Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
A/N: So I updated in less than two weeks :) Good nah? I was so astound with the response for the last chapter! Despite the lack of Paul action you guys still liked it :) I'm so befuddled that people are enthusiastic about my over inventive imagination xD Anyways, this chapter has some confrontation, as expected and well I hope you will like it :) Also for the avid fans, I have some great news! One of the sweetest person on earth! DanaIsis, made a video for Oh Jules. The link is on my profile! You should definitely check it out :D I love, love, love it :D I guess you guys will too :) So check it out , and in the mean time, enjoy this chapter :)
P.S I have a new story: Simultaneous Hearts, another Paul/OC story, but then AU and without the hassle of supernatural things. It'll probably be onl in Paul's POV. I wanted to explore his character and thought that this story would be helpful for me. It's on my page and hopefully you guys will like it :) Btw, Paul is a soldier! Can't you guys picture him like that xD I know I can xD A bit too good :P
Song used Airplanes by B.O.B & Hailey Williams
But Those Days Are Gone
Communication was the one thing I had a hard time with. Mostly, because the words I used never would be enough to express what I felt. Every word I used was not good enough and I used every wrong word. I suppose this is what people call karma. Ironically enough, communication always was the one thing Paul and I worked on. Yet communication torn us apart. I bet he had no trouble communicating with Rachel. I leant against the table and felt Emily's eyes on me as I watched Rachel and Paul move to the crowd of friends. Both of them being greeted with a lot of enthusiasm. I could see the happiness on Rachel's face as Paul smirked at Quil, I guessed he said something funny.
"Julie?" Emily's voice rang in the dark and at the same moment Paul's eyes met mine. I had to resist the urge to shake. I blinked at him once before he turned his eyes away. A sharp throb in my chest filled up the empty hollowness. I turned to Emily. The sadness in her eyes didn't really make things easier so I decided to grab a beer instead.
"I'm fine." I muttered quietly and I heard Emily sigh. At least she didn't push me to elaborate. I suspected she wanted to though, then again. Emily always wanted to help people.
The night passed by slower than I thought it would and I found myself retreating slowly. I mostly sat with Emily who stayed with me out of loyalty. I told her many times to go but she said she was perfectly fine with me and I found myself not caring afterwards. If she wanted to stay with me then she was allowed to. I mostly kept to myself anyways, and the beer. I wasn't sure how much I had drunk but I did know that now it was starting to affect me. How amazing was that?
To top things off I could see Paul turn his eyes to me more than once and I knew by the way he clenched his jaw and the flashing in his eyes that he was angry. His hands were fists and I could see the muscles clench in his forearms. How predictable could he possibly be? If there was one thing I could calculate it had to be his anger. It started with the physical features and from there it would move to snappy words. And eventually he'd snapped and he'd use his fists. Like I said, predictable.
Fortunately, I was able to calm him down a bit before. Now, Rachel did that. I could see her hand on his clenched fist. I felt my stomach churn and I moved my eyes to the sea. It was black in the night and even though I could hear the waves crash. There was no wind and barely no rain. Just a bit of a drizzle that was easy to ignore. After all, we were used to so much more. I grabbed another bottle of beer and I wondered how many bottles I've had. I was no hardcore drinker, so this stuff affected me much sooner than I thought it would.
"Oye. Julie!" I looked up and saw Jake stand in front of me. I could see the disapproval in his eyes and before I knew it he had pulled me up on my feet. "You do realize you're being anti-social." He informed and I shrugged.
"I don't see anyone complaining Jake." He rolled his eyes at my remark.
"Well I am. Come on." Jacob pulled me towards the small crowd that included Embry, Quil and of course our happy couple, Rachel and Paul. Note the sarcasm. A wave of panic clouded my vision and I struggled against Jacob's strong grip. He couldn't possibly be kidding, right? He wanted me to join them.
"Jacob, I'm not going there! Let me go!" I hissed and I could hear the low chuckle that escaped Jacob's mouth. I glared at him as I struggled. Anger was making space for real fear. I honestly didn't want to go. "Oh, Jake! No, I can't. Don't make me! Please!"
Jacob sighed, halting his movements. "Julie. This is your chance. Take it!" I grunted.
"I'm not you! I don't do confrontations well! So, let me go back to Emily! Or, take me home. But I don't want to go there. Please." I pleaded but Jacob didn't listen and he pulled me to the crowd. I turned my back against them and Jacob forcefully turned me around. He kept his hands on my shoulders, preventing me to escape. I could see Quil chuckle as Embry gave me a pitiful smile, although his eyes shone with mirth. Rachel however, looked confused, and I resisted the urge to wipe that awkward look off her face. I didn't even look at Paul.
