Unthinkable 4

They sat there, looking at one another, Carl was again encircled in Daryl's arms.

'Well, what we gonna do?' Merle looked at him, then his brother. 'We can't let ya go back to him.'

Carl shrugged. 'Dunno. If people find out, they'll be hell to pay. Not sure I can stand them knowin'...the things I did.'

'Carl, it ain't ya fault and people would understand – they'd have to! Ya Dad's lost his mind.' Daryl reassured him. 'He made ya.'

Carl looked down at the ground and Daryl knew from personal experience that he would never really believe that. He'd always blame himself like he did everytime his Dad took his belt to him or put out his cigarettes on his back for stupid reasons. Once he beat him badly because he was nervous and spilled a few drops of his beer when he gave it to him. It wasn't quite the same though. Rick had done a lot worse and he didn't have a big brother to protect him sometimes.

'Can't ya say ya want ya own tent that ya old enough?' Merle suggested.

'He'll never go for that. He'll say that's not safe and he needs to help me look after Judith.'

Daryl shook his head. 'I still can't believe it. Are ya sure it's ya Dad and not someone else? Rick always seemed like such a decent guy...'

'Daryl, shut the fuck up!' Merle hissed at him, glaring at him with furious disbelief that he could be so stupid. 'How can ya ask him that? Of course he ain't got it wrong.'

Carl raised his head. 'Yeah...I could hardly believe it myself first time he threatened my sister and made me do stuff to him. Still think it's just all a bad dream sometimes during the day.'

'Ya not goin' back to him.' Merle lay a hand on his arm. 'Whatever he says.'

But Carl did and there was nothing they could do. Not with him pleading with his eyes at them to keep quiet. They were going to have to do something but they didn't know what. Meanwhile, they would respect his wishes.

Luckily, Judith was back with them that night and his father left him alone. But he knew something had happened – Carl seemed different somehow. His eyes narrowed in suspicion and he took his son by the arm.

'Ya OK, son?'

'What do ya think?' His son hissed back at him, tearing his arm away. 'Don't touch me.'

His father stared at him because he had never fought back before like that. He'd changed.

'Ya didn't tell anyone our little secret, did ya?' He whispered over the sleeping baby, his expression fraught. Even though Judith was too young to understand, he took precautions. Cop-habits die hard.

Carl didn't answer but turned his back on him. He'd carefully avoided Daryl and Merle although they'd tried to get him on his own to talk to him.

….

His father left him alone the next night and the one after that but then he handed Judith back to Carol again. She didn't mind, she liked having the baby. Rick told her that they both needed a break because she'd kept them up again and Carl was exhausted. She took in the the dark semi-circles under the boy's eyes with concern but at least he'd started eating more again.

Carl watched all this with a feeling of dread. His father would want 'taking care of' tonight for sure.

While Rick was distracted by delegating the dinner rota and deciding who was doing what when, he slipped off into the Dixons' tent. He hadn't wanted to arouse his suspicion that maybe he had told them since he'd been hanging around them so much of late and he had to choose his moment carefully.

Daryl was polishing his crossbow while Merle was reading a heavy book. On the psychology of jail inmates and Carl did a doubletake.

'Yeah, I can read, boy!' The older Dixon drawled at him sarcastically. 'What ya doin' here when we tried so many times to talk to ya. Ya OK?'

'I ...I couldn't get away. He asked me the other night if I told anyone.'

Daryl sat up at that. 'Did he touch ya again?'

Carl sank to the canvas floor shakily. 'No, not since we got back but today he gave Judith to Carol to look after and he had that look in his eye. The one that means he's horny.'

Daryl put a comforting arm around his shoulders and he leaned against him amd shuddered.

'Jesus.' Merle sighed and closed his book. 'That's twisted.

'Ya can't let it go on.' Daryl pressed him. 'It ain't right.'

