Chapter 4
Episode 4
Disclaimer: We do not own Death Note but we do own precious Hidden Valley ranch dressing.
LAST TIME ON DEATH PAPER: "All you have to do is give me your VIRGINITY!" Ryuk yelled "WHAT WHAT" Ryuk added dramatically
"Did Ryuk really drop his piece of paper?" A Shinigami asked.
"All of them!" another exclaimed.
"I will like never figure that guy out!" The king Shinigami said in a homosexual-like voice.
"Boom, shakalaka-laka-laka-boom-shakalaka-laka-laka-boom-shakalaka-laka-laka-BOOM!" Light said, twirling his hands around as well as spinning in his chair.
"Where did that come from?" Ryuk asked.
"NO!" Light yelled in a constipated voice.
"WHAT, what what does that mean?" Ryuk asked.
"My virginity is MINE; until I meet that one special person under the price of $20.00" Light said.
"Well, what are you going to do now, and all that?" Ryuk asked.
"I have a plan to kill my stalker, (Woo Hoo!!!) And I'll need me a women by my side, soooo. Light picked up his cell phone dramatically and stated pushing the buttons in the tune of Mission Impossible. He put it up to his ear.
"Mushi Mushi?" The girl on the other line said.
"WHORE, howz 'bout ya'll come with me to Spaceland?" Light asked.
"Hell yeah, Light!" The other girl exclaimed, finding the title of whore to be honorable, coming from Light.
"Well Ryuk." Light said.
"Yeah?" Ryuk asked.
"LET'S GO!" Light said, with the lights turning red.
Light and the other girl (who we will call… how about Moe) arrived at a bus stop at the same time (WOAH!). Light's stalker was watching him from inside a baby carriage.
"Light is going on a date. Not suspicious for a serious highschooler. The stalker thought writing down information.
His notepad read:
Milk
EGGS (FEAR THE EGGS!)
Butter
He got out of the carriage and followed Light onto a bus. The three sat in the back.
"Ya know, Light, I used to be man." Moe said.
"I don't care. I used to be a man to." Light retorted (Light is not gay or a woman, you DICK!) They stopped at another stop. A gross looking man with buck teeth came on. He pulled a gun and pointed it at the driver. At the same time, a mariachi band fell form the sky and landed on top of the bus. They started playing some nice festival music.
"ALRIGHT! Just do what I say, and nobody gets hurt… too bad!" The jacker said.
"Now, I am going to put away my guns, to make the mariachi band shut up, BUT, if you don't meet my demands, you'll die to the sound of MEXICAN MUSIC!" The jacker added as the bus lights on the roof turned blood red. Light leaned over to Moe.
"When he gets over here, I'll kick him in the balls." Light whispered.
"YEAH!" Moe yelled in a manly voice.
"No, it's too dangerous. I'll kick him in the balls." The stalker said.
"Who the hell are you? How do I know you isn't some crony of his?" Light asked in a hillbilly accent. (WTF he goes from gansta to hillbilly WTH is up with this story!)
"I wanted a toy with my Mighty Kid's Meal, damn it!" Matsuda yelled in the McDonald's restaurant that the bus drove by.
"We can communicate through note passing" Light said
"No, we can just talk. He is partially deaf." The stalker said, after showing his ID card. It read Rey Pencil. (DUM DUM DUMMMMM!)
"Well, I'm gonna throw a sheet of paper at him just for fun!" Light said. He grabbed a sheet of paper from his Death Paper and threw it at the jacker, screaming "FIREBALL!" in a raspy and nasally voice (Go to my profile and click on the link there to see what it sounds like it all like lol, you may have to turn it up alot.). The jacker looked at Light. Light pointed at the paper.
"Pick-it-up!-Pick-it-up!" Light says over and over like a hyper kid.
5 minutes later……………bitch
"Hurry up and friggin pick-it-up!" Light commanded angrily. As the jacker leaned down to take it, he sees Ryuk… really needing to zip up his pants.
"Moe sure is hot and the like!" Ryuk exclaimed.
"FAGGOT!" The jacker yelled. He started to shoot at Ryuk. The mariachi band started to play again.
"Yo bullets won't hurt me, what what!" Ryuk said.
"Oh, I gotta quickly do this! I'm running, outta time!" The jacker stated. He dropped the gun and started to throw crayons at Ryuk.
"LIGHTNING BOLT!" He yelled as he threw the crayons, they went straight through Ryuk.
"I'm a Shinigami, so your human objects cannot harm me, and all that….foo!" Ryuk said. "That piece of paper must have been part of the Death Paper." Ryuk added.
"OMG! YOU DEMON!" The jacker yelled, jumping out a window. He rolled down the concrete, getting some bad scrapes and bruises. He looked up and saw… 2 SEMI TRUCKS… AND A TOYOTA! They drove over him, but the cars did not actually hit him. He stood up and thanked the Lord, just as an Ice Cream Truck fell from the sky and killed him.
"Crazy man try to kill Dracula! Dracula gonna get the heck outta here!" The bus driver said, pulling into a ditch. He jumped out the window and dissolved to dust. Everyone decided to get off the bus. Rey went up and talked to Light.
"You ain't gonna tell nobody I'm with the Federal Butts Incorporated, is ya?"
"Nope, I isn't." Light said. Rey nodded, put a towel over his head, and ran off, only hitting two walls. A boy popped out of the mouth of the corpse of the jacker.
"That's why you're #1, Light! I still worship that egg!" The fanboy said.
"BASINGAAAA!" Light yelled as the camera zoomed in on his face. He queerly winked as the camera faded out.
Wolflink93: We are holding a chapter hostage (You see me holding a piece of paper pointing a gun to it) We demand that we have to have 20 reviews or we will not post the next chapter (The gun is for added effect.)
Renodin: Well, umm… Wolflink93 is kinda blaming me for this… and he is cutting off my bathroom and soda privileges until his previous demand is met… HELP ME, DAMN IT! I GOTTA PEE!
Note: WE ARE SERIOUS!!!