"Look whose here." Jacob said and I clenched my jaw and raised my hand, waving at Quil and Embry.
"I was wondering where you ran off to!" Quil said. I frowned. "But I see you've been indulging yourself." He nodded to the bottle of beer and I let out a nervous laugh.
"Yeah, I thought, why not. Right?" I took another gulp and refrained from gagging. God, I could feel the nausea creep up on me. I then felt Rachel's eyes on me. I gave her a small smile, hoping she wouldn't catch the bitterness in it. "Rachel! How are you?"
"Good." She said shortly. "How's the head? Heard you took a quite a fall."
I swallowed, irritation bubbling beneath my skin. How the hell did she know? I mean, I doubted Jacob told her what the hell happened. I glanced at Jacob and seeing his guilty expression told me enough. I turned back to Rachel, probably giving her the stink eye. "I did." I said calmly.
"Glad to see there was nothing serious." The way she spat her words at me made me question my judgement. And here I was, thinking she was a nice girl. Despite the fact I loathed her with every fibre in my being. God, I couldn't even think properly.
"What happened?" Embry asked, exchanging looks between me and Rachel. I shrugged.
"I just fell, hit my head." I said somewhat blandly and Embry nodded while Quil laughed behind him. I frowned at Quil and he silenced his laughter.
"Well, glad you're okay Julie! I'm gonna get a drink." He shuffled away, back to the table when a silence engulfed us. I felt the urge to flee even more prominent than before. There was nothing worse than trying to escape such a situation but not being able to because you're permanently rooted to the spot.
"So, Rachel." Jacob began. "How's the hospital?" Rachel eyed Jacob strangely before shrugging her shoulders.
"I'm sure it's alright. I wouldn't know. I'm only an EMT! I don't quite know the ins and outs of the hospital. You should ask Summer. She's the resident." She pointed out and he nodded and he rubbed the back of his neck. I observed Rachel movements and tried to compare them to Paul's. The difference from before was that Rachel was trying to get closer only Paul wouldn't let her.
"Where did you go to college, Rachel?" I suddenly asked, my hands rooted to her hand around Paul's.
"Brown." Rachel said stiffly and I nodded, thoroughly impressed.
"Oh, that's great. Tell me though." I began and I knew the second this left my mouth I was gonna have a big mess on my hands. "How does one go from La Push to an Ivy League? What did you do?" Paul's eyes snapped to mine.
"Julie!" Jacob hissed from behind me and I shrugged innocently. Maybe the alcohol truly was affecting me.
"No, really. I'm interested." I said although it may not have come out as convincing as I wanted to. Rachel was glaring at me however before she exchanged a look with Paul. I felt anger bubble inside of me and I shook my bottle, realizing it was empty. "I'm gonna get a drink." I announced and I moved away from Jacob and he let me go. I assumed that he knew it was better to leave me alone right now.
I moved to the table and reached out for a beer when suddenly a hand snatched it away. I spun on my heels only to be confronted with Paul's dark stare. His anger was radiating off him like some kind of halo and his knuckles were practically white while clenching his fists. I swallowed away the surprise and eyed him indifference.
"I was going to drink that." I told him calmly and to my surprise he threw it away in the sand. I raised my eyebrows.
"I don't care." He told me. His voice was low.
"Care to tell me what the hell you want then?" I asked him before turning my back on him. "Rachel is waiting for you. It seems as if she can't function without you." I snapped.
"Why did you say that to Rach?" Paul asked and I found a pang in my heart stab me fervently at the casual mention of her name.
"I was genuinely interested." I told him. "Sorry!" I mocked my apology, only fuelling his irritation with me.
"Don't you pull that shit on me Julie. It won't work! Now, go back to her and apologize." Paul ordered and he crossed his arms in front of his chest. I let out an incredulous laugh.
"Funny Paul." I told him. "For a second I thought you were being serious." My sarcasm wasn't getting by unnoticed and his jaw clenched. His own irritation growing by my indifference. "I'm not apologizing to that slag." I moved past him but he grabbed my wrist.
"Julie, this isn't over."
"Don't touch me!" I screamed. For a second everything slowed down. I could see everyone turn around, facing, witnessing, watching our interaction. Our lack of communication again shining its glory. I could feel my chest tighten and I realized I was this close to panicking. Only, my anger was far too prominent to swing me to that side. Tears were still absent and in the back of my mind I was waiting for them to appear.
