This takes place shortly after the events in Girl Meets Permanent Record.
One note: Technically, baseball is a spring sport and I have no idea why their high school was holding tryouts in the fall. I feel like it would be more likely that they would be holding tryouts for basketball or wrestling, but the writers said baseball, so that's what I've gone with and yes, it did kill me to do, so.
She was the kind of girl who went to bed early. She needed, at least, eight hours of sleep to function. However, she was quickly finding that there really weren't enough hours in the day, which meant she had to borrow from the night.
She'd known that high school wasn't going to be easy, but she wasn't ready for her failures to start stacking up right out of the gate. Already, she'd had a major fight with her friends, lost half her boyfriend to her best friend (though really, she'd been the one to gain half of him and it had been Maya that had lost half) and, now, her grades were slipping.
Her first Spanish test had come back a D, her very first D and something she'd worn in shame for days afterward. Now, it was tacked to the back of her bedroom door, so that she could remember that feeling that she never wanted to have, again.
She'd never doubted that her future would be bright, but, suddenly, she was starting to watch it dim. She had to step up her game or the light would fade out altogether. So, she was pressing herself harder and if she happened to break, she'd just have to shove the pieces together and keep going.
"Well?" Topanga questioned, as Riley entered through the front door, by herself, for once. Maya had her first meeting for art club and it left Riley with one afternoon a week, in which, she didn't have the blonde to walk home with.
"It's better," Riley admitted, digging her paper out of her backpack and handing it over to her mother.
"It's not a D," her mother agreed, as she took in the C+ that was Riley's latest achievement.
"But it's not an A, either," Riley sighed, taking the paper back from her.
"Well, you're showing progress and next week, maybe we'll see a B, and then the week after, maybe, you'll finally get that A," Topanga assured her and Riley nodded once. She'd spent her entire life hearing her mother brag about her perfect grades and, despite, her outward attempts to encourage Riley, the brunette can't help thinking that her mother has to be, at least, a little disappointed in her daughter's slowly moving progress.
"I'm going to go work on some homework," Riley informed her, moving passed her mother in the direction of the stairs.
"Okay, I'll let you know when dinner is ready," Topanga offered, as Riley started up the first step.
She couldn't help feeling discouraged after receiving this week's grade. It wasn't as if she wasn't killing herself studying and trying to juggle a schedule filled with honors and AP classes, but she just kept coming up short.
She kicked off her shoes at the foot of her bed and laid her backpack down, crossing to look out of her window. It wasn't all that long ago when she'd dragged people there to try and fix their problems, but, now, she felt like she spent all of her time trying to figure out a way to fix her own.
"Hey," a voice greeted her, as they knocked on the door to her room.
"Uncle Josh," Riley greeted him in surprise, flipping around in her seat to see him, "I didn't know you were coming over."
"I'm borrowing your washing machine. The ones in the dorms have lines going all the way out of the laundry room and I'm on my last pair of underwear," he informed her, crossing the room and sinking down into the seat beside her.
"I didn't need to know that," Riley informed him, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth, in spite of herself.
"You want to talk about it?" he questioned, his voice taking on a tone of sincerity.
"Talk about what?"
"You just started high school a couple of weeks ago, and you look like someone just told you the sun isn't coming out tomorrow," Josh explained, as Riley played with the edge of her skirt.
"I'm struggling in my classes," Riley admitted, "And, as hard as I try, I just can't seem to juggle everything."
"I felt like that, too, when I started high school," Josh admitted, "But I got a couple of months in and things weren't so new anymore and I got a handle on it. Then, I started college and it was like the first few weeks of high school all over again, only worse."
"Well, that makes me feel better," Riley snorted, folding her arms across her chest.
"You want me to let you in on a secret?" he asked, leaning forward.
"Yes," Riley admitted.
"I'll deny this to my dying day, but it was my mom who helped me get organized and it made all the difference," Josh offered.
"I don't know if you've met me, Uncle Josh, but I'm pretty organized. I have color-coded binders and separate dividers for all of my classes," Riley groaned, disappointed at his lack of a helpful solution.
"I'm not talking about organizing your supplies, I'm talking about organizing your time. She got me a planner and we arranged everything out every week. I had a set time to study each subject and we worked it around my lacrosse schedule. When I was able to look through the things that I was doing with my time and figure out what needed to be a priority and what didn't, I was a lot less overwhelmed with everything."
"I guess I could try that," Riley agreed, though she was pretty sure that arranging her time wasn't a problem, either.
"I'm not being helpful, at all, am I?" he seemed to read her thoughts, sighing as he leaned back against the pillows of the window seat.
