AN: Oh goodness, I've reached the 50 review mark with three chapters! :) This made me swell with happiness that words couldn't describe; this story received more reviews than I anticipated for. So I was surprised but giddying with joy at the same time. Thanks a lot for reading everybody, and thanks to the awesome people who took their time to review this story to encourage me to update frequently. And extra thanks to the people who point out my careless mistakes here and there - it really gives me the opportunity to overlook and help me grow as a writer!
I hope to keep writing to unleash my creativity and keep this story to be entertaining to those who read it :) Thanks a lot, everybody!
And one more thing: no offense to people who stick to the names of characters in the Japanese like hardcore, but for one character - you'll see - I can't stand their Japanese name :S I guess it's personally because I haven't watched the subbed version of this anime during that season as I watched it in American dub, but oh Gods. When I discovered it, I was like, ... really? :I anyways, sorry!
Pamela: Sorry about that. But for this story, Serenity and Usagi will be two different people; it kind of makes sense, since Usagi is the reincarnation in the anime, leading a different life from Serenity. But for this story, Mamoru's just... not there since he didn't die. That's all :S
Ice-princess: Thanks for spotting out the mistake! I really appreciate it :D I fixed it, I think. So hopefully it'll flow smoother now.
lee: Thanks for another long, amazing review! I really do look forward to reading them hehe. I'm glad you enjoy reading my story so far, it means a lot :) And for the love romance part, it'll be sort of hard for Mamoru to express his feelings for her first since this is more of a Usagi-centric story. But I guess his actions could speak up for him :) Hope you enjoy this chapter as well.
Tropicalremix: Mmm, that'll be explained soon :) and for the latter part, there's so many ways people can view that topic depending on their religious beliefs. So I can't really answer that question - sorry!
Jenbunny: Don't worry about it! I wasn't really directing that comment to anyone in particular :P it's just something I've noticed in this category of anime in this site, that's all :P but thanks for choosing out the vote - you're the only one who actually voted, so Heartstrings will be released first LOL.
Summary: Many beautiful women were offered to the Water God in order to please him so he would allow rain to fall from the sky. But when it was Tsukino Usagi's turn to be sacrificed, she discovered things get quite complicated when she falls in love with another.
The Sacrifice
Chapter IV
Usagi tried to comprehend the feelings which were exploding inside her body, thundering hard against her chest while aimlessly wandering down the path she was walking before she had ran into Rei, the Goddess of Fire. The feelings felt heavy yet ugly at the same time; somehow, she felt cheap. She could not exactly describe this feeling. She never felt like this before: she wanted to hurl an object to relieve her of the stress and she wanted to leave Terra right this instant.
After her brief conversation with the Goddess of Fire, she definitely could not proceed with the marriage any further now. When she was first approached with the idea that he might have married plenty of other girls before her, she felt insulted for the belief she was taught back in her village. Secondly, when Endymion treated her harshly as their communication was insufficient, she felt like dirt. But now, after discovering that she shared the same face with his first wife, she felt as if her purpose in his kingdom was to give the Water God the false impressions that his wife indeed had not passed away as she took her place.
She closed her eyes as her walking stilled. Usagi then realized why Endymion reacted the way he did when he had first laid his eyes on her; she must have appeared as if she had returned from the dead. He acted desperately then as he expressed his love briefly for Serenity while he was really with her: he wanted to assure himself that she was real instead of some three dimensional hologram illuminated from the moonlight.
Her hand came up to the curve of her face, pressing softly against her pale cheek. Then her finger slowly traced down along her face until her index was at the centre of her chin. Usagi couldn't help but to bitterly question, Was he seeing Serenity's face through mine this entire time? Did he... ever see me as me?
Instantly, her hand dropped and both of them clenched into shaking fists at her sides. Of course he did, she answered herself. If he didn't, then why else would he treat her so harshly the day after their memorable first encounter? He realized that she wasn't Serenity, because otherwise, he would have treated her with endless amount of love and concern.
But she wasn't Serenity - instead, she's Tsukino Usagi, a powerless human compared to Endymion himself. Or the woman who walked among on Terra bearing the same face as the Moon Goddess Serenity.
Usagi inhaled sharply as realization struck her. She was jealous over a deceased Goddess! She wanted to laugh of how fanatical that sounded, but she could not bring herself to. Just as the Fire Goddess mentioned, she did not know of Serenity so she immediately regretted of thinking of her so much just now. She slapped her cheeks lightly in order to distract herself from those thoughts, replacing it with the burning sensation on both sides of her cheeks.
Why do I care so much of how Endymion views me? She pondered silently.
