DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!
-NCIS-
A FEW DAYS LATER...
"That the new girlfriend, Probie?" Tony sneered as Tim hung up the phone. "Of course, you can't really call her 'new' since you've been seeing her for months."
Tim's hand left his phone to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Tony, please." Tim begged wearily as he settled back into his gray desk chair. Ever since Tony had found out that Tim had been seeing someone he had made snide and sometimes downright vicious comments. Tim tried not to become offended. He knew that he had hurt his friend and this was just his way of striking back, but it was hard, especially when he really got started. He hoped that by pleading with him, Tim could stop him before he got started.
There was silence from Tony's corner and Tim breathed a sigh of relief, which proved to be short lived.
"So." Tony said after a minute. "When do I get to meet your mystery woman?" He asked, his voice neutral.
Tim froze as he tried to find a way out of this but realized that sooner or later he would have to tell Tony about his relationship with Meg, especially if he wanted to ask Tony to be his best man. Might as well as get it over with. "How about tonight?" Tim asked, resigned.
"Tonight?" Tony asked, surprised. He hadn't expected it to happen this quickly, given how he had acted these past few days.
"Yeah." Tim said, turning slightly toward Tony's desk. "We're—" He stopped, not sure he was ready to do this. "We're having supper with Jimmy and Breena. You can tag along if you want." Tim said. "That is if you don't have plans already." He finished after a second.
"Sure!" Tony eagerly accepted. "I'd like that!" He said happily, wanting a chance to make up for how he had been acting. Yeah, he picked and poked fun, but Tony had crossed a line lately and he knew it. "I don't have any plans that can't be changed." He said absently, thinking about the date to have drinks with Abby and Ziva he had made when he wasn't really speaking to Tim. They would have to change it to the next night. It would probably be even better tomorrow since it was Saturday and they weren't suppose to work. He might even be able to convince Tim and Jimmy to come. He'd talk to them tonight. Jimmy would...Tony froze. Jimmy. Why did the thought of Jimmy bother him so much? Tony's eyes widened as he replayed the conversation he had just had with Tim in his head.
Tony jumped up from his seat and stalked angrily to where Tim sat, spinning him the rest of the way around until he faced Tony. "Palmer!" He exclaimed incredulously. "You told Jimmy Palmer!" Tony didn't even try to hide his anger or his hurt. "Who else knows? Ducky? Gibbs? The mail guy? Am I the last to find out?"
"Hey." Tim said gently. "Jimmy only knows because we met at his engagement party. It's Breena's cousin, Meg. No one else knows." He said softly.
Tony had started to relax but stiffened again, even angrier. "The engagement party!" He asked in disbelief. "That's more then a few months ago, Tim!"
Tim didn't say anything, just stared into Tony's hurt green eyes. What else was there to say, really? How could he justify keeping this secret from his best friend? Even if he could tell him the truth, he didn't want to. How do you tell someone that you 'hooked up' with a woman because she was someone that held no interest to you? How do you tell someone that you liked not caring about her? How do you tell someone that you liked her not caring about you? How do you tell someone that you plan to marry a woman simply because you didn't love her and she didn't love you? How do you tell someone that you were that damaged?Especially when that someone was your brother? And Tony was his brother—no like or almost to it.
The answer, Tim realized, was quite simple. You didn't. Because he couldn't possibly understand. So he said nothing.
Tony stood up furiously, shaking his head in disgust. "I guess I should just be grateful that I stumbled onto the truth before you decided to get married!"
Tim got a deer in the headlights look and Tony got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Probie?" Tony said pleading with Tim to say he was wrong. That he had misunderstood.
Tim forced a smile and stood up. "Congratulate me, Tony!" He said in a fake happy tone. "I'm getting married and I want you to be my best man!"
"M-M-Married?" Tony sputtered in disbelief. "You're getting married!"
Tim nodded.
