Part 4-Awake and Dreaming

Andy woke up with a headache. She was unsure of where she was at first. The room was dark, and cold. She reached beside her to find her bedside table's lamp, but her fingers felt a warm body instead. She turned, and she saw Sam, still in uniform, lying beside her. He stirred.

"Hey.", he said.

"What happened?", she asked.

"You don't remember?", he asked. She thought for a moment. There was a call, and they went to the grocery store, and Traci had been shot-

"Oh God, Traci!", Andy exclaimed. She began to get up, but then noticed she was hooked up to machines. And her leg hurt...badly. She gave a look of pure fear to Sam.

"Hey, hey, easy.", Sam said. He gently pushed her back down and covered her back up. He brushed a hand through her hair and sighed.

"You were hit too, upper thigh."

"Oh, so that's why it hurts so much.", she said. She remembered being hit, but she thought it was just a graze.

She smiled at Sam.

"How is she?" she asked Sam.

"She's good. She's awake, she's with Jerry and Leo."

"Oh, so then she must be happy.", Andy said.

"Yep. Happy as a clam.", he said. He snuggled closer to her.

"You scared the hell out of me, you know.", he said.

"Sorry.", she said. Then she groaned, and Sam got up quickly, scared he'd hurt her.

"No, no, it's okay. It's just...my first day on the job and I'm already off again." Sam chuckled.

"I think you're accident prone, McNally.", he said.

"Ugh, or cursed."

"No, not cursed.", he said, and he rubbed noses with her. Then he grabbed her closer, and they spent the next few seconds gazing into each others' eyes. They were interrupted by Jerry.

"So sorry, Sammy, but I've been sent on a mission. Trace wants to know if you'd come see her, if you're up to it, Andy. I brought your chariot.", he said, smiling and indicating the wheelchair he held in both hands.

"Ooh, all for me!, she asked, grinning.

"Okay, help me up.", she said to Sam. He helped her stand, and him and Jerry went on either side of her. Jerry pushed her IV tower, and supported her with his other hand, while Sam supported her injured leg. They brought her to the wheelchair, and Sam gently sat her down.

"Ready?", he asked. She nodded, and they made their way to Traci's room, making small chatter as they went. Once there, Andy took in everything. Traci was sitting up and reading a book to Leo, and her mom was sitting in the arm chair, fascinated with the tale as well. Traci kept changing her voice for all the speaking parts, to play different characters. She looked up when Andy came in.

"Hey!", she said.

"Oh, I'm so happy to see you!", Andy said. They hugged, and Sam and Jerry looked on with a smile.

"What are you reading?", Andy asked after all the hugging was done.

"Green Eggs and Ham.", Traci said.

"Oh, I love that book.", Andy said. She settled in to listen to the rest of the story with them, and Jerry went to sit beside her on the bed. He stroked her hair as she read, and Andy watched them, fascinated. She wondered if her and Sam looked like that. She could see the love in Jerry's eyes. The happiness and relief that she was okay, also. Traci finished the story, and when she looked down, Leo was asleep.

"Awwww.", Andy said, chuckling. Traci's mom came and scooped him up and laid him in the armchair.

"Guy's tired out. We've all been here since yesterday.", Jerry said.

"Yea. We're going to head home. Since I see you're in good hands.", Traci's mom said. She winked at Jerry with a smile, and gave Trace a quick hug. She then gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead and began gathering their things together. After scooping up Leo, she held him out to Traci for a quick kiss.

"Bye, baby.", Traci said to him. He didn't stir. She stroked his hair and then they were gone.

"So, how are you?", Andy asked.

"Well, they gave me some pretty good drugs, but I'm not going to say it doesn't hurt.", Traci said.

"How about you?"

"My leg aches. I thought I just got grazed, but Sam told me it actually hit an artery."

"Scary.", Traci said. She made a face. Andy patted her hand, and they shared a smile. Without any words, the two of them had just shared a moment. Sam and Jerry shared a confused look.

"Well, I think that's my cue to get you back in bed, young lady.", Sam joked. Andy snorted.

"I could run circles around you. And we both know I could kick your ass.", she said. He just smiled, and began wheeling her out of the room.

Jerry looked at Traci, who'd closed her eyes.

"Well, I got my first write-up in ten years today.", he said casually. She opened her eyes.

"What?", she asked.

"Yea, I grabbed that guy from the store by the throat. I was mad. He was there."

"Jerry.", Traci said.

