Chapter Four
Tegan wiped her eyes on the hanky the Doctor offered.
"Why did you make me relive that thing in my head?" she demanded.
"When you refused to answer I was worried that some how a piece of the Mara had remained in your mind. I had to know, it is far too dangerous to allow a piece of that creature to exist," he explained, secretly still hoping there wasn't.
"I'm dangerous too Doctor, if I wasn't so glad to see you then I'd clobber you!" she said half smiling.
"What has happened to you?" Turlough asked, "We've only been gone about two weeks!".
"Two weeks?" Tegan asked, "You've got a crossed circuit somewhere!"
"How long as it been for you?" the Doctor asked.
"Its 1989!" she exclaimed.
"Oh," he replied.
"Five years!" Turlough exclaimed remembering that the Doctor had told them it was 1984 when they'd landed before.
" Nearer six actually. Just a minor reason why I'd look a little different!" she laughed with relief. Finally there was someone to take over her burden of being responsible for everyone. Or at least lighten it a little.
"I'm so sorry I didn't recognise you, Tegan. You just look so strange!" Turlough said.
"Strange as in war-time refugee?" she asked.
"Strange as in no high heels and short tight skirts," the Doctor remarked.
"Did wear a lot of them, didn't I?" she muttered, staring down at her tatty brown trousers.
"I never could understand how you could run in them," Turlough said.
"I couldn't, why do you think I swopped to these!" she exclaimed.
"Tegan, why are there Daleks here?" the Doctor asked.
"So much for 'Hi Tegan, missed you these last six years. How have you been doing? How's the weather etc. etc.'" she commented dryly.
"Miss you?" the Doctor asked, "Why would I do that?"
"Because I used to drive you bonkers!" Tegan teased, "Must have been peaceful without me!".
"Too peaceful" Turlough said, "We only ran into one uncontrollable demon, two aliens who wanted to destroy the universe and a mad man who believed that he actually did control the universe!".
"Why does that not surprise me?" she asked, " Business as usual".
"Tegan!" the Doctor exclaimed even more impatiently.
"Yes, Doctor?" she asked innocently.
"The Daleks?" he asked through gritted teeth.
"I'd almost forgotten about them, I have to get to my troops," she replied getting up. She felt very dizzy immediately.
"You must rest for a while first" the Doctor insisted.
"There will be time for rest later. Right now my troops need me, so I will be there for them. It is my duty as Commander," she informed him coldly.
"The Tegan I knew would never have had troops or been a Commander. She hated violence as much as I do," he commented softly.
"Your Tegan hadn't been left on a war ruined Earth, all alone, with the choice of joining the resistance group and fight for her planet's freedom, or die slowly and painfully!" she exclaimed.
"I was lucky to even get that choice," Tegan continued more quietly.
"Doesn't sound like you've been having much fun," Turlough commented
"I've been fighting almost non stop for my entire six year stay. No long breaks, no holidays, no trips off to the Eye of Orion to relax. Just kill or be killed. You try living like that!" she snapped.
Tegan collected her bag and pushed passed them into the corridor.
Her 'friends' followed at a discreet distance. Tegan ignored the fact that they were whispering about her. It had been a long time. She'd had to change so much just to survive it wasn't surprising that they hardly recognised her.
With an instinct she'd long forgotten, she weaved her way through the endlessly twisting featureless white corridors towards the console room.
Tegan smiled as she entered. Everything was just the same as she remembered. The console in the centre of the room, humming faintly. Brilliant white walls with hundreds of roundels inset into the wall. She knew they were often used for storage, but had no idea what was in most of them.
She walked around the console looking at the millions of insanely complex dials, buttons, levers and view screens, wondering if any of them worked any better now.
Noticed in the corner of her eye, the hat stand over by the double doors, where it normally stayed. They only thing missing was her fuzzy coat that used the hang there.
The missing coat pulled Tegan sharply away from her memories. Reminding her that she unluckily no longer belonged to this place or the Doctor's time line. All this was almost six years in her past. Something she couldn't alter now.
She heard a noise in the doorway and turned. The Doctor was standing there. Turlough just behind him. Tegan wondered how long they'd been there and if they'd seen her wandering around like an idiot caught in a web of memories.
"How long have you been there?" she whispered.
"Long enough," The Doctor answered softly.
"Long enough for what?" she asked, not expecting a reply. Which was good, as he didn't give her one.
Turlough walked over and switched on the wall mounted scanner. The street outside was empty.
"Looks like your Daleks are gone," he commented.
"For now, they'll be back with loads of others soon," Tegan answered.
"Long enough to know you need rest and a safe place," the Doctor commented suddenly.
"Are you on time delay?" Tegan asked annoyed.
"The Doctor is right, you should rest," Turlough added.
"There is no point trying to stop me. I have to go, you must understand that I have no choice. These people rely on me totally, I can't let hem down. And nothing short of punching me out will stop me from going to them, Doctor. I know that's something you could never do," she insisted.
"I am not letting you out of here, Tegan," the Doctor said firmly, "You need rest and medical help. I made the mistake of not getting you that before and it cost me our companionship and nearly your friendship as well. I won't risk that again!"
"You lost my friendship a long time ago. Nothing you can do to change that. I need your help, that's the only reason I'm still here," Tegan snapped.
The Doctor looked understandably hurt. If Tegan wasn't in so much of a hurry, she would have said she was sorry. There was no time, the attack must have been hours before. She was needed again. If her troops were to survive, then she had to hurry back to base.
He couldn't understand what he had done to upset his friend so much. Although they hadn't parted on the best of terms, Tegan hadn't shown that she hated him. In fact she had mentioned several times how much she'd miss him. Which she had done again, just minutes before this.
"You can't stop me from leaving," Tegan commented, breaking his train of thought.
"I can and I will," the Doctor said stubbornly.
"And what would that be?" she asked.
"I simply won't open the doors," he answered.
Tegan smiled, "You are bluffing."
"I never bluff," the Doctor said.
"What about when ..." Turlough started to say.
"That was different," the Doctor snapped.
Tegan walked around to the other side of the console, the side nearer the door. She studied the controls for a moment and then reached out towards a large red switch, pulling it downwards.
Nothing happened.
"Like I said, without me you are stuck here," the Doctor commented.
Tegan glared at him, "Open the door or you'll regret it!"
"If I opened that door and lost you again I'd regret it," the Doctor whispered. An uncharacteristic comment showing his true feelings for once.
"I'm already a lost soul," Tegan said, "The Daleks took everything I have ever cared about and everything else I might have as well. My only reason for living is to win this war. To make sure no one else has to suffer the horrors I have!".
She leaned down and slammed her fist into the console, remembering at last, the Doctor's normal cure for any mechanical problems. The doors glided open quietly.
"Coming with me?" Tegan asked, "Or are you just too scared to find out just what you've caused here?" She walked outside without waiting for a reply.
"We have to go after her," Turlough said.
"We will, Tegan needs our help. Just give her a few moments to calm down," the Doctor answered.
Turlough suspected that it was really the Doctor who needed time to recover.
The Doctor's quick glance in his direction and he collected his hat from the coat stand confirmed that.
As did the quiet 'Come Along'.