'I don't know what to do. I wish you were my Dad.' He looked up at him from under his long, neglected fringe. Not to leave Merle out, he added 'And ya were my Uncle.'

Merle beamed despite himself and the situation.

'We can confront him for ya, if ya like. We'll do it privately without an audience.' His younger brother suggested.

'No! He's still my Dad whatever he's done. Probably jus' deny it anyway.'

Merle met his brother's eyes. Daryl didn't have any other solution either. It was true – most people in the camp would take the word of an ex-Sheriff over a Dixon's any day even if he was the Deputy. Old prejudices died hard.

It was a fucked up situation to be in. For all of them. The Dixons knew it but they didn't know what to do for the better.

'If he tries somethin', ya can always come here with us. Jus' get out of there, if ya can, ya promise?' Daryl gave him a little shake.

'OK.' Just then they heard Rick bellowing his name. There was an undertone of panic in his voice.

'I better go.' Carl sighed and unzipped the tent.

'Ya remember what I said.' Daryl called to him and he looked around. 'Ya'll always be safe here.'

'Look after yaself.' Merle added.

The teenager didn't reply and turned around and practically ran out of the big three-man tent.

They heard Rick's 'Where have ya been? I was worried 'bout ya. What ya doin' with them again?' Daryl knew that he was shaking him by the arm even though he couldn't see.

'Nothin', Dad.'

Then their sharp ears picked up what he hissed at his son next, 'I told ya to stay away from them. They're busy.'

Carl didn't say anything. He rarely answered his father back in public.

'Fuck you very much.' Merle growled. 'Ya hear that shit?'

'We gotta do somethin'. It's a fuckin' shame...I still can't believe Rick would do that and we're jus' sittin' back doin' nothin'.'

Merle growled his agreement with his brother's opinion. It was very un-Dixon-like to do nothing, wait and watch and consider the best course of action.

….

During dinner, Carl only picked at his food.

'Come on, it's rabbit. Ya favorite.'

'I ain't hungry.' He glared up at his father.

'Well, I am.' Rick smirked back at him and wolfed down his. 'Ya not a kid anymore, I guess ya can make ya own decisions.'

'Too right I can! And I want my own tent!'

People looked at each other and the conversation died down.

'Now, we already spoke about this. Ya too young...and I need ya to help me take care of ya sister. Ya have responsibilities now, son.'

'But ya jus' said I wasn't a kid anymore!'

'Ya still not an adult!'

'What do ya care about Judith? Ya said she might not even be yours...'

There were audible gasps of shock. Andrea covered her mouth and goggled at the scene playing out before them. Many people had heard the rumours that Lori had cheated on him with Shane but it had never been said out loud in the open like this.

'That doesn't mean I don't love her jus' as much as I love you.' His father was infuriatingly calm and unflappable.

'Liar! Ya don't give a shit about her or me!' Not for the first time, Carl kicked his bowl of food over and stormed off. To the woods.

Rick shrugged and let him go, now looking a little flustered as he blushed. 'Kid's at a funny age.'

Carol gaped at him. 'Isn't anyone goin' to go after him? It's dark and there might be Walkers out there.' Although they hadn't seen one come up this far up the mountain since they got there.

'I'll go.' Daryl and Merle said together at the same time and got up.

That got Rick worried. 'No, I better. He's my son, my responsibility. And I'm the one he's pissed at.'

'Ya sure that's a good idea? Maggie frowned. 'Seems like the worst thing to do if he just needs some space.'

The Dixons looked at each other. Both of them badly wanted to confront Rick but they had to hold back for Carl's sake. Watching him put on the concerned father act both had their blood boiling.

'What was all that about?' People were talking as soon as Rick ran off in the direction where Carl was heading and was out of earshot. The boy was walking slowly and he was easy to spot in the twilight with his flashlight. He didn't go anywhere without it – it was one of the rules that they carry theirs on them as soon as it got dark. Until there were no more batteries to be had, that was.

