraglin and Peter with occasional Horuz was making themselves comfortable in the mess playing rummy.

Years before Peter had, to his absolute joy found a fifty-two card deck in a market and had taught them to play the card games he remembered. Snap was popular, but turned violent easily, since being Ravagers they only had an incentive to play anything was if there were units involved. Peter had once mentioned that he was working on a game what the Ravagers would love, but this was before the incident and no one tried at least to think further than that.

It was at this time that Yondu was in Peter's room trying to find him something to wear, that he came across his collapsible mask lying on a shelf. Sitting at the end of the end of the bed, he activated it, watching the metal collapse on itself, and the red eyes glowed, waiting for the occupant to take a breath of the oxygen filter.

Yondu just stared at the mask, suddenly and uncomfortably aware that if Peter was wearing this, he could have lived, but since he was rare on missions he had never really needed it apart from space walks, as he recalled his tenth birthday and the gift he had given the child, "You're never going to take this off again, boy", he said to no one, but it was good to say.

Going through his clothing, he saw on the bottom of his drawer, not easily concealed, but a place where he could get to it quickly was the teens pad, it was battered when he had brought it when he was eight, but Peter had kept it in pretty good condition, as his hand fell across it and brought up the details.

There really want much, just some tech manuals, M-Ship information, a hell of a lot about Xander, as Yondu sat on the edge of the bed, shit the boy really did study everything, even down to the history and places to buy food, as Yondu spotted a file marked. "Danger, no looking", which made him chuckle. It was encoded but Peter hadn't really given this much thought as Yondu broke into it with his birthday numbers 21-06-1980 as the files came up on Peter's private video diary.

As the sight of the boy, popped into view, Yondu felt a stab of pity, Peter just have been at least eleven when he started this, his hair not as long as it soon would be, and once was, but in truth really no different from the boy having his body kneaded by two Xandarians, not too far away as he watched Peter clear his throat.

"Ok, so Alezduran suggested that I start this, because I'm a Ravager in training to chart my progress, and look back on this later", as he took a breath and exhaled, "And also because if I can't talk to someone, then I can talk to this, and get some clarity…because you know I'm a human and I live on a space ship".

For his first few videos, Peter didn't go into much, as if worried about what he would say, Yondu remembered at this point he was still doing lookouts, which he was a natural at as he moved ahead. Peter seemed to grow more confident, as he jumped to when he was twelve as he was describing the mission that had gone wrong, and Peter having narrowly avoided being raped courtesy of the actions of a Ravager who was now dead. As Peter described it, which was a few days after the events, Yondu noticed the shine in the boy's eyes.

"I mean, my side hurts like a bitch, but he's now dead, Kraglin was impressed, that I even tried to fight back. I got his cut and Yondu killed him, so he won't try that crap again…and I still can't believe that Yondu killed him in cold blood in the Mess". As Peter shook his head and grew more serious. "You know, sometimes I think that Yondu hates me".

Yondu paused the film at the boy's serious face and just thought for a second. Ok he was violating Peter's privacy, but Peter as far as he knew was currently brain dead, even though there was a part of him that knew he should have put the pad down and just left, it was over-ridden by his need to understand what the boy thought of him. Even though as Captain he really should have given two shits, as he activated the more films and kept watching.

There was a mixture of stuff, but most of it conveyed Peter frustrations at various things, a few times he had brought his work home with him, and was struggling to repair a blaster, Yondu immediately recognised as one of his own as the boy addressed the camera and the weapon, with the frustration all over his face.

"Oh Quill, I want this fixed by tomorrow…and that is an order. The asshole" Peter bit his lip, and tried to maneuverer the firing charger in place, with the aid of a soldering iron, as he signed "The worst thing is... I thought I would be going on the mission with him, but I'm not even a look out this time, even Az is going…but not me. He said "It's too dangerous""

As he exhaled once more, placing the firing charge in correctly as Yondu on the screen watched his weapon warm up. "I never get to go anywhere decent or do anything fun". As the boy checked the weapon and smiled as if coming to terms with his life. "But at least I'm pretty much the ships weapons expert now, because my hands are too small", as he laughed to himself. "I think it's because he feels bad because I'm so small". He rationalized, as Yondu watched Peter sending a message to the Captain in the past, and flicked the film off.

As Yondu scanned ahead, it was a familiar pattern, Peter expressing the frustrations of his life, his angst, the euphoria on his face when he had done something right and was practically bouncing on the bed with happiness, as he scanned further still to the time after his abduction, from the date it was about a week after he woke up in the Med Bay.

He was sitting at the end of his bed, with the haunted look in his eyes, as he absently scratched the back of his neck, Yondu noticed how pale as from the red rim of his eyes, looked like he'd been crying.

"Been off this for a few weeks, because I was kidnapped…oh my god it was hell."

Yondu leaned forward, as Peter described what had happened to him, starting with how proud he was, when he managed to save the crew, before he was hit on the back of the head, and woke up three weeks later. Yondu remembered this all too well, a Peter begun to describe the "Man in Black", and revealed the nightmares he was having before finishing with. "I called Yondu my father, I can't believe I did that…fuck knows why, but my life is a mess…"

The rest was pretty much a diatribe of angst, which Yondu was already aware of as he skipped forward a few weeks and saw the aftermath of Peter getting wasted that night, since he looked like shit. "Oh god I'm never drinking again, I so blame Alezduran for this, the asshole…but my beer was delicious".

Peter suddenly smiled. "That means Yondu loves it, and this means a solo mission…and a beach trip. Ok, the beach trip is just a dream, but it's a good dream". He maintained, even to himself, as, for the first time in ages, Yondu saw a genuine smile from the boy, which he couldn't help but imitate. "So I have to work harder, I have to work harder to show Yondu that I'm ready".

The words, the frequent mention of his name was beginning to grate on Yondu as he moved ahead, to straight after his first mission, which indirectly caused his brain damage. There was Peter, pretty much dressed in the rags that were once the blue dress, and looking like shit practically bouncing on the bed. "Oh my god, my first mission and it was awesome…and I got my first kiss too".

Even though Yondu knew all this, Peter looked so happy, revealing a side of himself no one ever saw, as he described Kruger, growing sombre when he mentioned the dead girls, but his happiness that he was behind bars and could never hurt anyone again.

Every word tore at Yondu as he moved ahead, to see Peter sitting there with the metal cup in his hand, and the adamantium drill, expertly engraving the words on the metal surface, "This has to do it, this had to make him like me". He said at the camera, too focused on his work to look into it, "He's now drinking Terran coffee, and giving me more stuff to do, ok he works me like a dog, and he's a bit of an asshole".

Peter stopped suddenly, taking a moment to scratch the back of his neck and grinned to himself. "Oh I'm going to put that on the inner casing, he'll love that. Can't get too sappy, after all". Yondu watched Peter hard at work and turned off the pad as the realisation hit suddenly.

Yondu Udonta, out of a habit he was developing, the same way Peter constantly scratched his neck, run his hand over his face. Oh shit, he thought to himself. Oh, shit…why hadn't he seen it?

With the room suddenly feeling claustrophobic, and the scent of Peter Jason Quill suddenly seemed saturated in every surface, Yondu got up quickly and left the room, he needed to speak to Kraglin, and even though he knew the Zatoan, the beer Peter had made for him wouldn't last forever, but right now he needed one, as one more day ticked down of Peter's life.

Ok, next chapter. Some hard decisions need to be made, but making them will change everything?

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