Once again, thank you for the reviews, it makes my day. And I hope that you are all still enjoying the story.

As one reviewer – lynntjax – said, time to put Assward in his place!

Just a reminder that this story is rated M for language and future lemons.

I do not, and will never, own twilight. That honour goes to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 4 – Happily N'Ever After

EPOV

I know I shouldn't have flirted with the waitress while I was on a blind date. Even I am not normally that insensitive. Just something about this girl sitting opposite screamed danger, and the only thing my mind could think at the time was abort, abort. It was the only way that I could think of to get the message across that while I was up for a little fun, I was by no means interested in settling down. And Bella seemed like the settling down type to me. Don't get me wrong, the girl was a knockout, but a seemingly sweet knockout, and I wanted to nip any romantic thoughts she may have in the bud right from the beginning.

Don't get me wrong, I was going to try my damndest to get her back to my place and undressed before the night was out. Believe me, others have tried to resist but I have never been turned down before, so I don't think it will be too much of a challenge. A few kind words here, a couple of intense stares there and to top it all off some of my lopsided smiles and Bella's panties would be around her ankles before she could say 'I don't normally do this but…'

While I was off in fantasy land that featured a panty less Bella, I was brought back down to earth by a snap in front of my fingers.

"Earth to jerk, hello, have you heard anything that I have said in the last couple of minutes, or are you too busy undressing the waitress in your perverted mind" Bella was saying to me, obviously very pissed off at this moment. Little did she know that yes, there was undressing going on in my mind, but with her as the star instead of the waitress. I wonder if that fact would please her or just piss her off more. Probably the latter. Ok, time for damage control.

"Well, no I was just wondering why a beautiful woman such as yourself, is going on a blind date with a stranger. I would have thought that you had them lined up outside your door, waiting for the chance of a date with you." Nice going Cullen, reel her in.

"No, you ass, this isn't normally my style, but I thought that I would give it a shot and see what happened" she replied, still very irritated.

Letting the ass comment slide, I couldn't resist adding, "Em tells me that this is like your fourth blind date, or something like that. That's quite a lot for something that is not normally your style, is it not? Or am I mistaken?"

Now if looks could kill, I would seriously be pushing up daisies sometime in the near future. With a low growl, Bella all but snarled "You know what. You are the mistake. In fact, I don't know why the hell I am still sitting here talking to you still." And with that she pushed back her chair and prepared to leave the table.

On impulse I grabbed her wrist and gave her my puppy dog eyes, while sincerely adding, "Please stay. I am sorry if I have offended you in any way. I truly was only joking about the blind date thing and I only took the waitress' phone number so that she didn't bother me for the rest of the evening. Say you'll forgive me and stay for our dinner. Please".

I could see from the look on her face half way through my speech that she was going to stay. I probably laid the apology on a bit thick, but hell, it worked and she sat back down ready to continue our date.

I discovered throughout our meal, that she was an only child and that she worked as a high school English teacher. I told her about starting my position as a music teacher this coming Monday, and that I was very excited about this new direction that my life had taken. In fact, the more we talked, the more I was attracted to the woman before me. Not only was she beautiful and sexy, she was also intelligent and spoke about her work and those around her with a passion that I have rarely seen. Much like myself when I talk or think about music.

As the meal came to an end, I was vaguely aware of Jenny clearing our plates. I hadn't given her a second thought after convincing Bella to stay to tell you the truth, and she was quite clearly put out with the lack of attention that she was receiving. I turned to her, and discovered that her nametag said the she was indeed a Jessica, not a Jenny, and I was thanking all the gods that I didn't say her name out loud. And just because I could definitely see myself coming back here to catch up with the lovely Jessica, I gave her my sexiest smile and asked her for dessert suggestions with a raised eyebrow. My intentions were definitely not lost on her, as she leaned to down to whisper, none too quietly in my ear, that if I called her I could have any 'dessert' that I wanted. From this angle I could see straight down her top which of course was her intention and believe me, I had visuals of exactly what I wanted from Jessica.

Unfortunately, too late I realised that my date had probably heard every word that Jessica uttered and had been exposed to my lustful gaze down her top. Shit, more damage control. What was wrong with me? Here I am with a gorgeous woman, and I seriously can't keep it in my pants. With trepidation, I looked up at Bella, only to find a smile forming on her lovely lips and a twinkle in her eye. Well this was interesting.

"I'm sorry Jessica but if Edward is having 'dessert' tonight, it will be with no one other than little old me. Now, we thank you for you services tonight, but as we are in quite a hurry to get home for some 'dessert', we would love you to bring us our bill so we can get out of here" Bella gushed in a sickly sweet voice. Damn if I didn't get hard on the spot. Things were definitely looking up and I for one could not get moving quickly enough.

