They had been riding for hours, at least that's what it felt like for Toph, rattling helplessly in the saddle. Ostrich-horses were not only stinky, they were also hopelessly uncomfortable. Even worse than the Avatar's annoying fur-ball.

The morose silence of his companion didn't exactly help the situation: every conversation initiated by Toph earned only terse, monosyllabic grunts. It was unbearably dull. Without any distraction and her feet deprived of sight, Toph was left alone with her thoughts - and that was currently an uncomfortable place. Disconnected from her element, she didn't feel quite so solid and unshakeable. Doubt started to seep in. Maybe this was a bad idea.

True, Blue didn't complain as much as Katara did, but he was clearly the inferior cook. And that was saying something, considering Sugar Queen's meals were not the height of culinary enjoyment either. Bland, but at least they were edible. Plus, Sokka was at least quite funny and tried to make the travel enjoyable with his jokes. And for Toph's benefit, he was doing a running commentary on the sights. She missed the constant chatter, the easy laughter of the group. Also, if she was honest with herself, it was flattering to be chosen as the Avatar's teacher.

Maybe she acted a bit too hastily to leave them at the first argument. She was sure that they would come back for her. But maybe they already found someone else to teach Aang. Maybe despite all the talk of friendship, she was simply replaceable.

The ostrich-horse came to a sudden halt, which made Toph almost fly out of the saddle head-first. Luckily, Blue caught her. At least he had good reflexes, but it didn't make up for the miserable company.

"Watch where you are going. Are you blind?" Toph couldn't help herself.

The insufferable crab didn't even react to her joke.

"We have a problem," he announced grimly. He jumped off the saddle, leaving Toph even more disoriented. W hat an inconsiderate jerk. Did he not realize how blind she felt up here? Her fists closed tightly around the animal's fur, hoping it would not make a sudden movement.

"The mountain pass is blocked."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Looks like an avalanche." Sound of feet pattering against the ground as Blue observed the situation. "There is no way around the rocks. We have to loop back the way we came and find a different path."

Well, that didn't sound like something to get your pants in a bunch about.

Toph shrugged. "Or we could just make our own path."

"These are pretty big rocks, Toph." There was definitely more than a hint of skepticism in his voice. She couldn't let that slide.

"Hey, did you not hear me say that I'm the greatest earthbender? Get me off here right now," she ordered.

"Be my guest," strong arms lifted her effortlessly. Toph's toes curled against the sweet, oh so sweet dirt , filling her with sensations.

"Oh, that's better. Let me take a look," Toph sighed happily as she surveyed their surroundings wiggling her toes, placing her palm flat on the earth. Blue wasn't lying, the path was blocked by enormous boulders - a fact that cheered her up considerably. This was exactly what she needed. After hours of riding, it was time to stretch her limbs and do something useful.

She cracked her knuckles, straightened her shoulders and put her foot down firmly on the ground. The vibrations of the earth reached inside her bones. She was a rock and these boulders were no match to the power inside her. "Watch this," she said confidently. She lowered herself in a firm squat her arms in front of her and pushed them out to the sides. The rock opened at her command easily, like the shell of a coconut splitting into two.

"I didn't know you could do that with such a big rock," Blue noted. Toph smiled at the awe apparent in his voice. He made the same rookie mistake all non-benders and even some benders did; thinking that bending had anything to do with physical power.

"Big rock, small rock - it's all the same. It's not about size. It's about showing the rock the stuff you are made of. They are tough, but I'm tougher. Just tackle the thing head on." Toph demonstrated smashing the next - admittedly a bit smaller - rock with her head.

"Neat," he said, trying to sound less impressed than he was, but it wasn't fooling anyone. At least not Toph. "But we have a whole bunch of these boulders. You'll get tired eventually."

"Tired of earthbending?" exclaimed Toph, now getting really offended. This guy clearly needed more of a demonstration. "Do you ever get tired of breathing, Blue?"

"I suppose not," he admitted as he watched Toph working her way through the boulders, creating a new path. When the rumbling of the rocks stopped for a moment he added quietly. "The Avatar is lucky to have you as a teacher."

