Monday, October 18th 1965
Monday. Ah, another day of school. Oh what fun. Bad luck, Andrew's sick. We don't know what happened, but when we woke he had a fever. I advised him to stay in bed. I'll be home later. I was ready to walk to school at thirty minutes past eight, am. It was nice today - sun, sky, zero clouds. Ah, the perfect day for oh I don't know, maybe a fire? I'll see to it, ask Julia about it later. I wandered onto school saying my first words of the day to Julia. She came around the corner as I went on by.
"Oh, hey," I said. She nodded, not looking too hot. And these were my first words, for I had not bothered saying anything this morning. First, I am tired. Second, can't be bothered opening my mouth. Third, why bother talking anyway. We walked on to school. Neither speaking, me dreaming and Julia muttering to herself. About what? I don't know. Paying no attention.
Arriving soon enough, on we went to our first class, Math. Which of course, we are late for. No idea how I manage always to be late. It's expected. I wander into class, not looking at teacher and sitting at the back. Of course the back is a perfect place to talk and dream. My favorite.
But class went too quickly and I was forced out of my dreams. For nothing, but to move to another class. But I'm sure the teacher wouldn't mind me being there. Saying nothing, not moving. The teacher actually did mind me being there. So off I walked, pulling Julia along. Her still looking at the ground, as if dead. I pulled her out to the sunlight and blue sky. Off out of school grounds and down to the bus stop. And I had money for a bus ride, the both of us. So on we got when it arrived, after sitting in silence waiting. We paid, skipped to the back and sat down. Stretching out, getting comfortable.
I'd no idea where we were to go, anywhere but school or home. Someone might be there. Tell Darry, and I'm not allowed out for a week. So we jumped off in town. Yes, I had been there many times. Usually while skipping. I knew my way around and went off to a nice big cafe. Where there was usually a nice boy waiting to buy me a fries.
But this time it was dead. Nobody was there. Maybe a few people. Soc people but not someone I wanted fries off anyway. With my stomach rumbling I had no place to go but home. Eh, why not, I thought. Can't hurt. Julia's here. Say school was on fire. Imagine that! Oh and I did imagine. On the walk back to my house, actually not too far, I was off in a world of fire and people screaming. Stuck in their houses, unable to get out. Me and Julia go by, laughing and pointing. Off to the safety of our own houses and not even bothered by the smell of rotting bodies.
At my house, we collapse on the couch. Tired from walking. Amazing, Andrew was nowhere to be seen. I turn on the TV and go to the kitchen. But those pigs who are called 'friends' have eaten most things. Leaving me with ice-cream, biscuits and peanut butter. Of course that's the only option. To eat it all. Two spoons, two bowls. And I take it to the lounge, where Julia is waiting. Back to her normal self, she smiles. Talking, a lot. We eat, talk, dream, sleep and watch TV.
But Darry comes home a little too early. Maybe at two? I'm not sure. Right away Julia leaves, not saying bye. I stare at Darry, daring him to yell. And he accepts. Oh he yelled alright.
"Grace, what are you doing home?" he says, not yelling quite yet. I remain unusually calm and reply.
"Julia wasn't going well so we left," I say, telling the truth. I try looking innocent, it works.
"Look, Grace, if Julia isn't well you should still stay at school. Don't bring her home and feed her peanut butter. It'll only make her worse," he says.
"Oh, so it's ok if I come home though, right?" I say. Oh, Grace you've done it, Andrew says coming into the room. 'Where've you been?' I think. He doesn't answer but Darry turns to me.
"No! Look I try to be nice but you just can't skip! Ok! I don't care how much you hate it, you stay at school and try your best to work!" he yells. And that set me over the edge. Off I went, Andrew trailing behind. To my room and that anger is bubbling right inside me. And biting, scratching isn't going to do it.
Blade, skin splits, blood pours and I give a sigh of relief. But that just won't do it. A dirty shirt on my floor washes away the blood and I do it again. This time different though. Blade, skin splits, blood pours, sigh of relief, and Darry. Yes, he had been watching all along. I gasp, waiting for him to yell and send me off to a home. Like he says he'll do if we don't do something right.
But he doesn't, no not this time. This time he comes over and grabs my wrist, examining the damage. He gets rid of the blood with my t-shirt and hugs me. This isn't a pretend forget-this-ever-happened hug. No this is a real I-love-you hug. And actually I'm kind of scared. I've only ever received two of these hugs in my life. When I was five, from my mom on my birthday. And when mom died, I got one from Soda. But I really think Darry wants me to never do this again. Well, he doesn't have to watch if he doesn't want to.