Title: The Girl With Kaleidoscope Eyes
Rating: R. That meant not-worksafe Archer/Rin love, but you're getting the sanitizied for your protection version here. Full MA one can be found at my writing lj.
Characters: Archer x Rin
Word Count: 15,314
Warning/s: Heaven's Feel spoilers, and a lot of them too. I don't think anyone should feel too lost, though.
Summary: Life is never that simple, however. It moves on, a great unstoppable thing, and it's all you can do to try not to be crushed by it along the way.
Dedication: For Burizulu, who left me the nicest review I've ever gotten, and I promised to dedicate this thing to months ago. I just hope it was worth the wait. And for Elf, for helping my improve my smut-writing skills and perving over Archer with me all those times. You've done the world a greater service than you can possibly know.
A/N: Done for the 30 lemons challenge theme 3. The Sexuality of Terror, or, "Help, I'm Out of Control, Thank God!" More (long-ass) notes to follow after the fic.
Fate/stay night © TYPE-MOON / Kadokawa Shoten / Studio DEEN.
Cross-posted to fsn fiction, 30 lemons and my writing lj.
Shining iridescently, crystal clear yet tinted with all the colors of the rainbow, the Jeweled Sword Zelretch was truly a sight to behold. Even now, Rin could feel its power humming in her grasp, waiting to be released. A wonderful artifact, capable of matching Servant-level Noble Phantasms. She had known the instant her hands had touched the rough crystal of the blade that Shirou had taken the seal off Archer's borrowed arm to Trace it, that doing so shaved off yet more of what little time he had left, if he even survived until tomorrow, the last day of the war.
Yet there was only one thing on Rin's mind right now. Numbly, she stared at the pendant held in Shirou's swaying hand, a perfect twin to the one lying underneath her shirt in every way.
Even in the midst of his obvious pain from using Archer's arm, Shirou noticed her shocked expression. He followed her gaze to the delicate looking necklace in his palm, confusion settling on his face.
"This, Tohsaka? What's wrong, I'm just holding it as a keepsake."
"Shirou, where did you get it?" Rin asked shakily, voice barely above a whisper. Some very alarming connections were being made in her mind right now, and she had a feeling Shirou's answer would only make things worse.
Shirou frowned, eyes closed tightly in concentration.
"...I can't quite remember." Shirou admitted, sounding uneasy. Given how his memory had been increasingly fractured since the transplant, that came as no surprise to Rin. "But I have this strong feeling I should keep it."
"I have it too." Rin replied, voice gaining a little strength with her rising anger-at what exactly, she wasn't sure. She pulled her necklace off, comparing the two.
"Identical in every respect." Rin murmured in disbelief, before looking a little more closely at Shirou's. "Except yours still has a little mana in it and mine is completely void of it."
Her gaze slid over to where Illyasviel stood, looking completely impassive at the exchange. Too impassive by far, as if nothing was a surprise to her…
If you truly wish to know, Ilya is the only one who will be able to tell you.
Rin's eyes narrowed, her anger gaining a laser-keen focus. If there was one thing she hated, it was being kept in the dark on purpose. With an effort, Rin clamped down on it, fully meeting Ilya's garnet colored gaze.
"Come outside with me, Ilya." Rin ordered, not at all placated by the other girl doing exactly as she said. It was impossible to miss the manner in which Ilya did it, as if she was humoring Rin. Rin looked over her shoulder where Shirou was crouched down, her anger ebbing at the sight of the pain still running through his body. "You rest in the meantime, Shirou."
Ilya sat on the engawa, legs swinging in a childish way that was at odds with the calm look on her pale face. Rin stood facing her, restraining her temper with considerable willpower. She wanted answers more than she wanted to unleash her anger, even if the events of the past two weeks had considerably worn down her self-control.
"Well, Rin?" Ilya asked, smoothing out her skirt. "Are you just going to stand there glaring at me until I crack? I was hoping the Tohsaka magus would comport herself with a little more grace."
Rin's hand curled into a fist at that, but there was no denying the Einzbern homunculus had made a valid point. This was no time to just give into her lesser instincts.
"Archer said you were the only one who could tell me what I wanted know." Rin replied, mentally counting her breaths in an effort to calm herself.
"Of course I can. I'm the chosen vessel for the Holy Grail after all. This close to the end of Heaven's Feel, there's very little I don't know." Ilya tilted her head thoughtfully at the taller girl. "But are you sure you want to know, given what you've done?"
Rin went pale at that. Stay calm...don't give her an edge because of such a loosely phrased question...
"Vaguely worded accusations don't mean much to me." Rin responded, less steadily than she wished.
"There was certainly nothing vague about what you were doing with your Archer, that last night you shared before he died." Ilya shot back, eyes gleaming with unholy triumph.
Heat swam to Rin's cheeks, part embarrassment, that Ilya would know such a deeply private affair, and part anger that she'd make light of it. To her annoyance, these emotions didn't escape the white-haired girl's notice.
"You don't need to worry, Rin," Ilya explained. "By that point, I knew the same way you'd know something by reading about it in a book. I didn't...see...anything." She smirked a little as Rin flushed more. "Do you regret it?"
Rin glared at her. "No, I don't, not that it's any of your business anyway." She forced herself to calm down before continuing. "Now, quit dancing around the subject and tell me who Archer is!"
Ilya stopped swinging her legs, smiling knowingly at Rin.
"Why should I tell you what you've already put together on your own? I'm just going to say what you already know for yourself and are just blindly hoping you're wrong about."
Rin flinched, Ilya's words hitting the mark perfectly. Just how old was she, anyway? There was no way such harsh, cutting words could come from a true child.
"But it doesn't make any sense," Rin objected weakly. "How can Archer and Shirou be the same person? They don't even look that much alike. Just about the only thing they have in common is Tracing!"
"And your pendant." Ilya responded evenly, toying with a lock of hair the color of snow. She looked a little more sympathetic now, at the realization dawning on Rin's face. "Don't you know that time and space mean nothing to the Throne of Heroes? A hero from an alternate future isn't much of a problem for it, simply because the Throne exists outside any conventional timeline."
Rin sat next to Ilya, no longer trusting her legs to support her. It was true, she had more or less suspected everything Ilya was telling her, but to know it for a fact...
Ilya paused a beat before continuing. "There really isn't a lot I can tell you, even with my knowledge. He survived a Grail War far different from the one we know only to die ten years later."
Rin traced circles on the engawa's surface, a million questions running through her head.
"I guess he must have become some great hero, then, helping others." Rin softly remarked. "Like he wanted to, at first."
Ilya shook her head in denial. "That's just about the opposite of what actually happened. He made a bargain with the World, exchanging indefinite servitude as an eirei as well as a Counter Guardian after his death for a miracle; to change the destinies of a hundred who were meant to die. But he found himself killing many to save many more, and lived out the rest of his life in despair. Because of his deal with the World. Counter Guardians are only summoned to prevent disaster by eliminating the cause, which usually means killing people who are responsible for bringing it."
Ilya's tone grew sadder. "He wanted so badly to save people. To save Saber. To save me. I'm not surprised it broke him, in the end. Anyway, with the decisions onii-chan's made, giving up his ideals to save one person, he and Archer have become separate people, with separate existences."
Rin shook with rage, fury bursting within her like nothing she had felt before.
"So that's just it? He suffered so much, and he's just going to keep suffering forever?"
Ilya's understanding look stung like a sword to the heart.
"There's nothing you can do, Rin. Even then, his existence won't fade because it's become completely independent of Shirou's. Archer will continue to fight his lonely battle, until the World lets him go. That could be the rest of eternity." Surprisingly, Ilya reached over and patted her hand. "All you can do is survive this war like he wanted you to." The homunculus gave her a sly look before she added, "Because he really cared a lot for you, in life and as he existed now."
Rin swallowed hard, eyes burning with tears she didn't have the freedom to let fall, before she stood up with a determined look.
"Then you'll be damn sure that's what I'll do. I swear he won't have died for nothing." Rin declared firmly, feeling her normal state of self-confidence start to flare to life. "Let's get Shirou and Rider ready to go to Ryuudouji."
Rider lifted her head to the sky, frowning slightly as she stood with Shirou and Rin at the foot of the secret passage underneath Ryuudouji that led to where Sakura would release the Grail.