"You can't be serious!" He exclaimed. "This has to be some kind of sick joke!"
"Do you really think I would joke about this!" Tim asked incredulously.
No. Tim wouldn't joke about this. Because it wasn't funny. Raged bubbled in Tony. How could Tim do this to Ziva? Didn't he know that him and Ziva belonged together? Tim was ruining everything! After all she has been through Ziva certainly didn't deserve this! Tony was fiercely glad that they were the only ones in the bullpen. Ziva didn't need to hear that Tim was going to marry another woman like this. Fear filled Tony and suddenly, Tony wanted to hurt Tim. He narrowed his green orbs and a spiteful look came onto his face. "What? Ziva wouldn't have you so you grab onto the first woman who pays you even the slightest bit of attention?" He said hatefully, not caring that he was giving away that he knew about Ziva and Tim. "Well, news flash—Meg Cole was only nice to you because Breena felt sorry for you and asked her to be!" Tony's tone was biting and cruel. "And if she's actually going to marry you," he sneered. "it's only because she wants something from you—and you can bet it's not the dull, boring life she's signed on for by becoming your wife!" His words were vicious in a way that he had never used before with the man that was a brother to him, not even these last three or four days since Tony had found out that Tim was seeing someone else. They were designed to hurt and Tony knew that his daggers had struck home even before the wounded look came onto Tim's expressive face. Regret replaced his rage but Tony didn't retract his words.
Tim opened his mouth but closed it when he found that he couldn't force any words past the thick lump in his throat. Besides, Tim knew that Tony had only lashed out in hurt and anger. Tim couldn't deliberately hurt anyone he cared so much about—especially not his older brother. And Tim couldn't really dispute what Tony's words. Everything that he had said was true. And while the words stung, it was the truth behind them and that it had been Tony that said them that hurt the most. So Tim didn't say anything, just moved around his friend and walked out of the bullpen, Tony still in the same spot, watching him leave.
Caught up as they were in their own turmoil, neither Tony or Tim noticed Ziva standing slightly in the shadows with an anguished look on her face.
~NCIS~
Tim opened his eyes as soon as he heard his bathroom door close and sighed. His mind was still on his fight with Tony earlier that day. He was glad that they were not on call this weekend because he probably wouldn't get any rest. And he didn't think he would be able to face Tony. He had been surprised that Tony had known about him and Ziva but after thinking about it, he realized he shouldn't have been. Tony had never learned the concept of other people's privacy. He also wondered who else knew and then he realized it really didn't matter because he really didn't care.
Tim sighed again. Sometimes he didn't know what he was doing. He couldn't help but wonder if marrying Meg was the right thing. It seemed to be what he had wanted, now he wasn't so sure. He couldn't help but wonder if he was doing Meg a disservice by marrying her. He was the one that talked her into it. It seemed to him that life had given them both a raw deal and this was a way for them to get their own back. To thumb their noses up at the ones who had hurt them and say, see, we weren't enough for you but we've found someone who we are good enough for. But now it seemed like he was taking away Meg's chance to find someone who would love her the way he didn't and could give her the life he couldn't.
The bathroom door opened and Meg walked out wrapped in one of his big, fluffy bath sheets. "Sorry." She said, hesitating before continuing on to the dresser. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"You didn't." He replied, turning over onto his back and putting an arm behind his head. He watched her slip on a t-shirt over the towel and put on a clean pair of underwear. Where Ziva had had no problem being naked with him, Meg was quite modest. She refused to sleep with him in the nude and wouldn't get undressed without the lights being turned off. Tim suspected that it had something to do with her ex-husband but he never asked and she never said. Meg pulled the towel off when she was dressed and threw it into the hamper that rested beside the dresser. It was a knew addition to his bedroom, having appeared one day, just like the clothes that lay in the drawer that Meg had claimed and the bath products that rested beside his own in the bathroom. He had similar things at her place, clothes that he hadn't even known she had taken over there for him and stuff that she had discovered he liked that she had bought for him without having to be asked so that he could be comfortable there. Even Jethro had a new bed, bowls, food, and other stuff there. In his relationships before, even with Ziva, Tim would have had to bring that stuff himself because their home was their home and his home was his home. But Meg, after they had started to spend so much of their free time together, had blended each of their places where it just wasn't her house and his apartment, but both places were theirs. Tim found the little things that she did to take care of him endearing. No one had ever made such considerations for him before. He found that he liked it.