'Can you believe what he said to Rick? If he was my son, I'd paddle his ass black and blue. Then again, Rick don't know if Judith's his but he doesn't treat her any different, as far as we can see.'

'Shut the fuck up, all of ya!' Merle roared. 'Ya don't know shit. Jus' a bunch of stupid sheep baaing for a leader to tell ya what to do. Can't ya see what's happenin' right in front of ya eyes? Rick's been...'

'Merle! Shut up! Now's not the time!' His brother hissed at him and pulled him away.

'The show's over, people!' Daryl eyeballed the circle around the campfire. 'Go back to ya tents while we sort this out.' Most people started to clear away and leave, even though some grumbled and muttered discontently. The younger Dixon had authority as Rick's second-in-command. When he wasn't there, Daryl was the one in charge.

'Who made ya the boss?' A heavy-set man, a recent new-comer who arrived without a family. Or anyone. Not really a surprise.

'Because I'm the Deputy around here. So get ya fat ass back inside.'

Dirk stood up, insulted. 'Who ya callin' fat ass, ya redneck piece of shit?'

Daryl lunged at him but was held back by his brother. 'Leave it. He ain't our priority.'

'I'll be watchin' ya.' Daryl gestured with two fingers jabbing at his eyes and then pointed them at his. He didn' t like the new guy – not one bit. Always had a can in his hand and was as lazy as a bear coming out of his winter sleep. Didn't contribute anything.

…

Carl started walking faster when he heard someone coming after him. He'd hoped it was the Dixon brothers but then he heard his Dad's voice and he got scared.

'Carl! Ya stop right there. Ya ain't in any trouble, son. I'm not angry.' But he was and his son wasn't fooled. He could hear the undercurrent of rage in his voice although he spoke calmly. His cop voice, he used to call it.

'Fuck off!' The boy was in full-panic mode now. He didn't know what his father would do to him if he let him catch him...Rick was so unpredicatable these days and just like he'd admitted to him one night, 'He wasn't himself.' He'd never ever laid one hand on him even when he was younger and had been a real brat but he couldn't bank on that. Especially after the things he'd said to him in public. The Grimes family had always been about protecting their reptuation and not airing their dirty washing out in the open for everyone to see, his Dad had been the Sheriff after all. Always had to set a shining example and now Carl had just gone and blown his in fornt of everyone.

The most unforgiveable, cardinal sin in their family that couldn't be taken back.

But he couldn't outrun his father, whose long strides were rapidly catching up with him. He cursed himself for switching on the flashlight out of habit. If he hadn't done that...

'I mean it, son. Ya don't have to be scared. I'm not angry, jus' wanna talk, is all.' But again, he detected that thin undertone of menace in his father's voice. He was furious enough to kill him.

He didn't wast energy replying as he desperately tried to escape. He thought about climbing up a tree. He had just picked one in front of him when he felt himself slammed into it, face first.

'Gotcha, ya piece of shit. What did ya think ya were doin' back there, huh?'

He was whirled around and didn't even see his father's fist flying into his face. But he drew his breath back in shock. He had never called him things like that before.

Then the pain struck him and he saw stars.

'What did ya say to me? In front of everybody? I'm ya father!'

Another spark of pain hit him in the solar plexus. He couldn't even breathe as the agony flooded his body and he bent over.

'How dare ya disrespect me like that! I'm their leader for fuck's sake...'

A well-aimed kick had his knee buckle until he was yanked back upright. Pain was shooting up and down his leg. He moaned but was too shocked to cry.

'What did ya tell 'em? Ya tell 'em about us?'

'No! Didn't say nothin'!' He didn't know what else to do but lie and maybe he would stop.

Rick chuckled, a harsh, cynical sound he'd never heard before. It was true, this wasn't his father beating the crap out of him, it was a demon who had possessed his body instead.

'Guess I'm gonna have to hit ya where it doesn't show now. Shouldn't have marked up ya face...'