"True Assassin is gone." The beautiful Servant told the two magi. "He was probably absorbed by Sakura."
Rin let out a sigh as she opened the passage and started walking into its near-total shadows, Shirou and Rider following behind her. "So we've lost and gained a problem at the same time." Her eyes met Shirou's in the darkness. It was better than looking at his left arm.
"So, are you sure about giving me a weapon to kill Sakura?"
Shirou smiled a little at that.
"Well, to save Sakura, two is better than one anyway. And I promised I would trace it."
Rin flushed a little as she stomped ahead.
"Quit seeming so confident I'll go back on my word, fool!"
The trio emerged into the wide open cavern only to be met by Black Saber. Rin forced herself not to take a reflexive step back, but could do nothing about the tremor of almost primal fear that ran down her spine. The Jeweled Sword Zelretch, held tightly in her right hand, was at least a small measure of reassurance.
"I have my orders." The dark Servant intoned, face still and hard as stone. "None shall pass."
Rin bit her lip before glancing at Shirou and Rider. Considering the nature of their respective weapons and opponents, the best choice in this situation was obvious if grating.
"I'll go ahead then." Rin said before smirking at Shirou. "You better make it through and join me to face Sakura, with all that talk about saving her."
The look of steely determination in Shirou's eyes took her aback-it was the first time she had ever seen any real resemblance between him and Archer. It was a expression that left no room for compromise, an utter promise to keep his word.
"I will, Tohsaka." Shirou confirmed as she headed in the direction of the black tower looming before them-the Grail tainted with the 2,000 year old curse, the absolute concentration of the world's evil.
Black Saber moved to stop her only to be halted by Shirou and Rider. Golden eyes grew colder still as she readied her tainted Excalibur.
"Are you so eager to die, Shirou?" Black Saber asked frostily as she slid into a stance.
"Die?" Rider spoke up, pulling off the Gorgon Breaker that sealed her vision. Instantly, the air pressure increased.
"I have to disagree."
Rin headed up to the black tower, the twisted form of Angra Mainyu, tainter of the Grail nearly complete within it, like some twisted version of a babe within a womb. Revolting as it was, she had no time to be disgusted.
"Where's Zouken?" Rin muttered to herself, looking around for the Matou patriarch. Even without the artifact of True Magic she held firmly in her hand, she was stronger than the vampire. But something was wrong, wrong in a way Rin couldn't afford to deal with. Rin pressed forward, getting closer to the base of the black tower.
A soft, brittle laugh reached her ears before her eyes spotted its origin. A nightmarish reflection of her sister stood just before her, hair white as bone and eyes glowing red. What little of her body that could be seen under her black and red dress was covered with curling, blood-red seals, trailing up from her feet to the left side of her face. The pink ribbon that had once belonged to Rin was still in her hair, making the horrifying familiar...and all the more terrible for it.
Dark Sakura stepped forward, that smile as sharp and empty as broken glass fixed upon her face.
She reeked of shadows. There was no doubt in Rin's mind that Sakura was now the complete embodiment of Angra Mainyu. Rin's fingers curled ever more tightly around the hilt of the blade as she prepared herself for a fight.
"Are you looking for Grandfather? He's dead. True Assassin too." Dark Sakura spoke as she drifted towards her sister. "Also, I won't be free as long as you're around, nee-san. As long as anyone's around, I'll kill them."
"What about Shirou, Sakura?" Rin asked. "He still believes he can save you."
Sakura's empty smile widened.
"Actually, sempai is the only one I want to kill, nee-san. To eat."
Giant shadows formed up around the two sisters, as the sounds of Rider and Black Saber battling rose in the distance. Gritting her teeth, Rin leapt back, charging the blade to full power.
Time to see what the Jeweled Sword can do. If there was ever a time for a miracle, it's now.
Rin struck with the Zelretch blade, releasing wave upon wave of shining pure mana. Two of the giants dissolved to nothingness, then four, then seven. Rin grinned a little, impressed. Her arm was burning in pain from her magic circuits being forced in such a manner, but it looked like the Second Magic could truly live up to the word "miracle".
Dark Sakura gaped at Rin, shocked by what she had just seen, her sister simply erasing Sakura's mana with her own.
"That's impossible! You shot down so many already, but your mana-level isn't anywhere close to mine! And those strikes are so similar to Saber's Noble Phantasm..."
Rin smirked a little. "No, that's not a copy of Saber's Noble Phantasm. Nor it is a shadow-killing demonic sword. That's just the Zelretch blade used by the Tohsaka family." She caught the blank look on Sakura's face-it was obvious she had never even heard the name Zelretch before.
"If you have an unlimited source of mana as the Grail, the Jeweled Sword Zelretch draws mana from an unlimited number of possible alternate realities, based on how jewels make multiple reflections of light, hence mage craft using jewelry. That's the Second Magic." Rin explained, rejoicing in her success. Maybe there was a little hope after all.
Dark Sakura's face contorted in fury. "Don't look down on me, just because you got a little stronger!"
Rin struck down the remaining shadow giants, wincing as she felt the muscles in her arm start to tear. She really was pushing her circuits to their very limits, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
Breathing hard, Rin responded, "Actually, I can only draw as much as my own maximum for each shot. But that can be refilled at will, and I'm talented enough to beat you with that alone."
One giant remained by this point, it too falling to the gleaming blade like the rest of it's brethren.
"How could someone like nee-san possibly understand?!?" Dark Sakura screamed furiously, brittle calm shattered. "I always wanted you to recognize my abilities, just once! But more than that, I wanted you to save me from the Matou! I hoped for so long, even after father gave me up, and Grandfather and nii-san hurt me so much, but you never came!"
Rin's heart contracted painfully in her chest. There was no denying Sakura's accusations. Everyone who could have helped her had failed her. But still...
"In the end, you were the only one who was too weak. I never even knew you got hurt. You should have let me know yourself, because I couldn't have guessed alone." Rin hissed in pain as she prepared Zelretch for one final charge, her torn muscles burning in agony. "I never even thought I was more gifted, or better than you."
Dark Sakura let out a wordless howl of rage at Rin's words, which was just what had been needed. Rin detonated the jeweled portion of the blade at her, rushing her sister as she was blinded by the blast.
Sakura stiffened in shock as Rin pulled her into a hug, holding her tight.
"I could never say it to Shirou..." Rin murmured to Sakura, voice soft and gentle even as what little strength she had left drained away. "But I could never kill you, even at the very end. Because I really do love you, even though I said I'd kill you all those times..."
Vision blurring to black, Rin saw tears running down her sister's face as she collapsed into unconsciousness.
Don't cry...Sakura...
It was the pain that woke her up first, from the utter oblivion of true unconsciousness. Even the slightest movement sent waves of fire down her left arm. Gasping, Rin looked around as much as her arm allowed, the haze of pain finally lifting enough for her to realize she was in one of the Emiya guestrooms.
The door whispered open, admitting Rider, who had brought hot water and bandages. Her Breaker Gorgon was on once more, hiding her dangerous eyes, but Rin could still tell she was surprised.
"You're awake." Rider observed, soft voice faintly colored with surprise. "I wasn't expecting that to happen so soon."
"Where's Sakura?" Rin asked as she sat up as quickly as she could, her concern for her sister overriding her own pain.
"She's safe. Asleep in her room. She managed to get through without any injuries, but the shock of having her connection to Angra Mainyu severed knocked her out." Rider reassured her as she carefully bound up Rin's arm.
Rin hesitated before asking the underlying question.
"And Shirou?"
Rider set the bowl of hot water down, face hidden by her long lavender hair.
"When I last saw him, just after he freed Sakura, hundreds of blades were being made inside his body, instead of outside, because of Archer's arm." Rider neatly tied off Rin's bandage before finishing. "He's probably dead by now. If that didn't kill him, any final Tracing he did to destroy the Grail would have done so."
Rin brought her knees to her chest, shaking, before collecting herself. Wincing, she got to her feet. She was still feeling very weak, but at least she could walk on her own.
"The Grail's been destroyed?" Rin questioned, as she pulled on her shirt.