"You really scared the hell out of me, Trace. I thought I'd lost you.", was all he said.

"I'm sorry.", she said. He pulled her close and drank everything in for a moment. Her eyes were closed, so she couldn't see the tears falling down his face. She could feel him shaking though, and she looked up.

"Aww, Jer.", she said. "I'm here. I'm here." She held him while he cried like a baby.

When Sam got Andy back to her room, she insisted he go home for a few hours to change and shower.

"You smell.", she said.

"Well, you don't smell like roses yourself.", he teased. But he began to rise, and Andy stopped him. She pulled him in for a kiss.

"You were really brave today, Andy.", Sam said. "You're a fighter."

She just smiled. Then she gave him a quick spank.

"Get outta here before I change my mind.", she warned. He kissed her again, long and deep, and then he was gone. Once she was sure that he was completely gone, Andy took the moment to do what she'd been wanting to do for some time. She broke down. The sobs came deep from her chest, and she stayed like that for some time.

Sam wasn't an idiot. He knew why Andy had asked him to leave. She played herself off as strong, but he could see how hard she tried to fight back the tears that he could only imagine were flowing right now. He fought every urge to turn around and comfort her. He knew she needed this, though. It had been a crazy first few days back for them. In truth, she'd been back one day and she'd already been shot. Must strengthen the belief for her that she was cursed. She said it all the time. He really felt for her. Sam sighed as he climbed into his squad. He might as well head back to the barn. He had a mountain of paperwork that wasn't going to do itself.

Dov and Chris were at the flower store.

"Okay, I know that Traci likes lilies, but what does Andy like?", Dov asked.

"Wait, how do you know Traci likes lilies?", Chris countered.

"Remember that one day that Dex dropped off flowers for her? All lilies. A guy doesn't drop off a whole bouquet of the same flower if the girl doesn't prefer them."

"Good police work!", Chris said. Dov smiled.

"Uh, well what about roses? Every girl likes roses.", Chris stated.

"Ok, yea, sure, but what color? They have roses in every color of the rainbow here.", Dov said.

"Red's fine. I mean, aren't we over thinking this a little? It isn't like these are our women, anyway. I mean, getting them flowers is all well and good, but too much over thinking and someone's bound to assume we have feelings for them...and I don't know about you, but they had to pick two of the most bad-ass coppers in 15; I wouldn't wanna go up against them."

"Jerry, bad-ass? How do you figure?"

"Okay, you weren't there when he grabbed that one guy, Michael Forlan? Yea, from what Traci told me, he pretty much tried to strangle the guy. And then today, with the shooter? Tell me again Jerry's not bad-ass.", Chris countered.

"Okay, he's sorta bad-ass then."

"I know I wouldn't wanna go up against him. And we know Swarek's bad-ass. He was tortured by a drug lord, and I saw how he beat the hell outta Luke.", Chris bragged.

"Yea, see, Swarek I can see as bad-ass. You gotta be bad-ass to work Guns and Gangs."

"Yea, no kidding. Okay, so roses it is.", Chris stated.

"Uh, we're gonna get six of the roses, and six lilies, please.", Chris said to the clerk. The clerk wrapped them all up nice and pretty, and handed them to the guys.

"So, should we just head in together, give both ladies the flowers?"

"Uh, I'm not going in alone. No thank you.", Dov said.

"Alright then."

On the drive over to the hospital, Dov attempted to make small talk with his buddy.

"So, did you see Gail cozying it up to Luke last night at the Penny?"

"Pfft. Yeah. He looked like she was just arm candy. Wasn't even into it."

"Of course not, Frosty's no Andy. But Luke already duked it out once with Sam, and look how that turned out.", Dov said.

"Yea. That's one guy I'd never wanna mess with."

"Yea, but what about Sam though? He's got major balls going after Andy; she's damaged goods."

"Dov, that's our friend we're talking about. We can't just talk about her like that."

"Oh, come on, Chris. I mean, I love Andy; but she is damaged."

"And how would you be if Sue had been the one to cheat?"

'Yea. Fair enough."

They pulled up to the hospital and made their way to Traci's room. When they got there, Jerry and Leo were there, but no Traci.

"Uh, hey guys. Traci's with Andy for a sec. Andy had to get her leg redressed and get her stitches out, and apparently she's kinda a baby about this stuff, so...what's up?"

"Oh, uh...we brought flowers.", Chris said, holding up the lilies.

"Hey, wow, that's awesome, guys. Uh...here.", Jerry said. He cleared out some dead flowers from a vase and grabbed the lilies from Chris.