Was it because she was to wed him unless she managed to return to her village? She knew for a fact that running away was not an option, especially not in a foreign realm. She did not know of her way around Terra, nor did she wish to face any sort of punishment from a God either.
He was her husband-to-be, she told herself over and over again. It's only natural to have these sorts of feelings. And it was only natural that he had wedded many times with other human females before her - she only lived for a bit over eighteen years now. Her days among the living must be insignificant compared to how many hundreds of years Endymion had been living for. Still, these thoughts did not deter her away from wanting to escape from their marriage.
I want to leave now. I want to go home, I don't belong here… She wanted her wish to be granted if she had spoken them out loud. She began to picture the familiar faces that are in the other realm; her parents, Shingo, Naru...
"My, my, it truly is pleasant to see another other than myself among the Old Palace." A voice snapped Usagi from her longing thoughts as she turned her head sharply to where the voice came from. She came face-to-face with a man all dressed in white sans the dark navy cape. His short silver hair shone brightly against the sun's rays, a contrast to his dark violet eyes. He seemed pleased to make his acquaintance as he stared intently at her. But somehow, he seemed familiar as if she had seen him before...
Usagi politely made an effort to smile, which resulted into a crooked one. "Oh, so that's what this place is called." She murmured, contributing to the conversation.
The man in white nodded. "Yes," he confirmed. "This part of the palace among the Mizu kingdom is called the Old Palace. As you can see, it is very unpopular as it receives a scarce amount of visitors. As well as it is not open to just anyone..."
The blond observed her surroundings to find that he was indeed correct; there was no one else in sight other than the two of them. But there were plenty of scrolls and technologies she had never laid her eyes on. There were posters filled with ancient writings on the sides of the building along with some ofudas.
"Oops... I'm sorry! I don't know my way around very well, you see..." Usagi apologized guiltily. Her eyes wandered a bit further to a left side behind the man and her attention was caught when she saw something glittering against the sunlight - it was a trail of thin ice. The man seemed to notice what she had just discovered since his lips curled up into a small smirk.
"Ah, so you have noticed the ice," his voice sounded proud before he gestured a hand to himself, bringing in the attention. "I am Diamond, the one who manipulates the ice."
Usagi innocently asked, "You're a God just like Endymion-sama?"
Her question seemed to displease the ice deity since his face tensed for a mere second before he recomposed himself. He gave her a small smile when he answered, "Yes, I am a God. May I ask for your name, dear fair maiden?"
"It's Tsukino Usagi, Diamond-sama," she replied as she added the suffix behind his name as a way of respect for a God as she did so with the water deity. She shuffled her feet beneath her kimono, feeling uncomfortable under the intense gaze the man was staring at her with, staring at her as if she somewhat was an old artifact that was found to be extinct. He had been staring at her like that since he had announced his presence.
"Ah, you are one, who is to wed Endymion, are you not?" Diamond asked her. Usagi noticed the way he was observing her carefully and as a member of the palace whose rank was high as a God himself, she decided to select her words carefully.
"Yes, I am."
"How do you feel about that?" he pressed on more into the current issue. "Does the thought of obtaining a God as a husband excite you?"
"I... well, I certainly never thought I would ever get to experience this in my life," Usagi answered honestly as she nervously fumbled with her fingers. She wondered if it was obvious for him to notice that she was uncomfortable with this topic, and if he did, then he would not continue any further with it.
But unfortunately, the God of Ice does not seem to notice her level of discomfort since he continued to ask her questions.
"I see. Then how do you feel about your situation? Are you elated, miserable, or neutral?" Suddenly, he closed in the distance between them in a flash. A pair of dark violet orbs stared down at her, studying every inch of her face as he slowly placed one of his hands on shoulder. Slowly, that hand started to trail down to where her arm was at.
"I-I'm not sure. One thing for s-sure is that it is s-something that'll take t-time getting used to," Usagi stammered, tearing her eyes from his stare. She felt uncomfortable from the small proximity of distance between them, but she did not want to rudely push the God in front of her away and offend him. Because who knows, he might turn her into an ice sculpture. Instead, she decided to subtly give him hints that she valued her personal space.
"Diamond-sama, I think my presence is distracting you from the task you were consumed in before I arrived," she apologized lightly, lightly implying that she wished to take her leave. She turned her head to meet the eyes of the ice deity once more, treading her words carefully. "Perhaps I should leave now. I believe Luna might be searching for me."
Diamond nodded his head in agreement, but he remained in their current position. Rather, his hand traveled lower until he held her hand in his palm, playing with it with his fingers. Usagi fidgeted uncomfortably at the intimate contact.