"You get points for trying," Riley assured him.
"Look, I know it's weird because we're close enough in age that we're more like cousins, but I'm really your uncle-."
"And my best friend had a crush on you," Riley cut him off, watching him squirm in discomfort over her derailing of the conversation.
"But," he continued, as though she hadn't interrupted, "I do want to help you out. So, if you need help with a subject or anything, let me know."
"You mean that?" Riley questioned, knowing that he could offer plenty of insight into her classes because he had already taken them himself.
"Yeah, I do. I moved here to be close to our family and I really want to take advantage of that," Josh assured her, squeezing her shoulder as he got up to leave.
"Thanks," Riley smiled at him, feeling slightly better after their conversation.
"Anytime," he agreed, heading towards her doorway.
"Hey, Uncle Josh?" Riley called, before he could turn the corner.
"Yes?" he spun around.
"The sun is going to come out tomorrow, isn't it?"
"Yeah, Riles; it'll be there," he promised her, giving her a smile before he disappeared from her view.
Riley brought her textbook into the bleachers and sank down in the back, as she waited for Maya to meet her. It had been Zay, who had made a casual comment about how the girlfriends were supposed to show up and watch some of the baseball practices, which had led to a discussion about math and triangles and, finally, Maya and Riley had both decided that they'd come together to watch Lucas practice.
She wrapped her arms around herself, as a gust of wind created goosebumps that ran all the way down her bare arms. She rubbed her arms to generate friction, before opening her textbook to the pages she was supposed to be reading and settling it into her lap.
"I'm pretty sure this doesn't constitute as watching," Zay called up to her, as he dropped his bag onto one of the bottom seats. Most of the rest of the team, was already warming up, including Lucas, and Zay was the only other person she'd seen sitting in the stands. She can't help wondering if she'd been set up for something.
"I have homework," Riley informed him.
"Which is more interesting, then watching all of us display our manly attributes in this manly sport?" Zay questioned, gesturing towards the field.
"I don't think my reading quiz is going to be on how far you manage to hit the ball," Riley pointed out.
"Well color me hurt," he joked, snagging a fleece jacket out of his bag and tossing it up to her, "I see where your priorities are."
"Thanks," she shrugged her arms into his jacket and he nodded, before making his way out to join the others on the field.
"What did I miss?" Maya questioned, sometime later, as she joined Riley at the top of the bleachers.
"The kid in the middle is throwing the white ball at the kids holding the bats, until one of them hits it," Riley replied, not looking up from her book.
"Then why are they all laying down on the ground?" Maya asked and Riley glanced up. Sure enough, they'd moved on to doing sit ups.
"What took you so long?" Riley changed the subject, not overly interested in what was going on with the boys on the field.
"Huh?" Maya questioned, and Riley realized that she'd been staring intently at the boys and completely missed what she had said.
"Nothing," Riley let it go, flipping the page of her book.
"Thanks for coming," Lucas offered, when practice had ended, and they were gathering up their belongings to leave.
"No problem, I enjoyed the view," Maya offered, as Riley trailed down the steps behind her.
She couldn't see Maya's face, but she could already imagine the carless smirk that was probably on it that was causing the tint of a blush to appear on Lucas's face.
"Thanks for lending me your jacket," Riley handed the mentioned item over to Zay and he shoved it back into his gym bag.
"Well, you guys want to go get smoothies?" Lucas suggested, as they headed off the field.
"Sure," Maya agreed, "I'm supposed to be meeting my mother, anyway."
"I'm game," Zay answered and the three of them turned to look at Riley.
"I can't," Riley replied, unsure that she could stomach spending the rest of the afternoon watching Maya and Lucas flirt.
"Why not?" Lucas pressed, looking over at her in surprise.
"You already finished most of your homework in the stands," Maya added, before she could use that as an excuse.
"I have a family thing," Riley offered, relieved that she was pulling from a partial truth.
"What kind of a family thing?" Maya pressed, looking at Riley suspiciously.
"A laundry family thing," Riley replied, speeding up, in an effort to cut herself out of the conversation.
"I don't think that's a real thing," Zay stage-whispered to Lucas and Maya.
"It is totally real," Riley called over her shoulder, as they started down the steps of the subway.
"Then explain it to us," Maya suggested, hooking arms with Riley, so that Riley was forced to fall back into step with them.
"My family does our laundry together. It's very important bonding time and I can't miss it," Riley explained, trying to keep things vague enough that Maya wouldn't have any desire to follow Riley home. She already had to share Lucas with her, was it really so bad that she wanted to keep her uncle's weekly visits to herself?