"Traci loves lilies. How'd you know?", Jerry asked.

"Uh, well, I was on probation with her when Dex gave her those flowers."

"Right. Right. Whole "stripper fiasco.", Jerry said.

"Yea, thanks for refreshing my memory.", Dov said. He glanced around at all the cards and flowers.

"You ever notice people don't seem to give a damn about you until something bad happens? Then they send cards, flowers, chocolate.", he stated, holding up an empty chocolate box.

"Yea, well, tragedy changes people, Epstein. It hits their soft side. The problem is people get busy, and you know they care, they're just...busy."

"Yea, but there's cards here from the whole division. Does Traci even know half these people."

"Probably not, but we're all family, Epstein. Regardless of if she's met them, she's still part of that family."

"Yea, but Andy's room is practically bare compared to this."

"See, and that's a touchy subject. Look, you didn't hear it from me, but Sam and Andy, regardless of being our friends, broke protocol. That goes directly hand in hand with Boyd getting suspended. Boyd was liked by a lot of guys, and a lot of them also don't agree that Sam and Andy should be allowed to work together. They did break protocol, and basically got a slap on the wrist."

"Ya, I guess you're right. We didn't really look at it like that.", Chris said.

"No, and you wouldn't, because you're biased. I can see it, because of how long I've been doing my job. A little more time on the force, and you guys will be able to distinguish right from wrong without it altering your opinion on your friends."

"Uh, okay, well, let Traci know we stopped by."

"Well, tell her yourself. I assume you're headed to Andy's room, unless one of you really likes roses. Is it you, Diaz?", Jerry joked.

"No. Why does everyone always assume I'm gay?", he asked aloud.

Jerry just smiled. '

"Have a good day, officers."

As they left, Chris and Dov pondered over everything Jerry had said.

"Hey, if he's right, that means it really sucks to be Andy and Sam right now.", Chris said.

"Yea, people will be judging them both pretty bad."

"Yea. It sucks, too, because Luke's well-liked and now it makes Sam look bad."

"Right, because Luke cheating on Andy really made him look like a peach.", Dov said.

"Well, no, probably not, but Luke's been here a bit longer than Andy, so I'd imagine he's gained more followers. I mean, we've only been here two years. We're still newbies."

"Man, that sucks. Even though we've been here that long, people still baby us."

"Yea, I know, man. It's like, we still need the TOs to hold our hands.", Chris complained.

They reached Andy's room, and when they walked in, Andy and Traci were hitting each other with pillows.

"Hey, whoa, now that is a great sight to see. All that's missing is skimpy underwear.", Dov said.

"Dov, Chris!", Andy exclaimed. She jumped off the bed and limped over to give them each a hug. "Where the hell have you been? We've missed you. Everyone's all serious and lame.", she whined.

"Yea, even Jerry's been all serious, and usually he's joking it up. It seriously blows.", Traci added.

"Well, we come bearing gifts, except, Trace, yours are back at your room.", Chris said. He held up the roses for Andy.

"Ooh, I like flowers. Is there a card, too?"

"Nah, we aren't "wordy" types."

"Well, you brought flowers! Even Sam hasn't given me flowers."

"That's 'cuz Sam's not a "flower-givin' guy.", Sam said from the door. He patted both Chris and Dov on the back.

"Thanks. Got me in trouble.", he joked.

"Sorry.", Chris said. He smiled.

"Well, we figured it's the least we can do. Oh, that, and your paperwork, except most of that has been Gail."

"Eww, why's the Snow Queen being so nice?", she said frostily.

"Well, it isn't by choice, believe us. Frank assigned all us rookies to pick up the slack. She wasn't stoked about it, but she's a white-shirt waiting to happen. If she disobeys Frank, she might just die!", Dov exclaimed in fake dramatics.

"Heh heh. Did you get a good look to see if her nose turned brown?", Sam asked. Chris and Dov looked at him in amazement.

"What? Something on my face?", Sam asked.

"No, we just didn't expect that from you.", Chris said.

"Heh. Peck's been brown-nosing since day one. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to spot it."

Traci stood up, and Andy grabbed her arm.

"Hey, you leaving?", Andy asked.

"Yea. Jerry's alone with Leo. Gotta go rescue him."

"Are you kidding me? Guy's probably living it up right now. He's got this weird fascination with children; thinks they all view him as a superhero or something. And we're the unis."