"So soft..." he breathed out of no where.
The blond chose to ignore what she had just heard, although she was sure that her blush was prominent from the sudden compliment. "I think I should go now, Diamond-sama..."
"You are more than welcomed to prolong your stay here," hinted the ice deity with a small grin.
Usagi managed a small smile with great difficulty. "No, but perhaps I will next time when I come for a visit," she suggested conversely, and her response seemed to please the God as his grin widened as he took a step backwards in order for her to give her space.
"I shall hold to those words."
She honestly wanted to tell him not to hold onto her half-hearted words; the thought of visiting this man frightened her a bit. Usagi believed the distance between them was too intimate when they talked and she wondered if he treated his other guests the same way. Involuntarily, she shivered as she pictured Diamond nearly pressing up against someone like... someone like Endymion; she hardly doubted he would allow the God of Ice to close in the distance between them, while remaining to be stoic at the same time as he usually was.
Would he be infuriated if he would happen to come across her and Diamond in their intimate stance? She was to be the one who was sentenced to spend the rest of her life with him as his wife-to-be. But then again, Usagi reminded herself, we hardly know each other and I hardly doubt that there can be any sort of love between us.
Usagi hardly managed to swallow her saliva as a troubling thought entered her mind.
Will I ever be happy?
The existence of the other God seemed to fade from her mind now, while his voice echoed repeatedly in her head; the voice was asking her how she felt in her situation.
Happiness was clearly out of the question. Ever since she had arrived in Terra, the only company she truly seeked belonged to the lady who was attentive to her needs: Luna. But other than that, Seiya and Minako made wonderful first impressions on her which caused her to long to see them again.
Sadness was a bit too extreme to use to describe her puzzling situation. She had been rummaging around for freedom for a very long time in her village back with her family and friends, but Usagi did not expect for this to ever happen in her life. She truly missed her family which contributed to her low level of emotions, but it was Endymion who dominated over it. His first encounter pained her, but his words stabbed into her wounds even more.
Just how could she marry someone when she resembled his previous wife? The only woman he had ever loved, as Rei mentioned.
Truly, he could never love her. At least, that is what she believed.
An unexpected rub of Diamond's thumb against her palm jerked her away from her thoughts. Her head snapped up as her eyes widened. Usagi hastily retracted her hand back to her side, pretending not to see the displeasure run across the man's features.
"I-"
"Oi, Odango!" Seiya's sudden voice drew the two people's attention. He was jogging towards them from a small group of people who appeared to be taking a nice casual stroll among the palace.
Usagi beamed. She was grateful for his appearance as the Kinmokusei guardian had broken the tension between her and the ice deity. "Seiya-kun," she said, pushing down the urge to scold him for calling her by his nickname for her.
Seiya turned his attention from the blond to give a small nod of his head to acknowledge the presence of the Ice God, as Diamond mimicked his actions.
"I hope I did not disturb your pleasant conversation, Diamond-sama," Seiya said curtly, despite the suffix in which he added.
Diamond's lips thinned as he did not offer a response for the younger man.
Seiya turned to Usagi and gave her a playful wink. "Let's get out of here, Odango. I'll be the dashing guardian like I usually am and take you somewhere exciting." He offered, and he did not wait for Usagi to reply as he took one of her hands in his larger one before he gently began to tow her after him, her faint blush going unnoticed. He merely gave the man left behind a wave without turning his head, signaling that he was leaving with his guest.
"Seiya-kun - wait! I should at least say bye to Diamond-sama," Usagi mentioned, craning her head towards the direction they were departing from. She earned herself a soft sigh from the Kinmokusei guardian.
He continued to walk while assuring her to remain calm at the same time. "Do not worry over small matters, Odango. Really, it is nothing."
Usagi bit her lips as she mumbled back, "I sure hope you're right, Seiya-kun..."
Seiya's lips curled upwards. "Just trust me on this, Odango - you really do have nothing to worry about," he assured her once more, and soon, he observed how she discontinued to chew on her lips out of her nervous habit and a small smile found its way on her face.
"Thank you, Seiya-kun."
"You're welcome, Odango." Usagi frowned a little bit then from the nickname, her good mood spoilt. But Seiya merely chuckled as he continued to lead her towards a small group of people.
Usagi's smile grew wider as she took a quick peek at the man beside her, who was taking the lead. It seems as if my prayers were answered; I got to see Seiya again…
There were two males who dressed similarly to the Kinmokusei guardian who was standing beside a woman all dressed in red, so Usagi assumed they held a similar ranking as Seiya. One of them looked younger than the other, as his height was much shorter. He had long silver hair tied in a low tail with his bangs covering his forehead and the man appeared to be irritated while the guardian beside him was the complete opposite.