"Yes." Rider confirmed. "It seems I'm still here because Sakura's body is still acting as a Grail, even though the link's been severed. She certainly has more than enough mana to support me."
Rin reached into the drawer for the few very minor gemstones she had remaining. While none of them were all that remarkable or possessed much mana, they might still be able to help in some small way. It was certainly better than nothing.
Rin's brow furrowed as a sudden thought crossed her mind.
"Where's Ilya?"
Rider looked anxiously at her before she replied.
"I don't know. She wasn't here when I brought you and Sakura back."
That was odd. Ilya would have been perfectly safe at the Emiya home. But the homunculus was far from helpless, especially with the greatest dangers in Fuyuki having already been eliminated.
"Ilya can take care of herself for the moment." Rin finally answered as she left the room, beckoning Rider to follow her. "Right now, we need to go Ryuudouji and retrieve Shirou...whether he's alive or not." She knelt down at the doorway, pulling on her loafers.
"Can you fly us without being seen, Rider?"
A moment's silence passed as the eirei considered the question.
"Yes, if I fly fast enough."
"Good. Fast is what we need right now. You can tell me what happened on the way."
The wind roared in her ears as Rin clung a little tighter to Rider. Even when she had flown with Archer, she had never been so high up. While she didn't have a great fear of heights, having a winged horse being the only thing separating you from a very messy death thousands of feet below would give anyone vertigo. Desperately, Rin focused on Rider's words in an attempt to ignore her own fear.
"And then what happened?" Rin asked, loudly enough for Rider to hear her over the wind.
"Shirou Traced the Rho Aias shield of Telamonian Ajax, using his right arm instead of his left. It wasn't the full version, but it was enough when combined with my Pegasus and Mystic Eyes to defeat Black Saber and Excalibur. After that final strike though, we were both down for the count and only Shirou was standing. He finished Saber off with your Azoth blade."
Unseen by Rider, Rin closed her eyes in regret. If only there had been some way to save her...
"By the time I recovered enough strength to follow Shirou, he had already severed Angra Mainyu's hold on Sakura with a Traced Rule Breaker. I got you both and flew out on Pegasus as quickly as I could." Rider's voice grew quiet, so much so that Rin barely heard her. "By that point his mind was so fractured he couldn't even remember my name, and the toll on his body was just as bad."
Both women were silent the rest of the way, faced with the certainty that it would be a corpse that would be their duty to bring back to the Emiya household. Rider gently tugged the golden reins, and Pegasus descended with amazing smoothness, landing as gently as a leaf blown by the breeze. It was still night out, only about an hour since Rider had taken Rin and Sakura away from Ryuudouji to safety. Under the cover of darkness Rin and Rider made their way to the secret passage leading to the underground cavern.
The mouth of the passageway gaped open, as dark and bleak as it had been last time. Rin looked uneasily at Rider before gathering her nerve and heading down the shadowy path, the Servant and her mount following close behind.
They emerged together to the ravaged battleground their respective fights had left the cavern under the temple. To Rin's relief, the black tower was completely gone, but at what cost they were about to find out. Rin scanned the area as best she could in the dim light.
"If he's anywhere, it's probably where the tower stood." Rider spoke up, one hand patting Pegasus' neck for comfort.
"I know." Rin admitted. She glanced over her shoulder at the taller woman, before reluctantly continuing. "Would you mind letting me look by myself, first?"
It really was an impossible task, to judge what Rider was thinking with her Gorgon Breaker on. Finally, the eirei nodded in assent.
"I will wait until I am called, then, or if I feel you are in danger."
Rin sighed softly as she started up to where the black tower had been.
"There's nothing here to be in any danger from, Rider. There's nothing at all."
Rin walked up the rest of the way by herself, feeling her exhaustion with every step. Nonetheless, she pressed on. This was one of those things best undertaken in solitude, and Rin had never liked sharing her grief with others.
She was nearly at the foot of where the tower had been-her encounter with Sakura had prevented her from getting this far before, but she wasn't doing too badly for the unfamiliar terrain.
Then she spotted the body.
For one terrible moment her heart stopped, until she realized it was too tall and built to be Shirou. Rin studied the corpse more intently, recognizing it even in its beaten state.
"...Kirei?"
Not that she expected an answer. His body was cool and already starting to stiffen-he probably had only been dead for less than an hour. Sakura had taken back the artificial heart he had received from the Grail, so that he had died wasn't surprising. What she didn't understand was why he looked so beaten now, like he had fought-
Shirou.
He tried to stop Shirou from destroying the Grail. And Shirou had to fight Kirei on top of everything else.
Rin looked up desperately from Kotomine's body, looking for the smallest sign of blue or white. Praying, for the first time in a very, very long time, for a miracle. Hope was all she had left at this point.
If she hadn't been looking so closely, she would have missed it, covered as it was in dirt and blood and hidden mostly by rubble besides. Shaking, Rin rushed in the direction of the denim clad leg she had spotted at the very base of where the tower had been.
Emiya Shirou lay crumpled on the ground, filthy and unconscious but in one piece. Not wasting a moment, Rin carefully laid her head on his chest, listening to a heartbeat that by all rights shouldn't have been there and yet was, and perfectly steady and strong too.
Happy as she was, Rin didn't miss the oddity of the situation. She cast an appraising look at the limp magus, jaw dropping at the sight of his perfectly restored left arm, whole and matching his right. To say nothing of the fact he should have at least been wounded, yet didn't have a single scratch on him.
Rin shrugged slightly to herself. She could always just ask Shirou when he woke up. The dark-haired magus stood from her crouch, ready to turn around and get Rider, when something else caught her eye.
Pure, billowing crimson, only worn by one person she knew.
Rin sank to her knees in shock, afraid for one terrifying moment that she had lost her mind, that this was all a dream, that she was hallucinating the whole scene...
"Archer."
These last few days had passed strangely for Archer. He had died, yet because of the transplant of his left arm onto Emiya Shirou, his existence in this world still continued in a small but undeniable way. Thinking back on it, it was much like being in a coma, all darkness except for muted sounds coming very far away.
He had died.
Yet, somehow, he was here now, alive and whole, and someone had just called his name.
Archer opened his eyes and pushed himself up, wondering at the feeling of bones and muscle and skin moving perfectly together. He had forgotten how heavy a body was, after all this time. He wasn't quite up to absorbing the sheer impossibility of possessing real flesh at all, not the distant imitation a materialized Servant had, but it didn't matter, seeing as he had no idea how he had gotten his body back in the first place.
Where the hell was he, anyway? The cavern he was in looked somewhat familiar, but after a certain point most battlegrounds tended to look alike-and a very fierce battle indeed had taken place.
This must be the secret cavern underneath Ryuudouji. Someone must have reached the Grail and destroyed it.
Though Archer was still disoriented, the haze of confusion was rapidly lifting from his mind.
It cleared completely at the sight of Rin. He still didn't know what the hell was going on, but she was alive, and safe, and that was what truly mattered. It had been many years since he had last felt such utter relief.
"Archer..." Rin whispered, lovely face gone nearly white with shock, eyes wide and dilated. Summoning strength from her last inner reserve she kneeled next to him, lightly resting her hands on his thigh as if she were afraid anything more would make him disappear.
With an effort, Archer suppressed the heat stirred in his chest by the feeling of her slender hands through the leather of his pants. His gaze slid down to the bandages that could be seen from around her wrist to far underneath her shirt sleeve, and the sudden wave of self-loathing that swept over him dampened his desire. At least she seemed to be fine otherwise, if on her last bit of energy.
"You're injured, Rin, and obviously exhausted as well." Archer noted, fake annoyance hiding the very real anger in his tone before he smirked at Rin in a way that never failed to rile her up. "Are you that helpless without me?"
As he had hoped, angry color swam to Rin's cheeks, her eyes flashing like the ocean under the sun.
"I'm obviously not hallucinating this, since I think my subconscious would at least try make you less of an...an..." Rin snapped at him, trying to find a word vile enough to describe him before giving up and kissing him so hard it nearly knocked them both down.
For once, Archer was at a complete loss for words as their lips parted. Rin looked aside at his startled gaze, flushing more as she licked her lips in embarrassment.
"And don't take that the wrong way! I was just-"
"Happy to see me, Rin?"
"Shut up, Archer!"
