Chapter 3

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.

- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest

When Carmen is sleeping, she doesn't enjoy being woken up.

Especially before sunrise.

Especially when its her cell phone that's doing the waking.

Because Carmen was very likely to throw her cell phone against the wall in a moment of rash thinking, and then be out of a cell phone a few hours later when she woke up.

Luckily though, Carmen didn't throw her cell phone against the wall. She instead answered it and mumbled a very unfriendly hello into the speaker.

"Carma, our flight's at 6:30. So be ready and at my house at 5, okay?"

It was Bee's voice, and Carmen knew that, but she must have been dreaming.

"Carmen? You there?"

"Uhhh?"

"Did you hear what I said?" Her voice was getting impatient.

"Yeah, yeah. Flight at 6:30 tonight. I'll be there. Let me go back to sleep now, okay?"

She was on the verge of snapping the phone shut.

"Carma. The flight isn't tonight." Now she was a little more than a little impatient.

"Huh?"

"Its in two hours."

"Holy shit."

She sat up, fully awake.

"You'll be ready to go at 5?"

"Yeah."

She hung up, tossed the phone somewhere on the bed, and began to panic.

She didn't know where anything was here; all the furniture, all the rooms…she just couldn't wrap her mind around this place. It would take her much more than…how much time did she have? It was 4:15. 45 minutes to get ready.

Shower. She needed to shower.

And find her clothes. And pack.

All without waking her mom, David, and her baby brother, Ryan.

Right.

Okay. Breathe in, breathe out.

She went to her brand new dresser, pulling out one of the drawers. There was a pair of underwear. And also, a green sock. The next drawer had just a wrinkled blue polo shirt, and the next had a pair of old jeans.

Shit.

She slammed the drawer closed, and it caught on her finger. She yelled at the dresser, kicking it. Which of course made her scream more, because now she had an aching foot.

x x x

Even the beauty of Greece didn't sooth Lena's broken heart.

It really was beautiful, like it always was. A crescent moon hung somberly in the sky, a shining beam of sadness in the sea of inky black.

If she had her paints with her, she would have captured it right then and there. It seemed to mirror how she felt. Just so dark, so lonely, so wanting to be able to cling on to any thread of hope that was handed to her.

Nobody understood what this was to her. They didn't know what he had said to her last summer. They didn't know about the tender possibilities that lay between them, needing proper nurturing and attention. After last summer, she had dared to believe that she and Kostos would be together again one day.

And now all hope was gone. She had allowed herself to climb up a dangerous mountain, knowing all the risk involved, and yet she was surprised when she lost her footing and fell hopeless to the earth.

Lena hated the idea of death; how final it was, how empty it was. She could have handled Kostos getting back together with his ex-wife. She could have handled him falling in love with another girl, or him falling out of love with Lena.

Because then she would still hang onto the foolish dreams of reuniting with him one day.

And now he couldn't.

Lena knew she would never truly love again. Kostos would always hold that spot in her heart.

She wouldn't be able to live knowing that he could not. She would not be able to get married and have kids, knowing that it was not him that she was married to, knowing that those were not his kids.

Life was what she had and what he didn't. And for him to live again, she would give up her life in a minute.

Because right now, life sucked.

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