Paul didn't let me go, instead, he pulled me closer. Our chests were practically touching, and they would be, had he not kept my arm in between the two of us. "Why shouldn't I touch you?" Paul asked lowly and I could feel something inside me snap.
"Let go of me!" Tears were blurring my vision, there they were. Appearing with a slam. "Just leave me the fuck alone!" I raised my other arm hitting him on his chest and he let go of my arm in surprise and I stumbled to the ground. I felt my head spin with the overload of emotions. I was feeling so much that I had no idea how to keep my ground. I quickly got back on my feet and I had only one intention. Getting the hell out of here.
I wasn't paying attention the pleas of attention, the people calling my name. I merely stumbled to the closest hiding place. Which was the forest. My mind wasn't focused on the fact that the forest wasn't the safest of places to be at right now. Especially with the recent animal attacks but God, I just needed to get away. Away from those prying looks, the words that evoked the feeling of betrayal. The idea that presented itself was ironic. Here I was, crying about feeling betrayed while it started with me betraying him.
I felt like a blind man, the way I made my way through the dark. It was obvious the alcohol was now making its presence known and I could laugh at the timing of it. At some point I had reached the trees and I leant against one of the trunk of the tree. I put my hand against my mouth, muffling any sound that escaped the clutches of my own hold. How was it, that every time I'd try to fix something I end up ruining it. How could one person be that destructive. They should've gotten rid of me long before this. I should've gotten rid of myself long time ago.
A warm hand grabbed my shoulder and I yelped moving away in shock. Once I realized who it was I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding. I glanced at the tall Quileute. I felt utterly defeated. "Paul, just go! I get it, okay? I get it! Leave me alone."
"Just because it is more convenient for you, doesn't mean I should listen to it Julie." Paul spat. "This isn't over yet."
"Well what do you want me to say? Huh? What is there left to be said anyways?" I demanded. "I get it, okay? You're with Rachel, I see that! I know that! But I'm not going to apologize just because she's with you!"
"I'm not going to force you to apologize to her! I just expected better from you." I could feel the disdain in every word he said.
"Then what are you here for?" I cried out. "You don't have a say over me anymore. I'm nothing to you."
Paul let out a harsh sigh, rubbing his hand over his face. "Well, whose fault was that?" I froze. I eyed him through the corner of my eyes, my posture feeling like ice. It was as if I couldn't move. So he was now approaching the whole fucking problem. Now?
"You want to talk about it now?" I asked incredulously. "Now? When both of us know what happened anyways?"
"Enlighten me Jules! Please!" I gasped at his venomous use of my nickname.
"Stop it!" I warned him. I turned around and forced my feet to move deeper into the trees. Maybe one of them could provide me a safe hiding place from Paul.
"Don't walk away from me!" Paul bellowed. "If it's so hard to hear the fucking truth you shouldn't be here in the first place! This is all your fault anyways."
"Don't you think I don't know that?" I screamed back. My throat felt raw with not only the loud volume of my voice but also with the emotions bottled up there. "Don't you think I feel like a complete idiot every single day? Don't you think I regret it every time I see you with her?"
"And what about me?" Paul demanded. "You're the one that cheated on me. You're the one that fucked it up in the beginning!"
"You never gave me time to explain!" I tried to defend.
"What was there to explain? You screwed someone else!"
"No I didn't! If you even listened to me you would've known. I said no! I told Bryce I loved you, but you didn't even care. You just left!"
"You didn't try hard enough! And since when is it Bryce?" He spat, the hatred in his eyes growing hearing Bryce's name. I flinched.
"That's not important. I tried Paul, but you were so wrapped up in yourself you couldn't listen to me! You just yelled at me and took the next flight home!"
"You could've followed me!" I let out a sob at this and put my hands in front of my face. "How do you think I felt when I saw you with that son of a bitch? Do you think listening to you would be the first thing on my mind? God, how fucking stupid can you possibly be Julie?"
"Well, tell me then! Apparently the message isn't clear yet!" I screamed. For the first time Paul's eyes didn't soften seeing my tears and my chest tightened with pain. I put my hands on my stomach bending over before leaning against a tree. Paul was looking at me with a mixture of anger and worry but his anger was so dominant it took hold of his whole posture.
"So I guess the imprint is broken?" I whispered. I felt like choking.
"Unfortunately, it's not broken." Paul responded. His voice stronger than I'd expected. I turned my eyes to him. "But I wish it was, because I'm fucking done with my obligation towards you. The fact that there is nothing I could possibly owe you should've been enough but somehow I can't even seem to get rid of this fucking imprint."
"Rachel not doing the trick?"