"You've never mentioned this before," Maya pointed out.
"That's because it's new," Riley replied, sinking down into an empty seat and crossing her legs. Maya took the seat next to her and Lucas looked between the two empty seats on either side of the girls and groaned before he grabbed ahold of the rail that would allow him to stand in front of both of them.
"Your family just decided to start bonding with each other, by doing laundry?" Zay asked, skeptically.
"Exactly," Riley smiled at him, as Lucas looked at her in confusion.
"Alright, well I guess, have fun with that," Zay offered, content to let the subject drop.
They parted ways at the appropriate stops and Riley finally felt like she could breathe again, as she headed in the direction of her house.
"I'm home," Riley announced, letting herself in through the front door.
"Well, you're the only one," Josh offered, from where he was sprawled out on the couch, "Auggie ditched me to be with his girlfriend, your mom's still at work, and your dad had a meeting."
"But I'm sure our washer and dryer were thrilled to see you," Riley offered, setting her bag down on the table and heading to the fridge to grab a water bottle.
"They're hard to read," Josh admitted, moving over, so that Riley could take the seat next to him, "How was school?"
"Apparently, it's a girlfriend's duty to attend the baseball practices of her boyfriend," Riley informed him, twisting off the lid and taking a drink.
"I think I did hear that somewhere, aren't you supposed to wear his jersey, too?"
"I don't think they wear jerseys in baseball and if they did Maya and I would have to split it in half," Riley replied, kicking her feet up onto the coffee table.
"I'm pretty sure I'm missing something here," Josh said, taking the water bottle out of her hands and taking a sip.
"I forget that you haven't been around since this whole love triangle started," Riley admitted, twisting the cap around in her hands.
"Love triangle? That sounds melodramatic," Josh offered, though Riley could tell that he was more interested then he was letting on, "The cowboy likes you and Maya?"
"Supposedly," Riley replied, fixating on her knees.
"So, what are you going to do about it?" Josh pressed, taking another drink from the bottle.
"At the moment, nothing. We don't want to ruin our friendship, so we're trying to keep things even until we can come up with the right solution," Riley admitted, unable to force any feeling into her voice.
"Hence the torn in half jersey?" Josh clarified, his voice filled with sympathy.
"Hence the torn in half everything," Riley clarified, taking the water bottle out of his hands and drinking the last of the water in the bottle.
"You want me to beat him up for you?" Josh suggested and a smile pulled at Riley's face.
"No, but thanks for offering."
"How are your classes going?" Josh changed the subject.
"Not nearly as much improvement as I was hoping for," Riley admitted, leaning her head back and staring up at the ceiling.
"You want to know what's been working for me lately?" Josh asked, reaching down to the backpack that he had set at the foot of the couch.
"What?"
"Flashcards," he replied, holding out a stack of blank index cards.
Riley walked down the hallway, flipping through the flashcards that she held in her hand and occasionally glancing up to ensure that she wasn't about to run into someone or fall down any stairs. She knew that she wasn't the most coordinated person without any distractions and this was really tempting fate, but she was trying to utilize her time.
"Hey," Lucas grabbed her arms, before she could run straight into him.
"Lucas," Riley offered, flipping a card over to check and see if she had the correct answer.
"You seem…. distracted," he didn't release her arms and Riley, finally, looked up to meet his gaze.
"I have a Spanish test, today," she revealed, trying not to let her nerves show.
"Oh, are you worried about it?" Lucas questioned, his eyes searching her face, as Riley looked at him in confusion.
"No, not really. I actually think that I have it this time," Riley admitted, tucking the flashcards into the back pocket of her jeans and forcing Lucas to drop his hands.
"You know who does well in Spanish class?" Lucas asked.
"Maya," Riley suggested, wondering what had brought on this weird conversation. They hadn't really said much to each other lately and she couldn't shake off the feeling that something was off with him.
"Zay," Lucas corrected.
"I didn't know that," Riley admitted, glancing around the hallway to see if any of their other friends were in sight.
"He left early, yesterday," Lucas informed her, his eyes still fixated on her face.
"Oh," she offered, a pit settling into her stomach at the thought of Lucas and Maya being there alone together.
"Oh," Lucas repeated, something darkening in his eyes.
"What's going on?" Zay questioned, looking between the two of them, as Maya and Zay came to a stop by where they had been talking.
"Lucas was just telling me how good you are at Spanish," Riley offered, relieved to get away from the intensity of Lucas's gaze.
"But I'm taking French," he informed them.
"I'll bet you are," Lucas snapped, before he turned around and left the three of them staring after him in the middle of the hallway.