"Damn straight, he would be ," Toph grinned pleased with the praise. It was like a salve for her confidence shaken by a day's worth of bouncing helplessly in the saddle.

"Maybe you should find him," Blue suggested, echoing the thoughts that had been rattling in her head all day.

Toph was considerably cheered by this suggestion before she quickly reminded herself that it was the group that did her wrong not the other way around. Maybe she shouldn't seem so eager. It would give them ideas.

"I'm telling you what. If he comes back with an apology, I'll consider taking him back as a student," she said magnanimously. She really hoped they would come back soon.

"But there is a war going on. Can you afford to wait that long?" Blue asked, his heart beating faster. Everyone was so twisted up about the stupid war.

"The war is not my problem," she shrugged. She had more important things to worry about than some stupid war, over some old stuff. It was irrelevant to her.

"Really?" He sounded truly shocked. The same way Aang and the Water Tribe siblings had when she told them the same.

"Look. All I care about is doing what I'm good at. And I'm really good at this," Toph motioned to the earth around her. "But if we bump into the Avatar, I'll consider it."

"Fair enough," he said. "The road is clear now, there should be some farms just beyond this hill."

He helped her into the saddle and they were bumping again to the rhythm of the steps of the ostrich-horse. Toph wondered if the village had some decent food. She was definitely getting hungry. Dumplings would be good right now. Clearing those boulders took considerable effort.

She almost dozed off, when a sudden jolt made her fully aware again.

"Something is wrong," Blue said, his voice vibrating with tension.

Toph focused on her surroundings, trying to locate the source of his nervousness. She smelled the smoke before they got close enough to hear the screaming. Blue spurred the ostrich-horse into a gallop, which made the shaking even more unbearable. The chaos of smells and screams got louder until the animal came to a halt.

"What happened here?" Blue jumped off the saddle, helping Toph to the ground.

"Fire Nation soldiers." a woman cried in desperation. She knelt on the ground, holding onto two small kids, frightened out of their minds, their little hearts beating like trapped birds. "They raided our farm and set it on fire. They said it was in revenge for what the Blue Spirit took from them. My baby… my baby is inside."

Toph's heart sank. She felt Blue go rigid next to her as the realization hit him too. Fire Nation soldiers... The Blue Spirit… They did this. What seemed like a good fun this morning turned into someone else's nightmare.

Toph could feel the heat of the blaze under her feet, as the earth was crying in rhythm with the woman's wailing. She sounded like a mortally wounded animal. "My baby…"

"I'll get your baby out," Blue's voice was raw.

The idiot . He just couldn't help himself, could he?

"No…" Toph wanted to say, but before the words got out, he ran towards the burning house. Toph followed the fading vibration of his footsteps, until they were engulfed by the roaring fire and she couldn't sense him anymore.

-0-

Zuko cursed silently as they left the mountain pass behind. Toph was more stubborn than an entire flock of ostrich-horses. How was he supposed to talk her into re-joining the Avatar? And more importantly, even if he could, what was he going to do exactly? He was already unable to match the Avatar and his annoying waterbender on a good day. Add Earthquake-brat to the mix, and Zuko didn't stand a chance. He needed a new plan and fast, because the village was close and who knew what she was going to decide once they got there.

His circling thoughts were disrupted by the alarm-bells ringing in his brain telling him something was wrong. His stomach squeezed with dread, his skin prickled as he surveyed the quiet hillside. Then he knew, suddenly. He sensed the fire before he smelled the smoke. It was not the soothing warmth of a campfire, it was violent, wild, out of control.

"Something is wrong." He kicked the sides of the ostrich-horse, and as they got to the top of the hill, he could see the farmhouse in flames.

The woman outside wailed inconsolably as she explained that Fire Nation soldiers attacked them and set the house on fire.

Liar , Zuko wanted to yell at the woman - because who does this? What kind of people burn the homes of women and children? But something deep inside him, that tiny voice that spoke up so foolishly against sacrificing new recruits, whispered that the woman was telling the truth. After all, Zuko had seen it with his own eyes - the burns on Song's legs, the abandoned villages, the scars of destruction on the fields. Your people, that's who.

