Chapter 4

Note: All flashback for this chapter…. I'll get back to the main story line soon! Thanks for reading and hope you are liking it!

FLASHBACK

Abby shot out of bed as she heard the front door slam shut. "Eliot!?" she called.

It was silent for a few moments before the tall man dressed in dirty jeans and t-shirt poked his head in the bedroom door. "Yeah, it's just me. Go back to sleep."

"Can't now." Abby rubbed her eyes. "C'mere." She patted the bed.

He stripped off his dirty shirt, tossing it on the floor and cautiously sat down next to her. She reached for him and even though he hesitated, he let her pull him into an embrace. He breathed in the scent of her hair. "God I missed you," he whispered.

She clung to him tighter. "Where have you been?"

"You know I can't tell you that."

She nodded into his neck. "I thought you got out of special ops for that exact reason."

He stiffened. "I know. I'm tryin' to make a better life for you… for us. But…" He trembled and Abby noticed.

She pulled him back so he would look at her. "What's wrong El?"

He wouldn't meet her gaze. After what seemed like an eternity, he spoke. "I crossed a line, Abbs."
She started to make a joke, but sensed the severity of what he was telling her. Her voice cracked. "A line?"

He was once again silent for a long while. "God, I made a huge mistake." He pulled her arms down and away from his body and began pacing the floor. "I should never have gotten involved with this guy," he shook his head.

She'd never seen him like this. He was always so cool and collected, so confident. He ran his hand through his messy hair. Outside, a storm was brewing, thunder rumbling angrily in the distance. As the first flash of lightening lit the room, Abby saw the pools of unshed tears in Eliot's eyes. His gaze met hers and she saw raw fear and it scared her. She tried not to imagine what he had done to make him react this way. "Eliot, honey, you're scaring me," she whispered.

"Abby, I am so sorry." He looked into her eyes once again and she saw the walls that he was quickly constructing around his emotions. He grabbed his head with both hands as if trying to clear his memories and turned beginning to grab things out the dresser behind him.

Abby's eyes widened. "What are you doing!?" she gasped.

"It ain't safe for me to stay here with you. I'm gonna have to leave the country for a while."

Abby launched herself out of the bed and hugged him from behind. "Let me go with you," she pleaded.

"NO!" Eliot yelled, shrugging out of her grasp. He turned and saw the fear in her eyes. He hadn't meant to scare her. "No," he repeated softly. "It's not safe with me… not anymore."

Abby began crying, realizing that she wasn't going to be able to stop the man she loved from walking away. She followed him into the bathroom. He was grabbing various toiletries and shoving them into the duffel he had retrieved from the hall.

"Why are you doing this to me… to us?" she almost whispered, her voice cracking. He didn't answer her, ignoring also the fact that she had joined him in the small room. "Answer me, Eliot!" she yelled, getting angrier with each silent second. He refused to look at her, not trusting himself with his emotions, and continued with the task at hand. "Dammit Eliot, look at me!" Without really thinking, she picked up the hairdryer from the counter and chucked it at his back.

He spun when the object connected with his body. The harsh look in his eyes made Abby gasp. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…" She approached him, tears staining her cheeks.

He held his hand up to stop her. "Don't," he growled. "I'd just as rather you hate me."

"I could never…" Abby began.

"Oh yes you could." He roughly grabbed her by the arm and held her just inches from him. "I did something horrible this time…. I sold my soul to the devil."

"Eliot you couldn't…. you're a good person!"

Eliot gripped her arm tighter. "I killed innocent people Abby!" He yelled. "I went in and killed the mark and his wife and his child!"

Abby suddenly felt dizzy and stumbled backwards, his arm gripping hers just a little too tightly. She gasped in horror and shock.

"Now do you understand!?" he asked, still in a shouting tone. "Now can you hate me!? Cuz I sure as hell hate myself!" He released her and pushed his way out the door.

Abby was stunned. She couldn't move, couldn't speak. She just stood there, leaning hard against the counter so she wouldn't fall to the floor. She couldn't believe what she'd just heard.

It had been a good fifteen minutes when Eliot peered back around the corner into the bathroom. What he saw made his heart wrench. There she was, the girl he loved more than anything, sitting on the bathroom counter, stunned into silence. He cleared his throat and she looked up at him. Her tears had stopped falling down her cheeks and they left behind a salty residue. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets. "I'm leaving," he said quietly. She managed a small nod, fresh tears beginning to flow.

"Abbs, this is what I gotta do." He sighed. "When I tell this guy I want out, he's gonna come after me and I can't have you gettin' hurt." He picked up his duffel and turned to leave. "I couldn't live if somethin' happened to you," he added quietly.

Part of Abby wanted to stop him or at least say goodbye and part of her wanted to punch him. She did the only thing her body could manage and wiggled the diamond ring off her finger and threw it at his retreating form.

He knew what she had thrown at him as soon as he heard it hit the hard floor. He knelt down and picked it up, grasping it tightly in his palm. "I'll always love ya Abbs," he whispered, still not turning to face her.

Abby bent her head as a sob escaped her throat. When she looked back up, he was gone. Panic filled her and she bolted off the counter, searching the apartment for him, but it was too late. She crumpled to the floor, crying harder than she ever had in her life. It wasn't until a couple hours later when she awoke on the living room floor that she saw the engagement ring lying on the coffee table.