A groaning noise cut off any reply Archer may have had. Both turned to where Emiya Shirou was stirring into consciousness. In a flash Rin was by his side, helping him sit up as gently as possible. There was something off about him-not quite human, even if there was no doubt it was Shirou before her.
"-ya." Shirou rasped weakly, eyelids still fluttering open.
"What, Shirou? Are you alright? What happened?" Rin asked, confusion and worry warring within her. His eyes focused on hers, the bleak despair in them taking her aback.
"Ilya...gone..." The redhead whispered hollowly, not to her so much as to himself, before passing out again, a tear sliding down his blood-smeared cheek. As calmly as she could manage, Rin checked his pulse before sighing in relief.
Still steady-it just seemed to be exhaustion. Happy as she was Shirou was alright, Rin felt he could have rested at a more convenient time. Something major had happened after Rider had taken her and Sakura away-something aside from the obvious destruction of the Grail-and she had no idea what it was, other than the fact Ilya had been involved and the end result was the resurrection of both Shirou and Archer.
The firm touch of Archer's hand on her back snapped her out of her musings. Shifting to face him, the mix of concern and irritation in his eyes caught her off guard.
"Did you come here by yourself?"
Rin shook her head, in denial and to compose herself.
"Rider flew me over here on Pegasus. She's waiting at the cavern entrance for me to call her over. I wasn't expecting to find anything but a body." Rin bit her lip before looking up at him hesitantly. "Do...do you know anything about what happened?"
Archer was quiet for a long, tense moment, eyes clouded and face still. Rin was about to open her mouth, to brush her question off, to do something to break the painful silence, when Archer's eyes met her own.
"...I don't really know myself. It was a disorienting experience. The only thing I can tell you is that I heard Ilya's voice, as if from far away, and then I was here...whole again."
Rin swallowed, throat dry. The tortured look on Archer's face nearly stopped her, but she had to ask.
"What did she say?"
Archer closed his eyes, the shadows of grief upon him.
"...That she wanted me to live more than herself. Then goodbye."
Numbly Rin stared at him, despising herself all the more for forcing him to recall such pain.
"Archer, I'm-"
Her Servant got to his feet, bracing Shirou's limp frame against his shoulder.
"Don't finish that, Rin. Call Rider over, so we can leave as quickly as possible. Your sister shouldn't be left alone."
Her body tightly wound as piano wire, Rin silently stood, barely able to give him a curt nod. Pointing her finger towards the roof of the cavern, the German flare incantation that spilled from her lips was all that was spoken until Rider's arrival.
If Rider was surprised at the unusual turn of events, she concealed it with her usual grace.
Or maybe she just has her priorities straight. Rin thought as she slowly walked up the steps of the Emiya grounds, the others trailing further behind her. If I had half her composure, at least Archer and I would be able to look at each other without pretending we weren't. I never thought flying with him would be worse than flying on Pegasus.
The dark-haired mage sighed softly, glancing at the silent man out of the corner of her eye. Well, I can wish things were different all I want. It won't change anything.
A distant noise caught Rin's attention, stopping her mid-step. She froze in place, straining her ears to their limits. There was no mistaking the far-off sound.
Sakura was crying.
Her body, exhausted or not, took over at that point. Rin flew up the steps, loafers skidding on the slate walkway leading to the house. Sakura lay curled up on the engawa sobbing, looking young and vulnerable with her hair loose and her baggy pajamas. Without a second thought, Rin pulled her little sister into her arms, and ten years of separation disappeared.
"N-nee-san..." Sakura whispered weakly, pressing her tear-stained face into Rin's shoulder. "S-sempai isn't here. I looked and looked and looked all over for him, but he's not here. He's gone, and it's all my fault."
"I'm sorry, Sakura. We shouldn't have left you to wake up by yourself." Rin murmured, gently stroking her sister's soft violet hair. "But you don't have to cry any longer." Carefully, she shifted them both to face the walkway even as Archer and the others rushed up. "Shirou's alive and well."
Rin would treasure the look of pure, simple joy that spread over Sakura's face for the rest of her life. It made the pain and trials of the Fifth Heaven's Feel utterly trivial by comparison. Everything they had gone through had been for this moment-and there were no regrets.
Shakily, as if she didn't trust her own strength, Sakura stood, staring with wide eyes at Shirou, still unconscious against Archer, but clearly breathing and alive.
"S...sempai?" Sakura breathed before rushing towards him with a joyful cry. "Sempai!" She was crying again as she embraced Shirou, but the happy tears made all the difference.
For one wonderful moment, all was right with the world.
If this had been a fairy tale, that's where it would have ended. The hero reunited with his love, destined to live his days out in peace and happiness.
Life is never that simple, however. Archer thought from where he sat cross-legged at the low table. It moves on, a great unstoppable thing, and it's all you can do to try not to be crushed by it along the way.
The living room was empty but for himself, Rider...and Rin. Sakura had opted to stay with Shirou, still unconscious even after being cleaned up and changed. He supposed that with all she had gone through, Sakura would be reluctant to part from him.
All the same, Archer couldn't help but wish she was there. Anything to break the silent tension-
"Archer." Rin spoke up suddenly, face serious. "I've been thinking about what must have happened before Rider and I returned to Ryuudouji."
"Oh?" Archer raised an eyebrow as he and Rider both looked at her. "And you don't think it would be better for Emiya to wake up and just get the facts from him?"
"That's the thing." Rin said quietly. "His mind was so broken by that point, I don't think he could tell us. Even though he's probably fine now, that disorientation in that past won't clear up."
"What would you recommend, then?" Rider asked, expression unreadable.
Rin flushed a little, cheeks going faintly pink.
"All we really have to go on are Archer and Shirou. Their bodies to be specific. So..." Rin's color darkened a little before she finished. "So the only choice I have is to examine one of you."
It took considerable willpower to keep his face straight-moreso in the face of the small smirk making its way across Rider's face.
"I'll just wait until Shirou wak-" Rin said, getting to her feet and heading to the door only to be blocked by Archer.
"Just examine me in one of the guestrooms." Archer curtly cut her off. "They shouldn't be disturbed, and you don't know how long he's going to be out."
Something flickered in Rin's eyes before perfect composure took over.
"Of course. That's the smartest thing to do." Rin replied coolly as Archer slid the door open. "Rider, would you mind standing guard outside Shirou's room?"
The lavender-haired eirei nodded, hair whispering against the tatami mats as she rose. "Of course not. Please...take your time."
Archer scowled as he followed Rin out the room. His imagination was excellent, but the smirk on Rider's face that came with her last words was, unfortunately, all too real. And all too irritating.
It was the deepest layer of Hell that he was currently in. With every breath in his body, Archer cursed Emiya Shirou all the more.
In the safety of his own head, that was. Even the softest whisper would have attracted Rin's attention, given how very close she was to him.
Very, very close.
"Okay, turn 15 degrees to the left and flex your right arm." Rin ordered, eyes sharply focused as she carefully studied the play of muscles under his skin, the diagnostic magic circle glowing softly beneath them both.
Resisting the urge to snarl in frustration, Archer did as she asked. He understood the need for analysis-but did she really have to have those small, soft hands of hers firmly on his bare skin the entire time? On his shoulders, his arms, his abdomen-the only small grace in the entire situation was that his pants were still on.
She had even listened to his heartbeat ("a little fast"), and the warm feel of her pressed against him, head resting on his chest had nearly broken him. Archer didn't know what it was about Rin that more or less gave his self control all the resilience of tissue paper, but much more of this slow torture and he'd do something incredibly stupid. The futon tucked unobtrusively in the corner was testing him enough as it was. He was made of swords, not stone.
Mercifully, Rin finally stepped away, her delicate jasmine scent lingering in the air. Deep in thought, she handed him his body armor, a frown creasing her lovely face. Silently, Archer buckled it back on, grateful for that small measure of separation from her...for all the good it did.
She was still frowning by the time he slipped his jacket and trail back on, eyes facing his direction but focused on something else. Feeling awkward, Archer stood still, wondering if he should speak up when she beat him to it.
"Amazing." Rin murmured, lightly skimming his jaw line with slender fingers. Archer blinked, tensing up before he saw the distant look on her face-she wasn't really thinking about what she was doing. A soft, sad smile curved her lips as her eyes met his and held. "Even in a flawed form it really is worthy of the title 'Magic'..."