Did father know? Of course. Father is Fire Lord. He knows everything, the tiny voice continued mercilessly. Zuko wanted nothing more than for that stupid child to shut up. They were at war, sacrifices had to be made. It was...it had to be for the greater good.

Zuko wanted to turn around and ride away, forgetting this place - the flames, the misery, the woman with the horrible sobs, the children with their frightened, tear-streaked and snot-stained faces. He shouldn't, he couldn't be a part of this. This wasn't his country, these weren't his people, this wasn't his fight.

But of course, he couldn't walk away. Because this was his own damn fault. Again. If he hadn't robbed the soldiers... Actions have consequences, Nephew, Iroh raised a finger somewhere in his mind, ready to launch into a lecture. Not now, Uncle, Zuko brushed the image aside. He needed to focus. The woman's wailing floated back into his consciousness; something about a baby, trapped inside the house. A life to be consumed by a fire Zuko started.

His body made the decision before his mind had a chance to point out that only bad things happened when he tried to save anyone. He ran towards the house and jumped through the window into the brightly burning inferno. The heat was almost unbearable, even for a firebender.

The smoke made his eyes water, and he felt the blind terror rise inside him, like in those days after the Agni kai, of which nobody was ever allowed to speak of again , when even the tiny light of a candle made him throw up in panic.

Control, Prince Zuko. It all comes from the breath. Don't fear the fire, don't try to dominate it. Just make it breathe with you. That's right, Nephew… just like that, let it be your ally. Zuko closed his eyes, thinking of his candle meditation exercises. Breathe. In. Out. The flames grew smaller, the overwhelming heat abated a bit.

Zuko stepped forward, deeper into the house. The way the wooden beams were cracking, it was clear he didn't have much time. He had to do it fast.

Zuzu, you are pathetic. Still working on heat control? I could do that perfectly by the time I was seven. You'll never catch up. The flames flared up again, licking at Zuko's skin. Go away, Azula. If he just focused on breathing, he could do this.

He reached the kitchen. The baby was crying somewhere behind it. Still alive. Just a few more steps. Breathe. In. Out. Keep focusing.

Prince Zuko. How many set are you behind your sister? - Ten, Father. I will work harder. - How many? - Fourteen. - You lost again. - I'm sorry, Father. I'll work harder.

The voices in his head got louder, breaking the tenuous control he had. The fire roared, pushing him violently back across the room. He fell to his knees. It was hopeless, he couldn't do this. He was too weak.

Zuko, my son, remember who you are. Someone who never gives up.

Zuzu, is this how you die? That's pitiful even for you.

Nephew, your basics, your greatest weapons. It all comes from the breath.

Rise, Prince Zuko. Rise and fight.

Zuko looked up at the enormous flames, blocking his way to the baby crying now louder behind the fiery curtain. They were too big.

Big rock, little rock. Big flame, little flame. That's just an excuse. What matters is the stuff you are made of. Head on, is how I do it.

Zuko blinked in surprise. He didn't expect firebending advice from an earthbender in his head. But it wasn't like he had anything to lose. If a tiny, blind girl could move a mountainside, the Crown Prince (well, former) of the Fire Nation had to be able to deal with a simple house fire.

He rose to his feet and glared at the flames. It was just an ordinary fire, lit by some soldiers out of spite. Zuko was forged from the fire of dragons, it burned inside him. He was born to do this. He had to fix this; for the child, for his honor. This was his duty. He took a deep breath, rooted his feet like he saw Toph do it and raised his arms to the side. The curtain of fire opened obediently, just like the rocks did for Toph.

Zuko stepped between walls of flame towering on both sides. He grabbed the baby and jumped through the window of the room, landing carefully outside.

Dazed still, he barely registered the punch Toph greeted him with. "Don't run off like that, you idiot."

The mother grabbed the child out of his arms, holding the baby to her heart. "Ji, my treasure, you are all right. Mommy's got you now," she cried in relief.

Finally, she raised her eyes to Zuko. "I don't know how to thank everything you have done for us. You are a hero."

