301. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Titan Shifters.

302. The newer soldiers are not there to do my chores for me.

303. - Neither are my friends.

304. Sir Terry Pratchett is a wise man. I will study everything I can about Lord Vetinari. It may be better to be loved, or feared, but it is better to be permanent than either. And this world desperately needs that kind of aid.

305. I will, however, note that not everyone goes into fiction that well and be ready to deal with Genre Blind idiots. Which is everyone.

306. I will fulfill my end of all contracts, in full, as soon as promised. Even though it might be fun to alter deals halfway through, that's just begging the other party to perform a Heel–Face Turn. And I will not quibble about Exact Words either, unless they're playing the wise guy.

307. - I will never promise to uphold my end of the deal before the other party upholds theirs. Just because I want repeat customers doesn't mean I can trust everyone else. (I will ensure this at the promise-making point of the deal.)

308. Kenny did not kill any of my relatives and does not deserve to die.

309. I will have a member of the inner circle whose sole job will be to criticize my plans and point out their flaws. I will listen to him.

310. I will not follow complex instructions in reverse order 'to see what happens'.

311. I will not make a Deal with the Devil. Ever. If I ever am in the position where Satan himself approaches me with an offer I think sounds good, then I will carefully review the chain of events which led me to that situation.

312. -If I am the Devil or otherwise a mystical creature who likes screwing people over with deals, I'll let someone insignificant "win" once in a blue moon. Maybe I'll pretend to lose, or maybe it'll just be a straight-up "honest" exchange. Then I'll make certain that word of this incident gets out. Why? Because it works for casinos and lotteries. Far more souls will be willing to risk it than if every deal I ever make goes sour.

313. I will not maintain Medieval Stasis when/if I get status or power; I will encourage the march forward with technology. I will research Psychic Powers, Functional Magic, and Ki Attacks to surprise any opponents with. Let's see them cope with an unexpected Genre Shift from Miltiary War and Horror to Dungeon Punk

314. I will not wield any gun or sword in any combination as my primary weapon. My primary weapon will always be magic and explosives. The gun/sword is a backup.

315. I shall remember that it is illegal to stab people just because I find them annoying. No more repeats.

316. I am not allowed to host sewing, knitting or blacksmithing events ever again.

317. I am not allowed to add pictures of anyone I don't like to War Criminal posters. Again.

318. "All's fair in love and war" is not an official motto of the Survey Corps.

319. -Nor is "To error is human, to forgive is not company policy"

320. I will not attempt to make any crackpot's conspiracy theories come true. Again

321. Mikasa's problem is not that "she needs to get laid".

322. Krista is not a small animal and I will not carry her around like one.

323. I am not allowed to train adopted stray animals to attack my superiors

324. -Nor am I allowed to name them any of the following: Cide, Kill, Killer, Maim, or Fluffy

325. Even if I myself to do not believe in it, I will outwardly respect that the populace worship Titans and walls.

326. If I can't replicate it, I can't fix it. If I can't fix it, I can't control it. If I can't control it, I will not use it.

327. I will not have anyone work on a project involving something that had killed their families or traumatized in any way without their explicit consent.

328. I will not be a Slave to PR; how I will act and appear before the public eye will be based solely on how such action would be the most beneficial to my plans at the time. Not only will this leave me open to myriad more options to achieve my goals than usual, it'll also confuse the hell out of my PR-shackled enemies and rivals, preventing them from predicting my next course of action and rallying a revolt against me among the (most likely equally confuddled) masses.

329. If any of my allies proposes their own plan to destroy the enemy/conquer or save the planet/etc., they will be instructed to take their proposal to a crack R&D team; that team, in turn, will be instructed only to outright reject proposals that, after all reasonable fine-tuning to them has been exhausted, are simply too costly or unreliable compared to the possible advantage gained. I will of course have the final say on which proposals will be accepted or not, but creativity and refinement will be emphasized with all plans submitted. At the very least, the illusion given that I actually care about my allies' little pet projects will keep them from turning against me in an attempt to prove "it'll really work, honest".

330. -If one of these schemes is good enough to implement, the person behind it will be right there by my side while it's carried out, and receive full credit for their idea. Not only will it encourage further innovation among the ranks, but it'll paint him as the target instead of me when someone comes to thwart the scheme and keep me from looking like a General Failure if the plan goes to hell in a hand-basket.

331. The Survey Corps does not have nor require a weekly evening of playing cards and so on.

332. I will encourage a strong sense of camaraderie amongst my allies and the communities. Won't my enemies be surprised when a posse ten thousand strong puts The Power of Love and Friendship on my side?

333. I will, however, remember that although eternal love and devotion are nice, they are not the same as eternal loyalty.

334. I will periodically send assassins to kill random conspiracy nuts in suspicious-looking ways. There is little danger that they will find out about my plans and no one would have believed them anyway, but the lead characters will be convinced that they were killed for what they knew and will get so wrapped up in trying to foil my diabolical plan to give all trees epilepsy that my real plans will go unchallenged. Plus it gives assassins something to do.

335. -I will double-check the tinfoil hat theories before killing the tinfoil hatter that came up with them. If it's not something I want people to believe, has nothing to do with me, or seems like something I might want to implement in the near future, the crazy guy gets hired. It's important to think outside the box.

336. Satisfying as it may be to humiliate my enemies, I will not demand that they kneel at my feet. It always goes downhill from there.

337. If I have a ability that I don't have to worry about backlash and is mostly limitless, I'll freaking use it every time.