'Dad...' He gasped. 'Please.' And like the other thing he did to him, he could hardly believe this was happening. Apart from the shooting pain, that was.

'Dad...I'm sorry!' He drew back his fist slowly and Carl had time to duck before it hit the bark where his upper body had been.

'Get off him.' It was Daryl's voice and suddenly his father was pulled back away from him and Merle was in front of him, shielding him from Rick.

'Ya OK, son?' He touched his face gingerly. 'Looks like Daddy-O really did a number on ya. Ya hurt anywhere else?'

Carl nodded. Merle gently pulled up his shirt, drawing a hiss of pain from him and looked him over.

He heard sounds of fighting and scuffling. 'Ya ain't never gonna live this down, Rick! We know what ya've been doin' to him!' Daryl was roaring at his father. But Rick wasn't answering. Suddenly he was afraid for him and ignoring the pain in his knee, he dodged around Merle to see him on the ground, curled up in a foetal position and the other Dixon kicking him.

'Don't like it when they can fight back, do ya? Look at ya now, ya fuckin' coward!'

Rick groaned, didn't even bother trying to get up and fight back.

'Dad!...No, don't!' Carl tried to grab the back of his vest to stop him but Merle held him back.

'Let me go! Don't hurt him!' He struggled.

Daryl either didn't hear or chose to ignore him. 'And people call us scum!' Another vicious kick to his stomach. Rick clutched his middle and let out a long, low moan of agony.

'Daryl, stop it! Ya'll kill him!' Now it was his own brother warning him off.

He sensed him smirk but he did back off. Almost reluctantly.

'Come on, boy. Ya sleepin' with us tonight.' Merle grabbed his arm.

'Dad...' He could hear him moaning on the floor and looked over his shoulder. 'We can't jus' leave him...'

'Don't worry about him. He'll be OK. ' Daryl came up on his other side and together they helped him along. He couldn't put any weight down on his leg now that the adrenalin had worn off and he hurt all over.

'It fuckin' hurts.' He groaned. 'He never hit me before.'

'I know, I know. Got something for that inside. Come on.' Merle pulled him along.

As they came back to the camp, some people poked their faces outside their flaps and shone their torches onto the three of them.

'Go back to bed, will ya?' Daryl told them with a look of thunder fierce enough to discourage any questions. 'Ain't nothin' to look at.'

'Where's Rick?' Dale was brave enough to ask and then he gasped in horror. 'Did he do that to Carl?' At least he didn't immediately assume that one of the Dixons or both had beaten him up.

Merle sighed. 'He's back there if ya wanna go and get him.' He jerked his head back in the direction of the woods without answering his other question.

'Did ya...kill...Is he OK?' Carol had got out of her tent and was standing outside with Judith in her arms. Looking at the boy with concern but sadly, not so much shock. Her ex-husband had been violent. Yet, it must have been a shock to think that such a gentle man like Rick used to be – someone who rarely even raised his voice - could behave in the same way.

'He'll live.' Merle's answer was snappish and indifferent. 'But he's lost his fuckin' mind.'

'I meant Carl. Ya OK, honey?'

Carl shrugged and tried to smile.

'Why did he do that to him?'

'Why don't ya go and ask him? If ya ain't scared.' Merle challenged her.

She didn't answer but called out loudly, 'Is anyone gonna help me go and get him?'

A couple of men came out of their tents with their torches to go and fetch him.

'Great.' Daryl muttered as they let Carl go and helped him into their tent. 'I was tryin' to sneak us back in without them seein' and now we got all their questions to answer.'

'I hate it. Them lookin' at me like that – like they feel sorry for me. Like my Dad's a monster.'

Carl was embarrassed and naturally not enjoying being the centre of attention.

'Ain't he?' Merle looked at him quizzically. 'Here, take these.' He handed him a couple of unmarked pills.

'What are they?'

'Somethin' for the pain and to calm ya down so ya can sleep.'