Who knew that a heartfelt gratitude could feel worse than a thousand curses. Zuko turned away, feeling like an impostor.

"What are you going to do now?" Toph asked the woman.

"My sister lives not far. We'll go there with the children," she replied, tying the baby on her back and holding her older children by the hand. "We lost everything, but as long as we have each other, we can survive anything."

The children stopped crying, they looked at their mother with hope in their eyes, like she was the rock they could rely on. Looking at the family, Zuko felt his own chest tightening again. His mother had been like this once.

"Here, take this," Zuko gave her the bag of rice and chest filled with coins. "It'll help you on the way."

The woman's eyes widened. "You've already done far too much for us."

Not nearly enough , thought Zuko as he helped Toph into the saddle.

They waved good-bye to the family and rode on towards the village in complete silence. Zuko felt exhausted, his mind replaying on endless loop the fire, the tears, the destruction. Growing up, he was taught that the war was a noble pursuit of a great nation. Fighting was honor and glory. The purpose was to bring on an era of unprecedented prosperity and progress for everyone. But walking the Earth Kingdom, he did not see any of that; he saw violence, bullies, poverty. He saw orphans and broken families.

He couldn't bear this anymore - he had to go home. Back to the palace, where the war meant troops in shiny new uniforms marching off to battle proudly, eager to serve their country. It meant flags flying high in the wind. It was the sound of horns announcing another victory. But even if he went home, could he ever forget what it looked like?

It was getting dark and the village was still nowhere in sight. They lost too many hours with the farm incident. Zuko didn't want to get lost in the wilderness. He pulled on the reins of the ostrich-horse. "We'll make camp."

After unloading their bags, he handed over a few pieces of dried meat to Toph, who was lounging around like nothing could shake her. Zuko envied that.

"Did you have to give her all of our rice?" she complained chewing with her mouth full.

"I thought you hated my rice. Anyways, we'll get more." Even though he had no idea how. Robbing was a terrible idea, obviously.

Uncle appeared again in his mind, looking at him silently. That was the only way he ever said I told you so . Sometimes Zuko wished he would yell and bang his fists - that would be easier than the silence.

"You did good there, Blue. Saving that kid," Toph said as she stuffed another piece of meat in her mouth.

"I had to fix it." There was no other choice.

"Have you seen anything like this before?" her voice was suddenly quieter, more serious.

Zuko thought of the skeletons he had seen in the air temples. He remembered the lifeless bodies floating in the icy water of the North Pole. "I've seen much worse."

Toph nodded solemnly. "I think it's a good idea to find the Avatar."

This was exactly what Zuko was waiting for, and yet now that she said it, he almost felt disappointment. "Then we'll start looking tomorrow."

Toph looked relieved. She swallowed the last piece of her meat. "And you are right, we can just steal some more food tomorrow."

"No. No more stealing," Zuko replied forcefully.

"Fine. You are right," she admitted and Zuko almost mis-swallowed his meat in surprise. It was the first time she ever conceded a point. "There are other ways to get money."

Zuko did not like the grin on her face. Not one bit. It screamed trouble.

"Like what?" he asked suspiciously.

"I have plans," she shrugged and went on to pick her toes.

"I can't wait." Zuko said flatly. The mention of plans made him think about how he did not have any on his own regarding the Avatar. Maybe he could convince Toph to keep their encounter secret and follow the group from a distance or maybe he could… no, not that ..

"Even if we are out of food, could you at least make some fire?" Toph disrupted his thoughts, shivering in an overly dramatic way.

"Sure," Zuko said without thinking, flicking his wrist instinctively. He froze mid-motion when he realized his mistake, but it was too late. The spark already escaped and a small flame was dancing on the dry twigs. Idiot .

The earthbender went rigid for a beat. Then she turned her face towards him, pale green eyes staring at him, right through him.

Oh, no.

He swallowed. "Toph…" he started hesitantly, but the earth already shook around him, sharp rocks encasing him to the neck, pinning him in place with no chance of moving.

"Who are you?" she asked sharply, pulling the rocks tighter on him.

Shit.