"I think you just hit a new record," Winn laughed in amazement as Kara scarfed another potsticker into her mouth. "What was that, twenty?"
"Twenty four!" Kara smiled with her eyes as she chewed. "Two dozen down, at least...six more to go."
"I don't know how you do it," he shook his head. "Oh yeah. Right. You're not human."
She punched him in the shoulder as she scooped up another with her chopsticks.
"You're in a really good mood for someone who's got the the world's darkest and dirtiest rain cloud after your soul," he noted. "What's with you?"
"Nothing!" she defended. "I'm still freaked out, but there's nothing I can do about it right now. Anyway, maybe it was just a fluke. An awful, murderous fluke, but a fluke nonetheless."
"Doubtful," Alex chimed in as she uncorked a bottle of wine. "Wishful thinking's not going to prevent the world from exploding."
"Well, something has to," Kara shrugged. "But in the meantime, why not make the best of things? Life doesn't have to be complete misery, you know. We should enjoy what we can."
"Amen to that," Winn agreed, taking a glass from Alex.
"I definitely see it though," Alex shook her head. "You're even more bubbly than usual. Did something happen with you and James?"
"God, no," Kara rolled her eyes. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you there is no 'me and James,' except as friends. And he's not even here right now, so I can't be sure about that."
"He'll come around," Winn promised. "Trust me."
Kara smiled, hoping it was true, thankful Winn had gotten over things as quickly as he did.
"What should we watch?" Alex asked, stealing the remote from the coffee table.
"Game of Thrones?" Winn suggested.
"No, something more upbeat," Kara demanded.
"But you love Game of Thrones," he whined.
"It's just a little dark for right now. What about the movie Spy?"
"Wow, Kara, you are in a funny mood," Alex laughed. "I've been trying to get you to watch that for months. You hate movies. You can never sit still."
"Well, I'm up for trying something new!" she proclaimed. "Let's watch it."
The two gave in to Kara's whims, just glad to see her happy again, even if it was bound to be short-lived.
After Alex and Winn left, Kara tried to fall asleep, but couldn't. She lay in bed staring up at the stark white ceiling, thinking about everything that happened that day, but above all, the way Ms. Grant looked at her, saying her name, as she got in the elevator. She was disappointed later that afternoon when she brought the budget report to her office and she wasn't there, leaving it on her desk, figuring she must have gone home early.
I wonder what she eats when she's by herself, Kara thought, brow furrowed, playing with her lips. Probably something fancy, like caviar. With pretzels. I bet she licks the salt off before she puts them in her mouth, like a dirty secret she'd never reveal in front of anyone.
Jesus.
She rolled over violently, burying her head in her pillow, chastising herself for thinking about something so ridiculous while there were much more important things to worry about, to feel guilty about.
But this wasn't the first time she found herself lying in bed thinking about Ms. Grant, or how green her eyes got when she looked at her. That color had always scared her, the color of Kryptonite, knowing it could destroy her, had destroyed so many people she loved, like Astra. But the green in Cat's eyes was a different green, the color of emerald fields she'd seen in books, Irish clovers brimming over rock, new life sprouting as the seasons changed. They were the color of the ocean, the flecks of gold in them bringing out the color even more, reflecting it like sparks from the sun.
She turned back again to face the ceiling, wanting to forget everything, wanting to just slip into unconsciousness for the night without these visions playing over and over in her head, but she was so restless, and so lonely. She thought about Cat wrapped up in her cape, the way she'd stood so close to her to stay warm, the smell of her sweet breath as it hit her lips.
Fuck me, Kara grabbed at her own hair, pulling her roots before covering her eyes with her hands.
This was not new, but until now she'd been able to ignore it, cast it off as a silly crush on her mentor, a woman anyone should look up to. But she'd realized more and more, especially in the last few weeks, that as much as she did admire her, did want to be like her in many ways, it wasn't just that. She wanted to be near her, wanted to know everything about her, all the things she kept hidden from those that tried so hard to break into her private world of opulence. But Kara didn't care about those things. She wanted to know what Cat Grant dreamed about when the world wasn't watching, and more than anything, wanted Cat to know her dreams as well.
Since trying to sleep with James, she hadn't even thought about sex very much, feeling like maybe that part of her wasn't as human as she'd thought. She remembered times she'd tried things with other guys, never enjoying it, always feeling like that's just what she needed to do to be "normal," to be the girl the world, the media, her friends, everyone seemed to want her to be.
On the rare occasion she had tried to touch herself, she felt too overwhelmed, like she was coming undone, vulnerable and powerful beyond what she could handle. But now, she felt she might be ready to try again, desperate for some relief. Her body ached with want, knowing it was impossible to get what she was really craving.