"What was that about?" Zay asked, his face contorted with confusion.
"I don't know," Riley admitted, unable to tear her eyes away from the corner that Lucas had just disappeared around.
Her bag, suddenly, felt heavier and she couldn't help glancing back to see if Lucas was going to make a reappearance. Everything had been weird lately and they all had been on edge, but she'd hoped that the outbursts were behind them.
"Whatever's upsetting Lucas, he'll get over it. Don't let his weird moods ruin your day, okay?"
"Thanks," Riley offered, squeezing his hand, as she walked in the direction of her class.
Lucas is already seated at their usual table; when she makes her way into the lunchroom and sinks down across from him. He's pushing the mashed potatoes around on his plate, letting the gravy flow out and saturate his roll.
"Have I done something to upset you?" Riley asked, pulling the lunch that she'd packed that morning out of her bag.
"I don't know, have you?" he turned his gaze onto her and she could see the barely contained anger that reflected back at her from his eyes.
"If I did something, you're going to have to tell me. But, whatever it is, I'm sorry," she offered, automatically leaning back.
"Are you coming to watch our practice after school today?" Some of the anger drained from his eyes, though a weariness remained.
Riley glanced up, as Maya set her lunch down and took a seat at the table. Zay was right behind her and he shared a look with Lucas, before rounding the table and take the spot across from the blonde.
"I don't know. Maya, are we going to Lucas's practice after school today?" Riley continued on, as if nothing had happened.
"I can't. Art club is helping paint banners for homecoming," Maya revealed, unfolding her napkin.
"Well, I guess that settles that."
"I don't think it does," Lucas disagreed, throwing down his fork, "Are you doing something after school today, Riley?"
"My homework," she offered, knowing that Lucas was just waiting for the right words to set him off.
"Which you did in the bleachers, yesterday," he reminded her.
"Technically, I got the time with Lucas when we went for smoothies. So, if you want to go watch Lucas practice, we can call it even," Maya added.
"Do you want me to come and watch you?" Riley turned her attention back to Lucas, feeling something twist inside of her chest. She's not sure that it's the same thing watching Lucas in the bleachers, verses flirting with him, in a booth, while eating a cold semi-solid, but she'd like to keep the tenuous peace that they've been managing to hold.
"Yeah, I would," Lucas sighed, the intensity of his gaze trying to tell her something that his words aren't.
"Then, I'll be there," Riley agreed; shoving her uneaten lunch back into her bag and standing up.
"Where are you going?" Maya's head snapped up in surprise.
"I'm going to go get some studying done in the library. I'll talk to you later," Riley squeezed Maya's shoulder and gave Lucas a half-smile, before darting out the door.
She finds Lucas waiting outside of her last class of the day; his gym bag slung over one shoulder and a jacket hanging off of one arm.
"Hey," he greeted her; falling into step beside her, as she walked towards her locker.
"I thought I was meeting you at your practice," she turned a corner and started looking at the numbers to determine which one was hers.
"I've decided to skip it," Lucas informed her and she abruptly stopped. He made it another two steps before he realized that he'd lost her and turned around to face her.
"You can't just skip your baseball practice. What will your coaches say?" Riley pointed out.
"I guess, I'll find out next practice," he offered and she folded her arms across her chest.
"What is going on with you, today?" Riley demanded, taking a step towards him and trying to ignore the people that were moving passed them.
"What's going on with me? You're the one who's been wearing Zay jacket, holding his hand in the halls, and refusing to spend time with me," Lucas's hands bunched into fists and she felt her mouth drop open in shock.
"He offered me his jacket because I was cold, I don't think I've ever held his hand in the halls, and I told you why I couldn't go for smoothies, yesterday," she refuted his claims.
"I know, Zay explained everything to me, but can you see how I got the wrong idea? You and I have been on completely different pages, for a long time, now, and I hate it."
"I hate it, too, but there's not a lot we can do about, right now," Riley reminded him, her arms wrapping around herself.
"I still get this afternoon, right?" he pressed. And, she's surprised by the abrupt shift in conversation.
"What?"
"We agreed at lunch that since Maya got the time, yesterday; I get you this afternoon," he reminded her and she can't help wondering when her life started resembling a time-share condo's.
"When I was going to be sitting in the stands watching you," Riley pointed out, "You just told me that you're not going to practice."
"Because I'm spending the afternoon with you," he informed her, wrapping an arm around her to guide her the rest of the way to her locker.
"I have a lot of studying to do," she sighed; putting in her combination and pulling the door open.
"Come on, Riley. Just a couple of hours?" he pressed, his eyes taking on that tint that she'd never been good at saying no to.