The man with sepia-colored hair appeared to be calm with his eyes closed. He was a very tall man whose face was not obstructed by any strands of hair and he sat beside a woman dressed all in red on a bench, who flickered her gaze up towards her direction, to her Kinmokusei guardian.
"Kakyuu-hime," Seiya released his hold on the blonds' hand as he knelt down in one knee, bowing deeply. "I apologize for my short absence from your side."
The princess in red waved her hand nonchalantly. She shifted her gaze from Seiya to Usagi, before they returned back to Seiya. "It is alright, Fighter. I understand your reasons for your abrupt absence. But perhaps you should announce that you are to leave before you do, so others as well as I will not be troubled by the rash decisions you choose to make."
"I understand, Kakyuu-hime. Please forgive me." Seiya apologized, offering another bow to his princess.
"I accept your apology, Fighter," Kakyuu said softly. "Now, please stand. I would be honored to meet the young lady you have brought from your short absence."
"Yeah, Fighter," the silver haired man agreed, although his tone gave off an impression that he was disinterested. He inched his head towards Usagi's direction. "Do introduce us to her if you will."
Seiya smiled as he arose from the floor and walked over to Usagi until he was right behind her, but he didn't give her the opportunity to turn around to face him when he placed his hands on her shoulders to halt her movements. He gave her a comforting squeeze when he introduced her. "This is Tsukino Usagi, but I enjoy calling her Odango as it suits her much better."
Usagi blushed in embarrassment. She turned around to smack her small fist against the Kinmokusei guardian's abdominal muscles which hardly brought him pain. "Seiya-kun!"
The guardian offered her a shrug. "What? I only spoke the truth, Odango." he playfully teased.
A wolf whistle could be heard behind the two of them. Usagi turned her body around to find the silver haired guardian smirking at the sight of them. "Odango? Seiya-kun?" he repeated teasingly. "I take it that the two of you are pretty familiar with one another, ne?"
The other guardian nodded in agreement. "Fighter, have you been hiding her presence whenever we make our visit of the Mizu kingdom?" he asked slyly as he implied a meaning behind his words.
Seiya laughed while the two females remained silent. When his laughter ceased, he gave his friends a reassuring smirk. "Do not worry, Healer and Maker; I did not keep her presence hidden from any of you, including you, Kakyuu-hime," he answered. "This truly is my second time having my path coming across Odango."
"Tsukino-san," the Kinmokusei princess addressed the human girl. "Are you a member of the palace?"
"N-no, I'm not." Usagi answered shyly.
"Oh?" One of the tallest Kinmokusei guardian's eyebrows rose as her reply caught his attention. "Then are you from another planet as we are, Tsukino-san?"
Usagi shook her head. "No, I'm just a guest in the palace for the time being."
"She is Endymion-sama's guest, according to Luna." corrected Seiya.
"Ah, so that is how it is," Kakyuu said, clasping her hands together as if she had gained an epiphany. She smiled at Usagi before giving her a small curtsy, to which her Kinmokusei guardians quickly mimicked her actions. "Then, Tsukino-san, as Endymion-sama's guest, I hope you shall welcome our visit as well as he does so every year for the celebration of the Lunar Ball."
The Kinmokusei princess' sudden formality surprised the blond. She blinked several times before she quickly waved her hands in front of her body, motioning for the four people to stand back up. "I'm really not worth bowing to, Kakyuu-hime! Really."
"Nonsense," the Kinmokusei princess chided softly. Three heads rose as they followed the female, who was taking the lead. Kakyuu slightly turned her head to the sepia hair colored guardian. "Maker, are we due for any appointments this afternoon?"
"Yes, Kakyuu-hime," Taiki answered promptly. "You are to meet and greet other guests of the Mizu kingdom at a luncheon which is to take place near the garden with the presence of Endymion-sama."
"Ah, thank you for the reminder," thanked Kakyuu, smiling.
Taiki returned her smile. "It is my pleasure to assist you in any way possible, Kakyuu-hime."
Yaten looked over to Seiya and Usagi with an unreadable expression on his face. He nonchalantly asked his fellow guardian and friend, "Will you be making your presence during the luncheon for Kakyuu-hime, Fighter?"
Seiya looked at Usagi, who looked confused to the reason why he was staring at her when it was Yaten who had addressed him. He gave her a small grin before he responded, "Yes Healer, I will be present,"
"Oh good, I-"
"I shall make my presence after I walk Odango back to her room," Seiya finished. He chose to ignore how the shorter man rolled his eyes upwards as he let out an exasperated sigh.