Against his own will, Archer's heart started to pound.
"Rin-"
Suddenly, the door slid open, revealing Rider's voluptuous form on the other side.
"Pardon me for interrupting," Rider said, somehow conveying a little amusement behind her completely calm expression, "But Shirou is awake now, should you wish to speak to him."
"He is?" Rin asked, dropping her hand from Archer's face. "How's he feeling?"
"He seems to be doing well." Rider replied evenly. "Still a little disoriented and very tired, but there doesn't appear to be any lasting physical damage."
Rin nodded, looking relieved. "Well, I think I've pieced together what's happened as best I can on my own." Sighing, she headed out the door. "Since Shirou probably can't move too well still, we'll just have to all go to his room."
Automatically, Archer made to follow Rin, until the force of Rider's stare on the back of his head stopped him abruptly.
"Do you have something you wish to say, Servant Rider?" He asked in the icy calm voice of the truly dangerous.
"Back at the school, you commended me for my loyalty to Sakura." Rider responded as she brushed past him. "I was merely admiring yours. You are no longer Rin's Servant, yet you still follow despite not being the kind of man who is inspired to do such things."
"...You're wrong." Archer countered at Rider's retreating back.
"Rin will always be my Master."
To see Emiya Shirou as he was now was to see an ultimate exercise in contrasts. Every inch of him looked weary to the bone, completely drained, until you saw his eyes. They burned with life, with vitality, with sheer determination. With utter willpower they hadn't quite had the last time Archer had seen them.
Shirou only showed the faintest surprise at seeing Archer enter the room after Rin and Rider, sherry brown eyes meeting steel grey without hesitation until Rin cleared her throat, drawing the attention of all the room's occupants.
"So, how are you feeling, Shirou?" Rin asked, her soft smile in Emiya's direction causing Archer's hand to clench involuntarily before he forced himself to relax.
Shirou smiled weakly in turn, absently curling his fingers against Sakura's, the violet-haired girl sitting closely next to him.
"Very, very tired, Tohsaka. But I'm in one piece, and that's what counts."
Rin breathed out slowly as she settled down on the floor, her lips curving sardonically.
"That much is obvious. You really should still be sleeping."
"I can sleep anytime. Right now, this is more important."
Rin studied him intently, her face growing serious.
"Unfortunately, it is. I've tried my hardest, but at best I only have a very rough idea of what happened. I know it's unlikely, but if you remember anything, anything at all, please tell me. Even the most insignificant thing could help."
Shirou closed his eyes briefly in concentration, thumb gently rubbing Sakura's hand as he opened them again, forehead creased with mental effort.
"There was a girl with white hair and red eyes...Ilya, even if I couldn't recognize her at the time...and she was wearing a beautiful dress." The red head paused, voice going soft with the memory. "It was the purest shade of white I had ever seen, with bits of red and gold...And she was saying something to me, but I couldn't really understand. Then everything went white until I woke up here." Shirou looked at Rin, shrugging. "That's the best I can do, Tohsaka. I know it was probably useless-"
"It wasn't." Rin interrupted, voice barely above her whisper. "The Einzbern's Dress of Heaven is the only way Ilya could have done it. One of the last remaining artifacts of the Third...one of the last objects capable of bringing about a 'miracle'." Looking like she was going to hit the limit of her energy soon, Rin massaged her temples briefly before continuing. "I don't really know much about it myself-just bits and pieces from Tohsaka Family records. What you could compare the Dress of Heaven to is like a much, much smaller version of the Greater Grail, something that has the same ability to materialize the soul, but for far less time. Several seconds at the most, probably."
Shocked silence hung in the air before Sakura, voice timid yet eyes determined, ended it.
"But Nee-san, even if she managed to accomplish all that, without a body to anchor the soul to, it would vanish after the time limit of even the Dress of Heaven."
Rin smiled gently at Sakura before correcting her.
"That's true, but the Einzberns are famous for their ability to make artificial bodies and spiritual transference. If she had bodies without a soul already attached to them available, she could transfer the summoned souls into them and they could remain in this world independent of the Dress of Heaven, like pouring water into a vessel and sealing it shut." Her gaze slid from Shirou to Archer, a dry smile twisting her lips. "That actually explains why something feels...off...about you two. Your bodies are more like those of homunculi than those of humans. It was an imperfect use of the Third, after all."
Shirou tilted his head, confused.
"Is that a problem, Tohsaka? A body is a body, right?"
Archer snorted derisively, speaking up for the first time since entering the room.
"Your knowledge of the basest thaumaturgy is lacking. Even the most ignorant magus knows a perfectly made homunculus doesn't age, doesn't die of natural causes in spite of a fragile existence." Archer's eyes darkened to the grey of storm clouds as he continued. "And even a flawed Einzbern homunculus is still better than the most perfect homunculus created by any other mage."
"Shut up, you two." Rin snapped, holding up a hand for silence before the discussion could degenerate into an argument as she shot Archer a killing glare. "Look, we're all exhausted, mentally and physically, and it's not like we could do anything about your bodies at the moment anyway. Ilya sacrificed her own existence so Emiya Shirou-both of them-could live. Don't demean it."
"'Both of them', Nee-san?" Sakura asked, eyes wide with shock, and even Rider looked somewhat startled. "Then Archer-san really is..."
Rin groaned, burying her face in her palms before she reached out without a word, brushing Archer's hair forward so his bangs hung over his forehead. Sakura's sudden, sharp gasp told him she had connected the dots as least as far as his identity was concerned.
"Alternate reality future self." Rin said shortly to the room at large, standing up unsteadily. "Whether you get the details or not is up to Archer. But now, all I want is to..."
Suddenly, Rin's knees buckled as her eyes fluttered shut. She swayed for a second before Archer swiftly caught her, carefully avoiding her left arm as her limp frame rested in his arms.
"She pushed herself too hard. I'll take her to bed." Archer remarked, realizing a second after the words left his mouth exactly how they sounded, quickly adding, "Once she's slept for a few hours she'll be fine."
Sakura and Shirou quickly looked at each other, some silent message passing between the two of them before they both stood.
"Please do that, Archer-san." Sakura said, her sweet smile somewhat offset by the warning gleam in her eye. "I'll get Nee-san a yukata. It will be more comfortable to sleep in than her regular clothes. Sempai, would you go with him so he doesn't have to open the door while holding Nee-san?"
"Sure, Sakura." Shirou promised. "I'll take care of it."
They parted ways in the hallway, Sakura and Rider going to the storeroom to retrieve the yukata as Archer took Rin to the guestroom she had been in earlier, Shirou trailing behind.
The younger man kept his mouth shut as he slid the door open, but Archer doubted that blessed state would last. Emiya Shirou clearly had something to say to him-just what was still unknown to Archer.
I can hazard a good guess. He thought as he gently lay Rin on the futon before leaving the room so Sakura and Rider could change her in privacy. It's only natural he'd be protective of Rin, as a friend as well as practically a family member with the way things are likely to go with Sakura...
"You should change too, Archer." Shirou commented, expression even. "I still have a few of Oyaji's old yukata. They'll be a bit small on you, but it's better than any other choice you have now. After all, you have to sleep now."
Archer narrowed his eyes, searching his words for hidden meaning and finding none. Also, annoying as it was to admit, Emiya's idea wasn't a bad one. Reluctantly, he followed Emiya to Kiritsugu's room where they both knew his clothes were still kept.
Kneeling down, Shirou sorted through the contents of the clothes chest with a certain special care until he found the navy-blue summer kimono, faintly smelling of cedar. Getting to his feet, the red head handed Archer the cotton garment, expression serious.
"Be careful with it. I don't have many things of his left."
Archer nodded in assent, neither man moving from where they stood. Utter silence filled the room, each sizing the other up.
"Out with it, Emiya. I know you didn't try to get me alone just to lend me clothes out of the goodness of your heart."
Shirou didn't blink at Archer's jab, face resolute.
"You're right. There's something I must say to you." He took a step towards Archer, before bowing deeply. "Thank you for everything."
