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I knew my father would not agree with me leaving the house at all, but I needed to talk to my mother, not in a stupid letter, but face to face. I grabbed the phone book and looked her up. I wasn't really afraid of being beat up or anything, it wouldn't matter anyway since I couldn't look worse than I did. I grabbed my coat out of my closet and climbed out the window. This is not hard to do, believe me, I had to make sure nobody was outside before I did this. As soon as I hit the ground I went off running until I got to the corner of the street. Kendie and my dad wouldn't see me now anyway. It was a long walk, but I didn't care. I had all this built up energy that I would use to get to my mothers and to talk to her. I wouldn't lose my nerve. I got there a while later and knocked on her door. Johnny answered and nearly choked on the bagel he was eating.

"Faye what are you doing here? Your dads going to be pissed" he whispered.

"I have to talk to her" I said. He stared at me for a while and then brought me in. He pointed to the couch and I sat. He sat in front of me.

"You shouldn't be here Faye you're going to get in trouble" he said.

"Yeah, in trouble, I'm not really worried about that one Johnny" I said. My mother walked in the room and froze, staring at me. It was quiet for a really long time.

"Johnny would you please um, well I don't know find something else to do" she said. Johnny nodded, got up, and left the room. My mother sat in a chair.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I have to talk to you mom, I didn't think it was going to be a problem since I think I have the right" I told her. Her attitude towards me being there wasn't making matters any better.

"I didn't mean that disrespectfully Faye, your father is going to be worried sick, it's not fair to do that to him" she said.

"Oh it's not fair for me to leave to talk to you after eleven years but it's fair for you to up and leave him and not come back?" I asked, I couldn't control my temper.

"Faye it wasn't like that, I had Johnny to take care of" she said quietly.

"And you couldn't have taken care of him at our house, with us, you couldn't have just stayed?" I asked.

"No, Faye, It's so much more complicated than that. Johnny was your dads best friend, and I didn't want him to know, because it was a mistake, kind of, not that my Johnny was a mistake, but Johnny and I well we were kind of not in the right, we were both pretty upset about things and we ended up just getting together, but it wasn't Johnny that I wanted to be with Faye it was your father, and he wouldn't talk to me if he had known I had slept with his best friend" my mother said. She looked so sad I couldn't stay mad at her.

"Mom, did you even think about Kendie and me, about how it would affect us? We're you're kids too mom, and I just want to know why" I said quietly. She stared at me.

"I thought about you and Kendie, Faye, I thought about it for a month, debating what I should do, I was young, and stupid, and I didn't know what to do. I've always run away from my problems, my fears. I wanted so badly to just shout it out to your father about Johnny, weather he would be mad or not, just to keep you two from feeling any pain. It wasn't easy, Faye, and I wanted to visit you guys so bad, but your father was mad, and Kendie was mad even at four. I knew that, he's still mad at me" she said, looking at her hands that she was twisting in her lap.

"Dad knows about Johnny now though, and you can come see us. I'll talk to Kendie. He thinks you just left us for no reason, actually, now he knows you left us to take care of Johnny. He's just beginning to understand. Mom, do you realize if you were there Kendie and I wouldn't get into so much trouble. I'm practically the worst girl in my school and Kendie, well, he'd beat up every guy on the planet if you gave him a chance, weather he hated them or not. It's not fair for us to just have to deal with it while you live your life over here, we get that you're rich mom and you probably are really happy over here and really used to it. But I want a relationship with my PARENTS not just my FATHER and you're making it sound impossible. I want to know, do you really care, or are you just going to lie you're whole life? I don't know how long Kendie and I can hold out before we do something stupid, and it's because you won't come around and show us the affection children deserve from their mother. Think about that" I said and walked out the door.

The talk with my mother didn't go the way I planned it, which sucked. I wanted her to sit down with me and promise me the world, even if it was only for a few days. Instead she had stuck with her master plan of not being a mother to Kendie and I. I hoped she was in there, crying her eyes out and feeling sorry. Even if that sounded mean. She deserved to be the one abandoned for once, the one staying up everynight for God knows how long trying to stop the tears and wondering "what if.." She deserved to be the in pain, the one who couldn't control her emotions anymore and wanted to just give up on life.

She deserved hell.

And if she didn't change her ways it would be exactly what she got.

The walk home was long, and boring, and I knew when I got home my dad and Kendie would be waiting to yell at me and try to get it out of me. They would try to force me to tell them where I was, what I was doing there, and why I went. I didn't really care, they could nag and nag and I still wouldn't tell them. It was my choice, not theirs, and I needed to make choices for myself.

I had let my feelings go, in a way I had. I had told my mother how it was with us, and everything she had done to us, and that was my goal. I was happy to have done that. I walked in the front door and instead of being bombarded with questions my dad sat quietly on the couch.

"I know where you went Faye" he said. I rolled my eyes. Great, I'm grounded.

"What'd she say?" he asked. I was surprised, he actually cared about what my mother said.

"Nothing" I told him and went upstairs, where I found Kendie sitting on my bed staring at a picture of him, my mom, and me. One my father had taken.

"Um, Kendie" I said. He set the picture down and got up.

"Don't you ever leave again, you got it" he said. He wasn't mad, he was scared.

"Why?" I asked, stupid question to ask but I didnt care.

"That side of town is dangerous, you could have gotten jumped and nobody would've been there to help you Faye. Don't go over there by yourself anymore" he said. I nodded.

It was strange. My dad wasn't mad, he was only curious about my mother and Kendie wasn't mad, he was scared. It wasn't right.

I hoped they didn't think I was too young to understand, thats the way I had been treated my whole life.

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Wow, It's sort of confusing. This chapter was basically about Faye talking to her mom and trying to get her mom to realize everything she's went through. Basically, everything she's went through and Kendie's went through and her dad's gone through. If that confused any of you

Here's the list of reviewers I promised

maddie miquel

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babygurl33

ANGELMEGAN

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Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Keep it up I love them.