Then again, figuring there was nothing wrong with fantasy, that even she deserved that much, she closed her eyes and thought about Cat. She pictured her sitting on the balcony of her office, legs crossed beneath a sharp pencil skirt and buttoned up blouse, a glass of scotch in one hand as she propped herself up with the other. She'd come to her so many times like that, both as Kara and as Supergirl. Sometimes Cat let her stay out there with her. Mostly they were silent, looking out on the city, keeping their thoughts to themselves. But every now and then Kara caught the older woman looking at her, checking out the way her uniform hugged her curves, the way her skirt stopped mid-thigh before revealing strong, muscular legs draped in tights.
She's your boss, she shook her head, trying to talk herself out of it. But...she's more than that, too. Right?
Lying there, Kara ran her hand up her own thigh. She thought about the night she'd gone to Cat after the whole red kryptonite incident, how she'd apologized, how Ms. Grant so easily took her back. She imagined sitting on the arm of a chair, watching the city she loved so much, Cat coming to stand between her legs, running both hands up her skirt, teasing, asking for permission to go further.
Kara shook those thoughts from her mind, refusing to let herself get carried away, even as she continued tracing her fingers across the soft cotton. Slowly, she pulled back the fabric, dipping her fingers beneath the elastic, sending waves of tremors and possibility up her torso and into her shoulders. As she ran her fingers through the small patch of hair, she continued imagining green eyes watching her touch herself, what Ms. Grant would think of her like this, legs spread beneath the sheets, knees bent, bracing, ready to fully acknowledge her potential, just as she'd encouraged her to so many times.
She dipped her fingers between taut, smooth folds, breath catching at how wet she was, confirming how real these fantasies were, how they made her question everything she thought she knew about herself.
Hesitant to go on, to give in, to acknowledge just what it meant if she let herself do this while thinking about another woman, a particular woman, she took a deep breath before trailing one finger up through her flesh to find the small, swollen mound. It burned when she reached it, feeling like fire might melt through to the other side, but compelling her to press deeper. She circled it slowly at first, letting out small whispers of sound, surprised as just how good it felt, and at the same time, knowing she'd been avoiding it for exactly that reason.
As she allowed her fingers to speed up, she thought about Ms. Grant's eyes hovering above her martini glass, only this time, they hovered above the hem of her skirt, mouth occupied with…
The lights in the loft flickered, but Kara was too caught up to notice. Her fingers sped up to a level impossible for anyone else, taking full advantage of her powers to flit them generously against her nub, careful not to go overboard, but losing the ability to slow down. Still, she flushed at the brazen, self-satisfied feeling of knowing just the right pressure to use, the control and autonomy of being the only one who could send her over the edge and bring her to completion in this moment. She'd started this, and only she could finish it, kicking into overdrive, still gentle enough to be pleasurable, but impressed by how much she could take.
With her eyes closed, she flicked and rubbed against her warm, throbbing pulse until her breathing became erratic. She could swear she felt fingers everywhere, all over her body, tracing their way up her legs and across her stomach, over her arms and through her hair, wildly grasping at every inch of her skin.
The burning increased, eyes squinting shut, brow furrowed as her mouth hung open, teeth biting needily at her bottom lip, until she couldn't hold back any longer. Her fingers were a blur as they vibrated, and with just a few more deep, driven, insistent flicks, her legs spread further apart, hip bones cracking slightly as she thrust her red, clenching sex toward the ceiling, groaning deeply as she gave in, coming hard for the first time, warm liquid escaping with a gush against the sheets until a powerful flood erupted over the bed, over her feet, splashing against her ankles.
Her eyes shot open. All was silent except for the sound of her heart racing as she panted. She had never felt more alive.
After a few seconds, as the endorphins, or whatever the equivalent for a Kryptonian was, began to reside, she could still feel the phantom trace of something wrapped around each of her limbs. As her eyes came into focus, her jaw fell open once more at the sight of lush, green foliage hanging like a canopy above. When she tried to move, she struggled at first, looking down to see vines twining themselves around her calves and over her biceps. Quickly she ripped them from her, sitting up in bed and shaking them from her body, pulling hibiscus and lotus flowers from her locks before standing on the cold floor, careful not to slip as her toes dipped into the inch-deep pool of water covering the ground.
"Oh...my god…" she breathed aloud, head spinning around as she took in the small jungle that had grown over her apartment. "What…"
She stood still for a few more moments, eyes quickly scanning the space to ensure there wasn't a threat. With no other creatures in sight, save for the plant life, she took a deep breath, still reveling in the aftershocks of everything she'd experienced, before shaking it off and beginning the process of cleaning the place up. She was confused, and scared, not knowing what she had unleashed, but also too embarrassed to tell Alex, or god forbid anyone else at the DEO. She hoped whatever this was, she could figure it out on her own.
Thankful the second time that night for her superspeed, she finished cleaning up quickly, slipping back into bed as her mind raced through all the possibilities of what this might mean, before exhaustion kicked in and sent her to sleep.