Summary: Think about it. What was Seph like prior to Nibelheim? Did he ever have sick days, hangovers, telemarketers that would not leave him alone? Well, you can bet your ugly f-king boots he did! And so this fic, which will eventually become a series of oneshots/drabbles, has come into being. Proof that Sephiroth is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, as human as you and I!

Disclaimer: Lemme check real quick. Hmmm... Nope. I still don't own Final Fantasy VII or Sephiroth. He visits me from time to time, but I don't own him. Truth be told, I don't think Square Enix really does either. They just say they do.

Reaffirmation

Zack strolled up the hallway towards Sephiroth's office with a cocky stride, whistling a happy tune. Today was shaping up to a pretty rosy one. One of the hot new secretaries on the fifty-third floor had agreed to go out on a date with him tonight, and he fully expected to get laid before the night was over. But first, he had to deliver this bundle of papers from one of the drill sergeants to his friend.

The incident of last Friday night had never gotten out to the general population, both SOLDIERs having bribed their Turk bedmate into silence about it. Zack, as per his personal policy, was planning on reaffirming his masculinity by screwing the poor secretary's brains out later.

From his plan had sprung an idea. If he could get his drunken night of homosexual activities out of his head by banging some random woman, why couldn't Sephiroth do the same? There were at least fifty women in the office levels alone who would put out for the handsome General, and Holy-only-knew-how-many more in the rest of Midgar. It would be so damn easy to set him up with a date.

Zack reached his friend's door and banged one fist against it, leaning against the wall beside the door to wait for the deep, clear command of "Enter."

There was no acknowledgement whatsoever. And Zack knew he must have heard his knock; he made a point of practically denting the door every time he came by.

"Hey Seph?" He pounded the metal again. "Open up. I've got some papers for you."

The reply was strangely muffled. "Give them to me later."

Zack furrowed his brow. "Huh?"

"I'm a little busy right now. Come back later."

What the hell is there to keep him busy that he wouldn't want to get out of with a visit from Yours Truly? He hates paperwork! Has he taken up golf and is busy perfecting his putt, perhaps?

He shook his head; the idea of Sephiroth playing golf, complete with tacky plaid pants and pompom hat, was a strange one indeed. "This stuff's important, Seph! It's about the incoming recruits!"

"Go away!"

"I'm coming in." Zack slid the door open, surprised to see that his superior was nowhere in sight. "Seph? Where the hell are you?"

Sephiroth's head popped up from behind his desk. He looked extremely annoyed, as well as a little flushed. "Zackary! Get out of here! Now!"

Confused as to why Sephiroth would be under his desk but knowing better than to question his motivations, Zack shrugged and dropped the papers on the black leather couch by the door. "See ya later, Seph. Come talk to me, ok? I may be able to set you up with a lady tonight."

The General waited until the door slid shut, then returned his attention to the beautiful, half-clad woman he was currently straddling. "You are so lucky he didn't come any closer. Hell hath no fury like a SOLDIER First Class cheated."

She smiled sexily, then reached up and yanked him back down atop her. "I'll get cleaned up before our date tonight. Besides, if he'd do bad things to me for refusing him, imagine what you, his General, would do if I turned you down."

"Finally! A woman who understands me!" Sephiroth mock-crowed as he began to kiss her again. She fisted her hands in his silver curtain of hair and linked her legs behind his back.

"Shut up and screw me already."