Usagi felt her cheeks growing hot from the attention. She glanced at Yaten's slight sour mood, feeling slightly guilty before she made eye contact with Seiya. "It's alright, Seiya-kun. You don't have to walk me back to my room - I don't want to be a burden."
The Kinmokusei guardian let out a small chuckle. "You really are too kind, Odango. But declining my offer would be disgracing me to a large extent, especially in front of the presence of my princess," he teased.
"I..." Usagi shifted her gaze to Kakyuu, silently asking her if this really was alright. She did not wish to impose any trouble by taking up one of her guardian's time, after all. Kakyuu merely smiled and gave her a small nod, encouraging her to allow Seiya to accompany her back to her room. Usagi then smiled up at Seiya's boyish face and said, "Alright, I'll accept your kind offer. Thank you, Seiya-kun."
Seiya nodded before he started to subtly steer her away from the group. He quickly gave his head a small bow towards Kakyuu's direction and waved to the other Kinmokusei guardians. "I will be taking Odango to her room now and I will meet you at the luncheon afterwards. Tardiness will not be accompanied with my arrival, Kakyuu-hime - I promise you that."
Kakyuu giggled. "I shall see you at the luncheon then, Fighter," she looked down at the blond and added, "It truly was a pleasure meeting you, Tsukino-san. May our paths cross once more before we depart for Kinmoku."
"Yes! Hopefully we'll be able to meet at the Lunar Ball, Kakyuu-hime," Usagi replied earnestly. She really did hope to encounter the kind Kinmokusei princess once more. Her presence made her feel calm and pleasant; she had already took a liking to the other woman.
Kakyuu gave a small curtsy with Taiki and Yaten following suit before they turned and departed, disappearing from their sight. Usagi's eyes continued to trail after them even when they were no longer in sight, and it was Seiya's light squeeze on her arm that brought her back to reality. She blinked several of times before she met Seiya's grinning face.
"Oi, Odango. You appeared as if you were spacing out on me," commented Seiya as he playfully poked her cheek. He earned himself a small slap on his hand which resulted into laughter and the retraction of his index finger.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to..."
"Ha! You really are going to run into a wall or something like that, Odango," he laughed well heartedly. "Fortunately, I am here to assist you for today."
Usagi pouted. "Oh, that's mean, Seiya-kun!"
A small smile was Seiya's response before they walked through multiple hallways in a comfortable silence. She opted of taking a small glance at the man walking beside her, and when she did, she discovered that Seiya's face suddenly no longer contained any traces of playfulness as it did before when he returned her stare. Gradually, his walking pace slowed until he stopped completely. Usagi paused her walking as well, giving him a curious stare.
"What's the matter, Seiya-kun?" she asked him.
Seiya hummed as he loudly expressed the words running in his mind. "I was having thoughts of Diamond-sama. The atmosphere that was around the two of you seemed to be quite... strange, before I made my presence earlier on this afternoon."
Usagi looked away, and when she spoke, her voice sounded far distant. "Oh... why?"
"I am not certain, Odango," the Kinmokusei guardian rubbed his chin as he pondered loudly on his thoughts. "I was going to bring it up with you earlier, but I did not wish for him to overhear us. But the feeling settled uneasily in me - it felt as if there was something ominous going on at the moment."
Usagi blinked. "Me, ominous? That doesn't make sense, Seiya-kun!" she laughed out loud as her words sounded silly to her own ears.
Seiya shook his head. "Not you, Odango - him."
"Ah..." Usagi's voice trailed off as shivered involuntarily when the face which belonged to the God of Ice flashed in her head. She understood what Seiya meant then. The man frightened her out and she hoped that she would not run into him again. She made a mental note to avoid the Old Palace whenever she was to randomly trot among the palace when she was lost in her endless trail of thoughts.
"What happened before I arrived?" Seiya asked, looking concerned. He gently placed his hand on her arm and gave her an encouraging yet comforting squeeze to respond back when Usagi diverted her eyes from his to avoid his gaze.
"Nothing," she answered quickly as she pretended not to see the man's doubtful expression. There was a small awkward moment between them, and Usagi hoped Seiya would not repeat his question. She was a bad liar. She knew she was, and everyone could just tell whenever she fibbed. Fortunately, Seiya did not press on the question as he respected her decision of lying to him. Instead, he said comforting words which made her feel happily appreciated.
"... I will be there to listen when you are willing to tell me, Odango."
