Hello again! So just what exactly is Brian doing at the street race, well let's find out.

Brian Chapter Four

By Rosa241

Gazing round at the mess of people standing around here I can't help but sigh. This isn't how I pictured my life. Sure I have a clean record now but that's all I have. The one thing I don't have, the one thing I'll never have is…

Don't go there Brian, not now, not tonight…

This is supposed to be a happy night. We're meant to be celebrating, I can't do that if I let my mind drift to him. Just tonight I need to not think about him, to not think about the war raging inside of me. Shaking my head I force myself to go over recent events.

It's been two and a half years since everything happened and so much has changed. Back then I'd never have imagined sacrificing everything for those people – I refuse to entertain the idea of family, I just can't. Back then I couldn't have even begun to foresee the events that would shape my life. Getting fired, ending up on the street racing circuit, having the FBI beg for my help, finding Rome again…

When Rome and I took down Verone I figured we'd go our separate ways but to my complete relief he didn't. My entire body sagged in relief when he told me he wanted to hang around. Ever since things kicked off with them I've been alone. I've been alone most of my life so I can't say that being alone was something new but after everything that happened I just couldn't do it again. I'd felt so much at home only to have everything ripped away from me in one moment. Being alone again after feeling like I'd found what I've been searching for was hell. Having Rome back wasn't the same, I still didn't have him, but having my best friend back in my life stopped the loneliness from shattering me.

"Oh man not this again!" Romes voice brought me from my head and back onto reality. "I thought you were over that boy!"

"Shut up Rome." Telling him about everything that happened had instantly helped make everything feel so much better. Talking about it helped. Talking about it helped me to make sense of all that was going on inside my head. At least it had at first. Rome seemed to be under the belief that I needed to get laid and move on. Don't get me wrong I know that he's right, I just don't want him to be right.

"Seriously man you have got to get over him already. Let it go." He shakes his head as he hands me the beer.

"I know. I know." For a while we descend into silence. I know that I have to get over him, to move past them, but I just don't want to. Moving past it all means that I have to accept that that's it. It means accepting that I'll never be back with them, that I'll never be back with Vince.

Even thinking his name hurts…

"Listen man I've been thinking. We've got clean records now. As far as the world is concerned I've never been inside and you didn't get fired for aiding and abetting a criminal gang. We can start over." Rolling my eyes I almost want to stop him. "Hear me out man. We can head back home, we can start up that garage we used to talk about so much when we were kids."

"It's not that I don't want to Rome, you know I'd love to go back home but…" He sighs heavily as he slides off the bonnet of the car we've been sitting on. Shaking his head he gives me such a disappointed look that I almost duck my head in shame.

"You don't want to go back cause it reminds you too much of your boy. Its been what? Two and a half years? Man you need to grow up and let it go. It ain't going to happen so get over it." We've had this argument so many times but I can still feel the familiar anger that bursts through me at his words.

"No, you know what Rome you're the one that needs to drop it. I can't just switch off my feelings man, life doesn't work that way. God I wish it did! I wish I didn't have to feel like this but I don't know what to do anymore. I can't stop the way that I feel. I just can't." I can feel the sympathy radiating off of him but I know that there's anger hiding beneath him. He just doesn't understand.

"It's like you ain't even trying man. All you do is think about him, every second of the damn day I can see you thinking about him. Thinking about them. I can garuntee that Vince ain't thinking about you Brian. He's probably got a girl wrapped around him right now."

The thought of that stings more than anything else in the world. Just thinking about him with someone else sends such pain through me that I actually think my heart might be breaking.

"Seriously Rome just let it go alright!" A few eyes turn towards us as my yelling catches their attention. He shakes his head but says nothing more, evidentially realising that he's said more than enough. Glaring at him for a minute I finally turn my back. This was supposed to be a happy night. We were meant to be talking about the future, making plans, not arguing about my past.

Staring out into the crowd I take a minute to stare at the faces passing me by. Watching all these people just hanging around, not a care in the world, calms me slightly. It's now as I'm watching the crowd that one familiar face catches my eye. It doesn't matter how long I live I'll never forget those eyes, that face…him.

"Vince?" For a moment the world stops turning, for a moment my heart stops beating, for a moment everything falls into place. Almost as soon as our eyes meet the moment is over. He turns round so quickly and heads off in the other direction before I can even blink.

He's here.

He walked away.

But he's here.

He's okay.

He's here.

"You have got a lot of explaining to do blondie!" Doms familiar growl breaks me out of my internal cycle and sets my body into motion.

"Vince! Wait!" He makes no move to stop and I make to go after him before a strong hand takes hold of me.

"You're going nowhere." He hauls me to the side, ignoring Rome's angry shouting, his grip on my upper arm never wavering. "You've got a lot of explaining to do. How the hell could you do that to him?"

"You think I wanted that! You think I actually wanted to have him hate me? I'd have given anything to have a way out of that situation but there wasn't any. And you know what, if I hadn't have broke my cover then Vince would have died so you know what? Go to hell." I try to break his grip, go after the man whilst I still can but he refuses to let go.

"Seriously? That's all you've got to say? After what you've done to him that's all you've got to say." Glaring into the eyes of the man I risked my career to protect I can feel all the anger from the past two years come screaming up.

"I'm not the one who left! You're the ones who took off! He's the one who left me!" For a moment it looks like he's going to say something but I cut him off. "No, no you don't get to stand here and tell me that I'm the one who broke his heart. He took off and left me, never even gave me a chance to explain anything, Christ he could have been dead for all I know! Do you think that was easy? Do you honestly think that I just forgot how I felt!?"

"You still love him?" It comes out as a question and my mouth goes completely dry. In the last two years I've tried so hard not to think those words. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Rome gazing between the two of us with a confused expression. Forcing my attention back onto Dom I finally open my mouth and say the words that have haunted me all this time.

"Yes. I still love him." His eyes widen in a way that I'd find comical if it weren't for the seriousness of the situation.

"Then why didn't you come?" Confusion reigns down on me as he speaks.

"What are you talking about? Come where? I didn't know where you were Dom! Don't you think I would have been there in an instant if I knew where you were!" He says nothing for a while but eventually the look on his face softens and something akin to realisation passes over his face.

"Brian when was the last time you spoke to Mia?" Mia? What the hell?

"Um…the day that…the day that Jesse died. That's the last time I saw her." He stares at me for so long that I almost turn and walk away but something keeps me here. When, after a few minutes, he says nothing I break the silence. "Dom, what's going on?"

Oooh, what exactly is going on? What did Mia do? Or more importantly, what didn't she do? Keep reading and you'll find out.