338. I will be aware of my emotions and take care to keep them in perspective as no emotion is useless. Each of them is a highly conditioned evolutionary response that helped ensure my species' survival for countless years

339. I will not go into other people's minds looking for graphic and embarrassing sex scenes.

340. "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in exile, and I should not tell that to others.

341. When someone is about to kill them, the majority of people will either beg for their lives, or break down completely. The minority will face their death with courage. Be careful of the minority.

342. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Eren who died and made him boss.

343. Should I ever, through my scheming, come up with fantastically profitable technology, screw it. I'll drop my vendettas and sell the technology for a profit. That should guarantee I'll live a life of comfort and ease. I'll even make regular donations to charity, and rein in my friends to keep them from doing anything evil. No one will go after me if I'm just another law-abiding citizen.

344. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to me.

345. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of those who control my job security and/or money.

346. I am not allowed to play hide and seek when on missions. Anymore.

347. I am not allowed to play tag with Titans anymore.

348. I am not allowed to ask Levi if the size of his swords is 'compensating for something'. He doesn't appreciate the reference.

349. If my enemy is a Mary Sue... I'm leaving that world. Dealing with that kind of character will be far more trouble than it's worth.

350. If I have the ability to bring people back from the dead, I will milk it for all it's worth

351. The 104th training corps are not "my bitches".

352. Whenever the phrase "Is this crap flammable?" is heard, RUN. 9 for 10, the source of that phrase already has a match burning and is finding out. Half the time I am the source, as such I should get my pyromania under control.

353. I will not start a rumor saying that Eren sings "I'm too sexy" after Titan shifting. Or for that matter doing any other activity.

354. Voices in my head do not constitute lawful orders. Even if they do make more sense than the orders others give out.

355. Screw the "never bring swords to a gunfight" rules. I will, of course, bring a gun, but I will also bring several knives and a strangling cord to any fight I have.

356. Locals are not required to kneel before me.

357. Humanity's soldiers do not "consume the flesh of their fallen enemies to gain their strength." That's what Titans are for after all.

358. Hedonism is not an Government authorized religion. Therefore I'm not allowed to build a church, cult, or donation box for the Church of Hedonism. Nor can I be the chaplain of said church.

359. I may not hold a vote to decide which noble family we can "boot out of the city".

360. Pillaging is not an official mission stage.

361. I am not to "walk on water" in front of gullible people.

362. -Especially if I use skills to summon fog around my legs, use create fire or lightning to give me a 'heavenly glow' and pick the time to do this when everyone is fleeing Wall Maria.

363. Request forms saying, "Respectfully requesting a stab to the neck." will always be denied.

364. -Even though it brings a sadistic smile to Levi's face.

365. I am not a Government Slave.

366. -Even though mind control is real.

367. I am not allowed to build anything without supervision

368. I am not allowed to order expensive or rare things without supervision. Erwin caught on.

369. I should not test how sharp my knife and swords are on living things that aren't Titans.

370. I am not allowed to build a statue of myself using Village resources.

371. I will kill the fangirls and fanboys. All of them.

372. -Unless they fangirled and fanboyed me. Then I will milk it for all it's worth.

373. When called upon in class, I shall not insist that the correct answer to everything is '42'.

374. I will only convince a less advanced civilization that I am a god if I already meet their qualifications for one, there are no rivaling deities, their religion is not a strictly pacifistic one, and I am benefited in some way by worship. If I have advanced technology, I will share it with them as long as it is not capable of destroying me in any way.

375. I am no longer allowed to invent medical conditions.

376. I am not authorized to administer "mob justice."

377. -Even for something sickening.

378. I am not authorized to administer military discipline. That's Levi's job.

379. I cannot lock Eren and Jean in a room together and take bets on which one will come out alive.

380. "You'll be alright," is not a term to be used when someone needs medical assistance. Especially if I can provide it.

381. The term "smoke 'em if you got 'em," is not a command for the Garrison to open fire.

382. Apparently the right thing to say when new orders are given IS NOT: "you're not my real mum!"

383. Throwing swords to one another from forty feet away is a terrible idea. Seriously, the survey corps should be dead by now.

384. I am not allowed to hasten the process of anyone's "unstoppable spiral downward".

385. I am not allowed to attempt to kill any of my subordinates, even IF it's only a matter of time before they manage to do it themselves.

386. I am not allowed to tell the mission leader my honest opinion about their brief. Even if they did ask me for my honest opinion.

387. I am not allowed to train academy graduates and people entering military training facilities anymore, because "honest feedback" shouldn't require third party mediation afterward.

388. I am not allowed to "redefine the mentoring relationship" with the team I don't care about or signed up for.

389. I am not allowed to say "it was totally worth it" when I'm being disciplined.

390. I am not allowed to use a proxy to take any of my discipline.

391. I am not allowed to call the Commander before Erwin "dead weight that sucks up precious oxygen from people who actually need it to work the mission". Even if it is true.

392. I am not allowed to pretend I'm anyone else without justification. Even if there were probably not going to be any real consequences…

393. I will not ask the training camp to sponsor a break dancing crew.

394. -Even if I can explain it as increasing one's flexibility and balance.

395. If I see something unfamiliar and mobile, I will not poke it with a stick.

396. -Unless I know what I'm doing.

397. -And have the appropriate weapon handy

398. I am no longer allowed to use big words on academy students who don't understand them in order to insult them.

399. Coming up behind Eren while he and Jean are glowering at each other and saying "Oh, go on and kiss him already!" is not funny.

400. -Even if Krista does say, "Yes, I thought so too."