Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

A/N: This chapter takes a sadder turn.

Remus left after dinner that night, and Sirius and James settled down to sleep after talking about the map for a little while. They'd just about finished their plan for it, and James couldn't get over how much it would help them all once they went back to school in September. In spite of his excitement, though, he was sound asleep almost instantly, his hair even messier than usual, and Sirius couldn't get comfortable. He glanced over at James as he cautiously made his way over to the window and wondered why he was always able to do that, to fall asleep so quickly. Sirius couldn't sleep. He didn't know why either. It wasn't like he was homesick. That would be ridiculous.

He stared out at the night sky, vaguely trying to remember the astronomy lessons from Hogwarts but quickly giving up the idea. He contented himself with making up his own names for the shapes the stars seemed to form as he stared at them. After a few minutes, though, he got bored and went back to the cot.

He flopped from his side to his back, wondering why he couldn't get comfortable. He was at the Potters now. He was safe and in a place where people accepted him. There should have been nothing preventing him from falling into a sound sleep right now. But he couldn't.

Finally, after changing positions what felt like fourteen times in four minutes, he got out of bed again and this time decided maybe a drink would help. He was happy to find the kitchen empty but had just finished pouring himself a glass of water when he heard footsteps behind him. Whirling around, he was almost happy to see Mrs. Potter. She smiled at him too.

"Having trouble sleeping?" she asked sympathetically. When he nodded, she did too. "I always come down for a drink. Nothing else seems to work."

Sirius smiled at her, but his heart wasn't in it. He didn't know what to say or how to act. It suddenly hit him that he was going to be living here… actually living here… and he couldn't find the words for a chance meeting in the kitchen?

"Does the water usually work?" They were the first words to come to mind, but he was glad something had. He was surprised, though, by the sound of his own voice. It sounded scratchy to his ears, and he could tell from Mrs. Potter's startled expression that she'd heard it too. She tried to pretend she hadn't, though.

Motioning for Sirius to join her at the table, she nodded. "For some reason? Yes. I don't know why, though…"

They lapsed into silence, each drinking the water, and then Mrs. Potter put down her glass firmly and fixed Sirius with a level gaze.

"Do you think maybe now might be the time to tell me the rest of the story about why you left?"

He choked on the water in his mouth and spit it back into the cup. After a moment, he raised his head to look at her.

"She doesn't want me there anymore," he said in a low voice. "She told me I am an embarrassment to the Black name. Not like the name, itself, isn't already an embarrassment to decent people everywhere… oh, and it's my fault my brother's become disenchanted with You-Know-Who… even though Regulus and I never talk."

Her penetrating gaze became too much, and he redirected his eyes to the table. There was a silence, and then Mrs. Potter spoke again.

"Sirius, the Black name isn't an embarrassment to people everywhere. Did you ever stop to think of what people who know you must think of it? You're making a name for yourself, dear. You can disagree with your family, but don't let that affect your opinion of your own worth."

She looked at the top of his head, and he nodded, but he wouldn't look up at her. She sighed.

"This is hard for you," she said simply. "I know that. You don't have to pretend it isn't. It would be hard for anyone, no matter how much he claimed to hate his family. It doesn't mean, though, that you're not doing the right thing. Just because it's right doesn't mean it's easy…"

Sirius nodded again. He couldn't look up. He just couldn't. He felt absolutely ridiculous for it, but he knew that if he did, she'd see the completely babyish tears that had welled up in his eyes. And the worst part was … he had no idea why. He had nothing to cry about. In fact, he had every reason to be happy. But he wasn't. And she knew that.

Before he realized what was happening, James's mother got out of her own seat. He assumed she was just bringing her glass to the sink, and she did, but then she came back and put her hands on his shoulders. It was all it took. Fight it though he tried, he felt his shoulders shaking with sobs he could barely repress, and he knew she could feel it too.

"Don't be embarrassed," she said softly. "It's normal to be sad about leaving your family behind."

He nodded, still refusing to turn, to look at her, to let her see what she'd done to him. She squeezed his shoulders, and he heard his own breath, hitching as he tried not to let a sound escape. This was completely absurd. He didn't cry, and he certainly didn't cry over them.

But here he was, he realized, crying over them. As the tears finally spilled over, he folded his arms on the table before him and moved forward, putting his face in their protective darkness. Mrs. Potter's hands never left his shoulders, and he sniffled as he finally let go.

After a few minutes, his tears slowed, and he realized that she was sitting beside him again. He sat there, head in his arms, frozen, until she repeated, "Don't be embarrassed."

Slowly, he lifted his head, hoping the darkness of the night would hide the flush he felt creeping up his face. He looked into Mrs. Potter's compassionate gaze and felt his lip tremble again, but he bit it. No. He was done. But he had to be sure of one more thing before he went back to bed.

"You won't tell James, right?" he asked, his voice unsteady, as he made his way to the doorway. He paused slightly to hear her answer, and Mrs. Potter knew how important this was.

"Of course not," she answered immediately, and both of them could sense his immense relief.

"Ok," he said, turning to go, but as he made his way back up the stairs, "thanks" came echoing back down. She smiled sadly. This was only the beginning, she knew, of Sirius's adjustment to his new life. It wasn't going to be easy.