Jessica dropped the bill on the table with a thud and stormed off to serve another table. Another glance toward Bella rewarded me with a sinful smile followed by a wink. A wink? Did she seriously just wink at me? Jesus, time to sign the bill and get the hell out of here. This girl was good to go…now.

While signing the bill, I felt Bella's stockinged foot make it's way up my leg, to settle on my now rock hard dick. She wiggled her toes a little and I swear, like a seventeen year old on prom night I almost came undone then and there. Holy shit. This girl was good.

I rose from the table as best I could in my uncomfortable and quite obvious state. "Right babe, let's get this party started," I murmured in her ear as I nibbled gently on her neck. Bella just looked at me, biting her bottom lip seductively. She leaned in, held onto my shirt and I could hardly wait for what she had in store for me.

"Listen you fucker. You kept me waiting for 20 mins and you accused me of being desperate. I let it slide. You flirted with our waitress and basically hooked up with her on our date. I gave you another chance. But you crossed that line by doing it again, and eye fucking her breasts while I sat there and watched you. And then you had the nerve to expect me to go home with you. You are egotistical, self centred, obnoxious and I wouldn't go home with you for all the tea in China."

Huh. With her little speech over, Bella turned away from me, gathered her purse and stormed off out into the night. It wasn't until she was out of the building that I felt wetness in my crotch that I hadn't felt before. Fuck me. Bella had emptied the entire contents of her glass down my pants.

BPOV

Okay. So he was a jerk to begin with but I couldn't help but feel that he deserved a second chance. Edward seemed like he was sincerely sorry for flirting with the waitress before, and he really didn't do anything too bad, he was probably just trying to get her off his back, just like he said. Yeah, keep trying to convince yourself that Bella, maybe you are getting a little desperate.

After that terrible start, things seemed to get back on track. We actually found that we had things in common, both being teachers for a start. While he didn't actually start teaching until Monday, he was very excited about it and quizzed me for ages on my students and workmates. I learned more about his and Emmett's life while he was growing up, and was fascinated when I listened to him talk about his love for music. In no time at all, we had made it through dinner and I was thoroughly enjoying myself. This was the first time in ages that I was imagining another date, followed by yet another and all the good stuff which comes with it. For me, that is a miracle in itself. Something here just felt so right.

But yet it turned so wrong. Somewhere in between finishing off our dinner and discussing our passions in life, Jessica our waitress appeared to clear away our dirty dishes and none too quietly at that. When Edward smiled up at her and asked her for dessert, I inwardly groaned and thought 'time for round 2'. You have got to be kidding me. As slut girl, which she will be affectionately known as from now on, leaned in to offer her services for dessert, Edward could not tear his eyes away from her ample breasts. He was ogling, right in front of me, and didn't give a shit. What is it they say about first impressions? Always trust them. Why did I not just leave the first time round? This guy needs to be taught a lesson, and it looks like I will have to teach him one.

As I watched him flirt up a storm with slut girl I had an idea and I just hoped that I would be able to pull it off.

When his apologetic face finally looked my way, I gave him a smile. Looking at slut girl I informed her as nicely as I could that if Edward was wanting dessert from anyone this evening it would be from me and that we were in quite a hurry to leave.

The look on his face was priceless. I sent him a wink for good measure and I have never wished I had a camera more than at this moment. So far so good.

Edward was in a rush to sign the bill and get out of there, so for good measure I decided to play a little footsie, just to encourage him a little more. I was trailing my foot up his leg and stopped for a second when I reached his crotch. Oh yeah, he was really enjoying this, almost as much as I was. When he looked at me with lust filled eyes I wiggled my toes and watched his eyes roll back in his head a little. If I wasn't so pissed at him right now, this could actually be lots of fun.

It was comical how quickly he got up from the table and I took small comfort in the fact that he looked like he was a little pained. But when he mentioned starting the party, and then dared to call me babe and nibbled on my neck, I saw red. Who does this guy think he is? Enough is enough, so I pulled him in nice and close by his shirt to whisper in his ear and let loose on what I really thought about him. As I was ranting in his ear, I was slowly pouring my full glass of water down his pants. I don't even think that he realised I was doing it, he was obviously just so shocked that I was saying no to him. I would love to see his face when he did figure it out, but I just wanted to get away as fast as humanly possible.

The last thing I saw as I pulled away from him was a look of pure shock on his face and a huge stain on his pants. If I hadn't been about to cry, then it would have been hilarious. Stomping out the front door and hailing a cab, I promised myself that I would never let myself be in this situation ever again. I am done with dating. For good. And if I ever saw Edward Cullen again, I couldn't be held responsible for my actions.