Usagi let out a small sigh of relief. "Thank you, Seiya-kun. Your words really do mean a lot to me," She gave him the biggest smile she could muster, which he returned.
The walls of the hallway were starting to look familiar now, as she could recognize certain flowers painted on the magnificent doors. Usagi looked up at Seiya's face and said, "Thank you for walking me this far, Seiya-kun, but I think I can manage my own from this point on; I don't want you to be late for the luncheon with Kakyuu-hime."
"Are you certain? I do not mind walking you back to your room, Odango." offered Seiya.
Usagi nodded. "Yes, I'm certain," she added, "Thanks for being a gentleman, Seiya-kun."
Seiya winked and replied back with, "Aren't I always?"
Laughter escaped from the blond as the man before her never failed to amuse her. Usagi was grateful that she had encountered Seiya from her first day on Terra, thankful that she now had one person to turn to whenever she was feeling down.
"Odango, you should laugh more often," Seiya said randomly, giving her a smile - not a flirtatious one, but a genuine one. "You appear to be glowing when you do."
Blushing, Usagi did not reply nor thank him for the compliment. She soon felt one of her twin hair buns being patted by Seiya before he broke off into a slow jog, heading towards the direction from which they came from.
"See you later, Odango!" Seiya called out before he disappeared in a flash of blue light, nowhere to be seen when the light died away.
"Bye, Seiya-kun..." Usagi whispered after him although he would not be able to hear her. She merely wanted to bid him good bye, just like he had.
oOo
She located her room shortly after Seiya had left to attend the luncheon as his role of a Kinmokusei guardian, sworn to protect his princess, Kakyuu. The first thing Usagi did when she entered her room was to rush for the bed, jumping on it as she was welcomed with a soft hug from her pillows and her covers. Although she should be in a good mood from Seiya's company, she wasn't. This room, in general, reminded her of Endymion, which resulted into her of having a quick recap of the unpleasant moments of her day. The stiff atmosphere between her and Endymion, and unexpectedly encountering Rei and Diamond...
Usagi released a loud groan. "Today felt so surreal... It feels as if it shouldn't have happened," she whispered before wondering if all her other days that were to come on this realm was going to be identical to the one she had just had.
I will adjust to this, she told herself. She had to, as she had no other choice.
Unconsciously, she began to rub her ring finger and wondered if she were to receive a ring from Endymion. Would he get Luna or one of the servant girls to fetch a meaningless ring for him before he presented it to her? Or would he give her a ring which means a significant amount of deal to him? Usagi hoped for the latter, as she would want her first and only marriage to be meaningful. But she quickly scolded herself for thinking of such things; instead of the ring, she should be thinking more of their current relationship as that should come first.
She wanted to get to know him better, to discover his true self that is hiding beneath the layers of defense he had placed upon himself. Luna described him to be kind hearted, and Usagi had no reasons to doubt the woman. And she knew that he was capable to love and could freely express it, as he loved another even if it was several of hundreds years ago. One can never truly be rid of their emotions, even if it called love.
"What should I do..?" Usagi asked aloud to herself as she was the only occupant in the room.
Why do I care so much? was the better question. She wasn't sure why her emotions would stir whenever her thoughts returned to Endymion. She wondered if she was having some feelings for him, but then dismissed the thought as she believed that it was hardly the case since she hardly knew the God. Then she wondered if she felt some attachment towards him after their short, intimate moment from the night before.
"It might be..." Usagi answered to herself. "Or maybe..."
Or maybe it is because of the fact that I am to marry him, Usagi considered the possibility. Perhaps she was being overly emotional because in a way, she felt threatened of possessing a husband. Her husband-to-be, after all, had married plenty of other women before her.
And his first wife shared a similar face to hers, as well. Usagi believed that some God was out there to conspire against her, presenting her with the features she bore on her face that are alike to the Goddess of the Moon, Serenity.
Usagi shook off the thought. She was not going to have thoughts about Endymion's first wife anymore, as she did not want to be constantly depressed afterwards. Instead, she was going to try hard to be happy in Terra. She will not live her life wallowing in misery over a deceased Goddess and contemplating her feelings over the Water God.
"I'm not going to let him get to me," Usagi said, sounding determined as she walked up to her closet. She opened it for the first time to discover many arrangements of colorful kimonos, pairs of zori's, and many hair accessories and jewelries. A gasp escaped as she marveled at the valuable contents, wondering if she was granted permission to use any of them.
"Everything in this room belongs to you, Usagi-san. You are to freely use them of your purpose. "
Luna's sudden voice startled her as she jumped before she turned around to face the other woman. Usagi released a nervous laugh before she started a simple conversation. "Luna! You scared me. How long have you been here?"