"Yea, Leo likes Jerry, but I miss being away from him.", she said.

"Well, tell Jerry I said hi. Remind him we got poker tonight at Callaghan's.", Sam said. Traci nodded on her way out.

"You're playing poker at Luke's?", Andy asked.

"Not my idea, trust me. And not one he's particularly pleased on, either. At least not where I'm concerned. But before all the drama we all agreed to trade off places, give the wives and families a break from the craziness."

"Pfft. Wives. The only one you've gotta worry about is Zöe. No one else has a wife."

"Yea, well...have you met Zöe? She can be pretty intense."

"Yea, didn't she kick Shaw out for watching strippers?", Chris asked.

"Yep. That she did. Shaw spent the night on my couch, and ate a whole tub of ice cream like a girl."

"My kinda woman!", Andy said. Sam shot her a look.

"What? You frequent strip joints?"

"Nope, can't say I'm a fan.", Sam said.

"Well, then, you can rest easy, my friend.", she said.

"Oh, friend, hey?", he said, and nuzzled noses with her.

"Okay, I think that's our cue to leave.", Dov said.

"Yea, I'd say so. Don't you have McNally's paperwork to do? Can't leave it all to Peck; have you seen her penmanship, cuz I have, and it's not great."

"True.", Andy said.

"Hey, guys, thanks. No one's ever brought me flowers before.

"Least we can do. You guys volunteered to go in there. It shoulda been us up front."

"Hey, none of that. You guys went in there, too." she said.

"Hey, there's no blame here, alright? No one coulda predicted that.", Sam said.

"Thanks, sir. Alright, well, hope to see you back to work soon!", Chris said.

"Yea, I can't wait to get out of here.", Andy said.

Chris and Dov waved goodbye and left. Sam and Andy were now alone, which meant they could talk.

"So, Andy, I know it's bad timing...but I think we need to talk about everything."

"What do you mean?", she asked.

"Well, what are we?", he asked, motioning the space between them.

"We're partners. We're friends."

"That's it? Just friends.", Sam stated. He looked pissed.

"Well, no, obviously more...I just haven't really given any thought to it yet. I mean, I know how I feel."

"Oh yeah? And how's that?"

"Well-". She stopped, speechless. She really hadn't given it a thought.

"You know what? When you figure it out, gimme a call. You know where I'll be."

Sam, don't-". She tried to grab his arm, but he was too fast for her. He evaded her arm and left.

On the way out, Sam ran into Jerry.

"Hey, Sammy, still on for poker tonight?", Jerry asked.

"Yup.", Sam said brusquely.

"Hey, everything okay, buddy?"

"Sure. Yep."

"Sammy, what's eating you?", Jerry asked.

"Just- McNally. Hasn't really given any thought to what we are, yet."

"You know, man...it took Traci and I a while too. You guys will figure it out."

"After all that, though. After Brennan, and the last few weeks...I thought she'd at least have some idea."

"I know this. When you were being held by Brennan, she risked everything going to Frank. Her job, your job. Then when she figured out you'd been hurt, she took Traci's car and came to your house, alone, without any backup or protection, to find out if you were okay. That, you don't do if you're just "buddies." So, regardless of what she may have said, or not said, everyone and their dog can see that she cares about you."

"Yea, well it'd be nice to hear it."

"You guys will figure it out. I mean, cut the girl a break. She's probably still reeling from the breakup with Luke, too. I mean, when you work with them like that...it's...hard."

Sam knew that Jerry could relate. His ex was a uni from 27. Same situation with Jerry, too. Caught her red-handed with her partner. Jerry spent weeks recovering from that, with many a night spent being dragged from the Penny by Sam or Oliver, sometimes both.

"I just wish she'd talk to me. It was so easy to talk to her before everything."

"Have you tried partnering her with someone else? I mean, I know you love working with her, but maybe it'll help."

"Yea, I just think if that were the case, I'd spend way too much time worrying about her. Then I wouldn't be able to get the job done right."

"You know how much time I spend worrying about Traci, so I hear you on that. But you just gotta try and work it out. You know? You spend too much time worrying about something like this, it's gonna eat you alive."

"I hear you, brother." Sam sighed, and crushed the Styrofoam coffee cup he was holding.

"All right, I gotta get back to work. Tell Nash hi for me, okay?"

"Will do.", he said.

Jerry watched Sam's back as he walked out. Sometimes he worried about that guy. He was like a time bomb waiting to go off, and Jerry wasn't sure he wanted to be there for the detonation.