The white-haired man remained perfectly still, looking at the younger man without so much as a blink. If Emiya had been hoping to surprise him, the boy was in for a world of disappointment.
"Nothing I did was for your sake." Archer said, voice cold and hard as steel.
"I know it wasn't." Shirou returned, straightening up to look him in the eye. "But it helped us all, at great personal cost to yourself. Even though it wasn't for me, my gratitude is still sincere." A thoughtful look settled on Shirou's features as he reached into his pocket. "Besides, there was also this."
In his outstretched palm lay a familiar looking gemstone pendant.
"Are you trying to return it?" Archer asked sarcastically, tone harsh. "It's not mine."
To his irritation, Emiya smirked-smirked!-thoughtfully at him, placing the delicate looking necklace on top of the neatly folded yukata.
"Ah, right. It's always been Tohsaka's, hasn't it? You should return it to her, then."
It took a Heroic Spirit level of willpower to resist punching the younger man, and even then it was a near thing.
"Yes, the necklace," Archer enunciated carefully, "Has always belonged to Rin. But as the one who found it, you should give it back to her yourself."
Emiya shrugged, smirk lessening if not fading away.
"You're going to watch over her when you're done changing, aren't you? You may as well give it back to her. Besides, I've left Sakura long enough. I'm sure she's already set out a futon for you, so just head to the guestroom when you're done." He added, slipping out before Archer could offer a word out protest, the door sliding shut behind him.
Archer scowled at the shouji even as he began to strip out of his armor. It figured the only thing worse than Emiya being right was Emiya being right at his expense.
Five days later, Rin would have normally been pleased with how well things were going. Everything had somehow worked out in the end. The research on how to attain normal bodies for Shirou and Archer was starting to pick up some. Even the fake identities she had put together for the two Servants were nearly complete. In the modern-day clothing they had acquired, both passed for human-at least Archer did and Rider would as soon as the special item Rin had ordered for her arrived.
But she wasn't thinking of those things now, curled up in a tight ball in her bed, fear and loathing from her latest nightmare still sweeping over her body in waves. If she had been in any shape to do so, Rin would have appreciated the irony of sleeping so peacefully the night of the last day of the War, only to suffer from crippling dreams every night afterwards.
Terrible, frightening nightmares. Nightmares where they all failed, where Sakura had died, where she had died, where Angra Mainyu had been fully summoned and the world blown straight into the End of Days.
So far she had managed to keep their existence to herself, though Archer had been eyeing her suspiciously lately. If there was one person she wanted to hide them from, it was him. Not from shame at her own weakness, but because his own innate kindness despite all he had been through would make him try to comfort her.
Comfort was the last thing she had any right to. For her failure as a sister, for her failure as a magus, for selfishly forcing him into her bed.
Rin would deal with it on her own. She had managed by herself for ten long years. To not even be able to face her own subconscious would be truly pathetic. She had to.
If only the worst nightmare wasn't yet to come, Tohsaka Rin might have succeeded.
In the darkness, the only clear thing is the weak crying, the kind of weeping that came from one who has the strength to do nothing else. Each sob tears painfully at Rin's heart, a tiny barb ripping her to pieces.
Then a wet, rustling noise starts up. The sound of many small things squirming, writhing, moving as if every motion was a struggle. A door suddenly opens, casting a dim light into the darkness, and even in the dream Rin's stomach turns. Sakura as she had been ten years ago, small and fragile with hair and eyes already changed, lays utterly limp on a mass of worms. If it hadn't been for the delicate rising of her tiny chest, every breath an effort, Rin would think she was dead. There were bruises on her throat, on her legs, on her cheek, visible even under the shadow cast by the figure in the doorway. "Half a day and you're still alive." Matou Zouken comments, tone as mildly surprised as if he was talking about a sudden change of weather. "What do you know, the Tohsaka line isn't defective after all." Sakura doesn't say anything out loud. But there is just enough light to see the words her lips silently formed. Rin tries to move forward, more desperately than she ever has in her life. But in the way of nightmares, she is frozen in place, absolutely mute. She screams anyway, the cry that escapes all the more terrible for its silence, and not even cut short by the horror before her eyes blurring into nothingness.
"---Rin! Rin, wake up!"
Shaking with residual terror, Rin focused on the sight in front of her: Archer, large hands firmly gripping her shoulders, handsome face shadowed with deep concern. With a swift movement she clung to him, burying her face in the soft black cloth of his shirt. Startled though he was, Archer didn't ask any questions, gently stroking her hair.
Awareness returned swiftly, and with it shame and anger. Rin tensed, pushing herself away from Archer and the kindness in his eyes.
"I'm sorry for bothering you," Rin said stiffly, hands tightly clenching the yellow cotton of her nightgown, "But I'm fine now. It was only a bad dream-"
"Don't waste your breath lying to me, Rin." Archer cut her off, his even tone not quite masking very real fury. "A simple bad dream wouldn't make someone as strong as you wake up screaming in the middle of the night." His too-knowing gaze nearly made Rin shrink back, only her own sense of pride stopping her from backing down. "You've been having nightmares every night since the last day of Heaven's Feel, haven't you?"
Rin lifted her chin stubbornly. "And what if I have? After such an event, some trauma is normal."
"Keeping it all to yourself isn't." Archer growled. "What possible reason could you have for trying to hide it? Do you really think no one will notice you look pale and tired?"
Rin's shoulders slumped at that as she stared at her lap, defeated.
"...That's something I don't deserve. Comfort...support...understanding...all the things Sakura never got when she needed it the most." Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, mercilessly held back. "So I won't seek it out." Rin bit her lip, mentally steadying herself for the cutting response she was sure Archer had ready for her.
The gentle embrace he drew her into broke her in a way harsh words never could. Unbidden, a tear slid down her cheek, dampening his shirt. Bewildered, it was all she could do to not simply give in and shove her cares onto his shoulders.
"Archer?" Rin asked softly, hands pressed against his chest by the strength of the arms around her.
"You've always been so worldly, Rin. So confident. Sometimes I forget you're ten years younger than I am." Archer sighed, looking like someone who had gotten the joke but didn't appreciate the punch line. "That there are things you have yet to learn and experience."
Rin blinked, brow furrowing. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Archer loosened his grip on her, one large hand lifting her chin to make their eyes meet before moving to brush her cheek. His face was utterly serious in a way Rin rarely saw.
"That you've made a mistake that you feel you can never make up for. And the painful truth of the matter, Rin, is that you can't make up for it. No matter how much you punish yourself, it won't change what happened to Sakura."
Rin trembled, more hot tears following the path of the first.
"But I can't...I can't just do nothing, even if it's pointless..." Rin whispered.
Archer's small smile made her heart race in a way that had nothing to do with fear.
"Help her build and protect the happiness she has now. The past is set, but the future can be anything. But Rin, good as your intentions were, holding so tightly to what happened to Sakura will just keep her chained to it, and she'll never be truly free. Don't disregard it, but you shouldn't keep her a victim for the rest of her life."
The dark-haired magus closed her eyes, the tears flowing freely.
"Is that all the hard-earned wisdom you have to share, Archer?" Rin asked even as his thumb carefully caught what tears it could.
"For the moment." Archer replied calmly, pulling her back against him, settling her on his lap automatically. "It took me a long time to accept, but you've always been smarter than me. I doubt it'll take you as long."
Rin laughed weakly at that, pressing her face into his collarbone. They sat together for a long while, Archer patiently holding her as she finally began to calm down.
"...Thank you, Archer." Rin murmured eventually, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to put up with my weakness again."
Archer frowned down at her, one hand at the small of her back while the other stroked silky black hair. "You're not weak in any sense of the word, Rin."
Rin snorted slightly in response. "I know that, which is why I hate that when I did weaken, it was around you. The person whose respect I wanted most..." She caught his genuinely startled expression and flushed pink. "Don't look at me like that. I know I could never be on your level in term of combat, but if I could have been your emotional equal, that would have been enough for me. But I couldn't even do that." The pink coloring her cheekbones darkened. "Even now, I..."
Concerned, Archer looked at her, studying her face carefully. "You what? Rin, is there something you need to tell me?"
Rin blushed, searching for the tiniest sign he knew what she was getting at, and not finding it. Just when she thought she couldn't disgrace herself more in front of him, too.