He doesn't take her to Topanga's, like she's expecting, but, instead, leads her through the familiar doors of the public library and to a table in the back corner. She finds it comforting how little this one place has changed, when everything else in her life no longer resembles anything, familiar.
"You said you wanted to work on your homework," he reminded her, pulling out a chair and gesturing for her to sit down, "Now, we can do it together."
"Okay," she agreed, taking her seat and wishing that her heart didn't skip a beat, when he chose to sit down right next to her.
She, at least, has the comfort of knowing that he's not doing the exact same thing he'd done with Maya the day before, but there's a part of her that worries about what he must be evening up; if he's skipped his practice and is taking her back to a place of their shared history.
"How did your Spanish test go?" Lucas questioned, pulling out a textbook and spiralbound notebook from his bag.
"I don't know. I was a little distracted," she reminded him, making no move to do the same.
"I'm sorry for the way that I blew up at you this morning. I'm just having a hard time trying to keep all of my feelings in check," Lucas confessed, his nails drumming out a beat against the table, as he refused to look at her.
"What feelings would those be?" Riley can't help herself from asking.
"Frustration, mostly, for the situation that we're in. I feel like there's no way that I can keep both Maya and you happy and I really don't want to hurt either of you. But, that doesn't mean that you're not hurting," his eyes darted up to hers and she wished that she could reach out and take his hand, "That all of us aren't hurting."
"So, what do you want to do?"
"I don't know, yet. I wish I did. I wish we could come up with the right solution for how to deal with things or any other way to deal with things because this way really isn't working," Lucas groaned; his tapping increasing with his agitation, "But, for now, this is what we've got, right?"
"Yeah," she stared down at the table; her eyes tracing the pattern of the wood, "We'll still be friends, won't we? We'll still be able to sit down and talk like this? Whatever way all of this ends."
"I hope so," he reached out, one of his hands landing on hers, "I don't want a life without you in it."
"Yeah, me either," she agreed; spreading out her fingers, so that his could settle into the space. On some level it feels wrong, but it barely counts as handholding and when she thinks of the blush on Lucas's face from Maya's words the day before, she can't help thinking that maybe taking this is somewhat justified.
"Can I ask you something?" he changed the subject and she nodded once, "Were you really going home to do your laundry, yesterday?"
"I was meeting Josh," Riley admitted, "He's been tutoring me."
"You're really stressed out about all of this school stuff, aren't you?"
"I can't fail," Riley sighed, "I don't want to be loser."
"You're not a loser, Riley and I never should have called you one," Lucas argued, "And you're not a failure. I've seen how hard you've been working and there's no way that your hard work won't pay off."
"I hope it does," Riley offered, her eyes falling to their clasped hands.
"I hope you're still able to hope for other things, too," his words are casual, but his thumb stroking along the side of her hand gives her no doubts about what he's implying.
"Always," she promises him and a smile spreads across his face.
Her heart feels like it just might beat out of her chest, as she unlocks the door and lets herself into her home.
"Well?" Josh questions, from where he's sprawled out on her couch.
"I don't know. I couldn't look at it," Riley admitted, setting her bag onto the coffee table and pulling out the results of her test. She closes her eyes tightly and takes several deep breaths, before turning the paper over in her hands.
"It's an A," Riley offers in shock, collapsing into the seat next to him.
"Good job, Riles. I'm proud of you," Josh offers, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her into his side.
She takes several steadying breaths and blinks away the tears that have suddenly filled her eyes, overwhelmed by the idea that things are actually improving.
"Thank you. I couldn't have done this without you."
"Hey, I just provided some studying methods. The learning is all on you," Josh disagreed.
"Well, I appreciate all of your help, anyway," Riley offered, setting the paper into her lap, "I'm glad that you're here."
"Yeah, I am, too," he agreed, bumping his knee against hers.
It isn't until she's tucked in that night, that her phone lights up with a text. She unlocks it and isn't entirely surprised to find that it's from Lucas:
You're a lot more than a grade, Riley. Don't ever forget that.
For the first time, in a long time, she gets eight full hours of sleep.
This has been sitting on my computer forever and I've decided that it was time to finish up the last chunk of it and get it posted. I, originally, was looking to do a longer story following Riley and Josh's friendship growing through him helping her out, but my ideas kind of fizzled out, so this is my attempt at making it a coherent one-shot. I started it before I had seen Girl Meets Bear, which is why it doesn't entirely fit into canon with Josh hanging out at the apartment at this time. But, hopefully, you'll forgive me.
Thanks for reading and I would love it if you would let me know what you think!