"Julie, for fuck's sake. Rachel and I aren't together." I rolled my eyes in disbelieve. "She's my friend. She was there when you weren't."
"So what are you saying?" I demanded.
"Nothing Julie! I'm not saying anything." Paul murmured and turned his eyes to the ground.
"I pushed him away." I tried. "I told him no. I loved you, not him! You, it has always been you."
"It's too late for that Jules." Paul whispered. Tears brimmed over and I let out a sob. God, how much could my heart endure.
"Don't call me that." I choked. "God, don't call me that."
Silence engulfed us and the only thing that could be heard were my sobs and the drops of tears dampening the already damp earth. Everything that we just said kept replaying over and over in my head, like some kind of broken record. I had no clue how to get past that. It was stuck on repeat and everything kept echoing in my head. It was so damn prominent that I felt like collapsing. This whole argument had left us with nothing. We had finally approached the subject but we've come across an impasse. There was nothing that could possibly fix this now.
"We should get back." Paul muttered and he grabbed my arm, hauling me on my feet. I pulled away.
"I'm not going." I told him. My voice broke. Paul turned his eyes on me and he frowned.
"Julie, don't be a fucking idiot. Come on." He grabbed my arm again and pulled me with him but I dug my nails into his hand, wrenching it off me. He let go of me with a shocked expression. "So you're going to stay here then?" He asked. Anger was coating his words.
"Just leave me alone Paul." I murmured and I moved to the opposite direction.
"Julie!" Paul grabbed my arms again. "Look, I don't care what the fuck your problem is. Frankly, I could care less but I am not leaving you here. You've heard about the attacks. Do you have some kind of death wish?"
"Maybe if I got attacked, you would get rid of your obligation towards me." I told him blandly. "After all, death should to the trick right? Break the imprint and all." Paul grabbed hold of my shoulders and shook me a few times.
"It was a rhetorical question Julie. One that wasn't meant to be answered." He grabbed my arm again. "Now move!"
"Paul, I'm saying this one last time. Just leave me the fuck alone!" I pulled away from him, holding my arms close to my chest. "I'll get back on my own, but I don't want to be near you." Oh fuck, I was going to cry again. Paul's eyes hardened and he gave me a small nod.
"Well, you know your way back then." Paul muttered and to my surprise he actually left me alone.
I wasn't sure how long it took me to collapse after he was gone. I just remember the second he left and the seconds that had me on the ground. I didn't care my knees were stained dirty with mud. I didn't care that I was all alone in a forest with no flash light, with no one to tell me how to get back. With no one watching my back. I was all alone now. Just the way I wanted. The sobs were ripping apart my chest, only fuelling the hollowness in this empty chest of mine and at some point I got on my feet and moved in the direction I saw Paul disappear. My feet were moving on their own accord and the small crunches of broken branches snapped beneath my shoes.
The forest was a tricky part and not a lot of people knew these woods by heart. That included me as well. I had some knowledge but once I was deep inside the forest, nearing the heart, I wouldn't be able to find a way back home. I was no guide, nor was I an avid hiker. But I did know that these small hills and holes weren't there when I went inside. Several times I fell, and I was only staining my clothes dirtier than before. I wiped my hand over my face, probably staining it with mud, but I couldn't care less. At some point I lost my balance and I rolled down a slope, coming to a stop in a puddle of mud while hitting something solid. I groaned and tried to sit up straight as I eyed my now ruined clothes.
The mud was thinner than thought and it ran down my fingers like water. I frowned, mud wasn't supposed to do that. I swallowed thickly. Somehow a lump formed itself in my throat and I looked at the hard evidence I was leaning against. In the faint light that shone through the trees I could only see one thing. An arm. It was coated in red liquid and as I turned my eyes back to my clothes I realized I was covered in the same liquid as that arm.
"Oh-h God." I gasped and tremors of fear shook my body.
In front of me was a dead body and I was drenched in its blood. I let out a shriek and stumbled to my feet and tried to climb up the hill. My fear was drowning out any rational thoughts and I only wished for one thing. I should've gone with Paul. I should've left this place once I had the choice. My nausea was churning in my stomach and I felt dizzy with panic. It clouded my mind and some strawberry fog assaulted my fear making me sluggish.
This couldn't be happening.
I dropped my arms against my body and let out a sob before falling to the ground. The body was drawing my attention from every corner and I screamed again before I got back on my feet again.
I just had to get out of here.
A/N: So how was it? Next chapter will be in Paul's POV. Check out the Oh Jules video, link is on my profile page! And well, don't forget to review :) I love to hear your thoughts :D