"Archer..." She began reluctantly, eyes pleading with him to stop her words. "That night, the one before you died...I know I pressured you into it, and I'm sorry-"
"Don't even think that, Rin. You didn't force me into anything I didn't want for myself. If anything, I should apologize to you. I didn't see to your enjoyment like I should have."
"W-what do you mean, Archer? It hurt some at the end, but you really did make me feel like I wasn't alone..." She took a deep breath before finishing in a rush, feeling as if she might burn up in sheer embarrassment. "And you made sure I c-came. That's the point, right?"
"Rin..." Archer breathed out slowly. "If that's all you think there is to it, I really did fail you on that account."
"Well, it's not like I had a wealth of experience to draw on." Rin muttered, wishing desperately she wasn't so aware of the feel of him against her. "Even now, I...I want you to touch me again. To make me feel like I'm not alone."
Archer went still as a statue at her words, not even breathing. Angry with herself for ruining the comfort of the moment, Rin tried to move away only to be caught in a grip as strong as steel.
"Do you really want that, Rin?" Archer asked, his husky whisper brushing against her ear, setting her body shivering. "Let me, and I will."
Not trusting her own voice, Rin nodded silently, unsure of anything but her trust in what he would chose to do.
"Then just remember this, Rin." Archer murmured as he leaned his face towards hers. "If you want me to stop at any time, simply say so."
Then the distance between them vanished as Archer's lips brushed her own, pulling her into a kiss as different from the desperate one they had shared that night as the sun was from the moon. Her heart pounding, Rin deepened it, mouth parting as his tongue teased hers. One calloused hand supported her shoulder, the other moving to cup her left breast through her nightgown.
"Your heart's racing." Archer noted as he broke the kiss, slipping his arm underneath her legs to lie her fully out on the bed. Smirking just a little, he leaned over her, sucking gently on her earlobe. "Good, but…"
"I'm going to make it race even more."
Tiredly, Rin leaned against her Servant under the sheets that covered them both, reveling in the warmth and strength that Archer radiated even at his least guarded. She closed her eyes, wanting to drift off to much-needed sleep, when Archer's hand, which had been lightly resting on her bottom, pinched her just hard enough to sting.
"Archerrrr..." Rin growled, sweet smile somehow scarier than the tone of her voice.
"Rin, we need to talk." Archer said as he shifted, resting on his elbow.
Rin frowned, curling her hands over her chest in unconscious defense.
"Right now? Can't it wait until morning?" At his impassively resolute expression, she sighed, lips twisting into a small, ironic smile. "Fine. I should have know for all your talk of heroism's stupidity, you'd still try to do the noble thing."
"The noble thing would have been to comfort you without taking you to bed." Archer snapped, voice tight. "Since we're kind of past that point, and I don't really feel like avoiding you for gods know how long, especially since we live together, I thought it'd be better to talk things out."
Rin smiled sadly, lifting her hand to brush his face. "I'm sorry, Archer. I'm no good at this sort of thing...most mages aren't. I'm not used to having someone to rely on, or care how I feel. And I..." She hesitated before reluctantly continuing. "I didn't have the greatest role models for a healthy relationship to begin with. My mother didn't offer any protest when my father gave Sakura anyway, because she didn't view it as her place to do so. Her own child, and she did nothing. He wouldn't have listened to her even if she had."
Chastised, Archer reached down to stroke her hair. "Rin..."
Shaking a little, Rin let herself be pet. "Zenjo Aoi wasn't a magus, you know. She married him for love, and it took her to a place where she couldn't even plead for her child to be returned to her." She swallowed dryly before finishing. "I saw what it did to her, even at seven years old. And I swore I'd never let myself end up like that."
The silence was palpable before Rin broke it.
"But...I can't help myself. I like being with you, even though things would be easier if I didn't. So...I have a proposition for you."
Archer nearly choked on air in shock. "A what?"
"A proposition for an arrangement of sorts. Look, we're both consenting adults, and I feel better when you're with me." Rin's cheeks turned a shade of red only slightly fainter than her usual shirt, but she pressed on. "So, for the time being...stay by my side. I'm not asking for love or vows of eternal devotion...just to not feel so damn alone."
Archer blinked, desperately trying to collect himself, or at least not openly gape at her like an idiotic teenager. "You want to be friends with benefits?"
Rin gave him her best low-lidded stare. "That's kind of a crass way of putting it, but yes, basically. I won't advertise it to Sakura and the others, but I won't hide it either."
He narrowed his eyes at her, looking skeptical. "And you don't think this is something that won't blow up in your face?"
Rin shrugged, leaning towards him. "If it's a mistake, it's one I'm choosing to risk making for myself." She smiled slightly. "I'm not going to wake up tomorrow morning and pull the whole 'violated maiden' bit on you."
"..."
"Archer! You actually thought I'd do that?!?" Rin shrieked, sitting up and looking for something to hit him with.
"...Rin, if you want to make me regret thinking that, you'll have more success if I was less...distracted." Archer pointed out, eyes going dark with appreciation at the sight of her slim, pale body.
A pillow to the face was Rin's only response, but the force with which it was hurled made it a pretty effective one. It was a credit to her strength of will that she avoided giving in to the urge to hold it over his face until he suffocated. Instead, she scooted next to him, sitting in seiza position as rigidly as if she was conducting a tea ceremony.
"Well, Archer?"
Slowly, he tossed the pillow aside, a low laugh vibrating in his chest. "It's a little ridiculous to be so formal at this point, Rin."
She frowned at him, one hand reaching for the pillow again. "Archer..."
"Fine." Archer said evenly, holding out a hand. "As long as you're willing to, I'll stay with you."
Surprised, Rin raised her brows at him. "It's a nice gesture, but not really suited for this." She took the hand he offered, pulling him close enough to draw into a long, lingering kiss.
With a soft sigh, she parted from him, feeling settled for the first time in days. "There, now our arrangement is officially sealed..." Rin announced, voice trailing off when she look down past his waist. "A-already, Archer?"
He smirked at her before using the hand he still held as leverage to pull her down to the bed. "As my Master, you should be familiar with all my skills," He rumbled, trailing kisses down her neck, "Including swift recovery."
"Mmm...Archer..."
"Rin..."
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The golden sunlight filtering in the next morning, oddly bright for this time of year, woke Archer before anything else. He felt unusually regretful about this-he hadn't had such a nice dream in years. It was a shame he couldn't return to it.
Half-awake, Archer tried to stretch, only to become aware of the warm weight on his chest. Tohsaka Rin lay curled up against him, dark hair shimmering in the light. His movement caused her to shift a bit in her sleep, bare skin soft and warm.
Upon seeing her face, he hadn't stood a chance.
Pink lips curved in a content smile, cheeks lightly flushed, vibrant blue eyes closed, her thick lashes casting a tiny shadow on her face.
Archer looked at her, just looked at her, committing the vision before him to memory. Then, very, very quietly he swore.
He should have known better than to think Fate would cut him a damn break for once. Freed only to fall hard and fast for a girl who didn't want love-the situation was a first, but the bitter taste of irony wasn't.
Freed...
Maybe he could do something after all. Archer had been given a chance-wasting it by moping would be the height of idiocy. Carefully, he craned his neck to check the clock. He had a little over half an hour before Rin dragged herself, near catatonic, out of bed.
It wouldn't be easy, or quick. On a scale of difficulty, changing Tohsaka Rin's mind was nearly as high up as out-maneuvering the World herself. But if Archer was anything, it was patient and cunning. Gently as possible so as not to disturb her, Archer slid out of the bed, reaching for his clothes.
As he slipped them on, smoothing out the wrinkles, Rin made an unhappy noise in her sleep, moving towards her lost source of warmth before curling up into a ball.
Hope-there was one he wasn't used to. Silently, Archer padded out of Rin's room, closing the door behind him before heading downstairs to the kitchen. He'd make Rin breakfast and tea...and plans for himself.
Three weeks later, the two of them stood in the Emiya courtyard, pulling down dry linens from the laundry poles. Shirou had taken with a slight fever, and though he insisted he was fine, he had bowed to Sakura's teary eyes and given in to bed rest. As Archer and Rin had been over anyway for dinner, something they had started doing frequently as things had settled down, Rin had volunteered their services to bring in the laundry before the sky made good on its threat of rain.