Luna answered, smiling. "I just arrived, Usagi-san. I apologize if I did not announce my presence. You seemed to be admiring your garments so intently that I did not wish to disturb the moment."
"I see..."
There was a brief moment of silence before the older woman spoke. "Usagi-san, are you alright? I hope you were not deeply offended from Endymion-sama's behavior this morning." Luna looked concerned for the blond as she spoke kindly of the water deity.
Usagi replied, "I'm fine now, Luna. Thank you for taking out some of your time to come check up on me," A smile formed on her face, assuring the other woman that she truly was fine as she said she was.
Luna seemed content with her answer as a small smile made its way onto her face. "I am glad, then. Thank you, Usagi-san, for your kindness to be able to forgive him."
The blond merely shrugged before inching her head towards her closet. "Forgiving Endymion-sama for his behavior can't compare to the kindness you've shown me, Luna. It's really nice of you to let me use these kimonos," she said.
The older woman shook her head. "No, it was not I, Usagi-san. Endymion-sama requested for me to stock up these kimonos for your stay while you were sleeping the night before," she explained. "He insisted that you are to be comfortable while you remained in Terra."
Usagi's lips parted a little in surprise. She was surprised to discover that Endymion has been thoughtful of her needs while he hardly expressed it. Looking back at the closet now, she admired each and one of her new kimonos as she lived believing she would never wear such extravagant clothing. She would thank him properly, she decided. She wanted to do something to make him happy; it would be her way of showing her appreciation of his kindness.
"Oh, I see."
Luna slowly curved her body towards the door, indicating that she was to leave. She placed her hand on the handle before slightly looking back at the blond. "I sincerely wish you shall enjoy these garments, Usagi-san - Endymion-sama would wish for you to do so, as do I," she added. "Now, if you will excuse me, I shall take my departure as I am expected to escort some of the guests from the luncheon to various rooms they wish to visit among the palace."
The blond nodded her head and watched Luna leave her alone in the room once more, but this time, she was content. She was no longer depressed or lonely, as Luna's company made a difference to her mood. Usagi gave her new closet a glance and released a sigh, speaking out her wistful thoughts.
"I wish you were here to enjoy these pretty kimonos with me, Naru-chan..."
Usagi wondered how her best friend was faring off. Did her marriage ceremony take place in the village already? She was sure it should have by now, as there was no apparent reason to delay it. Naru was happily in love with her lover and the majority of the adults in the village approved of Umino as he was highly intelligent and full of polite etiquette, wanting him to marry their daughters. But he fell for her best friend, as it was practically love at first sight; Naru explained how he once told her that she was the prettiest woman who has ever walked on Earth, and how her personality drew him in.
Naru found his words to be romantic, while Usagi stated they were too 'lovey dovey.' But as she was happy for her friend, envy tagged along right behind her. She wanted a man who would show his loyalty and love to her, as he would accept her klutzy ways which Naru mentioned would be a huge point.
But she had yet to find such a person.
Soon, her thoughts strayed over to a certain dark-hared Kinmokusei guardian – Seiya. He was certainly charming yet he was filled with jokes, as he would try to make her smile often during their two encounters. Usagi felt as if he had become a close friend to her already since he had already given her a nickname, which she was slowly growing accustomed to. And he would leave his post of being at his princess' side just to come and see how she was doing, or saving her from an uncomfortable conversation with Diamond.
She was slowly yet gradually desiring to see him, as he somehow makes her feel free. Uncaged, even, from her purpose in Terra. Seiya somehow makes her forget about Endymion, as his good mood rubs off on her and all other thoughts are pushed away into some corner of her mind where she cannot access them until he was out of her sight.
Am I starting to like him? Usagi asked herself. A small tint of blush warmed her cheeks to answer her question.
But soon, panic gripped her. She cannot like him, she reminded herself. She was supposed to marry Endymion as she was to be loyal to him, instead of falling for another.
But… I want to like Seiya for the time being, Usagi thought selfishly. She wanted to be happy, and right now, if it meant liking another male other than her husband-to-be was the only way to achieve it – then so be it. She will not proclaim her feelings for Seiya as "love" as it was nowhere close, but it was a mere crush; a good distraction for her own good.
I will be responsible for my actions…
oOo
He came to visit her later that night to apologize for his behavior, as any gentleman would. There was a knock on her door and when Usagi went to answer it, she was greeted with Endymion's presence. He looked expressionless as always, but there was a hint of remorse this time. At first, they did not speak to one another which resulted into an awkward silence.
