Enjoy

I don't know what to do anymore. My mum's in hospital, my sister ran away, and my dad. Who the fuck knows where he is?

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention my friends…the ones that left me.

I practically live alone.

I'm living life alone.

Who the fuck wants that?

I guess it has its ups and downs, I mean, now I can do whatever the hell I want. There's just one thing stopping me and I don't even know what it is. I want to know, but I can't quite point it out. Maybe… maybe I can break free of this weird thing that's pulling me back. You know, like in the movies, when the main characters had enough of their shit hole of a life and they just have a breakdown and then change. Completely.

But I don't want to change, I don't want to be like them, because then I'll just be a hypocrite or whatever the hell you call those people that hate what they've become.

Anyway, so here I stand. In the kitchen, alone may I add? No change there, but wait… I'm holding a bottle of Jack Daniels in my hand.

Yup, I guess I am going to hate one of those people that are going hate what they have become. But what's the point in thinking about the consequences. I mean, I suffered enough of them already haven't I?

I scrunch up my nose once I unscrew the lid of the bottle. How can the fucking teenagers in the movies or even the ones in real life drink this shit?

I bring the bottle up to my noise again and immediately repeat the same reaction.

It can't be that bad, Can it? The numbness that I'll feel after it would be worth it.

I pore some of the bottle into my old yellow winnie the pooh mug and walk towards the tap and fill the rest of the glass with water.

That should get rid of the smell.

Ok here it goes, I try to get rid of the scent that fills my nostrils once the mug is like a millimetre away from my lips, but quickly poor the contents out of the glass down the kitchen sink once I get another sniff of the drink.

How the fuck do alcoholics get addicted to that shit?

Sunday.

What can I do on a Sunday? I can only visit my mom on visiting hours and it's not like I can call any friends and ask them if they want to go to the mall or anything… not like I used to.

It was a Tuesday. In other words twilight Tuesday, well, that's what Peyton, Rachel, Haley and I named it and we were all walking on the beach as we fought over who we thought was hottest. Edward or Jacob?

"Brookiieeee, help me out here pleaaaseeee, tell Ditsy and Blondie that Jacob Is hotter because we all know he is" I laugh at how childish my red head friend can be sometimes, and let out another chuckle when Haley playfully punches Rachel on the arm.

"Well… I personally don't like neither of them, I mean, that Edward dude looks like he's constipated half of the time and Jacob hasn't even got any chest hair yet. Which I mean is a bit weird considering he is a werewolf… I really don't know. I actually find Carlisle hotter, nothing better than a hot doctor"

All three of them groan and share the 'she doesn't get it look' "Brooke. You missing the whole point here Edwards only looks like that because of Bella's scent and-" here she goes again.

"yeah yeah yeah, let's just change topic to… I don't know maybe the kiss I saw you and hotshot share the other night" I watch as Haley's cheeks turn a light shade of pink, she's always been the shy one.

It actually wasn't long after that when Haley got sucked into this thing called love and it wasn't long when the twilight Tuesday's started decreasing and when Peyton started calling it stupid.

I need air… and there's only one place that can give me just that.

I watch my feet as they slowly start sinking into the sand after every step I take. It's starting to get dark now but I couldn't care less. Most parents would probably shit a brick if they see their child on the beach at night, but mine aren't even here to see. They probably wouldn't even be there to see me graduate, but, it's not my mom's fault. I mean, it's not like she asked to die.

I take a seat near the ocean almost near enough for it to swallow up my feet but the closest it gets is to the tip of my toe.

It's silent. I used to hate silence, but I guess I've kind of gotten used to it by know. Considering the lack of presence of people I have.

I look at the sight ahead of my and close my eyes while I breath in taking in the scent of the saltwater. Silence .

Perfect.

"Mom… everything's going to be ok, trust me on this. Just relax for the night and go out for dinner with Andy or something. I'm sure she'll be fine… because if the doctors said she's fine then I guess she is…ok…ok…bye" and just like that the fucking silence is interrupted.

I try to block out the presence of the person as he lets out a sigh. This is my fucking spot, mine.

I attempt to close my eyes again and breathe in again but I'm interrupted -"You ever feel like you're the only one who's standing up. I mean like… you're the only person that has hope"

There's silence. Is he talking to me? There's no one else here so he must be.

"I lost all my hope ages ago" I hear some shuffling behind me and hear him let out a sigh again.

"Yeah… I guess I have to in a way" I don't reply. What do you expect me to say back to that? Good for you? I hear his breathing and presence get closer and it's not long up until he's sitting near me.

We sit in silence and just watch as the wave's crash onto the large rocks. I turn my head to look at him but I can't really make out his face because of the grey hoody he's wearing. I study his movements as he puts his hand inside his pockets and then takes them out revealing a cigarette and a Zippo. I observe as he places the cigarette into his mouth then lighting it before he inhales it in through his mouth then exhaling.

He extends his arm while holding out his cigarette. All I can do is stare at it. I've never smoked before, I doubt I could. I can't even drink. He gives me a sympathetic look as he brings the cigarette back into his mouth as if he's saying 'sorry, I didn't know you didn't smoke'

After about another 2 minutes of sitting in silence I take the cigarette from in between his fingers and place it in between my lips, I feel his eyes penetrate through me as I take in the smoke and start Inhaling the cigarette through my mouth but it isn't long before the smoke starts tickling my throat and starts invading my lungs interrupting my breathing and making me cough.

He smirks as he takes the cigarette away from my fingers and starts patting my back making it easier for me to breathe and to stop coughing. He then takes one more whiff of the cigarette before chucking it on the sand and places his foot on top to get rid of the red-orange glow.

It's not long again until the silence overtakes us. Again.

Review?