"That Shirou...he really should have been more careful." Rin sighed, neatly placing another crisply folded sheet in the basket. "I know he would have jumped in to save that kid no matter what, but hanging out in wet clothes for twenty minutes afterward in the middle of winter is just foolish."
"Much as I hate to defend him," Archer replied as he reached up for another sheet, "Part of it was the girl's parents wouldn't let him go without profuse thanks."
"I'm sure the knowledge he spared their feelings would have come as an immense comfort if he had contracted pneumonia instead of a simple cold." Rin said, still a little irritated. "Doesn't he understand more than just his health hinges on his own well being?"
"If he didn't then, he does now." The white haired man deadpanned as he smoothed out the last pillowcase. "After the talking to Rider gave him, I think it'll be weeks before he dare ventures out of the house without at least a flu mask."
Rin smirked at that before surveying the finished work with a pleased face. Seeing nothing left to do, she dropped the folded pillowcase on top of the basket that held the rest of the linens.
"Thank you for helping, Archer." Rin smiled, giving him a warm kiss. "It wouldn't have gone nearly as fast on my own."
Archer raised a brow before leaning down, intended to kiss her again, before the engawa door slid open and Rider, dressed in a grey turtleneck and jeans with her long hair tied back at the waist, stepped out. Smoothly, he moved away to a less intimate distance.
"Oh, you've already finished." The Servant noted, her masked gaze looking at the basket. "I'm sorry, I would have helped but Sakura needed me until just now."
"It's alright." Rin reassured her, before brightening up. "Actually, it's good you're out here-guess what finally came?" With a flourish, Rin reached into her coat pocket, holding out a small case to Rider.
The eirei reached out and held it carefully, hands shaking. "I-is this the..."
"Yes. The Sealing Glasses capable of blocking your Mystic Eyes." Rin confirmed. "You'll be able to leave the house without your Breaker Gorgon now." Excited, she nudged Rider. "Put them on and let's see how they look."
Looking nervous, Rider turned in the opposite direction, removing the blindfold that sealed her eyes. With great care, she slipped on the glasses, then turned back to face Archer and Rin.
In spite of herself, Rin blushed. "Rider, you're so beautiful!" Grinning, the dark-haired mage stepped forward for a better look, missing the tic in Archer's face even if Rider didn't.
"Ahh...thank you, Rin." Rider said, looking slightly embarrassed. "You've been an immense help. If I can do anything at all to repay you-"
"That won't be necessary, it's not like it was difficult or anything." Rin declared, waving her hand. "Besides, if you had to hang around here all the time, you'd die of boredom. Now you can actually go out into town."
"That's true." Rider agreed, smiling shyly. "I wanted to go to the library and get a borrowing card." Her pleasant smile took on a slightly nervous edge. "Actually, there was something I needed to talk to you about, so if you wouldn't mind going with me..."
Confused, Rin tilted her head. "What would that be?"
Rider blushed, wringing her hands together. "That's...that's..."
A surprised cry drew the attention of all three of them, automatically falling into defensive stances.
"SHIROUUUUUU----! WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE?!?!? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO WHILE NEE-SAN WAS AWAY?"
Fujimura Taiga was back. And she was pissed.
Author's Notes:
I just looked back on my author's notes for See The Love There That's Sleeping, and how difficult I said it was to write.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
This freaking thing is twice as long, and took about four months longer to finish. But I think the result is worth it, and that it's much better than the previous chapter. This is due in LARGE part to umbra elf, the proverbial woman whose worth is greater than rubies. Seriously, the smut would have been much, much worse without her advice, and I owe her like whoa. Moving on...
Title is a play on the Fifth Magic, Kaleidoscope aka Alternate Realities, and considering this is Rin we're talking about here, it fits. Because this was so long, and I have an extremely cheesy sense of verbal humor, I divided it into A-side and B-side, like an vinyl record. XD Speaking of Magic, we saw alot more of it, so here's the rundown:
Jeweled Sword Zelretch: This is an artifact of the Fifth Magic (although the version Shirou traced was a copy of a copy. The original Jeweled Sword was powerful enough to keep the moon from falling into the Earth, after all.) that works by cutting a small tear in infinite alternate realities, then siphoning off mana from them in a concussive blast. Effect looks like a mini-Excalibur, but in effect you could use it infinitely, which is why it was such an effective tool against Dark Sakura with her near-infinite mana reserves. The jeweled part of the blade can also be detonated as a single-use explosive.
Rin can make another one of these over time, provided she has the money, which would imply that she won't need Shirou's help in making it. This important to take into consideration considering we'll be running into the Jeweled Sword's original creator later on...
Dress of Heaven: Materialization of the soul for several seconds. The heart that controls the Greater Grail. A pure white dress that is made from gold. Is fitted with 7 rings that are said to have control over creation/the souls of others. The 7 holes on the dress are the transformed rings and with each Servant soul absorbed, one hole is lit. As a person will be turned to gold if in contact with it, operation must be conducted by elementals/fairies, dwarves, or homunculus. This is part of the reason Ilya was made a homunculus, in addition to the fact she was meant to be the core of the Grail.
I couldn't elaborate on this much, but basically Ilya used the Dress to call Archer and Shirou back, and then transferred their souls into homunculus bodies. Afterwards, she sealed the Greater Grail shut, so no more Grail Wars will occur. I also wanted to mention her use of Archer's arm as a catalyst was how he was able to retain his memories, but I didn't get a chance to do that either. Also using Archer's arm meant his summoning was more "complete" than Shirou's-Archer has all his original circuits and can still use UBW, but Shirou has far less than he previously did.
And now the fun part-Character Analysis! -cue sounds of people exiting the browser-
Archer: He got the second chance Nasu and everyone else cruelly denied him, only to fall in love with a girl who doesn't want to have a romantic relationship. Isn't it sad, Archer? On the bright side, he is getting sex on a regular basis now. Not to mention more or less utilizing the strategy parts of his brain to change Rin's mind about the whole relationship thing...Rin isn't going to know what hit her. XD
And yes, they're shacking up together. Fuji-nee's gonna flip.
Rin: She's entered a relationship of sorts with Archer, but is frankly averse to falling in love. From what we've seen in Fate/Zero, the prequel to Fate/Stay Night, her parents' relationship was a very uneven one-Aoi was pretty much a doormat, and Tokiomi had all the power. I think that would have soured her on marriage and the like very early on, and since she's looked after herself for ten years, she's used to being alone. She'll gradually adjust, but it's going to take some doing. Good thing Archer can be really patient when he wants.
Ilya: Yep, she totally knew they did it. XD But in the end, she sacrificed her own existence so Archer and Shirou could live-because she wanted "Emiya Shirou" to live more than herself. At the end of Heaven's Feel route, Archer's mana was the only Servant's contained inside of her(since everyone else but Rider had been devoured by Dark Sakura), which lends another edge of plausibility to her calling him back.
Shirou: He's growing a pair! I'm so proud. -tears up- So yeah, he's toughened up some, and his temperament has become similar to Archer's in some ways. Additionally, there's going to be some fun stuff later on where we find out there's been a surprising little side-effect to having Archer's arm transplanted onto him for a time.
Sakura: She's gotten the happy ending she deserves, and I'm looking forward to making sure it stays that way. She's starting to get suspicious about her Nee-san and Archer, though. I've always liked Sakura, and it's going be fun writing her, especially as she gets bolder and Rin's personality starts rubbing off her.
Rider: Have I mentioned how much I adore Rider? Her level of loyalty alone is impressive, but I really like her personality a lot. Heh, she's going to play an amusing role in the next chapter, one that's been slightly hinted at the end of this one-needless to say, much embarrassment will be had by (nearly) all. Poor Rider's highly developed observational skills cause her so much anguish...
Saber: Devoured by the Shadow, killed off by Shirou and Rider, and made to quote Monty Python. I really do have a heart as black as pitch. But at least I didn't make her say "The Black Knight always triumphs!" which proves I do have a milligram of restraint after all.
Fuji-nee: Wants to know what the HELL she missed while she was away. She probably thinks Shirou's fallen into deviant ways. Kids these days, always having sex!