Endymion cleared his throat to break the tension. He asked, "May I come in?"
She cleared out of his way to allow him entry to her current room. Endymion stepped inside and softly closed the door behind him as he did not wish for their conversation to be heard by unwanted ears. He looked over to Usagi and soon, he exhaled audibly.
"I apologize for my rude behavior from this morning," he started, peering down at the blonds' face as he spoke his words carefully. "It truly was not my intention to offend you."
Usagi calmly replied back, "You are already forgiven, Endymion-sama. Luna had taken the trouble of apologizing for your case earlier this afternoon."
Endymion sighed. "But hearing my apology from Luna's mouth is worthless; it does not mean anything unless I apologize for my own actions, as I should take responsibility over them," he explained, looking slightly disappointed. But he quickly recomposed himself when he added, "I thank you for accepting my apology."
Usagi looked away from him she gave him a reply. "No, it was my fault. I had interrupted you when you were speaking, Endymion-sama." She decided from their previous conversation that she would never speak at the same time he would, since Endymion was terribly frightening when he was displeased.
"We are on neutral terms then," Endymion stated, which sounded more like a question to Usagi's ears.
She dumbly nodded. "I guess we are…"
Another moment of silence greeted the two individuals, and Usagi was unsure of what she should do. She opted of making a small chat since they were at peace with one another now, but she decided not to. What if she offends him again? So the possibility of making up a feeble excuse such as she was tired so she should go to bed seemed alright to her. She would fall for it if she were in Endymion's place, so surely he would too?
It was not as if she despised his company; she was just uncomfortable in his presence since they have hardly interacted and here she was, engaged to the man who would deprive her village of rain for long periods of time which eventually lead for famine to occur frequently. Usagi was just not sure of how to make the best of her situation. She did not wish to fake her happiness since it would be equivalent of lying to her own self.
"Are you elated, miserable, or neutral?"
Diamond's words suddenly rang in her head repeatedly, causing her to cringe visibly from the person who spoke them and how the question affected her so much. Usagi truly could not determine how she truly felt about her situation, but with Endymion standing right in front of her, she would have to pick none of the above. She felt nervous, yet she was calm at the same time.
He has one scary demeanor, Usagi blamed silently.
"You are to eat with me during the hour of eating," Endymion suddenly blurted as he received the blonds' full attention then.
Usagi blinked in confusion as she assessed his words, wondering what he meant by wanting her to eat with him. Did he want to repeat the day's events or did he want to make amends with her and treat her to delicious food frequently? She hoped for the latter, as her stomach purred in pleasure against its walls.
"Sure…" she said slowly. Usagi decided the less she speaks, there would be a smaller possibility of the chance to offend the Water God.
"I wish for us to converse with one another without any silent moments that would come often between us," Endymion explained softly.
Usagi couldn't help but to smile then. "Alright, Endymion-sama. I shall dine with you from now on,"
The water deity seemed pleased of how easily she accepted to his gentle command as his eyes softened and the edge of his lip tilted upwards. It was not completely noticeable, but Usagi was happy when she spotted the tiny grin.
Endymion re-opened the door and stepped backwards back into the silent hallway. His eyes remained on Usagi's face the entire time and shortly after, he spoke again. "I bid you a peaceful slumber,"
"Goodnight, Endymion-sama," Usagi replied back. But when the image of beautiful kimonos resting in her closet flashed in her head, she quickly called out after him. "And thank you for the kimonos! They are very beautiful."
Endymion promptly responded, "It was my pleasure. I shall see you when the sun rises."
Usagi silently closed her door and leaned her back against the cold marble of its texture. She was glad that Endymion initiated for them to meet more often now, as well as she was nervous at the same time. For their future's sake, she desperately hoped that the two of them will get along well as they are to marry anytime as he would decide on the date.
Crossing a pair of fingers behind her back, Usagi hoped that it would not be anytime soon. She was certainly not mentally prepared to face her own marriage just yet.
AN: FINALLY UPDATED. Oh Gods. This chapter took me such a long time as I procrastinated... :( I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I was so-so while writing it cause I don't know. I think I'll be looking forward to the future chapters more though, as I am excited to write some romance between the two main characters which this story has been lacking. But from this story, it kinda initiates that it would begin to happen soon! And the Lunar Ball, of course..
And I went back to chapter 3 and I took out a important factor, which is hardly noticible, so don't worry - you don't have to go back to look for the change: I'll mention it in the next chapter.
I'll try to upload next week, if I have the time, as I'm due for three projects. :S Thanks for your paitence and I hope you'll continue to read my story! :) And review, too?