Meg pulled the sheet and comforter back and slid into the bed beside him. "Is there anything wrong?" She asked, settling against the headboard and reaching down for his hand, linking their fingers. Tim had been unusually quiet and distracted since he had picked her up and there was something about the way that he held himself, even now, that said to her he had been hurt somehow.
Tim turned his head to look at her, bringing their linked hands to his lips, kissing her soft, sweet-smelling skin tenderly. This was how he liked her best, strawberry blond hair falling loose around her face, spilling down her back, pretty face devoid of make-up, smelling of cherries and vanilla, a scent that didn't smell the same on anyone else as it did on her. This was the woman she didn't show to anyone else. This Meg was so different then the one she presented to the world; the consummate professional, in her tailored suits, designer shoes, her hair pinned tightly back, make-up expertly done, contacts in even though she much preferred the glasses she wore with him. He'd asked her once why she wore contacts if she hated them so much and she told him that others' saw glasses as a weakness and she couldn't afford to be seen as weak by anyone.
"Tim?" Meg inquired softly when he didn't answer.
"No, Meg." He said, coming out of his thoughts. "Nothing's wrong." He said quietly, looking into her clear blue-green eyes.
A sympathetic look came across her face. "You were thinking of her again, weren't you?"
Tim stiffened. "No. I wasn't thinking of Ziva." He said, no inflection in his voice. Tim still found it hard to talk about Ziva with Meg, even though it was Meg he had went to after realizing he had no one else to go to the night Ziva had tore down his carefully structured world. It was that night that had really changed their relationship. That night was what made him wonder if they could make a go of marriage.
Tim loosened their hands and swinging his legs off the bed, sitting up.
Meg stared at this bare back for a moment. "It's—okay if you were. I don't mind." And she really didn't. Meg knew that Tim still loved Ziva. It was just one of the things that she admired about him. His capacity to love and never let go. Without being told, she could tell that there had been very little love in his life and that he could still love so...so...completely... just stunned her.
"I said I wasn't thinking of her!" He exclaimed tightly, jumping up and angrily pulling on the pajama bottoms that laid on the floor beside his king-size bed. "I was thinking of Tony! We—we had an argument today." He said in a softer voice.
So that was what was wrong! Meg knew instinctively that it wasn't one of their normal arguments but could tell he wasn't ready to talk about it yet so she left it alone. "I—I didn't mean to upset you, Tim." Meg said from her place on the bed. "I just wanted you to know that it doesn't bother me."
Tim spun around to face her."But it should, Meg!" He exclaimed. "Don't you see? It should bug the hell out of you!"
"But it doesn't." Meg said with a shrug.
The irrational anger and tightness that had filled him receded from his body, leaving Tim feeling dejected. Meg was telling the truth. It really didn't bother her that Ziva was still so much in his thoughts. Because they weren't in love. They weren't close to falling in love and they would never be in love. Tim sat down heavily on the bed. "Meg." He said wearily, shaking his head. "Oh, Meg, what are we doing?''
Meg stared at his broad, bare back for a long time before answering. "We are two, intelligent, consenting adults who like and trust one another. We are entering into a relationship with our eyes wide open. We know that its not going to be a conventional marriage and are okay with that because that's what we like about it. We are both just glad to have someone to come home to. We're both glad not be alone anymore." Meg said at last. "That's what we are doing, Tim, and there's nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all."
~NCIS~